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'They f*!k you up your mum and dad'

Watching the lad play at The Marathon ground on Shooters Hill and saw two six-year old boys on adjacent pitch reduced to tears by a bunch of slack-jawed adults screaming at them,the opposition ,the referee and anyone else unfortunate enough to be within earshot.The poor kids were having the joy of playing drained out of them by men and women both.What a dispiriting spectacle.
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Comments

  • The Bard of Hull had it right .. in some cases. I like to think that for every slack jawed tosser of a dad and mouthy slut of a muvver there are a hundred parents who do the right thing .. unfortunately in circumstances which you describe, all too often it's the minority dickheads who stand out like beacons of disrepute and spoil it for everyone else. Like the boo boys at football matches
  • FA Level 1 coaching award should be compulsory to watch kids football. No exceptions.
  • I stopped going to watch my nephew's team because of this. It's atrocious to see the cheating, abuse, violence and God knows what else. It was bad enough when i was playing having to listen to it when I played on pitches where kids' games were going on next to us - seeing it first-hand is soul destroying.
  • FA Level 1 coaching award should be compulsory to watch kids football. No exceptions.
    that makes some sense .. i can't see similar levels of bad behaviour being accepted at (say) junior AAA meetings or at swimming galas/contests .. although i have seen some absolute monster parents, especially dads at certain tennis tournaments
  • I misread the heading on this initially and thought it was a reference to what Eliza Carthy said about her parents, Martin Carthy and Norma Waterson: ''They folk you up, your mum and dad...''

  • Local side where I live makes the parents sign a form about behaviour --otherwise they cannot watch and if they mouth it off at the game -its a red card and they and there son/daughter are thrown out the club.....sad really ...and when they try to get in another club or transfer --would you want them ?

  • FA Level 1 coaching award should be compulsory to watch kids football. No exceptions.
    that makes some sense .. i can't see similar levels of bad behaviour being accepted at (say) junior AAA meetings or at swimming galas/contests .. although i have seen some absolute monster parents, especially dads at certain tennis tournaments
    My daughter does swimming and I've been to numerous (yaaawwwwnnnn) galas and I honestly think some of the parents are more obsessed than football parents (dealt with them for 10yrs now) and they are bloody obsessed
    Swimming parenta are Much better behaved though!!!
  • I think Linc is right and it's invariably the minority that is the turd in the champagne glass & it's up to the rest of us to do it properly.I would say sterilize them were it not for fear of being seen as an embittered old fascist.Apologies for the bleak nature of this thread.
  • I think Linc is right and it's invariably the minority that is the turd in the champagne glass & it's up to the rest of us to do it properly.I would say sterilize them were it not for fear of being seen as an embittered old fascist.Apologies for the bleak nature of this thread.
    not at all .. it's good light relief from the 'Jim Davidson' question .. and defo NOT in the context of embittered old fascist .. sterilisation? .. I'd send them all off to Australia on a £10 assisted passage .. on dear it's 2012 not 1961
  • FA Level 1 coaching award should be compulsory to watch kids football. No exceptions.
    that makes some sense .. i can't see similar levels of bad behaviour being accepted at (say) junior AAA meetings or at swimming galas/contests .. although i have seen some absolute monster parents, especially dads at certain tennis tournaments
    My daughter does swimming and I've been to numerous (yaaawwwwnnnn) galas and I honestly think some of the parents are more obsessed than football parents (dealt with them for 10yrs now) and they are bloody obsessed
    Swimming parenta are Much better behaved though!!!
    My eldest son was a gifted young footballer and both his mum and myself were very very keen to do our best for him .. we never got to the stage where we would abuse him, his team mates or the opposition but we still got into a few scrapes with 'opposition' parents who we considered to be a little too over enthusiastic .. more problems than in many years of travelling to away professional games .. humans are (in many cases) confrontational and, in this time and era, frustrated, with fewer and fewer outlets for frustrations and ambitions .. the good thing about swimming though is that it takes a brave parent to invade 'the pitch'
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  • FA Level 1 coaching award should be compulsory to watch kids football. No exceptions.
    Cool idea. My 61 year old mum stood in the pouring rain this afternoon to support her grandson. I'll let her know she needs to do her badges.
  • FA Level 1 coaching award should be compulsory to watch kids football. No exceptions.
    Cool idea. My 61 year old mum stood in the pouring rain this afternoon to support her grandson. I'll let her know she needs to do her badges.
    hahha... perhaps you're taking our friend too literally ?
  • edited March 2012
    My son plays for un U9 team. I ref their home games. For now. Very tempted to jack it in after today. Why do people think that just because I am willing to give free of my time and help out on Sunday mornings that I am open to be abused and accused. Would I accept it in any other situation? Of course not, but kids' football brings out the absolute worst in 'grown ups'.
    Today the usual accusation of cheating was being banded about so at half time I went to chat to the dad of a kid on the other team who was dishing it out. He told me not to take another step towards him or else. Now in this situation it would be easy to tell him where to go - but I wouldn't do that in front of 8 and 9 year olds. So I refused to carry on until he assured me he'd not say another word - which he couldn't do but was done so on his behalf by other parents.
    Sad.
  • My son plays for un U9 team. I ref their home games. For now. Very tempted to jack it in after today. Why do people think that just because I am willing to give free of my time and help out on Sunday mornings that I am open to be abused and accused. Would I accept it in any other situation? Of course not, but kids' football brings out the absolute worst in 'grown ups'.
    Today the usual accusation of cheating was being banded about so at half time I went to chat to the dad of a kid on the other team who was dishing it out. He told me not to take another step towards him or else. Now in this situation it would be easy to tell him where to go - but I wouldn't do that in front of 8 and 9 year olds. So I refused to carry on until he assured me he'd not say another word - which he couldn't do but was done so on his behalf by other parents.
    Sad.
    Men, of course just hate to lose face.. but at least he listened to the advice of his friends. When one sees the televised abuse handed out to referees by professional players, it's little wonder that children, be they 9 or 49, copy and emulate their heroes. Good luck in the future. The old cliché .. No Referee ... NO GAME
  • edited March 2012
    i stopped my son playing football as some of the parents just made it all such an unenjoyable experience.

