Suffered from depression myself a while back. Three things I found useful in battling it have been mentioned already but I think they are crucial: Exercise - doesn't even have to be anything intense. A good long walk still counts. Just get moving, it's amazing how quickly you'll start feeling better after some regular exercise. Eat well - I'm sure we've all felt that we need a blowout, either some greasy food or getting on the booze. Whilst I think short term and every now and then it can help the important thing is to make sure it isn't the norm. Meditation - I was always dubious about this but was lucky to spend time at a Buddhist temple in Japan. Really was eye opening and I'd recommend everyone to give it a go. After a few months I found myself calmer and more willing to just roll with whatever came my way.
Yes meditation - very very good.
Look at beautiful sights and just stare and think.
I'm not sure bird watching classes as meditation but it certainly cheers me up sometimes.
Please dont be put off of going down the medication route. There's still stigma about this - and mental health in general - but hopefully you can see from this thread that you're not alone. Medication can have it's place if you are continually feeling down and it's affecting your life. If you had a broken leg people would be amazed if you refused pain killers! You don't have to take them forever - they can really help to lift your mood so you feel like doing the things you maybe stopped doing, help get your sleep patterns back to normal if they've been affected (very common) and help get your concentration back - mine goes when I'm down and my head feels like it's in a thick fog.
That said, I would agree with others about meditation (particularly mindfulness) when you are feeling up to it. Exercise too. Talking to someone you feel comfortable opening up to - friends or therapists etc. Sometimes there are life events etc that can trigger us feeling down - but that's not always the case. Depression can happen when everything in life is going OK, it's just the nature of the beast. Wondering about what has made us feel down can go round and round our minds in circles. I'm good at this - I spend hours in the middle of the night going round and round the same old stuff thinking if I go over it one more time I'll sort it out....!
The main thing is that you WILL feel better. Sometimes depression/feeling down can make us believe we wont feel better again. But you will.
My personal experience: I was like many of you, a plate spinner. Full time job, part time job, Dad, husband, brother, house owner, football coach, son-in-Law to two lovely people who became ill at the same time. Charlton fan, soapbox user, avid reader of news and current affairs, ETC. The world's problems were my problems.
Why did all my plates break at the same time ?
Other than my parents and two brothers, all my relationships were strained.( Including wife and kids)
The first sign was fearing disaster around every corner, which seemed to make bad things happen. I had an anxiety attack just because i put my wallet in my right pocket instead of my left. Work colleagues became the enemy. Driving became a nightmare. road rage, checking all the appliances were turned off in the house about 5 times if last one out. shocking nightmares, The negative voices in my head just made me implode or explode. Made excuses not to meet up with mates. Made excuses to miss some family events.
Any of this sound familiar ?
Mindfulness has helped, Meditation has helped. Charlton Life has Helped ! Having a young female doctor has helped ! (She told me about Cognitive behaviour therapy) writing and performing has helped (Poetry/comedy)
But you have to help yourself. (Bad days will still happen)
Don't be a victim. ( even if you have every right to feel like one )
There are many things that will assist you in a pick me up.
The problem is most of us are VERY different.
My key 3 things are:
Exercise. Exercise releases endorphines that improve your mood and give a feeling of elation... That is providing it is something you enjoy.
Talking to someone about it. Talking shares the weight off of your shoulders, maybe the person you're speaking to has been there themself, but neither of you ever knew the other had been there.
Diego, my dog. That little guy is always pleased to see me, he's happy to lay next to me if I'm tired, or bounce around like a nutter making me laugh when he does something stupid. He gets me out for walks, speaking to other dog owners and generally happier.
-----------
Other things that may help but I haven't touched:
Medication - Always avoided this one but I am sure it helps. My best friend went through a really twisted spell and these seemed to really help. It did take him a while to go from 1 tablet to half to a quarter then off, but they really did help him.
Professional counselling - It may help you discover what is dragging you down.
There are many things that will assist you in a pick me up.
The problem is most of us are VERY different.
My key 3 things are:
Exercise. Exercise releases endorphines that improve your mood and give a feeling of elation... That is providing it is something you enjoy.
