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10.5 Things You Never Knew About Dagenham

1. The UK's first tanning saloon opened in the town in 1911 to serve the staff at the nearby Vauxhall car plant. There are now more tanning centres per capita in Dagenham than any other place in the UK. Averaging out at 1.8 sunbeds for every person, the town is famous for the excessively orange appearance of its many teenaged mothers.

2.Due in no small part to point 1. above, failed football club boss Simon Jordan is now believed to be living in a 3 bed semi just around the back of Beacontree Heath station.


  • edited September 2010
    3. The old village of Dagenham got its name when the local farmer stabbed the prized pig belonging to the farmer in the next village and sprayed his blood everywhere. The farmer than refused him access and painted the bridge connecting the area red in memory of the pig's blood. Both area are now combined as Dagenham and Redbridge.
  • edited September 2010
    3. Daggers legend Lee Goodwin has a testimonial game v West Ham on October 11th

    5. The aforementioned Vauxall Car works were the life blood of Dagenham for many years. To this day it is dangerous to drive down the Heathway in any other type of car after dark. Rumours of stoning Honda's and overturning Fords have reported.

    6. Dagenham and Redbridge are the final result of many mergers of non-league sides including Ilford, Leytonstone, Walthamstowe Avenue, Accrington Stanley, Thames Ironworks, Redbridge Forest and Gidia Park.
  • edited September 2010
    7. As part of an initiative for the police to engage with the local youth, the D+R police are issued with trousers two sizes too big so they can effect the baggy look with their boxer shorts showing 6 inches above their waistband.
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    8. Dagenham like Port Vale doesn't actually exist ....
  • 8. According to the latest Police figures, 87% of Dagenham residents are under an ASBO.
  • [cite]Posted By: nichorob[/cite]8. According to the latest Police figures, 87% of Dagenham residents are under an ASBO.

    whilst the other 13% prefer going on top.
  • 9.There is a white stilleto and handback shop at each corner of the ground.

    10. Faces have opened a nightclub underneath the main stand called Dagger Face due to the amount of pig ugly women in Essex
  • edited September 2010
    11. Dagenham and Redbridge finally became recognised as a London borough after the country of Essex campaigned for over one hundred years to have the boundaries re-drawn.
  • 12. Dagenham recently creamed a big wedge off a fellow L1 team in exchange for a cigarette.
  • The Dagenham and Redbridge latin motto is......"Totus sicco frater".....which translated means "All out Brothers" which was later adopted by the car workers and was often used at pay negotiations.
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  • 14. Dagenham and Redbridge FC all drive vauxhall motor cars in a stance aginst the Ford motor companies robbery of Ford and Visteon pension money.

    15. John Still has been protesting outside the main ford motor dealership for the last 12 months in support for those affected by the theft
  • edited September 2010
    16. !n 1961 the 5th.form of the Gravesend Technical School for Boys was taken on a day trip to Dagenham to have a tour of a car plant that was in that area in the hope of turning the boy's away from a life of criminality and to spend their adult life standing by a conveyor belt, tightening nuts on manifolds. Various acts of sabotage were carried out which eventually led to the demise of the plant. Especially succesful was the shout of 'Everybody Out' whereupon all the workers downed tools and walked out. This became a works tradition and was repeated at regular intervals for many years. Mayhem ensued on the coach back to Gravesend for which some of the students received floggings, but it was a day to remember. Needless to say, no more works tours were held!
  • 17. dagenham is the only football ground that has a full time sexual health nurse in each stand due to the amount of sexual activity that takes place at every home game when the essex girls meet new meat in the pubs around the ground.

    18. It was rumoured that the music at halftime and before the game at the Daggers ground was going to be suspended due to the amount of ankle injuries sustained after people kept falling over the female fans handbags
  • edited September 2010
    19. Until 1994 Dagenham Market was home to the World making a fart noise with your armpit championships. The annual contest moved to Seville following a boardroom coup at the governing body following a sex scandal involving the chairman and the current champs wife.
  • 19.Q: Why is an dagenham girl like a turtle ?

    A: They both get f****d up when they're on their back.
  • A recent government report on STD's points out that it is safer to use a brothel than go out with a girl from Dagenham.
  • edited September 2010
    Although he was born in Shropshire, Charles Darwin spent most of his childhood in Dagenham...but he was later forced to leave his beloved town so that he could find enough evidence for his theories on evolution.

    He is also the only known explorer to sail to Australia on a dog!
  • Apart from a few others, Dagenham and Redbridge are the only two English football clubs with letter 'G' in their name...
  • 22. Thanks to recent upgrading of facilities in Barking Creek, Dagenham is seeing an increasing number of cruise liners calling in whilst on route to much better places. Local attractions include Europes largest Primark, a JD Sports and the Ripple Road Pitbull Sanctuary. Recent visitor, Hank Squirrel of Iowa commented, "We just love your Dagenham, it reminds us so much of our home back in Butteplug, USA and the locals are just so very cute."
  • 23. Clubs with ampersands in their names have averaged 0.31 points per game less in all league fixtures since the war than clubs without ampersands in their names.
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  • 24. There is a bird in my office my Dagenham, she's a right dirt bag!
  • [cite]Posted By: Plaaayer[/cite]24. There is a bird in my office my Dagenham, she's a right dirt bag!

    I might know her ;-)
  • There are some really nice bits of nham.
  • 25. The average number of legs per adult human in Dagenham is just less than two.
  • [cite]Posted By: charltonkeston[/cite]There are some really nice bits of nham.

    C'mon play the game. Or are you being serious 'cos I never noticed them when I was working there???
  • [quote][cite]Posted By: Bournemouth Addick[/cite][quote][cite]Posted By: charltonkeston[/cite]There are some really nice bits of nham.[/quote]

    C'mon play the game. Or are you being[i]serious[/i]'cos I never noticed them when I was working there???[/quote]

    I used to have to go to the Ford plant many times a month and try to get them to do some work some work on press tooling. A hopeless task.
    I hate the place more than Croydon.

    I was offered a job there a few years back but there was no way in the world a chance of me taking it.
  • edited September 2010
    26. With the gold prices currently at an all time high, the net worth of Dagenham is in fact just below that of Belgravia.

    Regrettably the towns wealth mostly resides in large hooped earrings, sovereign rings and clown pendants. Local residents have been unable to take advantage of the unusual situation ever since Cash Convertors pulled out, claiming Dagenham was just too down market for their business model.
  • At 1205 St Peters church was the first to be built in the area
    Shortly after lunch however it was in the same shyte state as the rest of the place
  • Within Dagenham's upper class society, Southend is pronounced "abroad"
  • The good people of Dagenham presented the Mayor of New York with a scale model of the Dagenham Town Hall made out of Chedder Cheese. This was to mark the 150th anniversary of something that they have all forgotten.
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