It depends on the situation but in all cases it's important to not hang round with people who get you down, eat healthy, don't binge drink, exercise, and don't watch too much television.
This will surprise you all...........................Get yourself a dog!!
Long walks, just you and your dog nothing else matters and he'll listen to all your woes. Mind you if mine could talk, I'd be Divorced & sacked by the end of the week. ; )
Going back a few years now but at one point I'd started a new job, became a Dad, bought a new house and was planning a wedding all at the same time. I'd always been strong mentally and physically but my body just couldnt cope and I had a break-down of sorts, where I kept having panic attacks. The wife-to be (as she was then) gave me sweet FA support and told me to pull myself together, forced me to go to the GP who immediately put me in Prozac. Within 48 hours, I turned suicidal. I was driving down the A2 at speed just wanting to drive into the central reservation. The thought of my 6 month old daughter was the only thing that stopped me from doing so.
Havent taken a Prozac since that episode where I pulled over into the hard shoulder and cried my eyes out for about 30 mins. My employer was understanding, sent me to a councellor and whatever I needed to get off my chest I did as I was feeling back to my normal self a week or so later and I've not gone back to that dark place since.
I've had real dark days since; my marriage failed, I feel almost contstant pain at not being able to see my daughter as much as I like, I've watched helpless as my bi-polar suffering brother has been in hospital, I'm under constant pressure at work...so real dark days where you're at your wits end and you feel the end of the world is nigh but I've come out the other side.
I'm still physically and mentally as strong as an ox but you really need to help yourself:
1) Stay fit: Easier said that done but its important. Cut down on the booze, cut out the crap from your diet, lead a healthier lifestyle. Yes it takes some effort at the start but you soon start seeing the benefits. Exercise is really important.
2) Keep yourself occupied: take my weekend just gone for example. It was the weekend I didnt have my daughter so I knew I had to keep busy otherwise I'd start thinking too much if I just sat about my flat. I done my housework, I done some gardening, done some DIY, cleaned my bike...had a few friends over to watch the Boxing with me in the evening...then spent nearly all day Sunday out cycling with my club. Everyone must have a million and one things they want to do with their spare time. Maybe consider some volunteering work?
3) Talk and get things off your chest: so imporant. Friends and family are important. Ok, the old phrase "a problem shared is a problem halved" is going a little OTT, but sharing whats on your mind will help you as well as your friends & family to understand.
All 3 are inter-related. Keep yourself occupied with exercise, go and socialise with people and you can get stuff off your chest. It's all a huge help.
Start looking after yourself properly and it pays dividends.
Simple, but true and medically proven. It is worth recognising the difference between feeling low and depression by the way. The latter is an illness and needs help with, sooner than later too.
Oggy's tip about helping others really is a cracker.
The other tips about getting out (get in touch with nature a bit) and getting exercise are also proven techniques. What Colin Tat says about meditation is worth considering as well - it has worked very well for many people. Positive thinking is very important too - remember, you will be alright. Don't listen to that nagging doubt that says that you won't. You will. You will have been through some awful times before, but you got through them - you always do; and you will get through this just the same. Have faith in yourself and be proud of your grit and tenacity.
I'd be a bit careful about popping pills from the health shop, though. 5HT supplements have been known to cause a condition called eosinophilia myalgia - which is either down to impurities produced during it's manufacture, or problems with tryptamine metabolism. It is often a reflex reaction to reach for the pills, but the techniques mentioned above have all been shown to have positive results for various people and often reflect the fact that it is real lifestyle change that is what is needed as it may simply be your way of life that is making you ill.
Anyway, remember that the best advice you will get is from healthcare professionals who know your condition very well (it is very common after all), so your first stop should maybe be your GP. If you have a good one of them, it really helps; not least if they are prepared to talk to you and just listen.
Some things in life are beyond your control and its how you deal with those things thats important. Sometimes life can be a right bitch so you've always gotta expect the worse.
Chuffed with some of the advice given, some of the stories given bring home how life can go anyway at anytime. I guess for me personally I've been one of them guys who show not much emotion and find it hard to talk about the way I'm feeling, I don't have many friends as I'm quite a closed book and find letting people in hard.
Some days I'm low, with the job I do, I see a side of life that not many people care to accept and shift work makes relationships difficult so overall its not as easy as someone who does a 9-5 in a office Monday to friday.
I play football once a week, and get down the gym once a week aswell but the points about having to much time to dwell on things when your alone is 100% right. I guess live wouldn't be life if it was all one big happy journey....
