Anyone have this sensation more and more as they get older? For me the list is absolutely ****ing endless:
Garage music
Celebrity culture
Words & phrases like "Innit doe" "Jagetmebruv" "Merk im" "Ohmydayz" etc. etc. repeated ad nauseum
Little Miss Jocelyn, Titty Titty Bang Bang, The Mighty Boosh, Little Britain
Kids wearing baseball caps with the ****ing price tags still on them
Playing music out of a ****ty mobile phone speaker just to annoy/intimidate bus passengers
95% of films made after about 1994
People who are just genuinely stupid being promoted at work because they've got 'dyslexia' - even though you KNOW they're just thick and can't spell
Blokes double-barrelling their surname when they get married - putting their WIFE'S name first
The absolute epitome of the decline in modern civilisation for me came tonight - I watched a 'comedy' show on BBC Three from some fat no-mark tool called Marc Wootton. After watching the first five minutes and not even smiling once, I thought I'd sit through the whole thing, just to see whether I'd manage a laugh. Nothing. Not even a smirk. About twenty minutes in I seriously started to wonder what on Earth the focus groups/marketing people had thought of when they commissioned this s*** as a series. Honestly - it is absolutely frightening - I had more laughs when I had a Gastroscopy.
Maybe I'm just getting too old.
1
Comments
Yes.
But if I make a list, and really think about it/get into it, I'll be here for fookin hours.
Some good calls there though!
We could have been separated at birth...
I like Grumpy old men, though.
myspace
the simpsons
black kids that wear there trousers down below their ass showing their pants
white kids that try to talk like black people
health and safety at work - it is part of my job but most of it baffles me because it doesn't make sense - they won't let people do silly things but quite happy for a solicitor to work 2 days solid without a break on a big deal.
the kevin keegan furore
Homer is a hero.
Love it!
Speak for yourself, brother ......... it's when she wants it again, that's the probem...(!)
:-)
Drum and Bass
Big weddings
Going out for dinner
Champagne
Eastenders
Most of Leroys list (I agree with)
Big Brother
X Factor
Ok & Hello and the obsession with them
Jade Goody
Paul Burrell
'WAGs'
Leaving a football match before the end
Working up London, in this world of 21st century communications why do people still have to commute 40+ miles to sit behind a desk at a computer?
Joint accounts
T*ttenham
Wine bars
The smoking ban
High taxes
Politicians
Solar powered torches
Most of the programmes on television
Freedom of speech being ok for some and not for others
People at parties, wedddings, nightclubs, pubs etc who think they know better than the DJ
Bendy buses
Starbucks (coffee is coffee is coffee surely)
Pub quizzes
Meat raffles (part of old school pub stuff, but when a chicken that is worth say £3 is a prize why not just go over the co-op and buy one?)
And plenty more but I don't want to crash the site just yet
It's Sunday morning, anyone with any sense is either in bed, in the bath or on their way to the pub - so you won't crash it - well probably not
Anyway back to the list:
Soaps - Why?
The Barcode Brigade and their new messiah - Why??
Vanessa Feltz - Why?
Chris Moyles - Why?
Fuss surrounding that matchstick with a beehive - Why?
Having to own an SUV to take the kids 300 yds to school - Why?
Vanessa Feltz - again WHY????
This fuss over Chicken - free range or not - I don't care so long as it's covered in a nice cajun coating - mmmm
The search for pubs that use 'locally sourced' produce
Standing crammed in an all bar one/pitcher and piano spending a fortune in a souless place off your head on charlie to try and actually enjoy yourself
"I'm good"
"Can I GET..."?!?!?!
"And I was like..."
Well off people buying properties in complete shitholes like Hackney or Tottenham and living in them (sometimes bringing up kids)?!?!?!???!?
Being obsessed about the environment while umpteen trees get chopped down for the likes of thousands of Metros, London Paper and London Lite which all just get left around London in hundreds
Davina Macall
Freedom of speech being ok for some and not for others (Good one, Carter)
Arsenal 'fans'
Manchester United 'fans'
Newcastle United 'fans' (for different yet obvious reasons to the two above)
Privatised railway companies (and making trains more uncomfortable than 20 years ago)
Most contempoary (sp) bands starting with the word "The"
Gemma Atkinson
X-Factor
People who don't sing at The Valley and get arsey about people standing/showing passion but insist on sitting in the North Upper
Internet 'keyboard warriors' who crave respect from people they'll never meet - GROW UP! It means nothing!
Dinner Parties
Facebook (talk about gloryifing trivia and looking BACK not FORWARDS!)
People who put long lists of things that irk them on a football forum at half twelve on a Sunday afternoon ;-)
sorry mate i just can't watch it - my 11 year old absolutely loves it - i just can't get into it -
Where on earth did that come from? Drives me mental when people say that.
Can I add, two bob dickheads that think they are Del boy in pubs 'I can get you one of them'.......
smoking ban - how did a democratic society like ours approve that ??????? PS - i dont smoke !
jeans that end a foot on the floor - can't you just wear a pair that fits.
the valley "faithful" that turn up 5 mins late and leave 5 mins early.
people over 60 texting other over 60's
cyclists that ignore red lights as if they don't apply to them
cyclists that ride 2/3 abreast - esp "racers" on a weekend.
new sayings such as "carbon footprint" & "credit crunch" etc
trying to be eco-friendly - knowing that 50 billion Chinese care not one jot.
speed humps
Golf is a great game if you dont take it or yourself seriously, also a great way of meeting up with your mates and having a good drink on the nineteenth hole ;)
Carter, are you Carlton Cole?
oh yeah forgot that one GOLF pointless
What's wrong with that? It's a good excuse for a holiday.
Soccer AM.
Drinking coffee "on the go"
There's this couple that I see every morning at the station, always walking together with those stupid flask/mugs - it's the way they walk with these stupid cups, holding them by the handles, out in front of them - why??
* mobile phones on trains(why do they all talk bolloxx).
* South London Gooners
* IPods what the fook !
* Ipods turned up to high.
* Yoof wearing baseball caps back to front THE PEAK GOES TO THE FRONT U F**KIN NUMPTYS !!
* Jeans almost at half mast ? is that so when they get the kick in the bollox they deserve u miss ?
* "Human rights" for scum bags.
* "Human rights" Lawyers.
* Ken(the bombers friend) Livingston. Please not again !!
* PC Moralists.
* Sarf London gooners
* Reality Tv. Whose reality is it then ?
* Dr and Dr McCan
* Champagne Socialists
* South London Gooners.
* People who scream "racist" every few seconds but think its ok to say the "British" are lazy .
* Rich Gevaise (sic) a pissTake writing a pissTake who is now living life like the pissTake he wrote and starred in.
WTF is it with the fixation in Gervaise????? He's even less funny than that bloke that does Alan Partridge & I never thought I'd ever say that.
But the worst for me is straight geezers that a) don't like football & b) watch soaps.....................come on guys, admit it, you really are gay aren't you!
Hahaha I've been saying that for years!
"brave" kylie minogue
robbie effing williams
heroin
sudoku
24
footballers doing that stupid A symbol when they score
not offering bovril at football but instead offering espresso or latte (arsenal take note)
What is that all about? Baldie Johnson did it against Wigan today??