You need to chill out and accept that it is a shit but often necessary evil and just go with it mate.
You'll have a clutcher by the age of 30 at this rate.
What it's a necessary evil giving my seat to the same person every day when they haven't even made the effort to try and get one when there were some available. I'm more than happy to give up my seat for someone in need and often do. But I feel she's taking the piss.
If she asked me once every 2 weeks and asked others the rest of the time I really wouldn't be bothered.
As for those telling me to shout back I have a natural aversion to confrontation so I just kept my head down in the end.
I would have a word with her on the platform and ask her why she is choosing you every day, tell her she needs to mix it up and choose other people.
Or just get on down the back of the train, that would solve the problem
You're probably right. It would be easier for me. But I like to leave as late as possible to get to work on time. Being at the front of the train is the difference between getting there on time and being late. Why should I have to move because she is targeting me?
I would have a word with her on the platform and ask her why she is choosing you every day, tell her she needs to mix it up and choose other people.
Or just get on down the back of the train, that would solve the problem
You're probably right. It would be easier for me. But I like to leave as late as possible to get to work on time. Being at the front of the train is the difference between getting there on time and being late. Why should I have to move because she is targeting me?
It sounds to me that its probably worth getting the earlier train, less stress for you and you will get a seat. You will be in work early too. The early bird catches the worm and all that.
I'm confused here. Clearly if she's actually disabled, then anyone should be giving up their seat for her, but if she kept asking me for my seat specifically I'd tell her to fuck off and ask one of the dozens of other people in the carriage. I'd have absolutely fucking destroyed the woman who gave you abuse as well - a lot of folk out there willing to mind other peoples' businesses for them
Canters, you're sitting in the same carriage in the same seat everyday?
Same carriage different seat. Usually get one of the last 2 or 3 seats in it before I get kicked out. That's why I'm annoyed as if she just stood further along the platform we would often both get seats.
Tell her mate
I'd probably get told off for trying to tell a disabled person how to stand etc.
Seriously, have a word with her one morning before you get on the train. Tell her you've got back issues and can she ask someone else in future.
I'll try this...
That's the solution and if it don't work next time she asks, you have every right to let her know in front of the other passengers the story so far.
I'm confused here. Clearly if she's actually disabled, then anyone should be giving up their seat for her, but if she kept asking me for my seat specifically I'd tell her to fuck off and ask one of the dozens of other people in the carriage. I'd have absolutely fucking destroyed the woman who gave you abuse as well - a lot of folk out there willing to mind other peoples' businesses for them
That's exactly what happened. She always asks for my seat. Everyone wanted me to give up mine but no one wanted to give up their own. I get abuse for it.
Put earbuds in/headphones on, even if you're not listening to anything and keep your head down. If he bothers you, point her towards the blue priority seats.
Failing that, you could always take an injunction out on her, claiming she's harassing you and putting you under stress. Then she won't be able to get your train any more
Sorry to hear about your troubles Canters, you've been the victim of a double injustice - subjected to physical pain by this selfish hag who's probably claiming disability on the basis of a sore finger, and humiliated in front of your fellow commuters by a nosey bitch who should have been minding her own business.
A big injustice needs a big response, and it needs to happen soon, while today's event are fresh in everyone's memory. You need to give up your seat on Monday as per usual, but delicately suggest your discomfort (rubbing your back, mild groaning, etc) for the rest of the journey.
Tuesday's the big day - give up your seat, give it 10 minutes of groaning and moaning and then collapse dramatically. People will inevitably try to come to your aid - you must politely reject this, explaining (ideally whilst staring at the nosey bitch and with tears running down your face) that it's only a little pain and you don't want to be selfish.
Take the following two days off work, and then turn up at the station on Friday with a zimmer frame. You'll undoubtedly get offered a seat and the two cows who've been ruining your commute will be shamed in front of their fellow commuters, hopefully to the point where they decide to get another train from now on.
Ensure a seat everyday by continuing to use a zimmer frame until you retire.
Sorry to hear about your troubles Canters, you've been the victim of a double injustice - subjected to physical pain by this selfish hag who's probably claiming disability on the basis of a sore finger, and humiliated in front of your fellow commuters by a nosey bitch who should have been minding her own business.
