A woman can review pubs, but it really ought to be a woman who likes beer. The old PubSpy used to be quite amusing, as I'm not the posh wine bar type I don't bother with the new one.
Who's going to be the first to say it? A woman can't review pubs
It's like me trying to review handbags.
Sure, I can spot a handbag. I can tell you what colour it is. I can even tell you if it looks in good nick and is therefore new, or is a bit old and battered and could do with replacing.
But other than that I know fcuk all about them or why one would be "better" than another.
I'm sure this may sound sexist to some - and there's no doubt there will be women who "get" what a good pub is, but if I read about "nice comfy leather sofas" - or a lack of - in a PUB review then it's clear to me that the reviewer deosn't really "get" what a traditional pub is all about. Mores the pity.
Case in point. Here's the review of The Dolphin from the link above. Can anyone tell me what's wrong with it? One thing above all else.
WHEN it’s cold, wet and dark outside, there’s nothing better than cosying up in a pub.
And if the place happens to date back to the 18th century, have a 1930’s mock-Tudor exterior, a garden full of sculptures, and mouth-watering onion rings then be still my beating heart, because it’s not just the cholesterol which is making me woozy with joy.
The earliest mention of the pub is in the parish register of St Mary’s, in Lewisham, in 1733 mentioning a “Richard Peke from Sippenham, ye Dolphin” who is thought to have been a farmer as well as a publican.
The Tudor-style exterior was done in 1936, making the large pub even more impressive in an otherwise desolate Sydenham Road.
The inside doesn’t disappoint with plenty of space, lots of places to sit and stylish wood panelling. More unusual flourishes included a tableau of 1940’s pin-ups in the toilets.
There were other customers propping up the bar and taking advantage of the armchairs and although I was sitting alone for some time, I didn’t feel uncomfortable.
I tried the Rekorderlig Pear Cider, which I’d never heard of before, and it was too sweet but still went down pretty easily.
The wine list was varied and well priced, the cheapest bottle costing £15.90.
There was a good range of pub classics and more adventurous meals with prices being on the expensive side for main dishes but quite reasonable for sharer plates.
I went for the rump steak with chips and onion rings, grilled tomato and blue cheese butter (£14.25).
The steak was good but was more rare than medium-rare so a little underdone for my taste however the blue cheese butter was delicious.
My companion went for the 8oz Homemade beef burger with spicy smoked chipotle mayo, crispy smoked bacon, melted Applewood cheese, served with fries (£10.50).
I must say I was a little jealous and ended up eating more than I should have of his burger which he was none too happy about. The meat was tender and juicy, perfectly complemented by the spiciness of the chipotle mayo.
The fries were also excellent and a lot better than many of the recently-opened, much-lauded burger joints.
The onion rings were my personal highlight: crisp, full of flavour and not too greasy.
It was too cold to sit in the garden but it looked amazing and includes sculpture and walkways. I will definitely be back there in the summer months to take advantage.
There is also a range of board games which the staff dutifully bring to your table on request.
I recommend The Dolphin, which is only five minutes from Sydenham Station, but feels like a mini-oasis of country pub charm.
Case in point. Here's the review of The Dolphin from the link above. Can anyone tell me what's wrong with it? One thing above all else.
WHEN it’s cold, wet and dark outside, there’s nothing better than cosying up in a pub.
And if the place happens to date back to the 18th century, have a 1930’s mock-Tudor exterior, a garden full of sculptures, and mouth-watering onion rings then be still my beating heart, because it’s not just the cholesterol which is making me woozy with joy.
The earliest mention of the pub is in the parish register of St Mary’s, in Lewisham, in 1733 mentioning a “Richard Peke from Sippenham, ye Dolphin” who is thought to have been a farmer as well as a publican.
The Tudor-style exterior was done in 1936, making the large pub even more impressive in an otherwise desolate Sydenham Road.
The inside doesn’t disappoint with plenty of space, lots of places to sit and stylish wood panelling. More unusual flourishes included a tableau of 1940’s pin-ups in the toilets.
