Funniest things you have seen ON the pitch

AFKABartram

Doesn't have to be at a pro game, could be non-league or park level.

At Hall Place about five years ago a midfielder was bursting through our defence, our centre half gave him a bit of a shoulder barge, and completely out the blue, this fella's hand falls off. Turns out he had a false one, game had to be halted while he screwed it back in.

In shock at the time, but can't remember ever laughing so much in the dressing room afterwards.

MCS

That fat Bloke who streaked on the pitch at Palace away in the play offs (96 97 ish).

Dont think that tops your story tho Bartram lol!

Also, when the programmes came down onto the pitch v Leicester after Brownie was sent/strechered off. I was in the West Upper, and i threw 3 Programmes, great fun watching all the blokes walk round and pick them up!

AFKABartram

Also remember Trevor Sinclair i think it was leaning on the post reading one !

There was one leaflet that came out of the Upper West that reached the other side of the pitch. Looked like it had been designed as a small aircraft. Whoever made that one deserved an award.

Dutch Addick

Check this one: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vaFm47lsL2g

MCS

Anyone remember the one involving a lino, a player sliding, it was at afc wimbledon and was on youtube or something.

Charlton Dan

Jon Fortunes goal against Palace! F***ing hilarious to see all those muggy Nigels crying into their Chrystal Palace scarves

MCS

Yeah, it was great, i stayed singing sha la la until every last NIgel filtered out of the Jimmy Seed! What a day that was.

righthandbackward

that horizontally-challenged woman on the pitch at half-time at palarse a few seasons back, going on about something into her microphone but i could not for the life of me hear what she was saying.

then she came over to try and have a right go but she was drowned out by one of the loudest renditions of "Valley Floyd Road" I've heard in a long time!!! Hope we can recreate that sort of atmosphere at Fulham!!!

Kitsons 88th minute winner was pretty funny as well.

Ledge

Mervyn Day's spectacular stack about 2-3 seasons ago on the touchline. He went to kick something and went ass over tit.

Funny as hell.

ns_eb_rj_s?

I've got a funny one!

Our last two managers keep playing this bloke who I dont realy think is a Pro Footballer, Maybe Lower League! He Gets a game every week, Strolls around, tries a few things that dont come off etc! He must be Brilliant in Training.

I might ask for a game, I'm good at Pro Evo!

Rather Have Nerris Hughes!

Charlton Dan

[cite] righthandbackward:[/cite]that horizontally-challenged woman on the pitch at half-time at palarse a few seasons back, going on about something into her microphone but i could not for the life of me hear what she was saying.

then she came over to try and have a right go but she was drowned out by one of the loudest renditions of "Valley Floyd Road" I've heard in a long time!!! Hope we can recreate that sort of atmosphere at Fulham!!!

Kitsons 88th minute winner was pretty funny as well.

Similarly Stan Boardman at h/t at Anfield in the cup a few seasons ago when he was trying to tell a few cockney jokes only to get totally drowned out by the 3000 or so Addicks and then decided to quit while he was behind and walked off after 5mins waving his hankie in the air

Heath Hero

I remember that - "Who are ya, who are ya"

AFKABartram

i've also seen a ball explode,

and a lad take a corner, miss the ball and kick the corner flag 20 yards into the box.

Off_it

Pro game - Mark Reid knocking the ref out

Amateur - the sentre forward I was marking honking up everywhere at a corner. Nice!

1905

Me in goal at Hall Place. I let a back pass, which was travelling at 5 mph (in the days when you could pick it up), through my hands and legs and into the net it rolled.

The ref was expecting a big kick so was running back up the field and had his back to the "action". He had to run back and ask me what had happened. The shame of it................

Curb_It

[cite] 1905:[/cite]Me in goal at Hall Place. I let a back pass, which was travelling at 5 mph (in the days when you could pick it up), through my hands and legs and into the net it rolled.

The ref was expecting a big kick so was running back up the field and had his back to the "action". He had to run back and ask me what had happened. The shame of it................

lolololololololololol

Curb_It

oh 1905 - the size of you.
lolololololololololollollololololol

1905

I felt about a foot tall that day B ....................

Off_it

As opposed to feeling a foot long, eh? ;o)

Dazzler21

[cite]Posted By: AFKABartram[/cite]Also remember Trevor Sinclair i think it was leaning on the post reading one !

There was one leaflet that came out of the Upper West that reached the other side of the pitch. Looked like it had been designed as a small aircraft. Whoever made that one deserved an award.

THAT WAS ME!!!!!!!

Oh Wait no it wasn't you said west stand ( I did that in the north upper when i was in the Jblock !

McLovin

Fat and cold-affected streaker on a Monday night against Villa, rubbing Deon Dublin's head before deftly avoiding about 5 onrushing stewards and tearing away up the line before one steward desperately rugby tackled him, his face fully submerging for a moment (but it must have felt like weeks to the lad) between our tubby hero's cheeks.

