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Chat up lines

I'm bored at work, and seeing as Ketman hasn't updated us on the other thread , I need another diversion.....

So, anyone wish to share their favourite chat-up lines/method of enticing past conquests?
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Comments

  • Do you work for DHL?

    Because I'm sure I saw you checking out my package!
  • Excuse me, do you have a fat penguin?

    no, why?

    looking for something to break the ice with!
  • Les Berry's Tash's opening gambit to the girl who eventually became his wife was to tell her that her spot concealer wasn't doing a very good job on the one on her chin.
  • [cite]Posted By: DaveMehmet[/cite]Les Berry's Tash's opening gambit to the girl who eventually became his wife was to tell her that her spot concealer wasn't doing a very good job on the one on her chin.

    now see that is funny. other corny allegedly chat up lines like the two above for example are shit.
  • I lick like a woman
  • should i call you in the morning or just poke you
  • i know. i dont need chat up lines, they come talk to me....

    brad-pitt.jpg
  • I may not be the best looking guy here, but I am the only one talking to you
  • Can I touch your breasts?
  • Does this smell like chloroform to you?
  • Sponsored links:


  • Me - do you want to dance love

    Girl - yea ok then

    Me - that's good cos I want to chat to your mate
  • "Relax, Rachel. You'll be fine."
  • Here's 50p, phone your mum, tell her you are not coming home tonight.
    I'm no Fred Flintstone, but I can make your Bedrock
  • Nice shoes. Wanna fuck?
  • dont use pick up lines, but put downs are much after anyway. if you see a lady who you have no intention of hooking up with, go up to her and say↲
    'id give you one↲
    she'll probably say something along the lines of↲
    'chauvanistic pig'↲
    at which point you can reply ↲
    'oh sorry i was rating you out of 10'
  • "Do you like chicken?

    Well suck my cock, it's fowl!"

    Works everytime.
  • Get talking to her mate.

    You're not trying to pull that one, so you're relaxed and you won't faff up.
    Then she'll introduce you to her friend, and it just flows effortlessly. See? Easy.

    If you run out of easy chat with your prime conquest and she's not that interesting after all, you've already broken the ice with her mate - so seemlessly transfer your attentions back to her.

    Just like girls always go to the loo together, if you're really lucky, you might go home with both of them.
  • @ Cafcdan18. Can you catch love. Cause there's a couple of balls coming your way.

    Max and paddy. Quality
  • i've used this one which suprisingly didnt get a slap

    'if your left leg was breakfast and your right lunch i'd eat between meals'

    dunno how i got away with it
  • [cite]Posted By: O-Randy-Hunt[/cite]Me - do you want to dance love

    Girl - yea ok then

    Me - that's good cos I want to chat to your mate

    that made me chuckle
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  • edited August 2010
    [cite]Posted By: johnnybev1987[/cite]i've used this one which suprisingly didnt get a slap

    'if your left leg was breakfast and your right lunch i'd eat between meals'

    dunno how i got away with it

    She was deaf?
  • edited August 2010
    [cite]Posted By: Plaaayer[/cite]She was deaf?

    lol no and i got her number aswell very suprising eh
  • [cite]Posted By: johnnybev1987[/cite]
    [cite]Posted By: Plaaayer[/cite]She was deaf?

    lol no and i got her number aswell very suprising eh

    And dumb?
  • Can I smell your fanny?

    No!!!

    It must be your feet then
  • [cite]Posted By: Dave Rudd[/cite]"Relax, Rachel. You'll be fine."



    v31vup.jpg
  • I;ve lost my phone numbers, can I have yours?
    You may not be the best looking bird here, but beauty is only a lightswitch away.
  • [cite]Posted By: petetheaddick[/cite]Can I smell your fanny?

    No!!!

    It must be your feet then

    hahahahahaha
  • "you dont sweat much for a fat bird"
  • You're great!
  • [cite]Posted By: NathanPrior[/cite]You're great!

    Yeah, if you're chatting up Tony the tiger.
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