There were other customers propping up the bar and taking advantage of the armchairs and although I was sitting alone for some time, I didn’t feel uncomfortable.
I tried the Rekorderlig Pear Cider, which I’d never heard of before, and it was too sweet but still went down pretty easily.
The wine list was varied and well priced, the cheapest bottle costing £15.90.
There was a good range of pub classics and more adventurous meals with prices being on the expensive side for main dishes but quite reasonable for sharer plates.
I went for the rump steak with chips and onion rings, grilled tomato and blue cheese butter (£14.25).
The steak was good but was more rare than medium-rare so a little underdone for my taste however the blue cheese butter was delicious.
My companion went for the 8oz Homemade beef burger with spicy smoked chipotle mayo, crispy smoked bacon, melted Applewood cheese, served with fries (£10.50).
I must say I was a little jealous and ended up eating more than I should have of his burger which he was none too happy about. The meat was tender and juicy, perfectly complemented by the spiciness of the chipotle mayo.
The fries were also excellent and a lot better than many of the recently-opened, much-lauded burger joints.
The onion rings were my personal highlight: crisp, full of flavour and not too greasy.
It was too cold to sit in the garden but it looked amazing and includes sculpture and walkways. I will definitely be back there in the summer months to take advantage.
There is also a range of board games which the staff dutifully bring to your table on request.
I recommend The Dolphin, which is only five minutes from Sydenham Station, but feels like a mini-oasis of country pub charm.
All sounds great but does it serve a great pint of Timothy Taylors 'Landlord' bet the stupid bint wouldn't know what I'm talking about.
The review - and bear in mind it's a pub review, not a restaurant review - mentions the history of the place (a big tick from me), the gneral decor (important), armchairs (not so important to most - you shouldn't go to a pub just because it's got an armchair!), Pear cider (well, if that floats your boat), the extensive wine list (again, fine if that floats your boat - but you might be better off in a wine bar if wine is your thing), the food (important, depending on why you went in there in the first place), more about the food (ok, we got it the first time), even more about the food (seriously, this bird thinks she's Egon Ronay or someone!), the garden (handy for the summer - not much use for a review in winter) and board games (ffs - board games?).
But there's absolutely fcuk all about the beer. What do they serve? Lagers/bitters? Is it tied or feehouse? Is the beer well kept? Is it pricey? Do the bar staff work the bar well? Are they friendly?
In actual fact it's a review about some bird ordering grub then nicking stuff off her boyfriends plate. Bet she went home and made herself throw up afterwards.
Been to the Woodman in farnboro a couple of times after a day on the lash at horseracing, 10 blokes bollocksed playing trivial pursuit is crackin value.
I notice there are no comments on there, and the opportunity to comment is "closed". I can only guess that many more people pointed the same thing Offy did, but possibly less eruditely...
YOU haven’t even got the through the door and you’re already being warned.
The threatening message makes it clear you shouldn’t even think about using the toilets if you’re not going to buy a drink.
Believe me - If you did visit the toilets first, you wouldn’t even consider staying to buy a drink.
Being as Irish as it is, just about everything inside The Bull Tavern is green and the way it’s decorated, you could be forgiven for thinking a jumble sale had just finished, particularly on the stage.
And, just to confuse any newcomers further still, there are no signs on anything.
Trying to find the toilets which are a strict ‘no-go area’ for non-locals, I found myself in the kitchen. Returning from the kitchen, I decided although £3 for spag bol and garlic bread is incredibly cheap, I wouldn’t be sampling the food.
It’s one huge pub with a number of doors leading off the bar.I presume the lack of notices is a plan to further confuse non-locals and keep them out of the facilities.
The gents, by the way, are miniscule and scruffy with stacks of broken and missing tiles.
The ladies, I later discovered, sits directly behind the quiz machine (the intelligence of the locals was confirmed by the fact I won £7.90 and I never win on these things).