    he plays rugby instead now and loves it
  • edited March 2012
    My son plays for un U9 team. I ref their home games. For now. Very tempted to jack it in after today. Why do people think that just because I am willing to give free of my time and help out on Sunday mornings that I am open to be abused and accused. Would I accept it in any other situation? Of course not, but kids' football brings out the absolute worst in 'grown ups'.
    Today the usual accusation of cheating was being banded about so at half time I went to chat to the dad of a kid on the other team who was dishing it out. He told me not to take another step towards him or else. Now in this situation it would be easy to tell him where to go - but I wouldn't do that in front of 8 and 9 year olds. So I refused to carry on until he assured me he'd not say another word - which he couldn't do but was done so on his behalf by other parents.
    Sad.
    That is Sad ...time to retire not worth the hassle .................and as for not taking another step -well done on keeping it cool ...
  • I play in the Selkent Under 17 League...and back in December in one of our games..the ref didn't turn up. Out of pure generosity, my Dad (not a referee) said he would referee the game despite not having refereed a game since my younger days ...the opposition were 3-0 up at half time...then in the second half, my Dad awarded a blatant penalty for our side after one of our players got elbowed in the face and started bleeding.

    Anyway, a couple of minutes later, my Dad still receives abuse from the opposition players about the penalty decisions so he asks their coach to take off a player who was very close to getting sent off. Anyway, a fight breaks out on the pitch later in the game, and everyone tries to break it up, then the player who was asked to leave the pitch...comes running on and fly-kicks a player in front of me, so we grabbed hold of him and broke him away...he turns round and punches the first person he could see who unfortunately was my dad.

    Since that game, my love in playing football decreased...i'm leaving my side at the end of the season, and i can't see myself going back..all because of some guy. Unbelievable.
  • i had to stop my son playing football, some of the parents just made it all such an unenjoyable experience. he plays rugby instead now and loves it
    same here but mine does Fencing. The kids salute each other before and shake hands after each match and not a peep is heard from the parents.
  • edited March 2012
    I play in the Selkent Under 17 League...and back in December in one of our games..the ref didn't turn up. Out of pure generosity, my Dad (not a referee) said he would referee the game despite not having refereed a game since my younger days ...the opposition were 3-0 up at half time...then in the second half, my Dad awarded a blatant penalty for our side after one of our players got elbowed in the face and started bleeding.