"That is fantastic advice, help someone else and ride the wave of positivity it brings. Easy way to feel good about yourself" Thank you, cfgs.
And the best part is, when somebody really appreciates what you've done by helping them (or better still doing something together with them)-they make you feel truly valued.
I totally agree with this. When my marriage broke down 4 years ago i had the rug well and truelly pulled from under me. my partner of 18 years just turned round to me and said it's over, i'm seeing someone else, but if i wasn't i still wouldn't want you! i was asked to go quietly without a fuss. i left my home, two kids, dog, car and everything i'd spent my life building up. for a change i had to take my own medicine so to speak. i work in acute psychiatry and deal with suicidal people every day of the year (even Christmas day), so i knew that if i can tell other people how to get better, i sure as hell better know how to look after myself. i threw myself into my work / patients and never missed a day. i recognized that i needed them to keep me grounded. 4 years have passed and im in a relationship with someone fantastic. she would do anything for me (within reason) and i can honestly say that i am happier than i was. i believe that knowing how people really feel when the shit hit has the fan, has given me the humility and understanding to really help others. now when i sit with someone that is suicidal and they say 'like you really care' i can look them strait in the eye and they know i mean it when i say i do. the hardest lessons in life are the ones we dont want to have to learn, but they make us wiser and passing that on to others is the best feeling you can have. i've always been proud to say i'm a Charlton fan and reading some of the comments above i'm equally proud to say i'm a lifer. regards to all those having tough times.
For any of you that are a bit confused by all the advice try reading the Serenity Prayer. for the atheists among us just take out the word god, lol.
If you don't have dependents, why not make a life changing decision - and change your life completely; a new experience in a new place, with new people, doing something very different.
Get involved with an organisation that arranges voluntary work, either here in the UK or in Africa, Europe, Asia, South America, etc It needn't be forever, perhaps 6 months or a year - they'll feed you, house you, pay essential costs and give you pocket money.
You'll be in a situation away from home, involved with new people ..... either helping them or working alongside. Life time friendships can be made - but anyway, it could be an experience that changes your whole way of thinking.
And a stepping stone to the next opportunity, whatever or wherever that may be.
You'll be a re-newed person. Remember, change stimulates us and makes us come alive. And we begin to discover what we are capable of - and who we really are.
Sorry to hear that NLA. As we all know but don't always do... make sure you talk to someone about it.
I totally agree with what you say Fanny, I'm not against pills, just people have to be aware that they are certainly not right for everyone. If they don't work for you, like JohnBoy, then little strategies are an even bigger god send and don't be afraid to stop taking them if your head pulses with negative-manic-thoughts.
I ain't the best guy around at getting my arse off the sofa sometimes, but boy it makes a difference if I can get a strategy to get me out the house. Pretty much like JohnBoy, cycling's my thing, if I ride three times a week I know I'll be pretty balanced emotionally. Sure my failings still annoy me, but I don't dwell on them too much. S'pose it's just a different hit of serotonin.
Sorry from me too NLA. Hope things brighten up tomorrow. Find someone to talk to. if it's a stranger, even better. i was once told that there is no such thing as strangers. only friends you havent met yet.
I am touched at the directness of the advice and no little personal admission by the masses on this thread, no silly forum banter, really quite touched, what a good bunch of people you are.
I have been through the wringer on the subject at hand, no worse of better than anyone else, each persons experience is bad enough, comparing like for like is futile, but there is a lot of comfort in realizing that you are not alone, that is for sure.
The advice on here is sound, pills are not evil, nor are they the answer to all ills, exercise without doubt is positive, as is what you put in your mouth. All that said let me make one thing clear, there is no one magic cure, you didn't get to where you are because of one thing or one incident or one experience, it crept up on you....
Therefore there is no magic wand, combos are the answer, live well, eat well, go for a run/walk, help someone, but please, don't think its all about doing one thing that will unlock it all. Over time you will get better, but a few pints and a dog burger one night are not gonna send you to the bottom of the black pit, just don't do it all the time, that really is the point. go outside, its nice, and will make you feel better
Stop comparing, stop measuring, if you like walking and it don't feel as good as it used to, that doesn't matter. You are still walking. This is good.
Not comfortable around your friends as you used to be? This doesn't matter, they are you friends, they don't expect anything of you, enjoy their company, even if it is less than "normal"
All of the above helped me.
Finally, check out Glasgow steps, google it, it is very good. Its not the only aide, but its a good one and has helped me.
