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Limericks

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  • With baited breath, the Dean undressed,
    The Vicar's wife to lie on,
    He thought it rude,
    to do it nude,
    So he kept his old school tie on.

    (Ken Dodd - Bradford Alhambra c1952)
  • There once was a plumber from Leigh
    Who was plumbing a girl by the sea
    Said the girl "Cease your plumbing
    I think someone's coming
    Said the plumber, still plumbing, "It's me."
  • There was a young man from Crewe
    Who's limericks ended on line two
  • What are those weird limericks from japan called?
    You know the ones that don't rhyme or make sense.
  • edited January 2014
    There once was a man called Rolland
    Who bought our club with a shake of a hand
    with fans hopes of success
    it turned into a mess
    It's league one and not the promised land.
  • edited January 2014
    There was a rich fella called Roland
    Who owned football clubs everywhere bar Poland
    He turned up at The Valley
    Drove us up a dark alley
    And now we're all doomed to League 1 land!
  • edited February 2014
    Here's my take on the current situation through the medium of Limerick.


    Another chapter comes to an end,
    but the club seems to be on the mend,
    A saviour was found,
    Put our feet on the ground
    and stopped us all going round the bend.

    And so we say farewell to Yann,
    An incredibly popular man
    He'd bang in the winner
    From Brighton to Pinner
    Goodbye, and thanks, from us fans.

    Along came a new Charlton team,
    To bring up a new head of steam,
    With names so bizzare,
    From near and from far,
    We hope they deliver our dream.

    A young pole with talented feet,
    Learned his trade kicking balls in the street,
    But it's never the same,
    When you can't say his name,
    So now, he's just called Polish Pete.

    The young Swede from Standard Liege,
    Looked better in red, than in beige
    He stands six foot three
    Is as tall as a tree,
    and his haircut became all the rage.

    And then we signed young Anil Koc
    Whose name, Addicks queued up to mock.
    But it didn't last long
    It was all very wrong
    We decided to just call him Jock

    Yuran Thuram-Ulien, you know,
    Is a mouthful, to say in one go
    But the French have this fame,
    For peculiar names.
    Perhaps we should all call him Joe.

    Reza Ghoochannejhad, we just can't
    Come up with a credible chant,
    Does he have a nickname?
    Which is a little bit tame,
    We'll have to find out from his aunt.

    A defender from France, Loic Nego
    was rumoured to train on just Sago
    He just shovelled it in,
    From a big yellow tin,
    Which he brought from a one legged Dago.

    (A todos los gente Espanol, lo siento)

    Sir Chris, is an incredible guy,
    Throughout this, he did not bat an eye
    But just kept his stride
    with immense Charlton pride,
    Now's NOT the time for goodbye.

    Duchatelet's another name too,
    Where the rhymes aren't that easy to do,
    But without being funny,
    He's put in his money,
    So, let's see what he can do.

    So, as the new guys come to town,
    No more Robinsons, Haydocks or Brown,
    But it's never too late,
    To step up to the plate
    and stop CAFC going down.

    And, to all you young fans, and the old 'uns
    Who've travelled from Brighton to Bolton
    As we suffer the blows
    There's one thing we all know
    .
    .
    .
    .
    We ain't Barcelona, ….....WE'RE CHARLTON
  • Here's my take on the current situation through the medium of Limerick.


    Another chapter comes to an end,
    but the club seems to be on the mend,
    A saviour was found,
    Put our feet on the ground
    and stopped us all going round the bend.

    And so we say farewell to Yann,
    An incredibly popular man
    He'd bang in the winner
    From Brighton to Pinner
    Goodbye, and thanks, from us fans.

    Along came a new Charlton team,
    To bring up a new head of steam,
    With names so bizzare,
    From near and from far,
    We hope they deliver our dream.

    A young pole with talented feet,
    Learned his trade kicking balls in the street,
    But it's never the same,
    When you can't say his name,
    So now, he's just called Polish Pete.

    The young Swede from Standard Liege,
    Looked better in red, than in beige
    He stands six foot three
    Is as tall as a tree,
    and his haircut became all the rage.

    And then we signed young Anil Koc
    Whose name, Addicks queued up to mock.
    But it didn't last long
    It was all very wrong
    We decided to just call him Jock

    Yuran Thuram-Ulien, you know,
    Is a mouthful, to say in one go
    But the French have this fame,
    For peculiar names.
    Perhaps we should all call him Joe.

    Reza Ghoochannejhad, we just can't
    Come up with a credible chant,
    Does he have a nickname?
    Which is a little bit tame,
    We'll have to find out from his aunt.

    A defender from France, Loic Nego
    was rumoured to train on just Sago
    He just shovelled it in,
    From a big yellow tin,
    Which he brought from a one legged Dago.

    (A todos los gente Espanol, lo siento)

    Sir Chris, is an incredible guy,
    Throughout this, he did not bat an eye
    But just kept his stride
    with immense Charlton pride,
    Now's NOT the time for goodbye.

    Duchatelet's another name too,
    Where the rhymes aren't that easy to do,
    But without being funny,
    He's put in his money,
    So, let's see what he can do.

    So, as the new guys come to town,
    No more Robinsons, Haydocks or Brown,
    But it's never too late,
    To step up to the plate
    and stop CAFC going down.

    And, to all you young fans, and the old 'uns
    Who've travelled from Brighton to Bolton
    As we suffer the blows
    There's one thing we all know
    .
    .
    .
    .
    We ain't Barcelona, ….....WE'RE CHARLTON

    Brilliant!!
  • What are those weird limericks from japan called?
    You know the ones that don't rhyme or make sense.


    Haiku's
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Roland Out Forever!