    Anyway, a couple of minutes later, my Dad still receives abuse from the opposition players about the penalty decisions so he asks their coach to take off a player who was very close to getting sent off. Anyway, a fight breaks out on the pitch later in the game, and everyone tries to break it up, then the player who was asked to leave the pitch...comes running on and fly-kicks a player in front of me, so we grabbed hold of him and broke him away...he turns round and punches the first person he could see who unfortunately was my dad.

    Since that game, my love in playing football decreased...i'm leaving my side at the end of the season, and i can't see myself going back..all because of some guy. Unbelievable.
    Hope that guy got banned for life its sine die for hitting the refereee. -hope your dad was ok....
  • I play in the Selkent Under 17 League...and back in December in one of our games..the ref didn't turn up. Out of pure generosity, my Dad (not a referee) said he would referee the game despite not having refereed a game since my younger days ...the opposition were 3-0 up at half time...then in the second half, my Dad awarded a blatant penalty for our side after one of our players got elbowed in the face and started bleeding.

    Anyway, a couple of minutes later, my Dad still receives abuse from the opposition players about the penalty decisions so he asks their coach to take off a player who was very close to getting sent off. Anyway, a fight breaks out on the pitch later in the game, and everyone tries to break it up, then the player who was asked to leave the pitch...comes running on and fly-kicks a player in front of me, so we grabbed hold of him and broke him away...he turns round and punches the first person he could see who unfortunately was my dad.

    Since that game, my love in playing football decreased...i'm leaving my side at the end of the season, and i can't see myself going back..all because of some guy. Unbelievable.
    Hope that guy got banned for life its sine die for hitting the refereee. -hope your dad was ok....
    Dad fractured his cheekbone...but its all fine now....not sure what has happened about the kid...still ongoing i think.
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  • Watching the lad play at The Marathon ground on Shooters Hill and saw two six-year old boys on adjacent pitch reduced to tears by a bunch of slack-jawed adults screaming at them,the opposition ,the referee and anyone else unfortunate enough to be within earshot.The poor kids were having the joy of playing drained out of them by men and women both.What a dispiriting spectacle.
    Any Ideas off what teams were involved?
  • I play in the Selkent Under 17 League...and back in December in one of our games..the ref didn't turn up. Out of pure generosity, my Dad (not a referee) said he would referee the game despite not having refereed a game since my younger days ...the opposition were 3-0 up at half time...then in the second half, my Dad awarded a blatant penalty for our side after one of our players got elbowed in the face and started bleeding.

    Anyway, a couple of minutes later, my Dad still receives abuse from the opposition players about the penalty decisions so he asks their coach to take off a player who was very close to getting sent off. Anyway, a fight breaks out on the pitch later in the game, and everyone tries to break it up, then the player who was asked to leave the pitch...comes running on and fly-kicks a player in front of me, so we grabbed hold of him and broke him away...he turns round and punches the first person he could see who unfortunately was my dad.

    Since that game, my love in playing football decreased...i'm leaving my side at the end of the season, and i can't see myself going back..all because of some guy. Unbelievable.
    Hope that guy got banned for life its sine die for hitting the refereee. -hope your dad was ok....
    Dad fractured his cheekbone...but its all fine now....not sure what has happened about the kid...still ongoing i think.
    FA should ban him for life and i would have had charges made against him .....
  • No idea of teams involved I'm afraid,SJJ.

    Easy for me to say Sir Humphrey,but keep it up,we need people of your calibre out there.

    Stumbled,again very easy for me to say,but keep playing,don't let the guttersnipes grind you down. You're a long time not playing when you're no longer young enough to do so. Keep the faith,play on.
  • No idea of teams involved I'm afraid,SJJ.

    Easy for me to say Sir Humphrey,but keep it up,we need people of your calibre out there.

    Stubley,again very easy for me to say,but keep playing,don't let the guttersnipes grind you down. You're a long time not playing when you're no longer young enough to do so. Keep the faith,play on.
  • No idea of teams involved I'm afraid,SJJ.

    Easy for me to say Sir Humphrey,but keep it up,we need people of your calibre out there.

