Pretty damn close actually. Driving at about 80 MPH on M4 a few years back. A large piece of metal about size and shape of an axe head came through my windscreen and wedged in slope of dashboard. If it had bounced about 2 inches higher it would have taken my head off. Wife and daughter in car at time. I was shaking for a week.
Woke up once to a strange sort of bumping clicking noise. Turns out I was doing 80mph in the outside lane of the M5, had fallen asleep and was going over the chevrons. My wife, 8 months pregnant, was asleep in the passenger seat.
was pretty close as a baby, had Pyloricstenosis and wouldn't have lasted the night without an op.
Was once knocked over by a Bus outside Chatham Station, just got up and carried on running for the train. Didn't really hit me till later that I could have been killed.
Then there was this one... I had some teeth extracted under gas when I was about eight. Years later I told a retired dentist about the weird dream I'd had. She told me it was almost certainly a near-death experience!
Being pulled up into the sky by a ring around a finger; first it was Jesus pulling me then, as I got higher, it was God. The ring was getting hotter and hotter…. Red hot when Jesus was pulling then white hot when I was higher up with God on the other end. I was soon in orbit looking down on Earth then felt a sudden release and I started floating down. I landed on the coal tender of a steam train and there was an old hag looking down on me, she turned into the young dental assistant as I regained consciousness. <?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />
Been lucky so far (am going around Europe on a coach later this month so don't want to tempt fate). Closest probably when I was a baby as was 5 weeks premature and had jaundice (sp), was in the hospital for a while.
Came across to the traffic lights in Albion Road, Bexleyheath, the traffic light goes red, and the 'green man' appears, halfway across the road, i notice that a Silver Golf is approaching very fast, so i stop halfway and the car just zooms past probably about 50/60 miles an hour, the bloke in the other car in the other lane just looked shell shocked at the speed the car was doing, and how he jumped a red light, i couldn't believe it!
1973 in Spain --Franco was till about i think and you couldnt go on the beach at night(theFacists thought we was nicking the sand) i was with this lady watching the moon(like chuff i was) when i was aware of the copper walking towards us (was about 2 in the morning) i told her to get up.(off) This copper stops--takes his rifle off his shoulder and cocks it pointing right at me --then walks forward till its about two feet from me head !! big ugly black thing (the rifle), She screams drops to her feet crying-- i just stand there. so he clumps me once with the rifle i pick her up and off we go back to hotel. I didnt move not an inch when hepointed at me nut----truely i thought it was all over that phrase "rooted to the spot" now i knew what it meant i was petrified.Not actually a near death thingy but if he had pulled the trigger it might had nipped a bit from two feet.
Although I've had 3 car crashes (including one in Turkey where I rolled a car 70 foot off a cliff in to a valley), and been on 2 sinking boats that had to turn around and get back to land, I remember being the most scared during a little walk one day in Indonesia where somehow I got completely stuck in this little ravine. I decided that the best way to get out would not be to retrace my steps but to go directly upwards. Halfway up I realised that the gradient was so steep that I had to hang on to trees growing outwards. I was kind of edging myself along and upwards grabbing on to one tree and then the next. I don't like heights so I really thought I was going to kill myself. One of the boats (in Malaysia) was my 2nd worst experience because the seats actually came loose from their joints and we were all sliding around the deck as the boat rolled over.
Funnily enough, like Large (my brother) I also got knocked down in the road outside Chatham station. I was on my bike and a car pulled out. I slid over the bonnet into the other side of the road but fortunately nothing was coming. I didn't know until now that my brother has also tried this tarmac out.
Chocked on me coquvin when I saw we were signing Hollands, Pritchard, Barcham and Pope. Just couldn't believe it, come on you addicks, when the red red robin comes la la la la la
Just a few near misses for me - When I was about 10, crossing the road on the zebra crossing outside New Eltham station.....thought it was clear.... next thing I heard was sounding of horns and a car swerving to miss me.....thought it best if I just run off!! Cutting grass at home about 30 years ago.....using a flymo and run over the bloody electric lead....the 'live' end went into the air and came down on my arm....got electricuted....but survived after being taken to hospital. Finally just two years ago on a flight from Miami to Lima for work.....plane lost use of one engine (fuel leak)....made an emergency landing at Montego Bay...stewardess sitting opposite me started doing the catholic crossing yourself thing......I shit myself. (not literally)......as we landed the plane was followed by fire engines and emergency vehicles. The end of that story is so unbeliveable but true.....as the plane came to a halt and was surrounded by emergency vehicles.... we sat there as the pilot came on the tannoy and said as we did not have a landing pass the Montego Bay authorities will not let us leave the plane, which was still losing fuel!!! We had to sit there for 90 minutes while the only mechanic available came to fix the engine. From my vantage point I could see him...he arrived in a clapped out old landrover.....with a cigarette on the go....stood looking at the engine....got a set of ladders and went up to 'fiddle' with the engine.....came back down....drove off...came back about 15 mins later...went back up the bloody ladder....minus the lit cigarette....and hey presto the engined was 'fixed'....after we took off I watched that engine like a hawk for the rest of the 3 hour flight!!! Never flying to Lima again I tell you!!!
