The only known time machine was discovered in Burnley.
It was discovered by two teenagers Will and Ched who were trying to successfully pass a history class.
The teenagers sucessfully went back in time to bring famous historical figures such a Napoleon, Joan of Arc and Socarates to the present day, unfortunately due to complications coming back from collecting Sigmund Freud the whole of Burnley has been stuck in the 1900s ever since.
The population is around 73,000 and not one person is called Lee. The reason for this is the fear of a misunderstanding when someone mentions the name of the town.
1/2. its not so well known and quite a sad sign of modern times that burnley is now the only place left in britain where whippet dogs still run wild, in burnley.
burnleys ground is on a site which the locals used to gather and deposit the contents of their chamber pots. this was commonly known as 'turd moor'. over time it has changed to the current 'turf moor'. this was down to the use of the 'qwerty' typewriter with the locals continuously hitting the 'F' key instead of the 'D' with their webbed fingers.
The unnamed protaganist in Len Deightons Ipcress file (Harry Palmer in the film) was from Burnley. He sounded like he was from the Elephant and Castle in the film I know...
Due to its rich seafaring tradition Burnley is also the centre of the UK's gravlax industry, producing literally 100's of packets of the vomit inducing rotten fish dish in the city every year.
In the 1947 , Burnley's inside right Billy Morris became only the second Welshman to play in an FA Cup final for twenty years. After Cardiff City took the cup to Wales in 1927, The FA retaliated by banning all Welsh teams and players. This was only rescinded in 1946 as a result of the support the Welsh had given to the war effort. The people of Burnley celbrated this succuss by erracting a statue of the player astride a giant dragon in the car park of the local mint ball factory. It is still there to this day.
H.G.Wells was inspired to write The Time Machine after a visit to Burnely in the early 1890s. He got the idea for the Morlocks after seeing small, stunted and grubby men emerging from holes in the ground. Inspiration for the Eloi came later on that day, after seeing the men turn into prancing fairies on the football field. A tradition that continues today.
In the same way that Bolton used to be called Notlob in the 17th century, Burnley used to be called Brunley. The town of Brunley was in the original script for the Monty Python parrot sketch, but was removed at the last minute so that the John Cleese could spend longer on "...it rests in peace. If you hadn't nailed it to the perch" bit of the sketch. It was also rumoured that the BBC hierarchy insisted that the line about Brunley was removed from the sketch as it might offend viewers in Blackbrun, which, at the time, was known to have in excess of 9500 holes.
Anorak Fact: The much lamented Burnley Colne & Nelson Joint Transport Committee used to run buses and trams to such exotic local locations as: Heifer Lane, Barnoldswick Road, Cog Lane, Bleak House, Dicky Nook, and Brunshaw. Some of these services were of course formerly run by the Ezra Laycock Traction Co.
I echo that PL54. True story this - in the mid 90s some Burnley fans tried to set fire to the then manager's (Jimmy Mullen) wife in (if my memory serves me correctly) a chip shop, whilst she was waiting to be served. The Burnley team had been on a bad run, and this was an attempt by said fans to get Mullen to resign, which I think happened in due course. They are, therefore, forever to be known as the "Turf Morons".
Awful bunch, but the "Long Side" was utterly beautiful. Like the Kippax and Leed Road. Sadly I never saw the old Valley East Terrace, but I imagine it was equally captivating.
Burnley is the spiritual home of mice and every mouse has to journey to the 'Great Hole' in Burnley at least once or they forfit a place in Rodent Heaven.
Burnley town centre has the highest concentration of pound shops in the UK. this is said to be a technological miracle because it not easy to get individual brick built buildings to weigh this much.
No Oggy, a different one. And yes you do remember aright, our JM was a left winger ('68/69 I think). I remember seeing him get the winner (of course) against us for Rotherham up there a few years later.
Amongst the more obscure local by-laws still in effect in Burnley: it is illegal to have oral sex with a bear on the third Monday after Whitsun, and it is prohibited for more than 5 persons to gather in one location disguised as rocks. Both crimes are punishable by being made to walk the length of Burnley High Street with nettles between the 3rd and 4th toes.
Comments
It was discovered by two teenagers Will and Ched who were trying to successfully pass a history class.
The teenagers sucessfully went back in time to bring famous historical figures such a Napoleon, Joan of Arc and Socarates to the present day, unfortunately due to complications coming back from collecting Sigmund Freud the whole of Burnley has been stuck in the 1900s ever since.
The reason for this is the fear of a misunderstanding when someone mentions the name of the town.
this was commonly known as 'turd moor'.
over time it has changed to the current 'turf moor'. this was down to the use of the 'qwerty' typewriter with the locals continuously hitting the 'F' key instead of the 'D' with their webbed fingers.
Awful bunch, but the "Long Side" was utterly beautiful. Like the Kippax and Leed Road. Sadly I never saw the old Valley East Terrace, but I imagine it was equally captivating.
Winger, if I remember.