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Massage - Have you ever had one CL pole

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  • Most countries in Asia I have had one. some very good, some poor. Had a very good one in the shangri la hotel in Manila.

    Me to on this at the Shangri La hotel, and also another one just outside Makati City (nr Manila) at a health club - it was very relaxing.
  • Rob said:

    Yes. Had a few. Overrated imo unless they come with a happy ending.

    Before I opened the thread I figured, the first person to make a cheap happy ending joke should get the QI alarm.
  • C_A_F_C said:

    Rob said:

    C_A_F_C said:

    Does Piotr Parzyszek count?

    He gave you a massage?
    I think he's talking about the CL pole
    He gave him the CL pole?
    Maybe that's why he hasn't been playing?
  • yes in many different countries but the best on was in Japan, first massage I had was an electric massage chair in a barbers in Penang where the barbers were scantily clad young ladies -best short back and sides I've ever had :smiley:
  • edited August 2015
    Got a good story, well half decent, of a 3 of pals going to the proz house that use to be above the offy next to Welling FC; one of em was in his dressing gown waiting for his "massage" when the other two, fully clothed, took all his clothes and run out the door with him in hot persuit, running down Welling High Street naked at 3am (as the story goes, but I reckon he was possibly in his undercracker).
  • Many many years ago I had a massage in a Turkish bath in Istanbul. It basically consisted of the bloke beating the living bejaysus out of me, and trying to dislocate each limb, Wasn't too bad once it finished.
    Had several in Beijing and they're good. As a student we learned to do a bit of massage which included walking on somebody's spine with the sides of the feet.
    Massaging a pole is more your Crystal Palace undertaking I would've thought.
  • No one else had a schvitz? (no, it's not another way of saying having a dump)

    proper old school stuff for real men
  • Love a massage me.

    Even the ones girls come round pubs and festivals doing for charity, ive had back problems in the past and along with stretching and exercise. Massages are fantastic, just bloody expensive compared to ibuprofen

    It's difficult not to feel like a bit of a pervert going somewhere for a massage but that is more down to my Internet search history rather than masseuses being undercover handpumpers

    Anyway, the one I had in Turkey was as unerotic as they come. Like others have said, massive turkish dude trying to dislocate and break me. Felt great afterwards though
  • It's a yes from me! In the hotel on Langkawi.
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  • Pedro45 said:

    It's a yes from me! In the hotel on Langkawi.

    Langkawi is great! Having been around a lot of Asia have had loads, always good when you can get a good massage for £5. Don't tend to get them here as one massage equates to a trip to the valley so a bit too pricey! Had lots of physio massages recently though, which tend to cause more pain than relaxation.
  • Pedro45 said:

    It's a yes from me! In the hotel on Langkawi.

    Langkawi is great! Having been around a lot of Asia have had loads, always good when you can get a good massage for £5. Don't tend to get them here as one massage equates to a trip to the valley so a bit too pricey! Had lots of physio massages recently though, which tend to cause more pain than relaxation.
    I find with the physiotherapy massage you ache the day after in the areas that have been manipulated but the day after that is a joyful feeling
  • I've had a sports/deep tissue massage from our very own Rylo and a pleasant experience it certainly is not.
    He knows his stuff though and I can thoroughly recommend him.
  • One from a man when on holiday in the Maldives. Next to my wife. Both wearing paper pants. Thankfully my heterosexuality stood firm and I didn't even have a twinge.

    One from a ridiculously hot woman in Turkish hotel. Again next to my wife who was being slung around by a HUGE man. Worryingly I didn't get so much as a twinge so god only knows which way I swing.

    Keep promising myself I will get one done monthly but just never seem to get the time.
  • Pedro45 said:

    It's a yes from me! In the hotel on Langkawi.

    Langkawi is great! Having been around a lot of Asia have had loads, always good when you can get a good massage for £5. Don't tend to get them here as one massage equates to a trip to the valley so a bit too pricey! Had lots of physio massages recently though, which tend to cause more pain than relaxation.
    If I got charged a fiver id have a heart attack.

