I got asked on a round table thing like that to give my name and an interesting fact.
So I listened to a load of other idiots give their name and say something like "oh I love ironing" "I'm a black belt in origami"
It came round to me and I gave my name and the only thing I could think of was "I have the exact same size hands as the Yorkshire ripper"
Didn't get a laugh, got asked how I knew this so I said there was a waxwork of him in Luis Tussauds in Blackpool, got some shitarse tell me there wasn't, I told her there was as he was something of a celebrity in those parts, got asked to leave, thanked lucky stars, then got sent into another group where we all had to male up a song about our lives, lost will to live
I got asked on a round table thing like that to give my name and an interesting fact.
So I listened to a load of other idiots give their name and say something like "oh I love ironing" "I'm a black belt in origami"
It came round to me and I gave my name and the only thing I could think of was "I have the exact same size hands as the Yorkshire ripper"
Didn't get a laugh, got asked how I knew this so I said there was a waxwork of him in Luis Tussauds in Blackpool, got some shitarse tell me there wasn't, I told her there was as he was something of a celebrity in those parts, got asked to leave, thanked lucky stars, then got sent into another group where we all had to male up a song about our lives, lost will to live
I got asked on a round table thing like that to give my name and an interesting fact.
So I listened to a load of other idiots give their name and say something like "oh I love ironing" "I'm a black belt in origami"
It came round to me and I gave my name and the only thing I could think of was "I have the exact same size hands as the Yorkshire ripper"
Didn't get a laugh, got asked how I knew this so I said there was a waxwork of him in Luis Tussauds in Blackpool, got some shitarse tell me there wasn't, I told her there was as he was something of a celebrity in those parts, got asked to leave, thanked lucky stars, then got sent into another group where we all had to male up a song about our lives, lost will to live
About 5 years ago I had the misfortune to have an evening out with a an old girlfriend who I thought I may have a chance with again. She introduced me to this bloke (an old friend of hers from school) & no word of a lie he comes out with ........"Hi, I'm Mike and I'm a Paedophile". Funny ??? not.
I got asked on a round table thing like that to give my name and an interesting fact.
So I listened to a load of other idiots give their name and say something like "oh I love ironing" "I'm a black belt in origami"
It came round to me and I gave my name and the only thing I could think of was "I have the exact same size hands as the Yorkshire ripper"
Didn't get a laugh, got asked how I knew this so I said there was a waxwork of him in Luis Tussauds in Blackpool, got some shitarse tell me there wasn't, I told her there was as he was something of a celebrity in those parts, got asked to leave, thanked lucky stars, then got sent into another group where we all had to male up a song about our lives, lost will to live
I have a work team building day next week and i have to send them a photo of me in advance with an interesting fact about me and 3 things I'm passionate about.
I dont think alcohol, food and sleep are exactly what they're after but thats what they're getting.
I was saw a clip once of the classic team building exercise of being blindfolded and being told to fall and the others will catch you.
All was going well but the clip ends as phone/camera is dropped as the woman starts falling forwards instead of backwards and the bloke filming rushes to try and stop her face planting the floor.
All work trainings (manual handling, report writing, staff supervision, tongues tanning etc') whereby the first hour is taken by the bouncy presenter telling us the long list of wanks to come. And you sit there glazed eyes as your dream of early finish is buried under a pile of merciless butcher's papers.
All work trainings (manual handling, report writing, staff supervision, tongues tanning etc') whereby the first hour is taken by the bouncy presenter telling us the long list of wanks to come. And you sit there glazed eyes as your dream of early finish is buried under a pile of merciless butcher's papers.
In my job I have to sell to companies who provide this sort of stuff. So leadership, change, team building etc
GQ men. These are men that live their life according to what is advertised to them in GQ. Fashion, style, music taste, what they will do at the weekend. I know a few and I think to myself, why?
GQ men. These are men that live their life according to what is advertised to them in GQ. Fashion, style, music taste, what they will do at the weekend. I know a few and I think to myself, why?
I assume you are only mixing with them because you have to...
All work trainings (manual handling, report writing, staff supervision, tongues tanning etc') whereby the first hour is taken by the bouncy presenter telling us the long list of wanks to come. And you sit there glazed eyes as your dream of early finish is buried under a pile of merciless butcher's papers.
In my job I have to sell to companies who provide this sort of stuff. So leadership, change, team building etc
They're a special bunch to say the least
In that industry, are there more Fionas? or Amandas... (We have a right to know)...
london underground striking the same day as england play there last qualifier to get to russia, selfish cnuts the quicker driverless trains come in the better.
The term 'pre-owned'. We had at least three good workable ways of saying this before the marketing gurus decided that pre-owned somehow sounded better; as if the goods in question had just been sitting unused in someone's cupboard. Second-hand, used and old are all perfectly good terms. We don't need the duplicity of pre-owned. Whatever next, hitherto purchased?
The term 'pre-owned'. We had at least three good workable ways of saying this before the marketing gurus decided that pre-owned somehow sounded better; as if the goods in question had just been sitting unused in someone's cupboard. Second-hand, used and old are all perfectly good terms. We don't need the duplicity of pre-owned. Whatever next, hitherto purchased?
The term 'pre-owned'. We had at least three good workable ways of saying this before the marketing gurus decided that pre-owned somehow sounded better; as if the goods in question had just been sitting unused in someone's cupboard. Second-hand, used and old are all perfectly good terms. We don't need the duplicity of pre-owned. Whatever next, hitherto purchased?
Pre-loved is the one that gets me. Normally means "crappy condition"
People that want Dog Training because their dog has destroyed their house and then tell me they work 12 hours a day 6 days a week and every other Sunday!
salted caramel ??? Advert for a new Ben & Jerry's ice-cream and there is also a new Aero mouse that has this abomination in it. Who wants salt in their chocolate ?? Bloody Americans again.
Comments
No one cares.
'...and in 1999 I won £32,000.00 on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire'
Got one today ordered bottle of Sake, ended up with a 250ml bottle of Chinese Rice Vinegar.
Eh?
Not as bad as this guy's. Wanted Walnut Loaf,received whole Octopus.
So I listened to a load of other idiots give their name and say something like "oh I love ironing" "I'm a black belt in origami"
It came round to me and I gave my name and the only thing I could think of was "I have the exact same size hands as the Yorkshire ripper"
Didn't get a laugh, got asked how I knew this so I said there was a waxwork of him in Luis Tussauds in Blackpool, got some shitarse tell me there wasn't, I told her there was as he was something of a celebrity in those parts, got asked to leave, thanked lucky stars, then got sent into another group where we all had to male up a song about our lives, lost will to live
About 5 years ago I had the misfortune to have an evening out with a an old girlfriend who I thought I may have a chance with again. She introduced me to this bloke (an old friend of hers from school) & no word of a lie he comes out with ........"Hi, I'm Mike and I'm a Paedophile". Funny ??? not.
I dont think alcohol, food and sleep are exactly what they're after but thats what they're getting.
All was going well but the clip ends as phone/camera is dropped as the woman starts falling forwards instead of backwards and the bloke filming rushes to try and stop her face planting the floor.
And you sit there glazed eyes as your dream of early finish is buried under a pile of merciless butcher's papers.
They're a special bunch to say the least
(We have a right to know)...