Exercise for me is the best way to try and keep the 'lows' at bay. I work 12 hour shifts and have 3 hours travelling on top of that and don't have time to train at work. After my four or five day stint I'm raring to do some exercise after the stresses of work. For me karate and kick boxing is a real stress reliever and escape from life's worries. I also go running and as T.C.E says walking the dog in the countryside or on the beach is another escape.
Mine all work related went for a good walk last night just to get some clear thoughts and the blood pumping, got soaked through and looked a bit of abu loon but reinvigerated and found a few solutions, was back on the good old m25 at 5am ready and rating to go
Personally think everyone has "Black Dog" moments in their lives, just that some people are more Optimistic than others. I know for a fact that I'm one of lifes Pessimists, and supporting CAFC and KCCC doesn't really Help my outlook on life; Not being flippant at-all, but I'm sure I was "Happier" in the early 2000's, Though I'm sure some would disagree.
(And a quick Thank You to everyone who has contacted Me/Sent Best Wishes Ref: My Mum: She's "Comfortable" and having full scan this morning).
I get down all the time and everyday is pretty much "a fight".
That's the beauty of life's challenge though.
Everyone has such a variation of problems from all different backgrounds and possible mental difficulties.... some cope a bit better then others with certain types of things and vise versa.
Things that are not exactly textbook but just things I have learnt along my way:
1. Identify the problem ....WHY do I feel this way. (You may have to go deep in your mind)
2. Even if it hurts at 1st....be as realistic as possible about anything and everything. The end result will feel like a breath of fresh air that you can build upon. You maybe repressing something you hate. Let it out its cage and deal with it. (Depending on what it is)
3. If us humans never had negative emotions or thoughts then life would be pretty dam easy or a lot easier. The only thing stopping you is you and your self criticisms...the way you look at yourself.
It's just a feeling and does not reflect reality. Just to make you aware. Pride is important but if your self expectations are not met...then it may get you down. Your probably better then what you think you are. It needs to be acknowledged by yourself.
4. Find the time to start doing good excersise. It's not going to fix you but it will certainly help lift your mood to take more positive action. A catalyst.
5. Tidy your house. Go absolutely insane making your house or place you occupy, spotless and or more organised. Get rid of old shit.
6. dont be embarrassed or cautious about seeing a therapist. You are the most important person, because when you are fixed and happy...you can help your family and friends out more.....or they will appreciate you more.
7. FORGIVE YOURSELF. The pressures on, as always, but do yourself a favour and remind yourself you are a human that may have made mistakes but you can fix them.
Your probably going through certain stuff that I won't understand.
Because you don't feel great now...doesn't mean you won't feel better tomorrow.
Suffered from depression myself a while back. Three things I found useful in battling it have been mentioned already but I think they are crucial: Exercise - doesn't even have to be anything intense. A good long walk still counts. Just get moving, it's amazing how quickly you'll start feeling better after some regular exercise. Eat well - I'm sure we've all felt that we need a blowout, either some greasy food or getting on the booze. Whilst I think short term and every now and then it can help the important thing is to make sure it isn't the norm. Meditation - I was always dubious about this but was lucky to spend time at a Buddhist temple in Japan. Really was eye opening and I'd recommend everyone to give it a go. After a few months I found myself calmer and more willing to just roll with whatever came my way.
I think everyone hits a low point from time to time. Sometimes for reasons that might seem silly to someone else, you feel low, and these feelings can breed. Having people around you to confide in can help. Having the courage to do so is another step. Anything creative. Getting out and about. But above all, being with friends and family. People like people, and having those you loce to listen to you, and then give you a slap and tell you to stop being a big girls blouse....is what can make you feel okay again, and ready to give life a poke in the eye.
Suffered from depression myself a while back. Three things I found useful in battling it have been mentioned already but I think they are crucial: Exercise - doesn't even have to be anything intense. A good long walk still counts. Just get moving, it's amazing how quickly you'll start feeling better after some regular exercise. Eat well - I'm sure we've all felt that we need a blowout, either some greasy food or getting on the booze. Whilst I think short term and every now and then it can help the important thing is to make sure it isn't the norm. Meditation - I was always dubious about this but was lucky to spend time at a Buddhist temple in Japan. Really was eye opening and I'd recommend everyone to give it a go. After a few months I found myself calmer and more willing to just roll with whatever came my way.
Yes meditation - very very good.
Look at beautiful sights and just stare and think.
Nothing beats talking with friends. No matter how big the problem might seem, likelihood is someone close to you has gone through the exact same thing and come out of it the other side.
Later this month I'm going to start training as a Samaritan, as I honestly believe it is a service that can save lives.