A big injustice needs a big response, and it needs to happen soon, while today's event are fresh in everyone's memory. You need to give up your seat on Monday as per usual, but delicately suggest your discomfort (rubbing your back, mild groaning, etc) for the rest of the journey.
Tuesday's the big day - give up your seat, give it 10 minutes of groaning and moaning and then collapse dramatically. People will inevitably try to come to your aid - you must politely reject this, explaining (ideally whilst staring at the nosey bitch and with tears running down your face) that it's only a little pain and you don't want to be selfish.
Take the following two days off work, and then turn up at the station on Friday with a zimmer frame. You'll undoubtedly get offered a seat and the two cows who've been ruining your commute will be shamed in front of their fellow commuters, hopefully to the point where they decide to get another train from now on.
Ensure a seat everyday by continuing to use a zimmer frame until you retire.
So a few of you may remember my rant a while back (may have been on the general things that annoy you thread) about the etiquette of giving up seats on a train and a disabled woman who I thought was taking the piss.
Basically the back story is that a disabled lady got the same train as me from the same station every day. Now the train is pretty busy when it gets to my station there is the odd single seat in the front half a few more towards the middle and plenty in the last few carriages. I like to make a quick exit at Victoria so like the front. I make an effort to get to the station early, I know where the doors open So I get on the front of the train forst and nab a seat.
Now I have no problem with someone in need asking for my seat but this lady who walked with a crutch would wait by the station entrance every day until the train was in the station and everyone else was on it. She'd then walk along the platform to the front and without fail would as for my seat. Never anyone else's. So if get up and give it to her and then have to trudge down to the back of the train because in the mean time all other seats have been filled. I sometimes stand but have knee issues which mean if I stand for an hour I end up in a lot of pain.
What annoyed me was that she made no effort to get on the train when everyone else did whixh might have meant some of the time we both got a seat towards the front. Instead of standing by the station entrance she could stand along the platform where she wants to get on the train. Or if she wanted to guarantee herself a seat she could get on the middle or the back of the train.
In time the trains got busier and she basically meant I stopped getting a seat at all and was forced to stand. This went on for months, I tried everything from pretending to be asleep to shoving headphones in. My knees got aggravated so I ended up getting a different train.
Anyway back to the present. I've been back at work for a couple of months now and getting the original train. Haven't had a sight of her once..... until this week. I saw her eyes light up as she saw me on Monday. And everyday she has picked me again.
Fast forward to today. I had a couple of back spasms in the night (yes I really am 22 with dodgey knees and a bad back) and am in a fair bit of pain. Train is even busier than normal. She asks for my seat again and I say
"I'm really sorry but I had 2 back spasms in the night, I'm in pain and there is no way I can physically stand for the next hour, could you ask someone else today please".
She looks a little surprised and then a woman near me let's her have her seat but launches into an abusive tirade of biblical proportions, aimed in my direction.
Apparently I should have seen 'her need is greater than mine and dealt with a little pain' I am 'a fucking selfish twat' and a number of other things. I am also 'everything that is wrong with my generation'. Shes still piping up every couple of mins even now 20 mins later.
So who was right? Should I just have given up my seat?
I would have a word with her on the platform and ask her why she is choosing you every day, tell her she needs to mix it up and choose other people.
Or just get on down the back of the train, that would solve the problem
You're probably right. It would be easier for me. But I like to leave as late as possible to get to work on time. Being at the front of the train is the difference between getting there on time and being late. Why should I have to move because she is targeting me?
because she is disabled and you're not.
honestly, the youth of today, no manners and no respect!
I'm confused here. Clearly if she's actually disabled, then anyone should be giving up their seat for her, but if she kept asking me for my seat specifically I'd tell her to fuck off and ask one of the dozens of other people in the carriage. I'd have absolutely fucking destroyed the woman who gave you abuse as well - a lot of folk out there willing to mind other peoples' businesses for them
That's exactly what happened. She always asks for my seat. Everyone wanted me to give up mine but no one wanted to give up their own. I get abuse for it.
I would have a word with her on the platform and ask her why she is choosing you every day, tell her she needs to mix it up and choose other people.
Or just get on down the back of the train, that would solve the problem
You're probably right. It would be easier for me. But I like to leave as late as possible to get to work on time. Being at the front of the train is the difference between getting there on time and being late. Why should I have to move because she is targeting me?
because she is disabled and you're not.
honestly, the youth of today, no manners and no respect!
