Leave the money alone, the grief you will get is not worth £500.
Get the bank to take your name off the account. You should also apply for a letter of disassociation which will ensure that your credit records are separated and you will not be effected by her constant overdraft.
If there wasn't a child involved then yeah fill your boots, but knowing she has a baby under 1 you can't really do that to her. It's not just her mouth you're taking food from.
Is there a reason she has it open still? I'm assuming she's using this as her main bank account now? Maybe she thought it was easier to keep this one open rather than going through the drama of a new one?
If it's in a joint account in my name I'm sure there's no legal reason I couldn't take it.
Moral, yes. Didn't stop her screwing me for money I couldn't afford (and I have a daughter), but then I doubt that would have crossed her mind when it does mine.
2 wrongs don't make a right.
You sound like you have moved on and she maybe isn't doing quite so well. My advice would be to get your name off the account as quickly as possible and carry on with your life.
The one thing he definitely doesn't sound like he has done is moved on!!!
Long story short, an ex of mine kept a joint account open that I'd been told by her (and confirmed by the bank, who obviously confirmed wrong, after I signed the forms and they had contacted her to do the same) was closed. They've now sent me a new card and a pin for it.
Went in, asked about it, I can close it on my own once it's in credit. Checked 2 months worth of statements while I was there and it goes anywhere from about £600 credit to into the overdraft by about £500 every fortnight or so with payments and direct debits etc in and out.
As I don't trust her to close it after last time and with her obviously knowing it's still open as she's using it, I'm checking the balance each day, waiting for it to be in credit then going to the bank that day to close it.
My moral question is - do I keep the money or offer it her back?!
She's cost me plenty over the years in stuff I had to sort out to do with the house we had after she left it in a state, and also solicitors fees on selling etc, so I am very tempted to say sod her and keep it, it evens that out.
But then she has a baby under 1 and I don't know her current financial situation beyond this account and the fact she rents a reasonable house, and essentially I'm not enough of an arsehole to want her not to be able to buy milk etc if she couldn't without that money. She'd not have the overdraft without it too, but frankly that's tough.
Money is one of those things that can be all consuming, even sound people can get a bit funny about stuff when it comes to cash. Its a hard thing to counter in your head morally sometimes.
If it's a shitty ex-relationship as it is, meddling around will probably mean it will make your life more difficult further down the line. Save yourself the hassle, do the bare minimum of removing yourself from the account and draw a line under it.
Plus her 1 y/o is an innocent party in this who could be affected.
Sounds like you're in a decent position anyway, so be the bigger person and take gratification from that.
Get your name off the account, close the chapter of her in your life. You will have learnt valuable lessons and she will also learn valuable lessons. You have moved onto better things, this is your link to her, cut it by being the bigger and better person. That will have a much more lasting effect that some sort of spite revenge.
I've tried to just get my name removed several times - between Santander being useless and her being awkward it's not worked so closing it seems my only option so it's done and dusted. I wish it had been as easy as just getting my name removed months ago like I tried.
She's not using it as her main account by the looks of it, just an extra one as far as I can see.
Cheers for the advice, backs up what I thought really - as It's Hamer Time and others have said, it's her kid that means I don't think I could do it.
Dazzler, as for the move on thing, I'm now married to woman I adore, have the best daughter in the world and another on the way. If this account was closed I would not have a seconds thought for my ex, I couldn't care less. There's just that bit of me that thinks she cost me a lot of money after our split, this would get back a tiny part of that (and get it off my credit card).
Close the account, don't take the money and go about your life with the warm satisfaction of knowing you did the right thing (rather than worrying about the £500 you have in your pocket - it's just not worth it).
Read this thread yesterday and was walking past my bank today, suddenly had the urge to make sure my old joint account with my b word of an ex fiancée was closed
Read this thread yesterday and was walking past my bank today, suddenly had the urge to make sure my old joint account with my b word of an ex fiancée was closed
I've tried to just get my name removed several times - between Santander being useless and her being awkward it's not worked so closing it seems my only option so it's done and dusted. I wish it had been as easy as just getting my name removed months ago like I tried.
She's not using it as her main account by the looks of it, just an extra one as far as I can see.
Cheers for the advice, backs up what I thought really - as It's Hamer Time and others have said, it's her kid that means I don't think I could do it.
Dazzler, as for the move on thing, I'm now married to woman I adore, have the best daughter in the world and another on the way. If this account was closed I would not have a seconds thought for my ex, I couldn't care less. There's just that bit of me that thinks she cost me a lot of money after our split, this would get back a tiny part of that (and get it off my credit card).
Suspect push comes to shove, I couldn't do it.
If you can't get your name taken off the account then that is an issue. Sounds like you're not on speaking terms with her but could you not issue an ultimatum whereby you say 'unless you cooperate with me and help remove my name from the account then I will close it etc'
Not so much as a threat, but she doesn't have a right to use your name in a way that could mess up your credit score or make you liable for debts, in as much a way that you don't have the right to take the money from the account.