My attention was first attracted away from the Colour of Money game by an extremely rude woman with short cropped silver hair.
Rather than politely ask me to move so her friend with a walking stick could visit the ladies, she simply gesticulated in an offensive way.
And believe me, her manners just got worse after this.
Her friend, however, was extremely polite and pleasant and thanked me kindly for holding the door open.
Having faced the hag from hell, I started to notice the rest of the clientele.
Most were littered along the bar, one had a Liverpool FC bag casually slung over his shoulder, two older people had moved away from the bar and were surreptitiously holding hands – surely an illicit affair.
But this is a massive pub and your senses are smashed by the greenness and massive flags everywhere, so it’s difficult to concentrate on individuals.
I decided I could handle one more pint of Kronie without having to brave the gents again, so spent another £3.60.
But I downed this fairly quickly as the TV was still showing monotonous snooker and it was six days until the Wednesday quiz evening (which surely I would have won).
By the time I got my second pint, the barstaff had changed shift.
The beardy, very pleasant man had taken up a seat on the customer side of the bar and his new colleague was serving and swearing in equal measure.
I have to admit his sweary vocabulary, even over his pronounced accent, was impressive.
I think I’ll ignore the fact this place is called both O’Flynns and The Bull, choosing to say simply - it’s Irish.
If you want the only jumble sale with mass swearing, a rude, cropped haired harridan and cheap food served from what looks like the toilets, this one’s for you.
The Bull Tavern, Vincent Road, Woolwich
Decor: ** (like a jumble sale)
Drink: ** (the basics are covered)
Price: *** (£3.60 for a pint of Kronenbourg)
Atmosphere: ** (like thousands of Irish pubs in Ireland)
Staff: *** (the beard was great, the other fellow swore a lot)
It is time for this incarnation of PubSpy to hang up her pad and keep the bitchy comments forever to herself.
Having upset - and delighted - enough landlords for a lifetime, it is time to saddle up and gallop off to pastures new.
But before I trot into the sunset, I will leave you with this last tale.
My dear colleague and I were so hungry we could eat a horse – but sadly, there was none available at The Chequers in Bromley.
This cosy, barn-like pub is fresh out of pony, having sent their beef off to the lab to be analysed.
The busy barmaid was incredibly apologetic, but beef was firmly off the menu and I had to rethink my initial choice of sizzling enchiladas.
And despite the disappointment, it’s good to see The Chequers being open and honest about their grub.
Samples have come back negative for horsey, so 100 per cent cow will be available for us to graze on soon.
Instead, we went for the safe option of yummy chicken fajitas (£8.49).
And if you’re feeling particularly greedy, there’s an option to pay a couple of quid more to make your portion a giant one - tuck in fatties!
Low ceilings, wooden beams and bare brickwork give this place a warm, snug feel.
I could happily relax in here all day – especially if they lit the fire.
We were extremely impressed by the staff here.
The slightly flustered barmaid handled demanding old regulars, desperate for a top up, with a firm but fair tone.
“Of course you can have another Guinness,” she told one very thirst pensioner.
“But let me serve this lovely lady (me, of course) first.”
Deceptively spacious, the pub became very busy at lunch time with a wake being held in one room, regulars waiting for Guinness and IPA at the bar and families sitting down to eat.
Seeing the mourning family reminiscing about their lost loved one got me and my friend talking about our own dearly missed relatives.
And although it’s lovely to remember all the wonderful things they said and did for us, sometimes it leaves you feeling a little bit tender.
So when I spotted a four-year-old girl fall off her seat, I was grateful for the light relief.
However sad it is to say goodbye to someone close, or something (like a job), we must remember life goes on - never forget to laugh at it.
And if it sometimes drives you to drink, The Chequers offers the perfect surroundings.
They also boast an incredibly stunning waitress who, with her tall and slender physique and striking dark locks, should probably be a model instead of a panicked barmaid covered in cappuccino froth.
There’s plenty going on here too, with quiz nights and music gigs in the diary.