I get that. And that's why I've given her my seat every time she has asked until today. Today the day when my back is giving me pain and there is no way I could stand for that period of time.
If she tried to get a seat and failed I'd happily give her mine. Equally if she varied who she asked if happily give her mine more than my fair share. But when she doesn't even try and then chooses me every day then I think she's taking the piss.
She IS taking the piss and personally I'd tell her to do one if she ever asks me for my seat again. Anyone objects, they can feel free to give up their seats.
In my mind Larry would let her have his seat begrudgingly.
He would later see her out jogging and be outraged.
Cut to the next day when the woman tries the same trick only to see Larry call her out as a fraud and try to explain it to the other passengers who would be giving him pelters in protest of his outburst.
Larry defends himself vociferously to his atackers with his trademark "Fuck You!" just as he sees the disabled woman's able bodied twin sister walking down the carriage towards him.......cue the music and title sequence.
I really wish you had at least said that this woman asks me every day and only me to the ranter. I feel annoyed at the injustice at the abuse you have taken there.
But id definitely get on a different carriage from now on.
In my mind Larry would let her have his seat begrudgingly.
He would later see her out jogging and be outraged.
Cut to the next day when the woman tries the same trick only to see Larry call her out as a fraud and try to explain it to the other passengers who would be giving him pelters in protest of his outburst.
Larry defends himself vociferously to his atackers with his trademark "Fuck You!" just as he sees the disabled woman's able bodied twin sister walking down the carriage towards him.......cue the music and title sequence.
I would have a word with her on the platform and ask her why she is choosing you every day, tell her she needs to mix it up and choose other people.
Or just get on down the back of the train, that would solve the problem
You're probably right. It would be easier for me. But I like to leave as late as possible to get to work on time. Being at the front of the train is the difference between getting there on time and being late. Why should I have to move because she is targeting me?
because she is disabled and you're not.
honestly, the youth of today, no manners and no respect!
I get that. And that's why I've given her my seat every time she has asked until today. Today the day when my back is giving me pain and there is no way I could stand for that period of time.
If she tried to get a seat and failed I'd happily give her mine. Equally if she varied who she asked if happily give her mine more than my fair share. But when she doesn't even try and then chooses me every day then I think she's taking the piss.
I would ask her why she only ever asks for your seat and never asks anyone else. I would like to hear her answer.
I would have a word with her on the platform and ask her why she is choosing you every day, tell her she needs to mix it up and choose other people.
Or just get on down the back of the train, that would solve the problem
You're probably right. It would be easier for me. But I like to leave as late as possible to get to work on time. Being at the front of the train is the difference between getting there on time and being late. Why should I have to move because she is targeting me?
because she is disabled and you're not.
honestly, the youth of today, no manners and no respect!
I get that. And that's why I've given her my seat every time she has asked until today. Today the day when my back is giving me pain and there is no way I could stand for that period of time.
If she tried to get a seat and failed I'd happily give her mine. Equally if she varied who she asked if happily give her mine more than my fair share. But when she doesn't even try and then chooses me every day then I think she's taking the piss.
I would ask her why she only ever asks for your seat and never asks anyone else. I would like to hear her answer.
If you know you can get on the train and some good natured guy will always give up his seat for you, then why would she ask someone else ?
I'd have given it up a few times and then sat elsewhere.
I'm confused here. Clearly if she's actually disabled, then anyone should be giving up their seat for her, but if she kept asking me for my seat specifically I'd tell her to fuck off and ask one of the dozens of other people in the carriage. I'd have absolutely fucking destroyed the woman who gave you abuse as well - a lot of folk out there willing to mind other peoples' businesses for them
That's exactly what happened. She always asks for my seat. Everyone wanted me to give up mine but no one wanted to give up their own. I get abuse for it.
It's a strong situational dilemma canters, I'm not a shrinking violet with people like the woman who had a pop at you. I can't remember how many years ago but I was on a train out of Victoria bound for Margate or wherever the fast one to Chatham ends up and had gotten on early enough to get a seat next to a window and started reading my book. A lady got on and for whatever reason picked me out of everyone to give up my seat. She was doing this from a distance of a couple of metres away and I didn't think she was talking to me initially, some nosey prick leant over and tapped me on the arm and asked if I was going to give my seat up.
wasn't planning on it, says me
Before I come across as a bigger cunt than I actually am I had no idea why this woman was asking me ahead of everyone else on the train and she didn't look pregnant or in any way disabled (I know not all mobility issues are visible)
Bear in mind too that this train isn't sardine packed and there are a couple of other spaces and I am also sat next to the window so would have to displace the bloke next to me as well as get my workbag out of the rack.
