As a smoker and a parent I feel I am able to coment.
neither me nor the mrs have ever smoked in the house.
if we are out walking if one of us want a cigarette we let the other push the buggy and our eldest walks with the buggy pusher while the other hangs back a couple of yards.
If we are in the garden or a beer garden or on holiday we will move onto the table next to us so we are never smoking directly on top of the kids.
if someone approached me to say I was smoking to close to my children they would be told in no uncertain terms to go fuck themselves.
As a smoker and a parent I feel I am able to coment.
neither me nor the mrs have ever smoked in the house.
if we are out walking if one of us want a cigarette we let the other push the buggy and our eldest walks with the buggy pusher while the other hangs back a couple of yards.
If we are in the garden or a beer garden or on holiday we will move onto the table next to us so we are never smoking directly on top of the kids.
if someone approached me to say I was smoking to close to my children they would be told in no uncertain terms to go fuck themselves.
You are obviously taking conscious decisions to try and protect your kids health which is different to the kinds of parents being spoken about in this thread.
All I would say is please try and kick the habit for the sake of your children in the future. Seeing my Mum die of lung cancer spread to the brain was horrific and has probably scarred me for life. It is not a nice thing to say, but there is a good chance the same thing could happen to you or your missus. Nobody wants to see their parents go through that and the fact is that theoretically you and your wife could throw away all your cigarettes and stop this second. You are already protecting your kids health but you want to be there for them in the future too.
I was blown away by the number of mums smoking at the maternity ward entrance where we had our kids delivered. Some of these women were in bloody labour but they still still waddled out with their mum for a Lambert. If you caught their eye they'd with out fail give you a filthy look and carry on puffing.
My girlfriend was kept in for a few days because of a complication and the 17 year old mum in the next bed told me that her baby was born weighing 4 pounds. I asked if it was premature and she laughed and said it was because she smoked throughout pregnancy.
There are lots of people who obvoously don't give a toss about their kids and are going to breed another generation of scummy adults. This country needs to figure out a way to break the cycle but I doubt there's much appetite to take the tough measures that this would entail.
I don't mind strangers thinking I'm an asshole if there's any chance saying something might make them think about it. My spectacles probably save me from getting punched a fair bit. But I genuinely don't care if I'm the villain in their eyes. I feel like it's wrong to not say anything. Mind my own business? That's the cheap way out. The kid can't mind it's own business without breathing smoke. Saying something might cause instant change (unlike trying to convince them to give the child more fruit ).
If I knew them, and got on well with them, I'd say something. If I didn't, I wouldn't. Anyway, where do you draw the line? In 2011/12, according to the NHS (where do they get these figures?) 9.5% of 4 & 5-year-old kids going to school for the first time were obese. Do you call out every parent you see with kids in McDonald's? Or a mother buying fizzy drinks, biscuits, value burgers, frozen chips, ice cream, crisps and sweets in a supermarket? It seems half of all 7-year-olds do not get enough exercise (with that figure climbing to 62% for girls). Do you hound parents who let their kids sit in front of the TV or their computer all day? Kids on holiday in hot climates without sunscreen, a wide-brimmed hat and tee-shirt? Parents who don't let their kids wander around the streets so they never learn spatial awareness, how to judge the speed of cars or measure distances properly. (God knows what standard drivers we will have in a few years time.)
Then there's this
If you blend all those stats together, it seems people with good parenting skills are in a small minority. Or is it just a few fat kids, with sunburn, no teeth, lack of exercise and emphysema?
We're all going to hell in a handcart.
Spot On. Don't like people smoking near children but 'we're' harming our children in plenty of other ways also.
Nah, you're wrong. Everyone knows that smoking is the only thing that is harmful to your health. Its the only question I get asked when I do my life insurance and have to pay a premium because of it, they don't care that I eat and drink healthily and go to the gym 4 times a week.
I don't have children but when I do I won't bother with healthy diets, exercise and general well being. As long as they're not exposed to my smoke they'll be fine.
Reluctant to say this but here goes. I used to smoke, I smoked through all 4 of my pregnancies, the doctor actually said, whilst I was trying to stop, that the odd cigarette will do less harm than the stress levels, so I smoked but very little except when in labour when I smoked about 40. I never smoked around a baby, always went outside, but was never as vigilant when they got a bit older. My eldest child used to get lots of chest infections as a kid, I think this is because of the smoking. My babies were all good sizes and in good health when they were born. Up to Anthony, he was born a bit smaller than he should have been and his placenta was black because of the smoking, I also nearly died when he was born and needed resuscitation. Within 8 hours of him being born seemingly very happy and healthy the nurses noticed he had jaundice and was taking to special care, they said he had a bad infection but didn't know what they had him under ultra violet and on intravenous anti biotics and were doing hundreds of tests on him including lumbar puncture. This broke my heart seeing, although they told me it wasn't my fault I have never had a cigarette since. My husband has also stopped smoking. I have been told numerously that Anthony's special needs are nothing to go with smoking but I'm not 100% convinced and I have to live with that on my conscience.