Keep up with upcoming events on their Facebook page at Facebook.com/TheChequersBromley
Address: The Chequers, 177 Southborough Lane, Bromley, BR2 8AP
Decor *** (low ceilings, warm and cosy)
Drink *** (loads of beers and wines to choose from)
Price *** (a little expensive but worth it)
Food *** (satisfying comfort food)
Atmosphere *** (very welcoming, buzzing at lunch time)
THIS week the quest for love has taken Pub Spy all the way to the northern edge of NewsShopperland.
The Pilot Inn sits on the Greenwich Peninsula in sight of the O2 Arena and looks a bit forlorn in one of those ridiculous unseasonal sleet showers we’ve been having.
But as soon as I step inside the River Way boozer things improve with a promptly delivered hot pot of tea (£1.75) to warm me up while I wait for my lunch to arrive.
While eagerly anticipating my open club sandwich (£8.25), I take a window seat and peruse the adjacent reading material.
Ideal Home magazine boasts it has “932 ideas for beautiful homes”.
I don’t see how anyone could need quite that many interior design suggestions, especially when you are single and bitter and alone like PubSpy.
On to the book shelf and Prescription for Murder: The True Story of Doctor Harold Frederick Shipman proves a bit of a buzz kill.
Luckily, tucked away in the corner, I come across the appropriately named In the Shadow of the Dome: The Story of Pilot Football Club.
This potted history tells me the Pilot Inn had a Sunday league pub team from 1963 to 1993 for whom John Lovesy scored 32 goals in 26 games during the 1983 to 1984 season.
Thoughts of such a Messi-esque strike rate cheer me up just in time for the food, which is again nice and prompt and is swiftly dispatched.
While it would have been nice to have the extra bit of bread traditionally required to make a sandwich and some slightly crispier chips, there is plenty of chicken, bacon and even a fried egg to get my teeth into.
All that remains is to find my partner for life but unfortunately there aren’t many options on a cold Thursday lunchtime.
The barmaids are very friendly however and I overhear one of them regaling a group of regulars with tales of yesterday’s driving lesson.
She boasts proudly of what was apparently her twelfth session: “I didn’t hit anyone and there was a kid on a scooter which my driving instructor didn’t see but I did.
“I was a lot more relaxed yesterday.”
This is good news for the barmaid, the boy on the bike and motorists everywhere.
Still, I can’t help thinking there is a driving instructor out there who needs to go to Specsavers as I jump in the car and pull out gingerly from this decent watering hole in that weird wasteland around the 02.
SERVICE ***** Friendly and helpful
DECOR **** Plenty of maritime-themed tat
FOOD **** Even with the word ‘open’ you can’t call it a sandwich with just one piece of bread
ATMOSPHERE **** Nice crowd and thankfully no music
PRICE *** Leaning towards the expensive (Carling £3.69 and London Pride £3.49)
DRINK **** Good range and they have decent cider on tap (Aspall at £4.35)
Thanks for posting that. Can't agree with their choice of The Lord Northbrook in Lee as the best pub around though, The refurbishment as made it sterile and I can't think of anything worse than walking into a pub and seeing someone eating their dinner.
I quite liked the old Northbrook...we left Lee before the re-ferb and haven't been back since.
Smacks of someone trying to be a bit too clever by half and again missing out what surely is one of the standard pre-requisites of any pub review - i.e. what's the bloody drink like? (and I don't mean the tea!)
Joke paper. The one thing worth reading in it was the PubSpy reviews. Now it's not even got that.
You have to admit though, although the times they are a changing, it doesn't really make a lot of sense for that sort of review in the Hopper, does it?
Comments
And 'stand up comedy'
Sure, I can spot a handbag. I can tell you what colour it is. I can even tell you if it looks in good nick and is therefore new, or is a bit old and battered and could do with replacing.
But other than that I know fcuk all about them or why one would be "better" than another.
