First day of work advice

lolwray

if its the government then expect to be put to work in counter espionage immediately ,expect to be given a brief case with lots of gadgets,an aston martin and have secretaries simper and fawn at your feet , i expect you ll quickly be trained how to take your martinis and use a walther ppk ....i will be extremely suprised if this doesnt happen so do be prepared id start practising "the names addick , canters addick "

Addickted

Do what I did, when my new Director asked me if I had any questions following on from a short induction.... "Can I have the afternoon off"?

Well, we were playing Newport County away and I had a train to catch.

Garrymanilow

ForeverAddickted said:

Don't go asking who the Office Slut is!!

Agreed. If you can't figure that out for yourself you're not ready for the working world

AddicksAddict

DaveMehmet said:

Try not to bone the secretary in your first week.

Don't get involved romantically with anyone you work with in any way whatsoever.

Garrymanilow

AddicksAddict said:

DaveMehmet said:

Try not to bone the secretary in your first week.

Don't get involved romantically with anyone you work with in any way whatsoever.

Unless they're really fit/dirty

AddicksAddict

Baldybonce said:

DaveMehmet said:

Try not to bone the secretary in your first week.

'specially if his name is Bob.

That's two assumptions in one sentence. I'm impressed.

Red Riding Hoodie

soapy_jones said:

AFKABartram said:

Week 1 - Seek out instances where effective health and safety procedures are not being applied.
Week 2 - buy a reclining sun lounger for the garden and book a doctors appointment (takes a fortnight these days)
Week 3 - injure yourself at work
Week 4 - visit doctors and appoint law firm to represent

Good luck CA, just be yourself and write up everything you think might be useful to know. If you work in an office with more than a couple of people in, sketch out a map of all the desk positions and whenever you get introduced to someone, go back to your plan and write their name against their desk. Best way to remember names.

Good plan. I did that once but got lots of strange looks until i realised it was one of these hot desk offices!

Many Gvt Depts hot desk!

AddicksAddict

hawksmoor said:

If you ask the boss's secretary to tap-dance for you in the stationary cupboard, try not to clap your hands and squeal, 'Bouncy, bouncy!'

I think most cupboards are stationary.

Latimer

Smile, people like and respond to a happy disposition.

Manners maketh man, please, thank you, good morning, good night, it costs nothing to be pleasant.

AddicksAddict

Garrymanilow said:

AddicksAddict said:

DaveMehmet said:

Try not to bone the secretary in your first week.

Don't get involved romantically with anyone you work with in any way whatsoever.

Unless they're really fit/dirty

Especially if they're really dirty. Unless, that is, you're happy for your genitalia to go green and fall off.

cantersaddick

Mendonca In Asdas said:

All the best CA.

Thanks mate!

cantersaddick

AFKABartram said:

Week 1 - Seek out instances where effective health and safety procedures are not being applied.
Week 2 - buy a reclining sun lounger for the garden and book a doctors appointment (takes a fortnight these days)
Week 3 - injure yourself at work
Week 4 - visit doctors and appoint law firm to represent

Good luck CA, just be yourself and write up everything you think might be useful to know. If you work in an office with more than a couple of people in, sketch out a map of all the desk positions and whenever you get introduced to someone, go back to your plan and write their name against their desk. Best way to remember names.

Cheers AFKA!

LenGlover

AddicksAddict said:

DaveMehmet said:

Try not to bone the secretary in your first week.

Don't get involved romantically with anyone you work with in any way whatsoever.

Or, to put it more succinctly, don't poke the payroll

cantersaddick

Another question I have a cousins wedding at the beginning of November which I would like a few days off for.. when/how do I bring this up and to who?

I don't wanna leave it to late that it's not possible but I don't think it's a great idea to walk in the door saying can I book holiday...

Pedro45

Wait until your induction - they will show you how to use the holiday booking system, and as a test you can actually book those days you want off!

cabbles

Well done Canters!!!! Ditto every sensible thing that's been said, but if you're feeling adventurous ask your colleagues what they think about banners welcoming refugees at football matches

RedChaser

On the tea / coffee making front make it almost undrinkable and you won't be asked to do it again, trust me

If you are given tasks and cope with them in good time don't sit there twiddling your thumbs. Take the initiative, go to your line manager and ask if there is something else you can help with, oh and good luck.

On the holiday front, I always used to ask new staff if they had any holiday or other commitments pre booked. If that doesn't happen and there is no opportunity on the forms you may be asked to complete, mention it in the welcoming meeting at an appropriate moment.

Stig

cantersaddick said:

Another question I have a cousins wedding at the beginning of November which I would like a few days off for.. when/how do I bring this up and to who?

I don't wanna leave it to late that it's not possible but I don't think it's a great idea to walk in the door saying can I book holiday...