The bloke who decided to get involved pointed out that the lady was waiting for my seat
Give her yours then
He and the woman then decided to have a bit of a go at me so I took the bait and gave it back, cutting a long story a bit shorter the woman wanted to sit there because it was her seat. No other fucking reason, I gave the seat up in the end and carried on rowing and generally being more obnoxious than I needed to be with nosey. Annoyingly we both got off at Chatham so this argument carried on all the way up the stairs and out the front with people watching and following.
Still don't know why he got so incredulous at me but wouldn't make himself a martyr and give his own up which was my point all along
Comments
You need to chill out and accept that it is a shit but often necessary evil and just go with it mate.
You'll have a clutcher by the age of 30 at this rate.
Or just get on down the back of the train, that would solve the problem
If she asked me once every 2 weeks and asked others the rest of the time I really wouldn't be bothered.
As for those telling me to shout back I have a natural aversion to confrontation so I just kept my head down in the end.
If he bothers you, point her towards the blue priority seats.
Failing that, you could always take an injunction out on her, claiming she's harassing you and putting you under stress. Then she won't be able to get your train any more
She obviously fancies you and this form of harassment isn't going to stop until you ask her out!!!
A big injustice needs a big response, and it needs to happen soon, while today's event are fresh in everyone's memory. You need to give up your seat on Monday as per usual, but delicately suggest your discomfort (rubbing your back, mild groaning, etc) for the rest of the journey.
Tuesday's the big day - give up your seat, give it 10 minutes of groaning and moaning and then collapse dramatically. People will inevitably try to come to your aid - you must politely reject this, explaining (ideally whilst staring at the nosey bitch and with tears running down your face) that it's only a little pain and you don't want to be selfish.
Take the following two days off work, and then turn up at the station on Friday with a zimmer frame. You'll undoubtedly get offered a seat and the two cows who've been ruining your commute will be shamed in front of their fellow commuters, hopefully to the point where they decide to get another train from now on.
Ensure a seat everyday by continuing to use a zimmer frame until you retire.
Sorted.
honestly, the youth of today, no manners and no respect!
Just make sure she takes her teeth out first.
If she tried to get a seat and failed I'd happily give her mine. Equally if she varied who she asked if happily give her mine more than my fair share. But when she doesn't even try and then chooses me every day then I think she's taking the piss.
In my mind Larry would let her have his seat begrudgingly.
He would later see her out jogging and be outraged.
Cut to the next day when the woman tries the same trick only to see Larry call her out as a fraud and try to explain it to the other passengers who would be giving him pelters in protest of his outburst.
Larry defends himself vociferously to his atackers with his trademark "Fuck You!" just as he sees the disabled woman's able bodied twin sister walking down the carriage towards him.......cue the music and title sequence.
But id definitely get on a different carriage from now on.
I would like to hear her answer.
I'd have given it up a few times and then sat elsewhere.
:-)
wasn't planning on it, says me
Before I come across as a bigger cunt than I actually am I had no idea why this woman was asking me ahead of everyone else on the train and she didn't look pregnant or in any way disabled (I know not all mobility issues are visible)
Bear in mind too that this train isn't sardine packed and there are a couple of other spaces and I am also sat next to the window so would have to displace the bloke next to me as well as get my workbag out of the rack.
The bloke who decided to get involved pointed out that the lady was waiting for my seat
Give her yours then
He and the woman then decided to have a bit of a go at me so I took the bait and gave it back, cutting a long story a bit shorter the woman wanted to sit there because it was her seat. No other fucking reason, I gave the seat up in the end and carried on rowing and generally being more obnoxious than I needed to be with nosey. Annoyingly we both got off at Chatham so this argument carried on all the way up the stairs and out the front with people watching and following.
Still don't know why he got so incredulous at me but wouldn't make himself a martyr and give his own up which was my point all along
Maybe a lump of moist , well chewed gum, a handful of nails or even a freshly gathered & steaming morsel of doggy doo ?