I'm sure this may sound sexist to some - and there's no doubt there will be women who "get" what a good pub is, but if I read about "nice comfy leather sofas" - or a lack of - in a PUB review then it's clear to me that the reviewer deosn't really "get" what a traditional pub is all about. Mores the pity.
WHEN it’s cold, wet and dark outside, there’s nothing better than cosying up in a pub.
And if the place happens to date back to the 18th century, have a 1930’s mock-Tudor exterior, a garden full of sculptures, and mouth-watering onion rings then be still my beating heart, because it’s not just the cholesterol which is making me woozy with joy.
The earliest mention of the pub is in the parish register of St Mary’s, in Lewisham, in 1733 mentioning a “Richard Peke from Sippenham, ye Dolphin” who is thought to have been a farmer as well as a publican.
The Tudor-style exterior was done in 1936, making the large pub even more impressive in an otherwise desolate Sydenham Road.
The inside doesn’t disappoint with plenty of space, lots of places to sit and stylish wood panelling. More unusual flourishes included a tableau of 1940’s pin-ups in the toilets.
There were other customers propping up the bar and taking advantage of the armchairs and although I was sitting alone for some time, I didn’t feel uncomfortable.
I tried the Rekorderlig Pear Cider, which I’d never heard of before, and it was too sweet but still went down pretty easily.
The wine list was varied and well priced, the cheapest bottle costing £15.90.
There was a good range of pub classics and more adventurous meals with prices being on the expensive side for main dishes but quite reasonable for sharer plates.
I went for the rump steak with chips and onion rings, grilled tomato and blue cheese butter (£14.25).
The steak was good but was more rare than medium-rare so a little underdone for my taste however the blue cheese butter was delicious.
My companion went for the 8oz Homemade beef burger with spicy smoked chipotle mayo, crispy smoked bacon, melted Applewood cheese, served with fries (£10.50).
I must say I was a little jealous and ended up eating more than I should have of his burger which he was none too happy about. The meat was tender and juicy, perfectly complemented by the spiciness of the chipotle mayo.
The fries were also excellent and a lot better than many of the recently-opened, much-lauded burger joints.
The onion rings were my personal highlight: crisp, full of flavour and not too greasy.
It was too cold to sit in the garden but it looked amazing and includes sculpture and walkways. I will definitely be back there in the summer months to take advantage.
There is also a range of board games which the staff dutifully bring to your table on request.
I recommend The Dolphin, which is only five minutes from Sydenham Station, but feels like a mini-oasis of country pub charm.
The review - and bear in mind it's a pub review, not a restaurant review - mentions the history of the place (a big tick from me), the gneral decor (important), armchairs (not so important to most - you shouldn't go to a pub just because it's got an armchair!), Pear cider (well, if that floats your boat), the extensive wine list (again, fine if that floats your boat - but you might be better off in a wine bar if wine is your thing), the food (important, depending on why you went in there in the first place), more about the food (ok, we got it the first time), even more about the food (seriously, this bird thinks she's Egon Ronay or someone!), the garden (handy for the summer - not much use for a review in winter) and board games (ffs - board games?).
But there's absolutely fcuk all about the beer. What do they serve? Lagers/bitters? Is it tied or feehouse? Is the beer well kept? Is it pricey? Do the bar staff work the bar well? Are they friendly?
In actual fact it's a review about some bird ordering grub then nicking stuff off her boyfriends plate. Bet she went home and made herself throw up afterwards.
2/10
I thought people went to pubs to drink beer and eat food?
Food !!!!!!!!!! ;0)
PUBSPY'S VIEW
YOU haven’t even got the through the door and you’re already being warned.
The threatening message makes it clear you shouldn’t even think about using the toilets if you’re not going to buy a drink.
Believe me - If you did visit the toilets first, you wouldn’t even consider staying to buy a drink.
Being as Irish as it is, just about everything inside The Bull Tavern is green and the way it’s decorated, you could be forgiven for thinking a jumble sale had just finished, particularly on the stage.
And, just to confuse any newcomers further still, there are no signs on anything.
