The Mysteries of Woman: Handbag tales
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stonewallpenalty said:
. And Suzi - what sort of man would need a mint, a tissue, a brolly or a plaster?
Ha ha ha. Funny as fook this thread.
No sort of bloke would need any of that . Wallet , keys - thats it0 -
Surely if I needed the brolly out of her bag she would already be using it.
Shag has it right - wallet/money and keys (and in my case an inhaler)
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No johnnies? Spot the married dudes.0
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Today for the cricket. I carried; tickets, fold away bags to put alcohol and snacks in. door keys, sunglasses case, newspaper. all in my bag. all his. then when we got the alcohol out the bag he asked me if i had a bottle opener.
re the earlier items; the map thing- my husband doesn't drive and therefore doesn't 'get' directions so if i do a route map rather than waiting until the day to 'wing it' i carry it. i don't carry one every day, but i was just thinking of loads of things that i usually have to remember.
tissues, always have a small pack in my bag. countless times he's eaten something and dropped it down him ($hit hand / eye co-ordination) or he'll sneeze and ask me for tissues.
I have a hooded coat and hate using umbrellas, but he hates the rain and left his 'man size' brolly in a pub one night when hammered.
mints, i'll give you that, he doesn't like mints also car keys, they're mine because he can't drive.
my bag is like the mary poppins one without the lamp. prepared for every eventuality. except when needing a bottle opener for the cricket ffs.
i have told him i've written this in case he reads it tomorrow - hello! love you pest!
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Me "Where are the Theatre tickets?"
Missus "I think they're in my handbag."
(Sighs) With reluctance pick up handbag and waste 5 minutes trying to find tickets - It's a bit like the Tardis in there.
Me "They're not in your handbag."
Missus "Try the other bag."
(gnashes teeth) With patience running low repeat scenario with brown handbag found on the other side of the room.
Me "I can't find the b****y tickets."
Missus (coming down the stairs. "I've got them. They were in the knicker drawer."0 -
Before I leave the house, I do my 4-point check of Keys, Phone, Fags & wallet. I can survive with only these items. 99% of items in womens handbags are for "just in case" moments and they justify carrying them when the said item comes in handy, which the law of averages states that moment will come if you carry 1001 useless items for 10 years.
My girlfriend asked me a few weeks ago if I could get something out of her bag for her. I told her to "do one". I'd rather stick my hand into a sharks mouth................0 -
lolcharltonkeston said:A good many years back my brother in law put a house brick in his mothers hand bag, carried it around for 2 days.
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Too scared to delve into the depths of my wife's handbag, all I know is it keeps my Grandaughter quiet for hours!0
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Exactly. GF says, look in my handbag. Not likely says I, it's your space (mantalk for I'm not rummaging through that lot!).tangoflash said:
My girlfriend asked me a few weeks ago if I could get something out of her bag for her. I told her to "do one". I'd rather stick my hand into a sharks mouth................0 -
No mention of a cricket scorebook in here. Hmm.suzisausage said:Today for the cricket. I carried; tickets, fold away bags to put alcohol and snacks in. door keys, sunglasses case, newspaper. all in my bag. all his. then when we got the alcohol out the bag he asked me if i had a bottle opener.
re the earlier items; the map thing- my husband doesn't drive and therefore doesn't 'get' directions so if i do a route map rather than waiting until the day to 'wing it' i carry it. i don't carry one every day, but i was just thinking of loads of things that i usually have to remember.
tissues, always have a small pack in my bag. countless times he's eaten something and dropped it down him ($hit hand / eye co-ordination) or he'll sneeze and ask me for tissues.
I have a hooded coat and hate using umbrellas, but he hates the rain and left his 'man size' brolly in a pub one night when hammered.
mints, i'll give you that, he doesn't like mints also car keys, they're mine because he can't drive.
my bag is like the mary poppins one without the lamp. prepared for every eventuality. except when needing a bottle opener for the cricket ffs.
i have told him i've written this in case he reads it tomorrow - hello! love you pest!
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Suze your mention of the word Map means we cannot include you in this study, sorry..
