Long story short, an ex of mine kept a joint account open that I'd been told by her (and confirmed by the bank, who obviously confirmed wrong, after I signed the forms and they had contacted her to do the same) was closed. They've now sent me a new card and a pin for it.
Went in, asked about it, I can close it on my own once it's in credit. Checked 2 months worth of statements while I was there and it goes anywhere from about £600 credit to into the overdraft by about £500 every fortnight or so with payments and direct debits etc in and out.
As I don't trust her to close it after last time and with her obviously knowing it's still open as she's using it, I'm checking the balance each day, waiting for it to be in credit then going to the bank that day to close it.
My moral question is - do I keep the money or offer it her back?!
She's cost me plenty over the years in stuff I had to sort out to do with the house we had after she left it in a state, and also solicitors fees on selling etc, so I am very tempted to say sod her and keep it, it evens that out.
But then she has a baby under 1 and I don't know her current financial situation beyond this account and the fact she rents a reasonable house, and essentially I'm not enough of an arsehole to want her not to be able to buy milk etc if she couldn't without that money. She'd not have the overdraft without it too, but frankly that's tough.
Thoughts?!
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If I'd paid them out of a supposed joint account to make up half I don't think there could have been any complaints. As it is I have money outstanding in credit card debt because of it, that this would pay off.
And legally, it is. She has deliberately lied to me to keep this money technically still in my name.
I've definitely upgraded since, put it that way.
It's not your money and I'd bet you could get nicked for taking it
It's not worth it surely
Moral, yes. Didn't stop her screwing me for money I couldn't afford (and I have a daughter), but then I doubt that would have crossed her mind when it does mine.
The money isn't yours so surely having your name off the account is all you need?
In all likelihood I'll then send her a message saying you want the money let me know where to transfer it to.
Just feels like getting robbed then telling the thief they dropped their wallet and handing it back over!
You definitely need to ensure you're removed from the account and you should probably remind the bank that they processed a request previously to that effect.
Legally if it's joint then the money belongs to both of you - however from the moral point of view it's only hers.
And as others have said, she has a baby and life is too short to rake over a difficult past. Whatever you do you will need to speak to her about it. If you close the account yourself, you could be causing her problems with access to funds when she really needs them and that really isn't helpful. As you've said, wait for the account to be in credit so you're not lumbered with picking up half an overdraft...
Go to the bank the day it is in credit and get your name removed, with signed paperwork from the staff. Then check up in a week's time that your name has been removed. If you are ever called upon to pay the debt, provide the evidence from the bank that your name was removed.
Seriously, don't take it. Be the bigger man.
Why would you think it's reasonable behaviour to close her bank account ?
Grow up and think about something vaguely important
No matter how much you rationalise it, you still come across as being a bit childish if you close the account from under her without her knowing. If you actually take the money, you're being childish AND a bit of a cock. If the money she owes from having you sort the house out is important to you, why haven't you pursued it with solicitors?
Seriously - just walk away. Be the bigger man. Recriminations and childishness might feel good at the time, but in the long run, you gain far more from just being the better person in a break up
Send a copy of the confirmation you received from the bank saying the account was closed to the bank telling them that your name still appears to be associated with this account and you want it removed forthwith together with further written confirmation that it has been.
I think the best advice so far is to wait until the account is in credit and then transfer it over into your ex partners name. That way you haven't made her life harder, that chapter of your life is complete, you can't get a shitty credit rating because she has massively overdrawn. But the best thing is that in years to come when you are fat and happy (like me) you can look back and be content that you didn't do anything bad.
sorry if this sounds a bit like The Waltons mate but really there is nothing like peace of mind for making your life easier (apart from £50m in the bank)
You sound like you have moved on and she maybe isn't doing quite so well. My advice would be to get your name off the account as quickly as possible and carry on with your life.