Trying to find the toilets which are a strict ‘no-go area’ for non-locals, I found myself in the kitchen. Returning from the kitchen, I decided although £3 for spag bol and garlic bread is incredibly cheap, I wouldn’t be sampling the food.
It’s one huge pub with a number of doors leading off the bar.I presume the lack of notices is a plan to further confuse non-locals and keep them out of the facilities.
The gents, by the way, are miniscule and scruffy with stacks of broken and missing tiles.
The ladies, I later discovered, sits directly behind the quiz machine (the intelligence of the locals was confirmed by the fact I won £7.90 and I never win on these things).
My attention was first attracted away from the Colour of Money game by an extremely rude woman with short cropped silver hair.
Rather than politely ask me to move so her friend with a walking stick could visit the ladies, she simply gesticulated in an offensive way.
And believe me, her manners just got worse after this.
Her friend, however, was extremely polite and pleasant and thanked me kindly for holding the door open.
Having faced the hag from hell, I started to notice the rest of the clientele.
Most were littered along the bar, one had a Liverpool FC bag casually slung over his shoulder, two older people had moved away from the bar and were surreptitiously holding hands – surely an illicit affair.
But this is a massive pub and your senses are smashed by the greenness and massive flags everywhere, so it’s difficult to concentrate on individuals.
I decided I could handle one more pint of Kronie without having to brave the gents again, so spent another £3.60.
But I downed this fairly quickly as the TV was still showing monotonous snooker and it was six days until the Wednesday quiz evening (which surely I would have won).
By the time I got my second pint, the barstaff had changed shift.
The beardy, very pleasant man had taken up a seat on the customer side of the bar and his new colleague was serving and swearing in equal measure.
I have to admit his sweary vocabulary, even over his pronounced accent,
was impressive.
I think I’ll ignore the fact this place is called both O’Flynns and The Bull, choosing to say simply - it’s Irish.
If you want the only jumble sale with mass swearing, a rude, cropped haired harridan and cheap food served from what looks like the toilets, this one’s for you.
The Bull Tavern, Vincent Road, Woolwich
Decor: ** (like a jumble sale)
Drink: ** (the basics are covered)
Price: *** (£3.60 for a pint of Kronenbourg)
Atmosphere: ** (like thousands of Irish pubs in Ireland)
Staff: *** (the beard was great, the other fellow swore a lot)
It is time for this incarnation of PubSpy to hang up her pad and keep the bitchy comments forever to herself.
Having upset - and delighted - enough landlords for a lifetime, it is time to saddle up and gallop off to pastures new.
But before I trot into the sunset, I will leave you with this last tale.
My dear colleague and I were so hungry we could eat a horse – but sadly, there was none available at The Chequers in Bromley.
This cosy, barn-like pub is fresh out of pony, having sent their beef off to the lab to be analysed.
The busy barmaid was incredibly apologetic, but beef was firmly off the menu and I had to rethink my initial choice of sizzling enchiladas.
And despite the disappointment, it’s good to see The Chequers being open and honest about their grub.
Samples have come back negative for horsey, so 100 per cent cow will be available for us to graze on soon.
Instead, we went for the safe option of yummy chicken fajitas (£8.49).
And if you’re feeling particularly greedy, there’s an option to pay a couple of quid more to make your portion a giant one - tuck in fatties!
Low ceilings, wooden beams and bare brickwork give this place a warm, snug feel.
I could happily relax in here all day – especially if they lit the fire.
We were extremely impressed by the staff here.
The slightly flustered barmaid handled demanding old regulars, desperate for a top up, with a firm but fair tone.
“Of course you can have another Guinness,” she told one very thirst pensioner.
“But let me serve this lovely lady (me, of course) first.”
Deceptively spacious, the pub became very busy at lunch time with a wake being held in one room, regulars waiting for Guinness and IPA at the bar and families sitting down to eat.
Seeing the mourning family reminiscing about their lost loved one got me and my friend talking about our own dearly missed relatives.
