Worst ever song lyrics?

Radostanradical

I don't wanna see a ghost, id rather have a slice of toast and watch the evening news

charltonnick

Can someone explain what that ' You can call me Al ' song is all about ?

stonemuse

One of Bowie’s rare failures 

Well, I gave him roasted toadstools
And a glass of dandelion wine (pardon)
Then I put him on a train to Eastbourne
Carried his bag, and gave him a fag

Hey, where do you come from?
(Gnome-man's land)
Oh, really?

In the morning, when I woke up
He was sitting on the edge of my bed
With his brother, whose name was Fred
He'd brought him along to sing me a song

Alright, let's hear it
Yeah, what's that clicking noise?
That's Fred, he's a metro-gnome

Oh now, I'm a gnome, anyway
Haven't you got a gnome to go to?
No, we are gnome-ads
Didn't they teach you to get your hair cut at school?
You look like a rolling gnome
Nah, not at the London School of Eco-gnome-ics 

Masterbrew

Life by Desree is pretty risible from start to finish. The first verse has already been posted; the second verse starts of by her saying she's so superstitious, she keeps a rabbit's tail (I thought a rabbit's foot was meant to be lucky, although the rabbit may not agree) then moves on to taking up bungee jumping, with the third verse being a conclusion that has nothing to do with the first two! For those who want to enjoy the song and lyrics https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eby0bVEIWcs&list=RDeby0bVEIWcs&start_radio=1

Masterbrew

My offering - Float on by The Floaters. 

Given that a floater is a turd that won't flush away and the band probably thought they were warm, brown and soft, their name is rather appropriate!

Aquarius and my name is Ralph
Now I like a woman who loves her freedom
And I like a woman who can hold her own
And if you fit that description, baby, come with me

Take my hand
Come with me, baby, to Love Land
Let me show you how sweet it could be
Sharing love with me, I want you to
Float, float on (come on, come on, come on)
Float on, float on (ooh, ooh, baby)

Libra and my name is Charles
Now I like a woman that's quiet
A woman who carries herself like Miss Universe

Take my hand
Come with me, baby, to Love Land
Let me show you how sweet it could be
Sharing loving with me, I want you to
Float, float on (girl, yes)
Float on, float on (with Charles)
Float, float, float on (ooh, yeah)
Float on, float on

Leo and my name is Paul
You see, I like all women of the world 
And if you understand what I'm sayin'
I want you to

Take my hand
Come with me, baby, to Love Land
Let me show you how sweet it could be
Sharing love with me, I want you to
Float, float on (so float with me, baby)
Float on, float on

Cancer and my name is Larry
And I like a woman that loves everything and everybody
And you know what, ladies, if you feel that this is you
Then this is what I want you to do

Ooh, yeah, take my hand
Let me take you to Love Land
Let me show you how sweet it could be
Sharing your love with Larry, listen
Float, float on (you better float with me now)
Float on, float on (float on)
Float, float, float on (yeah, yeah)
You better float on
Float on

Masterbrew

Not really the worst lyrics but "Does your mother know" by Abba (lead vocals by the two men) definitely looks a bit dodgy these days!

Does Your Mother Know

You're so hot, teasing meSo you're blue but I can't take a chance on a chick like youThat's something I couldn't doThere's that look in your eyesI can read in your face that your feelings are driving you wildAh, but girl you're only a childWell I can dance with you honeyIf you think it's funnyDoes your mother know that you're out?And I can chat with you babyFlirt a little maybeDoes your mother know that you're out?Take it easy (take it easy)Better slow down girlThat's no way to goDoes your mother know?Take it easy (take it easy)Try to cool it girlTake it nice and slowDoes your mother know?I can see what you wantBut you seem pretty young to be searching for that kind of funSo maybe I'm not the oneNow you're so cute, I like your styleAnd I know what you mean when you give me a flash of that smile (smile)But girl you're only a childWell I can dance with you honeyIf you think it's funnyDoes your mother know that you're out?And I can chat with you babyFlirt a little maybeDoes your mother know that you're out?Take it easy (take it easy)Better slow down girlThat's no way to goDoes your mother know?Take it easy (take it easy)Try to cool it girlTake it nice and slowDoes your mother know?Well I can dance with you honeyIf you think it's funnyDoes your mother know that you're out?And I can chat with you babyFlirt a little maybeDoes your mother know that you're out?

Masterbrew

Re-posting hoping that it formats properlyYou're so hot, teasing meSo you're blue but I can't take a chance on a chick like youThat's something I couldn't doThere's that look in your eyesI can read in your face that your feelings are driving you wildAh, but girl you're only a childWell I can dance with you honeyIf you think it's funnyDoes your mother know that you're out?And I can chat with you babyFlirt a little maybeDoes your mother know that you're out?Take it easy (take it easy)Better slow down girlThat's no way to goDoes your mother know?Take it easy (take it easy)Try to cool it girlTake it nice and slowDoes your mother know?I can see what you wantBut you seem pretty young to be searching for that kind of funSo maybe I'm not the oneNow you're so cute, I like your styleAnd I know what you mean when you give me a flash of that smile (smile)But girl you're only a childWell I can dance with you honeyIf you think it's funnyDoes your mother know that you're out?And I can chat with you babyFlirt a little maybeDoes your mother know that you're out?Take it easy (take it easy)Better slow down girlThat's no way to goDoes your mother know?Take it easy (take it easy)Try to cool it girlTake it nice and slowDoes your mother know?Well I can dance with you honeyIf you think it's funnyDoes your mother know that you're out?And I can chat with you babyFlirt a little maybeDoes your mother know that you're out?

Addicksi

Any of the crap Black Lace produced. 

CaptainRobbo

I got twenty acres
An' you got fortythree
Now I got a brand new combine harvester
An' I'll give you the key

The Wurzels are great though.

gringo

Henry Irving said:

Nothing wrong with Bolan's lyrics.

"I drive a rolls royce,
Cos it's good for my voice"

Inventor of Glam rock, copied by Bowie, East London Mod to hippie minstral to pop superstar in a decade.

RIP 

Ok Henry defend NewYork City- entire lyrics

"Did you ever see a woman coming out of New York City with a frog in her hand".
"Did you ever see a woman coming out of New York City with a frog in her hand"
"I did don't you know, I did don't you know, I did don't you know... and don't it show."

and repeat!

CaptainRobbo

CaptainRobbo said:

I got twenty acres
An' you got fortythree
Now I got a brand new combine harvester
An' I'll give you the key

The Wurzels are great though.

Gribbo

"Can I touch you there,"
"Touch you deep inside"
"Can I touch your...... arse,"
"The way you're touchin' mine"
"Can I touch you there,"
"Touch you deep within"
"Can I touch you there,"
"Can I touch you... there"

IdleHans

Stig said:

'And did those feet in ancient times walk upon England's pastures green'?

No, absolutely not. Next stupid question please?

And was the holy lamb of God in England's pleasant pastures seen?

Got a couple more after that

Ferryman

Everyone's a super hero, Everyone's a Captain Kirk

Addicksi

CaptainRobbo said:

I got twenty acres
An' you got fortythree
Now I got a brand new combine harvester
An' I'll give you the key

The Wurzels are great though.

Oo arr oo arr aye, oo arr oo arr aye 😆