Sounds like having to deal with her is a bit of a 'mare
I've tried to just get my name removed several times - between Santander being useless and her being awkward it's not worked so closing it seems my only option so it's done and dusted. I wish it had been as easy as just getting my name removed months ago like I tried.
She's not using it as her main account by the looks of it, just an extra one as far as I can see.
Cheers for the advice, backs up what I thought really - as It's Hamer Time and others have said, it's her kid that means I don't think I could do it.
Dazzler, as for the move on thing, I'm now married to woman I adore, have the best daughter in the world and another on the way. If this account was closed I would not have a seconds thought for my ex, I couldn't care less. There's just that bit of me that thinks she cost me a lot of money after our split, this would get back a tiny part of that (and get it off my credit card).
Suspect push comes to shove, I couldn't do it.
Stop buggering about talking to us and get the bank to take you off the account.
Phone this woman (she's Director of Customer Services UK Banking) and get it sorted. Tell her it's a formal complaint and you want it recorded as such. Ask for her email address so that you can put the matter in writing.
Susan Willis Santander UK Plc 2 Triton Square Regent's Place London NW1 3AN Phone: 0845 600 6014
I've heard about the antics of Santander and they sound absolutely ruthless (or just hopeless by design), but you should get some joy from using cafcfan's advise. I don't understand why your ex is so unwilling to have your name removed from the account though, given your troubled history!
You sound rightly agrieved if you've been stitched up financially, but nicking the money isn't right (presuming that it relates to a series of disputed bills) and by the sounds of it wouldn't cover what you think you're owed anyway.
A couple of people have said that 'legally' the money is yours - this is complete tosh.
Google Northall 2010 - the following principles apply:
1. When one person puts money into joint names there is a presumption of a resulting trust to the provider of those funds. The presumption can be ‘rebutted’ if the circumstances give rise to something called the presumption of advancement, or by evidence that the provider intended to transfer the beneficial interest;
2. The burden of proving such an intention is on the person who is alleging it.
In English, the default position is that the money legally belongs to the person that deposited it, unless you can prove otherwise.
I've tried to just get my name removed several times - between Santander being useless and her being awkward it's not worked so closing it seems my only option so it's done and dusted. I wish it had been as easy as just getting my name removed months ago like I tried.
She's not using it as her main account by the looks of it, just an extra one as far as I can see.
Cheers for the advice, backs up what I thought really - as It's Hamer Time and others have said, it's her kid that means I don't think I could do it.
Dazzler, as for the move on thing, I'm now married to woman I adore, have the best daughter in the world and another on the way. If this account was closed I would not have a seconds thought for my ex, I couldn't care less. There's just that bit of me that thinks she cost me a lot of money after our split, this would get back a tiny part of that (and get it off my credit card).
Suspect push comes to shove, I couldn't do it.
Stop buggering about talking to us and get the bank to take you off the account.
Phone this woman (she's Director of Customer Services UK Banking) and get it sorted. Tell her it's a formal complaint and you want it recorded as such. Ask for her email address so that you can put the matter in writing.
Susan Willis Santander UK Plc 2 Triton Square Regent's Place London NW1 3AN Phone: 0845 600 6014
Not that simple, sadly - Santander can't close it without her signature, which she's being a pain about providing.
What they did wrong is (wrongly) confirm to me it was closed when she'd told me she had signed the forms etc. The most I'd get from them is an apology for confirming wrong - and knowing Santander not even that. They wouldn't close it.
So I see my only course of action as waiting for it to be in credit which it appears to be about half the time (not today, sadly) and close it as I can close it on my own when it's in credit.
I've tried to just get my name removed several times - between Santander being useless and her being awkward it's not worked so closing it seems my only option so it's done and dusted. I wish it had been as easy as just getting my name removed months ago like I tried.
She's not using it as her main account by the looks of it, just an extra one as far as I can see.
Cheers for the advice, backs up what I thought really - as It's Hamer Time and others have said, it's her kid that means I don't think I could do it.
Dazzler, as for the move on thing, I'm now married to woman I adore, have the best daughter in the world and another on the way. If this account was closed I would not have a seconds thought for my ex, I couldn't care less. There's just that bit of me that thinks she cost me a lot of money after our split, this would get back a tiny part of that (and get it off my credit card).
Suspect push comes to shove, I couldn't do it.
Stop buggering about talking to us and get the bank to take you off the account.
Phone this woman (she's Director of Customer Services UK Banking) and get it sorted. Tell her it's a formal complaint and you want it recorded as such. Ask for her email address so that you can put the matter in writing.
Susan Willis Santander UK Plc 2 Triton Square Regent's Place London NW1 3AN Phone: 0845 600 6014
Not that simple, sadly - Santander can't close it without her signature, which she's being a pain about providing.
What they did wrong is (wrongly) confirm to me it was closed when she'd told me she had signed the forms etc. The most I'd get from them is an apology for confirming wrong - and knowing Santander not even that. They wouldn't close it.
So I see my only course of action as waiting for it to be in credit which it appears to be about half the time (not today, sadly) and close it as I can close it on my own when it's in credit.
Surely all you need is your name removed?