My kids never get chest infections anymore and the younger ones don't remember us smoking at all. I have no smoking around my kids whatsoever and move them away from anyone near them smoking.
I also now tell anybody that will listen not to smoke during pregnancy I can't make up for the bad that I done and am utterly disgusted with myself, I never held a baby whilst smoking or smoked in a car with children or anything like that but what I did do was bad enough. Smoking around children should be zero to ensure their 100% safety from all smoke related illnesses. We wouldn't force alcohol in them or inject them with heroin so why make them smoke?
Obesity is a similar issue too but not quite as black and white, some children are large due to health conditions and/or medication so we need tone careful not to judge everyone before knowing the facts. Most childhood obesity is due to over indulgence and poor diet, this as it has a fundamental effect in the child's health is a form of neglect and as smoking needs to be addressed.
My mum used to smoke around me. It wasn't right but I don't think she's 'disgusting' or was a 'crap' parent. She just had a habit that she found difficult to control.
We're all a little to quick to judge these days.
Well that was before people truly understood the dangers of passive smoking. No excuse now.
My natural instinct as a libertarian is that it's absolutely none of my business to censure people unless their actions affect others outside their circle adversely. On the other hand evidence of the damage to health caused by smoking, both actual and passive, is overwhelming so if I saw a child subject to passive smoking in a confined space I might consider it my duty maybe to say something. On the other hand again should matters escalate and the police get involved I would be the one in trouble for interfering so it's a dilemma.
If you tell the parent there a crap parent , then expect a load of abuse back, it's obviously not right, but as others have said they are not your kids.
If you smoke near your kids, then you are a CRAP parent and a failure and not doing your best for them.
END OF.
Smoking kills. I lost my Mum 2 years ago to Lung cancer and it was an awful way to die. I saw her suffer, but she never smoked around me once as a child.
The warnings on the box are not hyperbole. They are true. Smoking caused lung cancer and that is a 100pc fact.
I am very passionate about that. These people risk the life of their own children. You wouldn't dangle your kid off beachy head so why smoke around them.
And in terms of having a word, if you smoke around your child then I think you have shown you don't care about them and the child's safety comes first. Would I have a word? Not sure. I tried calling out a chavvy little oik who I saw spitting on the road the other day and that almost ended in tears so it isn't worth the aggro but I would be tempted.
As I say a passionate response but smoking is a subject close to my heart after killing my mum. The poster who said people whose parents smoke grow up hating the habit have it spot on.
Damo , my dad also passed away 2 years ago he and Mum both smoked 40 fags a day when i was growing up and i hated it. I hated the fact he had a heart attack at 40 , and had to pack up work at 50 , often went into hospital , even at Christmas, and that was without the stink of tobacco coming out of the walls , it was horrible , i still thought the world of my mum and dad despite the smoking , that was how life was , i thought everyone lived like that.
Slightly different circumstances but i confronted my sister years ago who was a heavy smoker telling her what an idiot she was for smoking, and how could she carry on doing it after what happened to Dad , and no wonder she was always short of money, and it wasn't good for the kids.
Well her and her husband ended up losing her house because they didn't have enough money to pay the mortgage , despite inheriting money from a neighbour next door who passed away, and ran away to the other end of the country with their 3 kids , who i missed out on seeing as they grew up.
The damage smoking does is horrendous , and its not just physical , i can understand why people do it, because they enjoy it and it calms them down and helps them make sense of life , but i hate smoking with a passion, having been on the other side of the fence , i hate the fact it can be so divisive, and wish i hadn't had a go at my sister all those years ago , did it change anything , no, it made things worse , made me feel better at the time for getting it off my chest , but it broke a relationship which is never good , i don't need to watch Eastenders for drama.
I have never smoked. In the days when smoking was allowed in UK pubs/clubs I never particularly noticed it, I guess because poor quality of air was the norm. Since the smoking ban in the UK, I went on hols to Cape Town, where there is no similar ban to that here. I was instantly struck by the difficulty in breathing and I had to walk out of a number of pubs where there no smoke extraction systems. Never again will I enter any form of premises where the quality of air is that we experienced prior to the UK smoking ban.