Talking to someone about it. Talking shares the weight off of your shoulders, maybe the person you're speaking to has been there themself, but neither of you ever knew the other had been there.
Diego, my dog. That little guy is always pleased to see me, he's happy to lay next to me if I'm tired, or bounce around like a nutter making me laugh when he does something stupid. He gets me out for walks, speaking to other dog owners and generally happier.
-----------
Other things that may help but I haven't touched:
Medication - Always avoided this one but I am sure it helps. My best friend went through a really twisted spell and these seemed to really help. It did take him a while to go from 1 tablet to half to a quarter then off, but they really did help him.
Professional counselling - It may help you discover what is dragging you down.
Do you have any ideas what triggers these feelings?
Personally I struggle with boredom and repetition. For me, these two things result in me drinking too much and having anxiety and making poor decisions. In the long run I just break when this happens; eventually things just.. Pop.
Have you got anything to look forward to? I try and book weekends away when things get difficult. This may be hard if you've got a family, otherwise I'd recommend somewhere by the sea. I took myself for a weekend in Brighton last summer - and sat along the seafront in the darkness for a while. I guess almost as a form of meditation; just listening to each individual wave and the feeling of each individual rock, focusing on that exact moment.
More recently I completely changed my work-life, and began contracting so I know I'm only at a given place for x weeks/months. Once again, it's definitely a luxury if you can do that though - although, in my case right now it's actually dragged me lower than I've been in a while. (Never been as bored in my life, yet I keep getting renewals for weeks when only a few days are needed.)
'Headspace' a great app to help with meditation. I'm only a few days into the free trial (which lasts 10 days I think) and it's teaching me mindfulness, which is key to battling anxieties I would say - it's essentially to help keep you 'present' to stop your mind wondering off to bad things in the past or worries about the future.
Personal time helps.
Also one I most struggle with, try not to box up your emotions. To put it simply, emotions are there for a reason - if you are sad then ride with the sadness if you can (in moderation of course), if you are angry then try to let that anger out.. Boxing it up causes confusion, your mind won't know what is anger what is sadness etc etc. because you treat them all the same.
Learning about 'it' is the best thing you can do, hard, but the best thing you can do - why it may happen, what makes me feel good, what I shouldn't do etc.
Treat your life and your mental health with as much if not more respect than your physical, if your work is ruining you mentally and causing you severe problems - try to change if possible, you only live once and all that - so enjoy it.
Do you have any ideas what triggers these feelings?
Personally I struggle with boredom and repetition. For me, these two things result in me drinking too much and having anxiety and making poor decisions. In the long run I just break when this happens; eventually things just.. Pop.
Have you got anything to look forward to? I try and book weekends away when things get difficult. This may be hard if you've got a family, otherwise I'd recommend somewhere by the sea. I took myself for a weekend in Brighton last summer - and sat along the seafront in the darkness for a while. I guess almost as a form of meditation; just listening to each individual wave and the feeling of each individual rock, focusing on that exact moment.
More recently I completely changed my work-life, and began contracting so I know I'm only at a given place for x weeks/months. Once again, it's definitely a luxury if you can do that though - although, in my case right now it's actually dragged me lower than I've been in a while. (Never been as bored in my life, yet I keep getting renewals for weeks when only a few days are needed.)
'Headspace' a great app to help with meditation. I'm only a few days into the free trial (which lasts 10 days I think) and it's teaching me mindfulness, which is key to battling anxieties I would say - it's essentially to help keep you 'present' to stop your mind wondering off to bad things in the past or worries about the future.
Personal time helps.
Also one I most struggle with, try not to box up your emotions. To put it simply, emotions are there for a reason - if you are sad then ride with the sadness if you can (in moderation of course), if you are angry then try to let that anger out.. Boxing it up causes confusion, your mind won't know what is anger what is sadness etc etc. because you treat them all the same.
Learning about 'it' is the best thing you can do, hard, but the best thing you can do - why it may happen, what makes me feel good, what I shouldn't do etc.