If they do that then it doesn't matter to you whether or not the account is open or closed. It would no longer be your account.
Yes, Let, but I can't get my name removed apparently without both signatures.
But if what you have told us is correct, you have already been taken off the account, so the only thing that's outstanding is dealing with the bank's incompetence. (They have previous for this see forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=3209364)
Honestly, if the account is in credit and you have not been involved in the authorisation of the overdraft facility, they really should not mess you around like this. Speak to the director responsible. Tell her that the bank's incompetence is leaving you open to the possibility of erroneous financial claims and a potentially damaged credit rating and you will expect the bank to rectify that. Tell her you are cancelling the joint account mandate with immediate effect.
Read this thread yesterday and was walking past my bank today, suddenly had the urge to make sure my old joint account with my b word of an ex hairdresser was closed
The chap is pretty succinct in saying he has no desire to deprive anyone, the bank and his ex are being pricks. I wouldn't blame him for withdrawing all the 2.50 that it sounds like would be in if it was ever in credit and closing it.
Banks are run by computers and stats. I would close the poxy thing and let the ex, who doesn't sound vulnerable and mentally incapable of dealing with this sort of shit to sort herself out with another account she can use as a source of cash. Well out of order you ask me to just accept having and account your name is attached to be used like this
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Get the bank to take your name off the account. You should also apply for a letter of disassociation which will ensure that your credit records are separated and you will not be effected by her constant overdraft.
Is there a reason she has it open still? I'm assuming she's using this as her main bank account now? Maybe she thought it was easier to keep this one open rather than going through the drama of a new one?
If it's a shitty ex-relationship as it is, meddling around will probably mean it will make your life more difficult further down the line. Save yourself the hassle, do the bare minimum of removing yourself from the account and draw a line under it.
Plus her 1 y/o is an innocent party in this who could be affected.
Sounds like you're in a decent position anyway, so be the bigger person and take gratification from that.
Easy.
She's not using it as her main account by the looks of it, just an extra one as far as I can see.
Cheers for the advice, backs up what I thought really - as It's Hamer Time and others have said, it's her kid that means I don't think I could do it.
Dazzler, as for the move on thing, I'm now married to woman I adore, have the best daughter in the world and another on the way. If this account was closed I would not have a seconds thought for my ex, I couldn't care less. There's just that bit of me that thinks she cost me a lot of money after our split, this would get back a tiny part of that (and get it off my credit card).
Suspect push comes to shove, I couldn't do it.
I do, stay away from my family 8)
Not so much as a threat, but she doesn't have a right to use your name in a way that could mess up your credit score or make you liable for debts, in as much a way that you don't have the right to take the money from the account.
Sounds like having to deal with her is a bit of a 'mare
Phone this woman (she's Director of Customer Services UK Banking) and get it sorted. Tell her it's a formal complaint and you want it recorded as such. Ask for her email address so that you can put the matter in writing.
Susan Willis
Santander UK Plc
2 Triton Square
Regent's Place
London
NW1 3AN
Phone: 0845 600 6014
You sound rightly agrieved if you've been stitched up financially, but nicking the money isn't right (presuming that it relates to a series of disputed bills) and by the sounds of it wouldn't cover what you think you're owed anyway.
Google Northall 2010 - the following principles apply:
1. When one person puts money into joint names there is a presumption of a resulting trust to the provider of those funds. The presumption can be ‘rebutted’ if the circumstances give rise to something called the presumption of advancement, or by evidence that the provider intended to transfer the beneficial interest;
2. The burden of proving such an intention is on the person who is alleging it.
In English, the default position is that the money legally belongs to the person that deposited it, unless you can prove otherwise.
Strongly suggest you leave it alone!
What they did wrong is (wrongly) confirm to me it was closed when she'd told me she had signed the forms etc. The most I'd get from them is an apology for confirming wrong - and knowing Santander not even that. They wouldn't close it.
So I see my only course of action as waiting for it to be in credit which it appears to be about half the time (not today, sadly) and close it as I can close it on my own when it's in credit.
If they do that then it doesn't matter to you whether or not the account is open or closed. It would no longer be your account.
Honestly, if the account is in credit and you have not been involved in the authorisation of the overdraft facility, they really should not mess you around like this. Speak to the director responsible. Tell her that the bank's incompetence is leaving you open to the possibility of erroneous financial claims and a potentially damaged credit rating and you will expect the bank to rectify that. Tell her you are cancelling the joint account mandate with immediate effect.
adviceguide.org.uk/nireland/debt_ni/debt_banking_e/joint_bank_accounts.htm#h_if_there_is_disagreement_about_a_joint_account
The chap is pretty succinct in saying he has no desire to deprive anyone, the bank and his ex are being pricks. I wouldn't blame him for withdrawing all the 2.50 that it sounds like would be in if it was ever in credit and closing it.
Banks are run by computers and stats. I would close the poxy thing and let the ex, who doesn't sound vulnerable and mentally incapable of dealing with this sort of shit to sort herself out with another account she can use as a source of cash. Well out of order you ask me to just accept having and account your name is attached to be used like this