Had just got off a bus and was walking along Anchor and Hope Lane about 25 years ago with a mate when a lorry came and tipped over on it`s side and landed on the pavement approx 15 metres behind us. If we had been a fraction of a minute later getting off the bus we would have both been dead!
For the those who haven't been to Canberra you need to know two things.
1. Canberra is the world's dullest city, there is nothing to do there. 2. Despite being a new city everything is far away.
Baring in mind the above two points we decided to go to cycle to a flower show, that's how little there was to do. I didn't have a bike so manage to steel a folding bike that looked like something out of the 1960s.
On the way there I managed to get in front of the group but missed a turning and ended up going down a very step hill instead of through an underpass. I tried to stop the bike but found out that it had no breaks. I then tried to use my feet to slow it down but this didn't work due to the steepness of the hill. I had no control of the bike which was picking up quite a decent speed and at the end of the hill there was a road which had a couple of cars going past. Moments like this it's amazing how clear you think. I weight up my options, jump off the bike? This was no good as I would end up sliding down the hill and perhaps in to a car. If there were no cars on the road the bike would hit a curb and due to the small size of its wheels it wouldn't go over the curb, due to the weight of the bike I wouldn't be able to bunny hop over the curb so would have to jump just before the curb. However, if a car was on the road I would need to jump before hitting the car as it may increase my chance of survival, if there were a few cars I was dead what ever I did.
Nervously I kept an eye on the road whilst in the eject position, pedals in a netrual position, knees bend. Luckily there was only one car and I was going to make the curb before it got me so i managed to jump off a split second before hitting the curb. I did this and landed on my feet before rolling over and the bike did a sextuple backflip and landed in two pieces. The car drove past with the look of shock on their faces as I casually waved at them. I managed to put the bike together, although the screw at gone to who knows where so it kept trying to fold itself in two, took several deep breaths to try and calm down from the adrenaline rush. I found my mates who wonder where I was. When I asked no one of them had seen what happened or witnessed the near perfect dismount. We went to the flower show, which was shit and most of the flowers were dead.
On the way to an away game in the early nineties, on the M11 just past the M25 turn off. I overtook a coach which then decided to overtake the vehicle in front, as it veered out, I veered towards the central reservation to avoid and just happened to be adjacent to a a section where they had laid some tarmac when a carriageway had been closed for roadworks. Completed the overtaking manouvre and got back on the motorway just before the tarmac ran out...
Had various motorcycle crash, bang, wallops over the years which probably should have done for me but didn't so I suppose last year's strokes and ticker trouble are top of the list now. The scans of what was going on (which I saw much later) were frightening though ,of course, the family put my getting away with it down to there not being much up there to damage anyway.
Funnily enough, like Large (my brother) I also got knocked down in the road outside Chatham station. I was on my bike and a car pulled out. I slid over the bonnet into the other side of the road but fortunately nothing was coming. I didn't know until now that my brother has also tried this tarmac out.
For me, it was probably being five years old and getting into my room after a bath. The lamp didn't work so I stuck my wet finger in to see if the bulb was missing. I'm sure the resulting shock wasn't that big a deal, but my memory is not dissimilar to the bit in Back to The Future when Marty strums the guitar in front of the giant speaker.
I can't figure out if JimmyMelrose is the luckiest or unluckiest man alive. FriendOrDefoe - what a manoeuvre!! I was picturing Chevy Chase in Lampoon's Christmas Vacation for much of that.
Comments
Woke up once to a strange sort of bumping clicking noise. Turns out I was doing 80mph in the outside lane of the M5, had fallen asleep and was going over the chevrons. My wife, 8 months pregnant, was asleep in the passenger seat.
Still shudder about it now.
Then there was this one... I had some teeth extracted under gas when I was about eight. Years later I told a retired dentist about the weird dream I'd had. She told me it was almost certainly a near-death experience!
Being pulled up into the sky by a ring around a finger; first it was Jesus pulling me then, as I got higher, it was God. The ring was getting hotter and hotter…. Red hot when Jesus was pulling then white hot when I was higher up with God on the other end. I was soon in orbit looking down on Earth then felt a sudden release and I started floating down. I landed on the coal tender of a steam train and there was an old hag looking down on me, she turned into the young dental assistant as I regained consciousness. <?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />
Been lucky so far (am going around Europe on a coach later this month so don't want to tempt fate). Closest probably when I was a baby as was 5 weeks premature and had jaundice (sp), was in the hospital for a while.