And although it’s lovely to remember all the wonderful things they said and did for us, sometimes it leaves you feeling a little bit tender.
So when I spotted a four-year-old girl fall off her seat, I was grateful for the light relief.
However sad it is to say goodbye to someone close, or something (like a job), we must remember life goes on - never forget to laugh at it.
And if it sometimes drives you to drink, The Chequers offers the perfect surroundings.
They also boast an incredibly stunning waitress who, with her tall and slender physique and striking dark locks, should probably be a model instead of a panicked barmaid covered in cappuccino froth.
There’s plenty going on here too, with quiz nights and music gigs in the diary.
Keep up with upcoming events on their Facebook page at Facebook.com/TheChequersBromley
Address: The Chequers, 177 Southborough Lane, Bromley, BR2 8AP
Decor *** (low ceilings, warm and cosy)
Drink *** (loads of beers and wines to choose from)
Price *** (a little expensive but worth it)
Food *** (satisfying comfort food)
Atmosphere *** (very welcoming, buzzing at lunch time)
THIS week the quest for love has taken Pub Spy all the way to the northern edge of NewsShopperland.
The Pilot Inn sits on the Greenwich Peninsula in sight of the O2 Arena and looks a bit forlorn in one of those ridiculous unseasonal sleet showers we’ve been having.
But as soon as I step inside the River Way boozer things improve with a promptly delivered hot pot of tea (£1.75) to warm me up while I wait for my lunch to arrive.
While eagerly anticipating my open club sandwich (£8.25), I take a window seat and peruse the adjacent reading material.
Ideal Home magazine boasts it has “932 ideas for beautiful homes”.
I don’t see how anyone could need quite that many interior design suggestions, especially when you are single and bitter and alone like PubSpy.
On to the book shelf and Prescription for Murder: The True Story of Doctor Harold Frederick Shipman proves a bit of a buzz kill.
Luckily, tucked away in the corner, I come across the appropriately named In the Shadow of the Dome: The Story of Pilot Football Club.
This potted history tells me the Pilot Inn had a Sunday league pub team from 1963 to 1993 for whom John Lovesy scored 32 goals in 26 games during the 1983 to 1984 season.
Thoughts of such a Messi-esque strike rate cheer me up just in time for the food, which is again nice and prompt and is swiftly dispatched.
While it would have been nice to have the extra bit of bread traditionally required to make a sandwich and some slightly crispier chips, there is plenty of chicken, bacon and even a fried egg to get my teeth into.
All that remains is to find my partner for life but unfortunately there aren’t many options on a cold Thursday lunchtime.
The barmaids are very friendly however and I overhear one of them regaling a group of regulars with tales of yesterday’s driving lesson.
She boasts proudly of what was apparently her twelfth session: “I didn’t hit anyone and there was a kid on a scooter which my driving instructor didn’t see but I did.
“I was a lot more relaxed yesterday.”
This is good news for the barmaid, the boy on the bike and motorists everywhere.
Still, I can’t help thinking there is a driving instructor out there who needs to go to Specsavers as I jump in the car and pull out gingerly from this decent watering hole in that weird wasteland around the 02.
SERVICE ***** Friendly and helpful
DECOR **** Plenty of maritime-themed tat
FOOD **** Even with the word ‘open’ you can’t call it a sandwich with just one piece of bread
ATMOSPHERE **** Nice crowd and thankfully no music
PRICE *** Leaning towards the expensive (Carling £3.69 and London Pride £3.49)
DRINK **** Good range and they have decent cider on tap (Aspall at £4.35)
Just what you want when you go to a pub!
Smacks of someone trying to be a bit too clever by half and again missing out what surely is one of the standard pre-requisites of any pub review - i.e. what's the bloody drink like? (and I don't mean the tea!)
Joke paper. The one thing worth reading in it was the PubSpy reviews. Now it's not even got that.
(But I fully agree - at least not in a local rag. If Cosmo want to start doing pub reviews from the female perspective then fine!)