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Ha, so true !ValleyGary said:
putting a letter 'on the side' is putting it away. Me, the owner of said letter, knows its current location.Curb_It said:Bournemouth Addick said:
Absolutely this...for example my missus puts the clean clothes away (after I've ironed them so don't start!). Now, you would think that they would always go back in the same drawer or wotnot each time wouldn't you but no...far better to lull me into a false sense of security that I actually know were stuff is before deciding that it lives somewhere else, usually completely unrelated to that item of clothing.ValleyGary said:Men are shit at looking for things because the woman has usually moved it. but cant remember to where.
Fug me it's like the Primark sale round at my gaff some mornings trying to find stuff.
Well here's a little tip. Put your own clothes away in future. Problem would be solved.
Goes for all of you moaning about stuff being tidied away. Put it away yourself. Not hard.
thats until a woman 'puts it away in the drawer'....but what drawer?..i dont know because i put it on the side where i knew where it was.
Me: where have you put my train pass
Wife: i've not touched your train pass. Why would i touch your train pass ?
Me: you have, because its not where i left it
Wife: well where did leave it
Me: On the mantlepiece
Wife: Well then yes, i probably did put it away
Me: i know that. But where exactly is 'away' ?
Wife: I don't know. If you put things away in their proper place, we wouldn't have this problem.
Me: It wasn't a problem until you moved it to somewhere you can't remember !
etc etc
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Deccers, rise up centurion.suzisausage said:
countless times he's eaten something and dropped it down him ($hit hand / eye co-ordination)
I cold handle the completely being mothered aspects of her post, but not the above.
Not Deccers The Cat, the finest goalie in the west !!
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AFKABartram said:
Deccers, rise up centurion.suzisausage said:
countless times he's eaten something and dropped it down him ($hit hand / eye co-ordination)
I cold handle the completely being mothered aspects of her post, but not the above.
Not Deccers The Cat, the finest goalie in the west !!
Yeah, give her right hander to remind her your hand eye coordination is fine.0 -
Think he might then be called DecNoSauage.DaveMehmet said:AFKABartram said:
Deccers, rise up centurion.suzisausage said:
countless times he's eaten something and dropped it down him ($hit hand / eye co-ordination)
I cold handle the completely being mothered aspects of her post, but not the above.
Not Deccers The Cat, the finest goalie in the west !!
Yeah, give her right hander to remind her your hand eye coordination is fine.0 -
he could ruin me on here too as I am quite clearly the worst housewife ever with regards to domestic duties. thankfully he's too busy these days to visit charlton life and defend himself - oops -I do feel bad although I was posting that as he was sitting next to me and I told him what I was writing!0
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Not meaning to bring the tone down on here but bloody hell Susie lol...thats too much for a Friday afternoonsuzisausage said:he could ruin me on here too ...
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not having a filthy mind - there is nothing wrong with what i've posted!0
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John boy
First thing i done when i read the he could ruin me post was spit my coffee over the floor
Just shows how different men and women think0 -
I'm glad I wasnt the only one!nth london addick said:John boy
First thing i done when i read the he could ruin me post was spit my coffee over the floor
Just shows how different men and women think
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So Suzi helped big balls NLA spill his beans !!!!nth london addick said:John boy
First thing i done when i read the he could ruin me post was spit my coffee over the floor
Just shows how different men and women think
This site needs moderating !!!
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I was concerned about the domestic duties thing too, tell me that isn't a euphamism0
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Can anyone explain how the contents of a lady's handbag when removed occupy a volume approximately 300% greater than the handbag's actual capacity ? Handbags must be the accessory equivalent of the Tardis ...0
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Never seen Mary Poppins?GlassHalfFull said:Can anyone explain how the contents of a lady's handbag when removed occupy a volume approximately 300% greater than the handbag's actual capacity ? Handbags must be the accessory equivalent of the Tardis ...
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Didn't Gladstone have a big one ?0
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Hung like a horse (rumour has it)Fanny Fanackapan said:Didn't Gladstone have a big one ?
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