    Stubley,again very easy for me to say,but keep playing,don't let the guttersnipes grind you down. You're a long time not playing when you're no longer young enough to do so. Keep the faith,play on.
    To be honest, i won't stop playing football with mates, and i might even still go training...and even start a 5-a-side team. Right now, i just don't want to go through that again...thanks for the words.

  • You're welcome.
  • edited March 2012
    Sorry to hear of your experiences @Redskin and @sirjohnhumphrey.

    Any referee of youth games will tell you that it's the parents that are the most difficult part of the game, not the kids themselves. Some parents need to stop trying to play the game through their children, and instead focus their energies on encouraging the kids to both enjoy the game, and improve at it.

    Interestingly, at most academy games (i.e. u16 and below), which I have refereed literally hundreds of, the parents are dead quiet. Of course they have the fear of their sons losing their potential contract, but I think the main reason for that is that there is a broad understanding that the game is occurring principally for the development of players, as opposed to either team winning.
  • My son plays for un U9 team. I ref their home games. For now. Very tempted to jack it in after today. Why do people think that just because I am willing to give free of my time and help out on Sunday mornings that I am open to be abused and accused. Would I accept it in any other situation? Of course not, but kids' football brings out the absolute worst in 'grown ups'.
    Today the usual accusation of cheating was being banded about so at half time I went to chat to the dad of a kid on the other team who was dishing it out. He told me not to take another step towards him or else. Now in this situation it would be easy to tell him where to go - but I wouldn't do that in front of 8 and 9 year olds. So I refused to carry on until he assured me he'd not say another word - which he couldn't do but was done so on his behalf by other parents.
    Sad.
    As a sunday league ref, I was asked about 4 months ago if i'd step in and ref an under 9's match one weekend. I did so and regretted it within 5 mins. I had parents screaming at me to send off a nipper just because he slightly mis-timed a tackle, being accused of cheating by both sides whenever i gave a decision against one of their boys. There's nothing wrong with shouting encouragement from the side-lines but every parent seemed to think he (and sometimes she) was blessed with more knowledge than Alex Ferguson. How people cope with managing these teams is beyond me!

    Needless to say, I have not managed a junior match since, nor will I do so in the future.
  • I am involved with youth football here in Australia and they have a very strictly enforced "zero tolerance" approach to bad parental behaviour.

    At every FFA approved match (which is basically all organised football) there MUST be a ground steward on duty and he has the power - at the direction of the referee - to remove any spectators deemed to be in breach of ground regulations (swearing, threatening behaviour, etc.)

    As a result - and because everyone know that the authorities will come down very hard - you get very little trouble at youth games here, I have only seen one incident in all my time here and that was a kid from our club who swore at someone in the crowd and ended up getting a life ban from the club.

    Interestingly, although Rugby League has very similar rules in place to football there are still regular mini-riots at junior Rugby League games over here, some of the parental behaviour is absolutely shocking - although Rugby League is played and watched by what you might call the "lower classes" in these parts.
  • My son plays for un U9 team. I ref their home games. For now. Very tempted to jack it in after today. Why do people think that just because I am willing to give free of my time and help out on Sunday mornings that I am open to be abused and accused. Would I accept it in any other situation? Of course not, but kids' football brings out the absolute worst in 'grown ups'.
    Today the usual accusation of cheating was being banded about so at half time I went to chat to the dad of a kid on the other team who was dishing it out. He told me not to take another step towards him or else. Now in this situation it would be easy to tell him where to go - but I wouldn't do that in front of 8 and 9 year olds. So I refused to carry on until he assured me he'd not say another word - which he couldn't do but was done so on his behalf by other parents.
    Sad.
    As a sunday league ref, I was asked about 4 months ago if i'd step in and ref an under 9's match one weekend. I did so and regretted it within 5 mins. I had parents screaming at me to send off a nipper just because he slightly mis-timed a tackle, being accused of cheating by both sides whenever i gave a decision against one of their boys. There's nothing wrong with shouting encouragement from the side-lines but every parent seemed to think he (and sometimes she) was blessed with more knowledge than Alex Ferguson. How people cope with managing these teams is beyond me!

    Needless to say, I have not managed a junior match since, nor will I do so in the future.
    would have buggered of at half time
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