    45mins sets me back around 2 quid, gotta love China.
  • edited August 2015
    I have had more than one, I most enjoy sports massages.

    I don't like soft massages, they have to be deep tissue, otherwise they just flipping tickle.
  • Pedro45 said:

    It's a yes from me! In the hotel on Langkawi.

    Me too, at the Sheraton beach resort.
    Langkawi is bloody beautiful and cheap as chips!
  • Dazzler21 said:

    I have had more than one, I most enjoy sports massages.

    I don't like soft massages, they have to be deep tissue, otherwise they just flipping tickle.

    Without the slap
  • Dazzler21 said:

    I have had more than one, I most enjoy sports massages.

    I don't like soft massages, they have to be deep tissue, otherwise they just flipping tickle I get a semi-on and can't get up for a good 5 mins .

    Fix that ; )
  • It's when the masseur has semi-on you have to worry.
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  • Had a few when on holidays etc

    Had an unexpected shoulder head and neck massage first night I was in Bangkok.
    Was in a bar and went for piss and just as I started to flow a 70 year old man started massaging my shoulders including the old fast double handed karate chops and then massaged my scalp.

    I gave him some cash and presume he worked there and wasnt just some toilet massage fetishist.

  • MrOneLung said:

    Had a few when on holidays etc

    Had an unexpected shoulder head and neck massage first night I was in Bangkok.
    Was in a bar and went for piss and just as I started to flow a 70 year old man started massaging my shoulders including the old fast double handed karate chops and then massaged my scalp.

    I gave him some cash and presume he worked there and wasnt just some toilet massage fetishist.

    Well known in Bangkok, for a few baht they will even give it a little shake.
  • I regularly have a sports massage. At the time I have no idea why I pay sp much to be hurt like hell but by jove my body stays in good shape!
  • MrOneLung said:

    Had a few when on holidays etc

    Had an unexpected shoulder head and neck massage first night I was in Bangkok.
    Was in a bar and went for piss and just as I started to flow a 70 year old man started massaging my shoulders including the old fast double handed karate chops and then massaged my scalp.

    I gave him some cash and presume he worked there and wasnt just some toilet massage fetishist.

    Well known in Bangkok, for a few baht they will even give it a little shake.
    Will they do it for about 5 minutes for an extra baht?
  • Weirdest, most unpleasant massage I have had was in a nightclub in Thailand. Walk into the toilets, all looks normal, go to the urinal and start to empty my bladder. Next thing I know some guy is giving me a back massage. I'm mid stream after a few beers, what can you do.

    Tried to move away but to no avail and see only the foreigners are suffering the same fate. After a lifetime it's over with and I get out of there as fast as I can. Never had that anywhere else. Certainly not relaxing.

    At least I got to watch the change in my friend's face from before going in the toilet to what he looked like when he left.

  • Weirdest, most unpleasant massage I have had was in a nightclub in Thailand. Walk into the toilets, all looks normal, go to the urinal and start to empty my bladder. Next thing I know some guy is giving me a back massage. I'm mid stream after a few beers, what can you do.

    Spin round for a happy ending?
  • I've had a sports/deep tissue massage from our very own Rylo and a pleasant experience it certainly is not.
    He knows his stuff though and I can thoroughly recommend him.

    Delivered the most important massage any Charlton fan ever has, tbf!
  • Love a good Hamam followed by an exfoliation. Had an excellent one in a spa in Morocco. Also good ones in Vegas and Stuttgart (of all places).
    Not so much into Saunas, but do like a steam bath.
  • brogib said:

    Weirdest, most unpleasant massage I have had was in a nightclub in Thailand. Walk into the toilets, all looks normal, go to the urinal and start to empty my bladder. Next thing I know some guy is giving me a back massage. I'm mid stream after a few beers, what can you do.

    Spin round for a happy ending?
    That would give a whole new meaning to the term 'piss up'.
  • edited August 2015
    .
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