1973 in Spain --Franco was till about i think and you couldnt go on the beach at night(theFacists thought we was nicking the sand) i was with this lady watching the moon(like chuff i was) when i was aware of the copper walking towards us (was about 2 in the morning) i told her to get up.(off) This copper stops--takes his rifle off his shoulder and cocks it pointing right at me --then walks forward till its about two feet from me head !! big ugly black thing (the rifle), She screams drops to her feet crying-- i just stand there. so he clumps me once with the rifle i pick her up and off we go back to hotel. I didnt move not an inch when hepointed at me nut----truely i thought it was all over that phrase "rooted to the spot" now i knew what it meant i was petrified.Not actually a near death thingy but if he had pulled the trigger it might had nipped a bit from two feet.
Funnily enough, like Large (my brother) I also got knocked down in the road outside Chatham station. I was on my bike and a car pulled out. I slid over the bonnet into the other side of the road but fortunately nothing was coming. I didn't know until now that my brother has also tried this tarmac out.
Oh, and my flat burned down but we got out OK.
When I was about 10, crossing the road on the zebra crossing outside New Eltham station.....thought it was clear.... next thing I heard was sounding of horns and a car swerving to miss me.....thought it best if I just run off!!
Cutting grass at home about 30 years ago.....using a flymo and run over the bloody electric lead....the 'live' end went into the air and came down on my arm....got electricuted....but survived after being taken to hospital.
Finally just two years ago on a flight from Miami to Lima for work.....plane lost use of one engine (fuel leak)....made an emergency landing at Montego Bay...stewardess sitting opposite me started doing the catholic crossing yourself thing......I shit myself. (not literally)......as we landed the plane was followed by fire engines and emergency vehicles.
The end of that story is so unbeliveable but true.....as the plane came to a halt and was surrounded by emergency vehicles.... we sat there as the pilot came on the tannoy and said as we did not have a landing pass the Montego Bay authorities will not let us leave the plane, which was still losing fuel!!! We had to sit there for 90 minutes while the only mechanic available came to fix the engine. From my vantage point I could see him...he arrived in a clapped out old landrover.....with a cigarette on the go....stood looking at the engine....got a set of ladders and went up to 'fiddle' with the engine.....came back down....drove off...came back about 15 mins later...went back up the bloody ladder....minus the lit cigarette....and hey presto the engined was 'fixed'....after we took off I watched that engine like a hawk for the rest of the 3 hour flight!!! Never flying to Lima again I tell you!!!
1. Canberra is the world's dullest city, there is nothing to do there.
2. Despite being a new city everything is far away.
Baring in mind the above two points we decided to go to cycle to a flower show, that's how little there was to do. I didn't have a bike so manage to steel a folding bike that looked like something out of the 1960s.
On the way there I managed to get in front of the group but missed a turning and ended up going down a very step hill instead of through an underpass. I tried to stop the bike but found out that it had no breaks. I then tried to use my feet to slow it down but this didn't work due to the steepness of the hill. I had no control of the bike which was picking up quite a decent speed and at the end of the hill there was a road which had a couple of cars going past. Moments like this it's amazing how clear you think. I weight up my options, jump off the bike? This was no good as I would end up sliding down the hill and perhaps in to a car. If there were no cars on the road the bike would hit a curb and due to the small size of its wheels it wouldn't go over the curb, due to the weight of the bike I wouldn't be able to bunny hop over the curb so would have to jump just before the curb. However, if a car was on the road I would need to jump before hitting the car as it may increase my chance of survival, if there were a few cars I was dead what ever I did.
Nervously I kept an eye on the road whilst in the eject position, pedals in a netrual position, knees bend. Luckily there was only one car and I was going to make the curb before it got me so i managed to jump off a split second before hitting the curb. I did this and landed on my feet before rolling over and the bike did a sextuple backflip and landed in two pieces. The car drove past with the look of shock on their faces as I casually waved at them. I managed to put the bike together, although the screw at gone to who knows where so it kept trying to fold itself in two, took several deep breaths to try and calm down from the adrenaline rush. I found my mates who wonder where I was. When I asked no one of them had seen what happened or witnessed the near perfect dismount. We went to the flower show, which was shit and most of the flowers were dead.
road outside Chatham station. I was on my bike and a car pulled out. I
slid over the bonnet into the other side of the road but fortunately
nothing was coming. I didn't know until now that my brother has also
tried this tarmac out.
Your poor mother..........
after a bath. The lamp didn't work so I stuck my wet finger in to see
if the bulb was missing. I'm sure the resulting shock wasn't that big a
deal, but my memory is not dissimilar to the bit in Back to The Future when Marty strums the guitar in front of the giant speaker.
I can't figure out if JimmyMelrose is the luckiest or unluckiest man alive. FriendOrDefoe - what a manoeuvre!! I was picturing Chevy Chase in Lampoon's Christmas Vacation for much of that.