Treat your life and your mental health with as much if not more respect than your physical, if your work is ruining you mentally and causing you severe problems - try to change if possible, you only live once and all that - so enjoy it.
Highly agree with both.
Do things in moderation....for example, good diet and excersise...don't suddenly flip out and go mental in the gym like that mess Jodie Marsh...and don't become a fruitarion like the late great Steve jobs.
It's all not a one way street.
Bacon is fine....just don't eat too much of it. Don't drink too much coke. Don't eat too many burgers. Swap chips for potatoes...red meat with fish...chocolate/crisps/binge snack with some fruit. Then you have opened the door to be ok to eat some crap. Beer will taste special...desert maybe more of a desire.
Too much of anything will make you sick.
Make sure the mind is stimulated more if you are bored as hell.
Depending on your responsibilities....if you need to "get the f*ck out" then do it.
One more thing... remember life before facebook? before twitter and all the other social medias?
Neither do I really...
I know deep down though, I was happier before all that shite came about.
I don't mind forums, but even find myself wasting so much time on them.
Technology is addictive, there's no denying it. The more you step away from addictive activities that add no real benefit to life, you feel better.
That's my next goal. Reduce my Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and Forum presence. Strip them right back to only being linked to the people and things I actually care about...
I lost my mum a month ago and as I was living with her things are a little strange at the moment.
I'm getting used to living on my own(apart from a deaf cat) for the first time and also sorting out all the bills and all that entails and I appear to have a leak in the mains water pipe which needs to be sorted.
I'm keeping myself occupied by going to the gym a few times a week but work is a problem as it's pretty boring.
It's early days,but I seem to be doing OK. Onwards and upwards
Really sorry to hear your news @addick1965. Glad to hear you are doing ok at the moment, just remember to talk to friends if things aren't so good mate.
I'll be going into hospital myself soon for various reasons but one of the main things is to get some proper counselling for my anxiety and finding ways of dealing with it after twenty years of not asking for any help and getting myself into a right old mess.
I hope a few years on from creating this thread everyone is doing ok, I'm still feeling very up and down with life.
Did you move to Dorset ?
Yes mate moved down here. Mrs didn't like the work so she has moved back up to London when she's working and back down here on days off.
Ultimately for me personally I find things incredibly up and down. One day I'm totally fine, getting on with life, going to work, cooking food etc etc. Other days I feel low and this usually involves a deep chain of thoughts which lead to questions about what I'm actually doing with my life.
I'm not sure if that is a sign that I should be looking at changing my career or doing something different.
The excersise I've practically stopped and I'm eating pretty bad which judging by the above posts isn't going to be helping the situation. Maybe living alone doesn't do any favours, who knows. I would like to look into to meditation however I think I have that old fashion thought process that it just smoke and mirrors.
@addick1965 Really sorry to hear about your mum, stay strong. Sounds like them trips down to the gym are really helping keep things positive
I hope a few years on from creating this thread everyone is doing ok, I'm still feeling very up and down with life.
Did you move to Dorset ?
Yes mate moved down here. Mrs didn't like the work so she has moved back up to London when she's working and back down here on days off.
Ultimately for me personally I find things incredibly up and down. One day I'm totally fine, getting on with life, going to work, cooking food etc etc. Other days I feel low and this usually involves a deep chain of thoughts which lead to questions about what I'm actually doing with my life.
I'm not sure if that is a sign that I should be looking at changing my career or doing something different.
The excersise I've practically stopped and I'm eating pretty bad which judging by the above posts isn't going to be helping the situation. Maybe living alone doesn't do any favours, who knows. I would like to look into to meditation however I think I have that old fashion thought process that it just smoke and mirrors.
@addick1965 Really sorry to hear about your mum, stay strong. Sounds like them trips down to the gym are really helping keep things positive
Sorry to hear things aren't so good Cray. I hear you completely when you say some days are fine yet others even getting out of bed & and cooking seem miles off, I'm 50/50 and really need to push myself or be pushed into it. I count myself incredibly lucky to have my wife supporting me and feel for you not having that all the time.
