[cite]Posted By: Nadou[/cite]I have no problem with feeling sympathy for families and friends of lost ones in the football world. But I do find it strange that so may people say "Oh, this puts it all into perspective" - as though for the rest of the time they totally forget that death and disease and loss is happening everwhere, every day, and that they need some kind of reminder.
Each to their own I think, I put one up almost a year ago regarding a good mate of mine who was killed whilst playing five a side.
Not really sure why I did, I wasn't after stirring up goulish interest for someone 99.99% of the posters on here had never met but felt it was a release at the time, the words I saw from others went a long way towards helping the grieving process I reckon.
I think I also did it on here because an awful lot of people who knew my mate went into 'OMG ZOMG I can't believe you're gone etc' overdrive on facebook and the local press and then didn't even attend his funeral which I found pretty disgusting, and on here my thoughts would be distanced from that and the advice of others would not be drowned out by crocadile tears.
Paying your respects via an internet forum is fine to me. Horses for courses
[cite]Posted By: Mortimerician[/cite]Typing RIP on some internet forum about someone you have no connection to or even hurling flowers at Jade Goody's hearse doesn't equate to feeling the wrenching agony of losing someone that you care for and is no more a sign of empathy or respect than having a moment's quiet thought on the subject - maybe it's less. I'd personally not participate in it and do not really find it particularly tasteful, but I can't see any harm in it all.
I'm with you on that one. I've always found 'RIP' to be quite disrespectful and you sum up perfectly why that is.
That's obviously not to say that I think people mean any disrespect, just that if that person's death meant something to you, a moment's quiet thought or perhaps even a few sentences of reflection are far more fitting than a three-letter abbreviation which in troves can bring a feeling of meaninglessness to a sad occassion.
The first year we did the scroll of those passed at the Valley my son went. He remained seated and the bloke behind him kicked him in the back told him to pay some f ing respect.
He replied that he didn't know any of the people so who was he showing respect to?
The bloke then called him and f ing c. Very respectful.
[cite]Posted By: Mark Curtis[/cite]Believe it or not but if any of Adam's family read this forum and see the CAFC fans showing respect i guarantee it will help them through this terrible time..to "iainment", you know that when a "RIP" is on a thread it is to do with a death so don't bother to read it :-)
No offence but how likely is that? If I lost a close family member I would find it quite macabre to trawl the internet to find out what people who had never met him, felt about his death.
[cite]Posted By: Mark Curtis[/cite]Believe it or not but if any of Adam's family read this forum and see the CAFC fans showing respect i guarantee it will help them through this terrible time..to "iainment", you know that when a "RIP" is on a thread it is to do with a death so don't bother to read it :-)
Which is why I posted separately to the RIP threads.
As I said before I don't want to offend but am just curious as to why this is done. Especially when the person has no discernable link to this site.
I believe that Mark is speaking from personal experience of how such a thread helped him.
I have been to many away game and been asked to stand and observe a minutes silence for a player or official I have not previously heard of. Of course I stand and remain silent and I would expect my son to do the same.
In the same way as an atheist I take off my hat in a church, my shoes in a mosque and cover my head in a synagogue.
Do those people have nothing to do with me? No, they are human beings. As BFR said right at the beginning of this thread.
No man is an island entire of itself; every man
is a piece of the continent, a part of the main;
if a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe
is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as
well as any manner of thy friends or of thine
own were; any man's death diminishes me,
because I am involved in mankind.
And therefore never send to know for whom
the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.
[cite]Posted By: Henry Irving[/cite]I believe that Mark is speaking from personal experience of how such a thread helped him.
I have been to many away game and been asked to stand and observe a minutes silence for a player or official I have not previously heard of. Of course I stand and remain silent and I would expect my son to do the same.
In the same way as an atheist I take off my hat in a church, my shoes in a mosque and cover my head in a synagogue.
Do those people have nothing to do with me? No, they are human beings. As BFR said right at the beginning of this thread.
No man is an island entire of itself; every man
is a piece of the continent, a part of the main;
if a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe
is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as
well as any manner of thy friends or of thine
own were; any man's death diminishes me,
because I am involved in mankind.
And therefore never send to know for whom
the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.
I take your point Henry and for myself I would stand. However, it is surely up to each individual to remember in the way that suits, it when we start expecting people to act the same way that this almost fake mourning takes place.
And that said I do think there is a certain irony about one person sitting and calming stating a reason and someone else f ing and blinding about respect.
It's not actually showing respect if it's compulsory. It's conformance.
Probably braver/more honest to take a stand (by not standing) than doing so because you feel you ought to, whether we might think that's the right thing to do or not, is a different thing.
[cite]Posted By: McLovin[/cite]It's not actually showing respect if it's compulsory. It's conformance.
Probably braver/more honest to take a stand (by not standing) than doing so because you feel you ought to, whether we might think that's the right thing to do or not, is a different thing.
Agree and if don't want to participate that is their right.
But no, I don't think it was the right thing to do. Showed a lack of understanding or consideration for others around him who may well have known some of the people or seen them play.
Comments
Rather, it puts football into perspective.
Not really sure why I did, I wasn't after stirring up goulish interest for someone 99.99% of the posters on here had never met but felt it was a release at the time, the words I saw from others went a long way towards helping the grieving process I reckon.
I think I also did it on here because an awful lot of people who knew my mate went into 'OMG ZOMG I can't believe you're gone etc' overdrive on facebook and the local press and then didn't even attend his funeral which I found pretty disgusting, and on here my thoughts would be distanced from that and the advice of others would not be drowned out by crocadile tears.
Paying your respects via an internet forum is fine to me. Horses for courses
I'm with you on that one. I've always found 'RIP' to be quite disrespectful and you sum up perfectly why that is.
That's obviously not to say that I think people mean any disrespect, just that if that person's death meant something to you, a moment's quiet thought or perhaps even a few sentences of reflection are far more fitting than a three-letter abbreviation which in troves can bring a feeling of meaninglessness to a sad occassion.
He replied that he didn't know any of the people so who was he showing respect to?
The bloke then called him and f ing c. Very respectful.
No offence but how likely is that? If I lost a close family member I would find it quite macabre to trawl the internet to find out what people who had never met him, felt about his death.
Which is why I posted separately to the RIP threads.
As I said before I don't want to offend but am just curious as to why this is done. Especially when the person has no discernable link to this site.
I have been to many away game and been asked to stand and observe a minutes silence for a player or official I have not previously heard of. Of course I stand and remain silent and I would expect my son to do the same.
In the same way as an atheist I take off my hat in a church, my shoes in a mosque and cover my head in a synagogue.
Do those people have nothing to do with me? No, they are human beings. As BFR said right at the beginning of this thread.
No man is an island entire of itself; every man
is a piece of the continent, a part of the main;
if a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe
is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as
well as any manner of thy friends or of thine
own were; any man's death diminishes me,
because I am involved in mankind.
And therefore never send to know for whom
the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.
I take your point Henry and for myself I would stand. However, it is surely up to each individual to remember in the way that suits, it when we start expecting people to act the same way that this almost fake mourning takes place.
And that said I do think there is a certain irony about one person sitting and calming stating a reason and someone else f ing and blinding about respect.
I still think your son claiming he wasn't going to observe the minutes applause as he didn't know any of the people was a very poor reason.
Probably braver/more honest to take a stand (by not standing) than doing so because you feel you ought to, whether we might think that's the right thing to do or not, is a different thing.
Agree and if don't want to participate that is their right.
But no, I don't think it was the right thing to do. Showed a lack of understanding or consideration for others around him who may well have known some of the people or seen them play.