That's it, I'm moving into the loft

3blokes

If I seem tetchy, or pale and withdrawn in the coming months, bear with me fellow lifers for the 3blokes' household has been stricken with a terrible affliction - my young daughter is learning to play the recorder.
Now anybody who has ever heard a group of small children wrestle with the tune of 3 blind mice on these things knows for certain that there is NO God.
The wife came home beaming from a boot fair the other day clutching this pristine brown recorder bastard thing which she had picked up for 20p.
I looked at her in disbelief. WHAT WERE YOU THINKING WOMAN???!!!
So that's it. I'm f***ed.
Clair de Lune, twinkle twinkle at 6.30 in the morning. I really want to throw the recorder out the window every time she picks the satanic thing up, but she looks SO happy playing it :-)
Oh well, it could be worse, it could be the violin....and we all have to start somewhere eh...

( walks off trying not to appear too grumpy to a spirited rendition of what could be Harry Lime. But isn't)

Algarveaddick

Oh love these moments that remind me why I never wanted kids...

Wonder where she gets it from though?

;-)

Brendan_O_Connell

My eldest plays the ukulele (very badly). It is excruciating!!

tangoflash

I feel for you 3blokes. Been through that nightmare about 10 years ago, not nice. It's gotta be the worst sounding instrument ever made. I really don't think I've ever heard one (no matter how well it's being played) that actually sounds good...........

soapy_jones

You have to nurture the little darlings... He says with daughters now aged 24 and 26!

Macronate

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3lHBFEWnB0I

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8c9jEvXMm0c

rananegra

My youngest plays the violin, he wanted to from when he was about 4. It certainly played on my mind as to how risky it was to indulge this, but I'm glad we did. He's now 8 and just passed his grade 1. Neither of mine ever really got into the recorder, whose chief merit appears to be that it is cheap.
It could be worse, though I have to say no one will pick up a violin from a boot sale for 20p.

Rizzo

Whoever sold that recorder ought to be arrested for peddling Weapons of Mass Despair. Can't stand the bloody things. Ought to be banned under the Geneva Convention.

cafcfan

Can't you get a refund citing the trade description act on the basis that you can't record anything on it? How did it get that name?

This will be no consolation but there's a kid up my street who has been practising (again) throughout the school holidays in her back garden. There is absolutely no hint of improvement at all. It's just a horrible noise.

Greenie

I feel for you 3Blokes, my brother bought my youngest a drum kit 13 years ago when my son was 4, he thought it was so funny listening to Greenie Jnr jnr jnr smashing the life out of this kit...about 2 weeks later the kit got...er...broken.
Fast forward to right now, my brother has a son who is 2, guess what he's getting for his 4th birthday.......?

3blokes

Weapon of Mass Despair, spot on Rizzo :-)

cafcfan

Wiki answers my question!
The instrument has been known by its modern name at least since the 14th century. David Lasocki reports the earliest use of the word recorder was in the household of the Earl of Derby (later to become King Henry IV) in 1388: fistula nomine Recordour.[6] The name originates from the use of the word ricordare especiale, which means "remember" in Italian.

And you certainly find it difficult to forget so that's appropriate.

AFKABartram

dreading the day we get a whistle in a Christmas cracker

Essex_Al

Don't worry, look forward to pay back time when she's got to look after you when your old, dribbly and incontinent!

BDL

Jon, its not as if Finchy, Portchy and Me didn't warn you!

You only have yourself to blame ;-)

Uboat

Fortunately I live in North London, where all the kids play the harp.

JohnBoyUK

Haha, brilliant post 3blokes. My not-so-little 8yo angel stayed with me last week and when her Mum dropped her off, she announced proudly that she'd brought her recorder along too, to show me what she'd been learning over the school holidays.

I looked at my ex-wife as if to say "WTF have I done to deserve this?" and the look I got back with a grin was "well I've had to put up with this on a daily basis and now its your turn!!!"

There's nothing quite like the sound of a recorder. Its like a shreak that breaks you in two. You have my utmost sympathy

However, having said that, I'm quite good on the recorder. I shocked them all by still being able to play "oh when the spurs go marching in" on it for the first time in 25 years, since my 3rd year summer Music exam at BGS.

stilladdicted

It will improve by November because then they will add ' Once in Royal David's City' to their repertoire, although the 'lonely' requires practice ;-)

stilladdicted

You could retaliate of course, suggest a Bassoon.

Algarveaddick

stilladdicted said:

You could retaliate of course, suggest a Bassoon.

That's a bit strong, wouldn't an old fashioned clip round the ear suffice?

Baldybonce

Savour every moment of her young years.
It won't be long before she comes home with her first boyfriend who, with his arse hanging from his trousers, greets you with `Yo blood, wassup'

colthe3rd

Baldybonce said:

Savour every moment of her young years.
It won't be long before she comes home with her first boyfriend who, with his arse hanging from his trousers, greets you with `Yo blood, wassup'

Still better than the sound of a recorder tbf.

Belgian_Spur

Baldybonce said:

Savour every moment of her young years.
It won't be long before she comes home with her first boyfriend who, with his arse hanging from his trousers, greets you with `Yo blood, wassup'

i'm about to have a daughter (can happen at any minute now) and thats one of the things i already dread the most, had it with my little sis (15 yrs younger and i m her guardian) and the first few that stopped by were just terrible copies of me at that age. Small red eyes and a stupid stoned grin.

However , messing with these lads minds is well funny - they want to impress you and its quite easy to mess with their heads.

thai malaysia addick

Just a recorder? That's really inoffensive compared to the trombone I remember at 6am.

3blokes

Thanks for sympathy everyone. It's lovely watching her enjoying playing it. From a long way away, with headphones on. ;-)

tangoflash said:

I feel for you 3blokes. Been through that nightmare about 10 years ago, not nice. It's gotta be the worst sounding instrument ever made. I really don't think I've ever heard one (no matter how well it's being played) that actually sounds good...........

That's the problem for me. However good you become at it, it still sounds s**t!

Essex_Al said:

Don't worry, look forward to pay back time when she's got to look after you when your old, dribbly and incontinent!

Yeah I've started that already, but no one's noticed yet;-)

HantsAddick

I was given one as a child, (suppose because it was cheap) but only mastered London's Burning before I got fed up with it.

Imnot Athletic

Could be worse, could be the cornet

ross1

Imnot Athletic said:

Could be worse, could be the cornet

I prefer a choc-ice

Dave2l

Never know, for end of season 2027/28 celebbration she could be playing VFR on the pitch on her recorder

mrbligh

just bought my 8 month old a mini drum kit, he does go a bit 'satanic' when he starts jammin but he does seem to have fun

PaddyP17

Please can I recommend the piano to any parents looking to start their kids off on an instrument.

Because what we pianists do is pretty much just press buttons, there's only so much that can go wrong with the tone (e.g. scratchy violin, ear-splitting whistle-type annoying overtones on wind instruments, really REALLY loud trumpet/percussion and so on). It's also really good for theoretical skills later on should they develop a passion and interest for music.

The major drawback is the startup cost of buying a real piano, though I'm sure you can find really nice second-hand ones at reasonable prices. Highly highly recommended though.