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Limericks

Is there a name in football that is better-suited to being immortalised in a Limerick than that of Middlesbrough manager Aitor Karanka?

And if there is, who is it, and what's the Limerick?
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Comments

  • edited January 2014
    Boro boss Aitor Kranka
    Thought a home win was a banker
    But Chris Powell sowed some doubt
    And Solly lead the rout
    and now Boro fans think Aitor is a decent bloke but tactically naive coach who doesn't know when to make a substitution

  • Boro boss Aitor Kranka
    Thought a home win was a banker
    But Chris Powell sowed some doubt
    And Solly lead the rout
    and now Boro fans think Aitor is a decent bloke but tactically naive coach who doesn't know when to make a substitution

    ...and we should be beating teams like Charlton...

    D'oh !
  • There was an old groundsman called Powell
    Who was constantly on the prowl
    For a football pitch cover
    And something or other
    That could take the place of a towel
  • How about one for our loanee Asrit?
  • Was it clear to us all that we need...
    A fresh-faced young midfield Swede?
    He was signed by our backer
    He's a midfield-attacker
    Up the table we hope he can lead
  • There was a young lady called myrtle
    Who had an affair with a turtle
    and what's more abominable
    a swelling abdominal
    Proved to myrtle, the turtle, was fertile
  • ^^ PMSL
  • There was a young lady from Bude
    Who went for a swim in the lake
    A man in a punt
    Stuck a pole in her ear
    And said 'you can't swim here its private'.
  • Not for the squeamish:

    There once was a vampire called Mabel,
    whose periods were heavy but stable.
    One night by full moon
    she pulled out a spoon
    but said, "I could do with a ladle"!
  • The rain in south London keeps fallin'
    So the pitch at the Valley's appallin'
    The investor from Brussels
    Flexed his financial muscles
    And covered it all in tarpaulin
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  • The right reverend Bishop of Birmingham
    Liked to roger young girls while confirming 'em
    He spent most of his day,
    Just rogering away
    as he pumped his episcopal sperm in 'em.
  • I like the alternative silly ones...

    There was a young Man from Dundee
    Who got stuck on the neck by a wasp

    Little Jack Horner sat in a corner
    Cos he had a square arse

    Humpty Dumpty sat on a Wall
    Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
    All the King's horses and all the King's men
    had scrambled egg for breakfast.

  • Their once was a mouse called Keith
    Who circumcised men with his teeth
    He didn't do it for leisure
    Or sexual pleasure
    He done it for the cheese underneath
  • When asked what she liked most of of all
    'A penis' said the lady of Gaul
    Her husband said 'No,
    It is not pronounced so
    It's 'appiness as I recall'
  • There was a young fella from Kent
    Whose tool was exceedingly bent
    to save himself trouble
    he stuck it in double
    and instead of coming, he went
  • There was a young man from Devizes
    Whose balls were of differing sizes
    One was so small
    It was no ball at all,
    But the other was huge and won prizes
  • there was an old fella from Belgique
    who thought his idea was unique
    he loans players between clubs
    who turn out to be subs
    and we're not allowed to critique
  • We spent all week planning to play
    The Middlesbrough team, away
    We went up on the train
    But it started to rain
    And we found their home ground washed away
  • There was a comic called Jim D
    Who starred in celebrity BB.
    Got cuffed to a bitch called Linda,
    Surprised he never chinned her,
    But he couldn't wait to be free.
  • There was an old man called Frank,
    He never washed and he stank.
    He supported Millwall
    Which made him a fool,
    Because they're just a pile of w@&k!
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  • edited January 2014
    The game up at Donny was fowl
    and the out-crowd all started to howl,
    but none could agree
    and some couldn't see
    that the man for the job is Chris Powell!
  • A young student name Frank, from Rockingham
    Stood on the bridge at Buckingham,
    Watching the stunts of the c****s in their punts,
    and the tricks of the p****s,
    that were f*****g 'em.
  • All these Charlton supporters that howl
    Because they can't get behind Chris Powell.
    They need to get behind the team
    Let Chrissy live his dream
    Otherwise the negativity will make him fail!
  • edited January 2014
    .
  • There once was a man from madras
    With testicles made out of brass.
    When he banged them together
    They played "Stormy Weather"
    And lightning shot out of his ass.
  • There was a young man from Brighton
    Who thought he'd at last found a tight 'un.
    He said, "Oh my love,
    It fits like a glove."
    Said she, "But you're not in the right 'un."
  • Not quite a limerick, but one from a toilet wall:

    Some come here to sit and think
    Some come here to shit and stink
    but I come here to scratch my balls
    and read the writing on the walls
  • A small cockney w**k*r named Wise
    Would not take his eyes off the prize,
    But try as he may,
    No jobs came his way,
    Perhaps it was because of his size.

    (I couldn't get anything to rhyme with shortarse f*****r)
  • There was a man from Montana
    Who would do tricks for a tanner (old 6 pence)
    His favourite trick
    Was to stand on his prick
    And tighten his balls with a spanner.
  • There was an old man from Strood
    Who seemed the worlds biggest prude.
    When his wife got the horn
    He made her watch porn
    Because he secretly wanted a dude!
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