This topic has definitely encouraged interesting debate. For me any cheating is the lowest of the low, could never do it to anyone & I hope no-one ever does it to me.
[cite]Posted By: Rothko[/cite]Probably never really loved them, never wondered off in my last long term relationship, never tempted once, suppose love stops the biggest of tarts
is there no difference then in your book of someone getting hammered at the christmas party, or on a boys / girls holiday and making a mistake, and someone who is maintaining effectively two relationships at the same time ?
In my eyes, one is potentially forgiveable, the other isn't.
[cite]Posted By: Ketman[/cite]This topic has definitely encouraged interesting debate. For me any cheating is the lowest of the low, could never do it to anyone & I hope no-one ever does it to me.
[cite]Posted By: AFKA Bartram[/cite]is there no difference then in your book of someone getting hammered at the christmas party, or on a boys / girls holiday and making a mistake, and someone who is maintaining effectively two relationships at the same time ? In my eyes, one is potentially forgiveable, the other isn't.
Surely these are quite different scenarios?
As for what is forgiveable .... that is down to the relationship and individuals involved.
I see what you mean & yes I would agree there are several types of cheater, the serial one being the worst of all. I would concede that getting lagered up and then snogging someone at a weak moment is hardly a capital offence & probably not that bad. Getting lagered up & sleeping with someone even if it was a one off is pretty awful (perhaps not at the time) but in the cold light of day pretty low, my opinion obviously.
Getting drunk and making a 'mistake' - I reckon it's potentially forgivable, big problem would be building up the trust again - if it was me who'd been cheated on in that way then everytime she went out without me I'd be wondering if she was going to get drunk and make another 'mistake'. On the other hand I could see how it could happen - can't be many people who haven't got drunk and slept with someone they didn't really mean to (I've never done it whilst in a relationship mind!).
Cheating, knowing full well what you're doing isn't something you do to someone you love.
Mental fidelity's a reet complicated one. Where do you draw the line?!?! At least with physical it's pretty clear cut, you did or you didn't, nothing wrong with your girlfriend having male friends who she's close to but a real grey area as to when that's mental or I guess more to the point emotional cheating. Comes back to AFKA's point I reckon, it's all about individuals and their situations - really hard and generally unfair to make broadstroke judgments.
if you're totally hammered surely you'd be unable to perform anyway, and therefore incapable of doing anything?
i don't believe that you can use that as an excuse as the intent is probably there, as because unless you're unable to stand, you aren't "hammered" and therefore, perfectly in control of what you are doing and fully aware of the dirty deed you're going to commit.
for me it's about living with the consequences of your actions. even if you don't get caught. can you live with the knowledge of what you have done, or do you fes-up because you eventually feel so bad about what you've done. so there it is as someone once told me. if you can live with the consequences, you can do whatever you want in life.
[cite]Posted By: The Prince-e-Paul[/cite]for me it's about living with the consequences of your actions. even if you don't get caught. can you live with the knowledge of what you have done, or do you fes-up because you eventually feel so bad about what you've done. so there it is as someone once told me. if you can live with the consequences, you can do whatever you want in life.
surely thats a little selfish? if you can live with making someone miserable if they find out that you've gone behind their back thats ok? what about having a conscience?
surely thats like saying, 'you can do what you like as long as you look out for number one and don't give a rats arse for anyone else?'
Comments
well there you go!
In my eyes, one is potentially forgiveable, the other isn't.
but was in reply to your 'cheating is the lowest of the low comment'.
Personally I think AFKA hit it on the head as to whether its forgiveable or not.
Now what about mental fidelity?
Surely these are quite different scenarios?
As for what is forgiveable .... that is down to the relationship and individuals involved.
Getting drunk and making a 'mistake' - I reckon it's potentially forgivable, big problem would be building up the trust again - if it was me who'd been cheated on in that way then everytime she went out without me I'd be wondering if she was going to get drunk and make another 'mistake'. On the other hand I could see how it could happen - can't be many people who haven't got drunk and slept with someone they didn't really mean to (I've never done it whilst in a relationship mind!).
Cheating, knowing full well what you're doing isn't something you do to someone you love.
Mental fidelity's a reet complicated one. Where do you draw the line?!?! At least with physical it's pretty clear cut, you did or you didn't, nothing wrong with your girlfriend having male friends who she's close to but a real grey area as to when that's mental or I guess more to the point emotional cheating. Comes back to AFKA's point I reckon, it's all about individuals and their situations - really hard and generally unfair to make broadstroke judgments.
I just said it is a potentially forgiveable incident, compared to having an affair. But i also stressed that everyone's relationship is different.
i don't believe that you can use that as an excuse as the intent is probably there, as because unless you're unable to stand, you aren't "hammered" and therefore, perfectly in control of what you are doing and fully aware of the dirty deed you're going to commit.
thats an excellent comment
surely thats like saying, 'you can do what you like as long as you look out for number one and don't give a rats arse for anyone else?'
goodnight
hehe, it's the only free sport in London, so why the hell not.