It's so easy to fall into lack of exercise and eating badly and I'm an absolute sucker for it mate. Have to say it does make a big difference though, even getting out for a stroll in the park (which I'm just back from). It's funny how nice things can come from doing little things like that. I sat down on a bench under a tree to get out of the sun for a bit of a rest and completely randomly a man I met yesterday who is a mentor/counsellor was out walking as well. We had a really nice chat for about 15 mins about something I've got to face in the near future, massively random to meet him and it's really made me much more positive today and has allayed some of my fears.
I've heard nothing but good things about Mindfulness and Meditation and have dabbled a little bit but will be giving it much more of a go. There is much more to it than smoke and mirrors having gone through a 'body scan' with my therapist, it relaxed me massively, even just learning how to breathe properly.
Comments
That said, I would agree with others about meditation (particularly mindfulness) when you are feeling up to it. Exercise too. Talking to someone you feel comfortable opening up to - friends or therapists etc. Sometimes there are life events etc that can trigger us feeling down - but that's not always the case. Depression can happen when everything in life is going OK, it's just the nature of the beast. Wondering about what has made us feel down can go round and round our minds in circles. I'm good at this - I spend hours in the middle of the night going round and round the same old stuff thinking if I go over it one more time I'll sort it out....!
The main thing is that you WILL feel better. Sometimes depression/feeling down can make us believe we wont feel better again. But you will.
I was like many of you, a plate spinner.
Full time job, part time job, Dad, husband, brother, house owner, football coach, son-in-Law to two lovely people who became ill at the same time.
Charlton fan, soapbox user, avid reader of news and current affairs, ETC.
The world's problems were my problems.
Why did all my plates break at the same time ?
Other than my parents and two brothers, all my relationships were strained.( Including wife and kids)
The first sign was fearing disaster around every corner, which seemed to make bad things happen.
I had an anxiety attack just because i put my wallet in my right pocket instead of my left. Work colleagues became the enemy. Driving became a nightmare. road rage, checking all the appliances were turned off in the house about 5 times if last one out.
shocking nightmares,
The negative voices in my head just made me implode or explode.
Made excuses not to meet up with mates.
Made excuses to miss some family events.
Any of this sound familiar ?
Mindfulness has helped,
Meditation has helped.
Charlton Life has Helped !
Having a young female doctor has helped !
(She told me about Cognitive behaviour therapy)
writing and performing has helped (Poetry/comedy)
But you have to help yourself. (Bad days will still happen)
Don't be a victim. ( even if you have every right to feel like one )
Also +1 for talking about your worries.
The problem is most of us are VERY different.
My key 3 things are:
Exercise.
Exercise releases endorphines that improve your mood and give a feeling of elation... That is providing it is something you enjoy.
Talking to someone about it.
Talking shares the weight off of your shoulders, maybe the person you're speaking to has been there themself, but neither of you ever knew the other had been there.
Diego, my dog.
That little guy is always pleased to see me, he's happy to lay next to me if I'm tired, or bounce around like a nutter making me laugh when he does something stupid. He gets me out for walks, speaking to other dog owners and generally happier.
-----------
Other things that may help but I haven't touched:
Medication - Always avoided this one but I am sure it helps. My best friend went through a really twisted spell and these seemed to really help. It did take him a while to go from 1 tablet to half to a quarter then off, but they really did help him.
Professional counselling - It may help you discover what is dragging you down.
https://g.co/kgs/9RjiR6
If you ever need to get pumped up for something, I can think of few things better than this:
http://interaktiv.morgenpost.de/huh/
Personally I struggle with boredom and repetition. For me, these two things result in me drinking too much and having anxiety and making poor decisions. In the long run I just break when this happens; eventually things just.. Pop.
Have you got anything to look forward to? I try and book weekends away when things get difficult. This may be hard if you've got a family, otherwise I'd recommend somewhere by the sea. I took myself for a weekend in Brighton last summer - and sat along the seafront in the darkness for a while. I guess almost as a form of meditation; just listening to each individual wave and the feeling of each individual rock, focusing on that exact moment.