If you feel as though you can't talk to friends/family, either because they aren't available to you or you don't feel comfortable, then speak to someone anonymous at the end of the line who is trained in such matters.
Talking is the best medication in the world for improving mental health, I genuinely believe that.
Comments
This will surprise you all...........................Get yourself a dog!!
Long walks, just you and your dog nothing else matters and he'll listen to all your woes. Mind you if mine could talk, I'd be Divorced & sacked by the end of the week. ; )
Havent taken a Prozac since that episode where I pulled over into the hard shoulder and cried my eyes out for about 30 mins. My employer was understanding, sent me to a councellor and whatever I needed to get off my chest I did as I was feeling back to my normal self a week or so later and I've not gone back to that dark place since.
I've had real dark days since; my marriage failed, I feel almost contstant pain at not being able to see my daughter as much as I like, I've watched helpless as my bi-polar suffering brother has been in hospital, I'm under constant pressure at work...so real dark days where you're at your wits end and you feel the end of the world is nigh but I've come out the other side.
I'm still physically and mentally as strong as an ox but you really need to help yourself:
1) Stay fit: Easier said that done but its important. Cut down on the booze, cut out the crap from your diet, lead a healthier lifestyle. Yes it takes some effort at the start but you soon start seeing the benefits. Exercise is really important.
2) Keep yourself occupied: take my weekend just gone for example. It was the weekend I didnt have my daughter so I knew I had to keep busy otherwise I'd start thinking too much if I just sat about my flat. I done my housework, I done some gardening, done some DIY, cleaned my bike...had a few friends over to watch the Boxing with me in the evening...then spent nearly all day Sunday out cycling with my club. Everyone must have a million and one things they want to do with their spare time. Maybe consider some volunteering work?
3) Talk and get things off your chest: so imporant. Friends and family are important. Ok, the old phrase "a problem shared is a problem halved" is going a little OTT, but sharing whats on your mind will help you as well as your friends & family to understand.
All 3 are inter-related. Keep yourself occupied with exercise, go and socialise with people and you can get stuff off your chest. It's all a huge help.
Start looking after yourself properly and it pays dividends.
Some fantastic advice on here.
Oggy's tip about helping others really is a cracker.
The other tips about getting out (get in touch with nature a bit) and getting exercise are also proven techniques. What Colin Tat says about meditation is worth considering as well - it has worked very well for many people. Positive thinking is very important too - remember, you will be alright. Don't listen to that nagging doubt that says that you won't. You will. You will have been through some awful times before, but you got through them - you always do; and you will get through this just the same. Have faith in yourself and be proud of your grit and tenacity.
I'd be a bit careful about popping pills from the health shop, though. 5HT supplements have been known to cause a condition called eosinophilia myalgia - which is either down to impurities produced during it's manufacture, or problems with tryptamine metabolism. It is often a reflex reaction to reach for the pills, but the techniques mentioned above have all been shown to have positive results for various people and often reflect the fact that it is real lifestyle change that is what is needed as it may simply be your way of life that is making you ill.
Anyway, remember that the best advice you will get is from healthcare professionals who know your condition very well (it is very common after all), so your first stop should maybe be your GP. If you have a good one of them, it really helps; not least if they are prepared to talk to you and just listen.
Good luck Cray.
Chuffed with some of the advice given, some of the stories given bring home how life can go anyway at anytime. I guess for me personally I've been one of them guys who show not much emotion and find it hard to talk about the way I'm feeling, I don't have many friends as I'm quite a closed book and find letting people in hard.
Some days I'm low, with the job I do, I see a side of life that not many people care to accept and shift work makes relationships difficult so overall its not as easy as someone who does a 9-5 in a office Monday to friday.
I play football once a week, and get down the gym once a week aswell but the points about having to much time to dwell on things when your alone is 100% right. I guess live wouldn't be life if it was all one big happy journey....
Some great advice here....
FWIW.....
1] Exercise, it makes you feel great and is crucial for mental well-being.
2] Lay off the booze, this will trap you in a horrible cycle.
3] Get involved in life, charity work is a brilliant idea for making you realise that there are plenty of folk worse off.
Good luck.
For any of you that are a bit confused by all the advice try reading the Serenity Prayer. for the atheists among us just take out the word god, lol.
a new experience in a new place, with new people, doing something very different.
Get involved with an organisation that arranges voluntary work, either here in the UK or in Africa, Europe, Asia, South America, etc
It needn't be forever, perhaps 6 months or a year - they'll feed you, house you, pay essential costs and give you pocket money.