'The saddest thing that I'd ever seen were smokers outside the hospital doors'
The day before she was taken in to a hospice, when my mum was in the final stages of her cancer and it had spread to her brain, I found her at home trying to get out the back door to have a cigarette. She was all confused and didnt know who I was. I had to try and help her inside when she had her final moment of clarity. She looked at the cigarettes in her hand, looked at me, and just said 'i'm sorry darling'.
'The saddest thing that I'd ever seen were smokers outside the hospital doors'
The day before she was taken in to a hospice, when my mum was in the final stages of her cancer and it had spread to her brain, I found her at home trying to get out the back door to have a cigarette. She was all confused and didnt know who I was. I had to try and help her inside when she had her final moment of clarity. She looked at the cigarettes in her hand, looked at me, and just said 'i'm sorry darling'.
Comments
neither me nor the mrs have ever smoked in the house.
if we are out walking if one of us want a cigarette we let the other push the buggy and our eldest walks with the buggy pusher while the other hangs back a couple of yards.
If we are in the garden or a beer garden or on holiday we will move onto the table next to us so we are never smoking directly on top of the kids.
if someone approached me to say I was smoking to close to my children they would be told in no uncertain terms to go fuck themselves.
http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/what-is-third-hand-smoke/
All I would say is please try and kick the habit for the sake of your children in the future. Seeing my Mum die of lung cancer spread to the brain was horrific and has probably scarred me for life. It is not a nice thing to say, but there is a good chance the same thing could happen to you or your missus. Nobody wants to see their parents go through that and the fact is that theoretically you and your wife could throw away all your cigarettes and stop this second. You are already protecting your kids health but you want to be there for them in the future too.
My girlfriend was kept in for a few days because of a complication and the 17 year old mum in the next bed told me that her baby was born weighing 4 pounds. I asked if it was premature and she laughed and said it was because she smoked throughout pregnancy.
There are lots of people who obvoously don't give a toss about their kids and are going to breed another generation of scummy adults. This country needs to figure out a way to break the cycle but I doubt there's much appetite to take the tough measures that this would entail.
I don't have children but when I do I won't bother with healthy diets, exercise and general well being. As long as they're not exposed to my smoke they'll be fine.
Smoking makes you look really cool.
My kids never get chest infections anymore and the younger ones don't remember us smoking at all. I have no smoking around my kids whatsoever and move them away from anyone near them smoking.
I also now tell anybody that will listen not to smoke during pregnancy I can't make up for the bad that I done and am utterly disgusted with myself, I never held a baby whilst smoking or smoked in a car with children or anything like that but what I did do was bad enough. Smoking around children should be zero to ensure their 100% safety from all smoke related illnesses. We wouldn't force alcohol in them or inject them with heroin so why make them smoke?
Obesity is a similar issue too but not quite as black and white, some children are large due to health conditions and/or medication so we need tone careful not to judge everyone before knowing the facts. Most childhood obesity is due to over indulgence and poor diet, this as it has a fundamental effect in the child's health is a form of neglect and as smoking needs to be addressed.
My natural instinct as a libertarian is that it's absolutely none of my business to censure people unless their actions affect others outside their circle adversely. On the other hand evidence of the damage to health caused by smoking, both actual and passive, is overwhelming so if I saw a child subject to passive smoking in a confined space I might consider it my duty maybe to say something. On the other hand again should matters escalate and the police get involved I would be the one in trouble for interfering so it's a dilemma.
Truth is I am a "don't know."
Damo , my dad also passed away 2 years ago he and Mum both smoked 40 fags a day when i was growing up and i hated it.
I hated the fact he had a heart attack at 40 , and had to pack up work at 50 , often went into hospital , even at Christmas, and that was without the stink of tobacco coming out of the walls , it was horrible , i still thought the world of my mum and dad despite the smoking , that was how life was , i thought everyone lived like that.
Slightly different circumstances but i confronted my sister years ago who was a heavy smoker telling her what an idiot she was for smoking, and how could she carry on doing it after what happened to Dad , and no wonder she was always short of money, and it wasn't good for the kids.
Well her and her husband ended up losing her house because they didn't have enough money to pay the mortgage , despite inheriting money from a neighbour next door who passed away, and ran away to the other end of the country with their 3 kids , who i missed out on seeing as they grew up.
The damage smoking does is horrendous , and its not just physical , i can understand why people do it, because they enjoy it and it calms them down and helps them make sense of life , but i hate smoking with a passion, having been on the other side of the fence , i hate the fact it can be so divisive, and wish i hadn't had a go at my sister all those years ago , did it change anything , no, it made things worse , made me feel better at the time for getting it off my chest , but it broke a relationship which is never good , i don't need to watch Eastenders for drama.
She died 48 hours later.
Very sorry for your loss.