More recently I completely changed my work-life, and began contracting so I know I'm only at a given place for x weeks/months. Once again, it's definitely a luxury if you can do that though - although, in my case right now it's actually dragged me lower than I've been in a while. (Never been as bored in my life, yet I keep getting renewals for weeks when only a few days are needed.)
Personal time helps.
Also one I most struggle with, try not to box up your emotions. To put it simply, emotions are there for a reason - if you are sad then ride with the sadness if you can (in moderation of course), if you are angry then try to let that anger out.. Boxing it up causes confusion, your mind won't know what is anger what is sadness etc etc. because you treat them all the same.
Learning about 'it' is the best thing you can do, hard, but the best thing you can do - why it may happen, what makes me feel good, what I shouldn't do etc.
Treat your life and your mental health with as much if not more respect than your physical, if your work is ruining you mentally and causing you severe problems - try to change if possible, you only live once and all that - so enjoy it.
Do things in moderation....for example, good diet and excersise...don't suddenly flip out and go mental in the gym like that mess Jodie Marsh...and don't become a fruitarion like the late great Steve jobs.
It's all not a one way street.
Bacon is fine....just don't eat too much of it. Don't drink too much coke. Don't eat too many burgers.
Swap chips for potatoes...red meat with fish...chocolate/crisps/binge snack with some fruit.
Then you have opened the door to be ok to eat some crap. Beer will taste special...desert maybe more of a desire.
Too much of anything will make you sick.
Make sure the mind is stimulated more if you are bored as hell.
Depending on your responsibilities....if you need to "get the f*ck out" then do it.
Neither do I really...
I know deep down though, I was happier before all that shite came about.
I don't mind forums, but even find myself wasting so much time on them.
Technology is addictive, there's no denying it. The more you step away from addictive activities that add no real benefit to life, you feel better.
That's my next goal. Reduce my Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and Forum presence. Strip them right back to only being linked to the people and things I actually care about...
I'm getting used to living on my own(apart from a deaf cat) for the first time and also sorting out all the bills and all that entails and I appear to have a leak in the mains water pipe which needs to be sorted.
I'm keeping myself occupied by going to the gym a few times a week but work is a problem as it's pretty boring.
It's early days,but I seem to be doing OK. Onwards and upwards
Just remember if you start to feel like you aren't okay, it's absolutely okay to feel that way.
It's human nature to mourn, we all do it differently but it is nature.
If a time comes when you need to talk, don't avoid it. It'll do you the world of good.
I'll be going into hospital myself soon for various reasons but one of the main things is to get some proper counselling for my anxiety and finding ways of dealing with it after twenty years of not asking for any help and getting myself into a right old mess.
Wishing you well.
Ultimately for me personally I find things incredibly up and down. One day I'm totally fine, getting on with life, going to work, cooking food etc etc. Other days I feel low and this usually involves a deep chain of thoughts which lead to questions about what I'm actually doing with my life.
I'm not sure if that is a sign that I should be looking at changing my career or doing something different.
The excersise I've practically stopped and I'm eating pretty bad which judging by the above posts isn't going to be helping the situation. Maybe living alone doesn't do any favours, who knows. I would like to look into to meditation however I think I have that old fashion thought process that it just smoke and mirrors.
@addick1965 Really sorry to hear about your mum, stay strong. Sounds like them trips down to the gym are really helping keep things positive
It's so easy to fall into lack of exercise and eating badly and I'm an absolute sucker for it mate. Have to say it does make a big difference though, even getting out for a stroll in the park (which I'm just back from). It's funny how nice things can come from doing little things like that. I sat down on a bench under a tree to get out of the sun for a bit of a rest and completely randomly a man I met yesterday who is a mentor/counsellor was out walking as well. We had a really nice chat for about 15 mins about something I've got to face in the near future, massively random to meet him and it's really made me much more positive today and has allayed some of my fears.
I've heard nothing but good things about Mindfulness and Meditation and have dabbled a little bit but will be giving it much more of a go. There is much more to it than smoke and mirrors having gone through a 'body scan' with my therapist, it relaxed me massively, even just learning how to breathe properly.