You'll be in a situation away from home, involved with new people ..... either helping them or working alongside.
Life time friendships can be made - but anyway, it could be an experience that changes your whole way of thinking.
And a stepping stone to the next opportunity, whatever or wherever that may be.
You'll be a re-newed person. Remember, change stimulates us and makes us come alive.
And we begin to discover what we are capable of - and who we really are.
I have been through the wringer on the subject at hand, no worse of better than anyone else, each persons experience is bad enough, comparing like for like is futile, but there is a lot of comfort in realizing that you are not alone, that is for sure.
The advice on here is sound, pills are not evil, nor are they the answer to all ills, exercise without doubt is positive, as is what you put in your mouth. All that said let me make one thing clear, there is no one magic cure, you didn't get to where you are because of one thing or one incident or one experience, it crept up on you....
Therefore there is no magic wand, combos are the answer, live well, eat well, go for a run/walk, help someone, but please, don't think its all about doing one thing that will unlock it all. Over time you will get better, but a few pints and a dog burger one night are not gonna send you to the bottom of the black pit, just don't do it all the time, that really is the point. go outside, its nice, and will make you feel better
Stop comparing, stop measuring, if you like walking and it don't feel as good as it used to, that doesn't matter. You are still walking. This is good.
Not comfortable around your friends as you used to be? This doesn't matter, they are you friends, they don't expect anything of you, enjoy their company, even if it is less than "normal"
All of the above helped me.
Finally, check out Glasgow steps, google it, it is very good. Its not the only aide, but its a good one and has helped me.
Glad to hear that, NLA. It's that old 'indomitable spirit' as they say in Tae-Kwon-Do....good on yer.
Hope you are doing better too Cray/MOG.
That's the beauty of life's challenge though.
Everyone has such a variation of problems from all different backgrounds and possible mental difficulties.... some cope a bit better then others with certain types of things and vise versa.
Things that are not exactly textbook but just things I have learnt along my way:
1. Identify the problem ....WHY do I feel this way. (You may have to go deep in your mind)
2. Even if it hurts at 1st....be as realistic as possible about anything and everything. The end result will feel like a breath of fresh air that you can build upon. You maybe repressing something you hate. Let it out its cage and deal with it. (Depending on what it is)
3. If us humans never had negative emotions or thoughts then life would be pretty dam easy or a lot easier. The only thing stopping you is you and your self criticisms...the way you look at yourself.
It's just a feeling and does not reflect reality. Just to make you aware. Pride is important but if your self expectations are not met...then it may get you down. Your probably better then what you think you are. It needs to be acknowledged by yourself.
4. Find the time to start doing good excersise. It's not going to fix you but it will certainly help lift your mood to take more positive action. A catalyst.
5. Tidy your house. Go absolutely insane making your house or place you occupy, spotless and or more organised. Get rid of old shit.
6. dont be embarrassed or cautious about seeing a therapist. You are the most important person, because when you are fixed and happy...you can help your family and friends out more.....or they will appreciate you more.
7. FORGIVE YOURSELF. The pressures on, as always, but do yourself a favour and remind yourself you are a human that may have made mistakes but you can fix them.
Your probably going through certain stuff that I won't understand.
Because you don't feel great now...doesn't mean you won't feel better tomorrow.
Hold on.
Exercise - doesn't even have to be anything intense. A good long walk still counts. Just get moving, it's amazing how quickly you'll start feeling better after some regular exercise.
Eat well - I'm sure we've all felt that we need a blowout, either some greasy food or getting on the booze. Whilst I think short term and every now and then it can help the important thing is to make sure it isn't the norm.
Meditation - I was always dubious about this but was lucky to spend time at a Buddhist temple in Japan. Really was eye opening and I'd recommend everyone to give it a go. After a few months I found myself calmer and more willing to just roll with whatever came my way.
Having people around you to confide in can help. Having the courage to do so is another step.
Anything creative. Getting out and about. But above all, being with friends and family. People like people, and having those you loce to listen to you, and then give you a slap and tell you to stop being a big girls blouse....is what can make you feel okay again, and ready to give life a poke in the eye.
Look at beautiful sights and just stare and think.
Later this month I'm going to start training as a Samaritan, as I honestly believe it is a service that can save lives.
If you feel as though you can't talk to friends/family, either because they aren't available to you or you don't feel comfortable, then speak to someone anonymous at the end of the line who is trained in such matters.
Talking is the best medication in the world for improving mental health, I genuinely believe that.