Swisdom

Mark Robson getting taken out by a corner flag - that made me chuckle!!

Sunday league - my dad was running the line and we were playing a bunch of bruisers in the LYFA cup. One of their dads was on the touchline and my old man kept asking him to stand back from the line and was just getting abused.
Next time we were on the attack he "overlooked" a blatant offside from our striker - and then as he ran down the line to keep up with play he dipped his shoulder into this bloke and sent him into the brambles 6 feet away from the pitch.

We lost the game but my dad was a legend for doing that.

Carter

I've kicked a corner flag before now and I can tell thee it 'kin hurts! All the rest of my side and the oppostion were on their arses with laughter. Funnily enough I didn't find that too funny.

My mate Jim once went in for a 50/50 over stretched and a likkle bit of shit came out of him, he didn't say anything to anyone except me and our keeper. At half time (this was over at Temple school on a Sunday morning circa 2002) he blazed off the pitch towards te changing rooms whole we were all strolling over for a brew and team talk, once he got there hanging out for an Eartha he discovered the doors were locked so he had a dump in the bin, wiped up with his pants and legged it back to join us and even caught the end of the team talk and had time to smoke a fag.

Dazzler21

Pro Game: Deano's Subbing of the ref or Whoever it was booking a ref.

Amateur Game: My friend who is a goal keeper:

Throwing the ball out of goal the ball hit his defender in the arse whilst he slipped over and the ball rolled straight in!

DaveMehmet

[cite]Posted By: Curb_It[/cite]

[cite]1905:[/cite]Me in goal at Hall Place. I let a back pass, which was travelling at 5 mph (in the days when you could pick it up), through my hands and legs and into the net it rolled.

The ref was expecting a big kick so was running back up the field and had his back to the "action". He had to run back and ask me what had happened. The shame of it................

lolololololololololol

And who was the dashing right back that day who was secretly p*ssing himself, even thought it was about the 4th goal we'd conceded!!

JT

I remember on a really boggy pitch for an u17 team, i rounded the keeper and passed the ball in the net, at least i thought i had, went off celebrating not realising the bal lhad actually just got to the line and stopped in the mud. They were playing on whilst i was still running away arms outstretched.

CAFCBourne

Over at Upton Park i was in the south stand that day in a box and Chris Powell had pinched a few yards with a free kick and the chicken run was giving him abuse so he rolled it back a yard but they still claimed it further, so he turned faced them walked towards them and put it down the otherside of the touchline (out of play) and pointed was that ok to the chicken run got a warm round of apalause from them for that good bit of banter. still makes me chuckle legend end of.

adamtheaddick

at school think we were playing bishop chandler, one of there players went up for a header came down and had shat himself.. had to be subsituted we laughed so much we let in 3 before our coach rollocked us lost 7 5 in the end god i miss those days...

1905

[cite]Posted By: DaveMehmet[/cite]

[cite]Posted By: Curb_It[/cite]

[cite]1905:[/cite]Me in goal at Hall Place. I let a back pass, which was travelling at 5 mph (in the days when you could pick it up), through my hands and legs and into the net it rolled.

The ref was expecting a big kick so was running back up the field and had his back to the "action". He had to run back and ask me what had happened. The shame of it................

lolololololololololol

And who was the dashing right back that day who was secretly p*ssing himself, even thought it was about the 4th goal we'd conceded!!

Yep - they were happy days. A game of Sunday morning football and then 5 or 6 pints in the Albert, afternnon kip, and then full on down the Bear followed by curry. Could wake up go to work on Monday and not feel a thing - these days four pints gives me a hangover....

CAFCBourne

[cite]Posted By: 1905[/cite]

[cite]Posted By: DaveMehmet[/cite]

[cite]Posted By: Curb_It[/cite]

[cite]1905:[/cite]Me in goal at Hall Place. I let a back pass, which was travelling at 5 mph (in the days when you could pick it up), through my hands and legs and into the net it rolled.

The ref was expecting a big kick so was running back up the field and had his back to the "action". He had to run back and ask me what had happened. The shame of it................

lolololololololololol

And who was the dashing right back that day who was secretly p*ssing himself, even thought it was about the 4th goal we'd conceded!!

Yep - they were happy days. A game of Sunday morning football and then 5 or 6 pints in the Albert, afternnon kip, and then full on down the Bear followed by curry. Could wake up go to work on Monday and not feel a thing - these days four pints gives me a hangover....

Thats because there is no afternoon kip;-)

Elthamaddick

Playing one sunday morning my mate had his 6 yr old boy on the touchline watching and playing about, turned around halfway through the 1st half and he was p*ssing in the bucket....not alot of injuries that day funnily enough.