Speak with your line manager. I'd do as early as you feel comfortable with. Before you do though, mark that time out in your calendar to show that you'll be out of the office. That should minimise the chances of people inviting you to meetings at that time.

Clem_Snide

Red Riding Hoodie said:

soapy_jones said:

AFKABartram said:

Week 1 - Seek out instances where effective health and safety procedures are not being applied.
Week 2 - buy a reclining sun lounger for the garden and book a doctors appointment (takes a fortnight these days)
Week 3 - injure yourself at work
Week 4 - visit doctors and appoint law firm to represent

Good luck CA, just be yourself and write up everything you think might be useful to know. If you work in an office with more than a couple of people in, sketch out a map of all the desk positions and whenever you get introduced to someone, go back to your plan and write their name against their desk. Best way to remember names.

Good plan. I did that once but got lots of strange looks until i realised it was one of these hot desk offices!

Many Gvt Depts hot desk!

Is hot desking the same as the scousers habit of hot leg?

bazjonster

LargeAddick said:

sorry, working in Government isn't a 'real' job

Oh I dunno? I worked for 28 years in a Government department; the MoD, Royal Air Force! Felt pretty real to me!!

Lincsaddick

DaveMehmet said:

Try not to bone the secretary in your first week.

or rather do try if the 'vibe' is right .. just do it discreetly and don't sulk if you misread the vibe and she tells you to go hither ((:>)

LargeAddick

Chizz said:

It's the Government, so there's no need to turn up early. In fact, you should aim to get there about 45 minutes late. Then, in the afternoon (this is the *really* important bit), start to pack up your things about an hour before "home time". If anyone asks, just say to them, "well there's no point being late both ends of the day, is there?"

You forgot the two hours plus lunch break, not to forget morning and afternoon tea breaks

Lincsaddick

oh and good luck .. only 45 years to go until you 'retire'

Wheresmeticket

Be friendly, have a laugh, but moatly watch and listen how people do stuff. Avoid the ones whos idea of conversation is moaning about the job.
Your main task on day one is to get in on time, fully dressed and to avoid breaking things. They probably won't expect much more than that. You are going to be shitting youself so get out of bed in plenty of time to help you avoid rushing around adding to the anxiety. By 6pm you will be feeling fantastic.

AFKABartram

LargeAddick said:

Chizz said:

It's the Government, so there's no need to turn up early. In fact, you should aim to get there about 45 minutes late. Then, in the afternoon (this is the *really* important bit), start to pack up your things about an hour before "home time". If anyone asks, just say to them, "well there's no point being late both ends of the day, is there?"

You forgot the two hours plus lunch break, not to forget morning and afternoon tea breaks

love to know where you experienced this in the last 15 years Large. Will happily swop my working hours (and pay) with you.

Wheresmeticket

LargeAddick said:

Chizz said:

It's the Government, so there's no need to turn up early. In fact, you should aim to get there about 45 minutes late. Then, in the afternoon (this is the *really* important bit), start to pack up your things about an hour before "home time". If anyone asks, just say to them, "well there's no point being late both ends of the day, is there?"

You forgot the two hours plus lunch break, not to forget morning and afternoon tea breaks

Ah no, I see what you've done there. You've confused "Government job" with "Fund manager".

PL54

Listen and learn mostly.

I just changed jobs and industries to a large extent at the age of 45 - I certainly have a lot to learn in the new environment so I guess you might too.

Be cautious but confident (a bit like being in prison (I imagine)).

Make sure you know your employment contract (including probation and notice clauses) and be attentive to your spelling, use of italics and capital letters.

Most importantly check out the internet policy and level of monitoring so you don't get done for logging on here when they are paying you.

PL54

Garrymanilow said:

AddicksAddict said:

DaveMehmet said:

Try not to bone the secretary in your first week.

Don't get involved romantically with anyone you work with in any way whatsoever.

Unless they're really fit/dirty

And / or your wife

Mortimerician

If someone asks you to do something (in your remit) do it quicker than they'd expect. It is not hard to look good in the British workplace.

Be smart and courteous.

Take advantage of training opportunities.

If the big dog starts looking at you. Take him out. Pool ball in a sock. Coins in a sock. Hammer in a sock. Just bop him and announce to your colleagues that you are now the daddy. Although be aware that means you are there to be shot at.

Do not go to the greenhouses. Under any circumstances.

BrentfordAddick

Enjoy the job. Loads of good advice. Just looking at our recent starters I would say: Be 5 minutes early. One bloke was 45 mins early, looked ridiculous. So reckon on there being loads of transport grief, get close to the office early and go find somewhere to have a cuppa and read your paper. When you go in, confident handshake but not cocky. Dress smartly. Shave. Laugh at people's jokes but don't make your own. have a notebook and pen and write down what you need to remember. As HI says with the tea. If you are invited to the pub, go easy and don't get lashed.

And don't tell them you are Charlton. Then, when you bunk off to get to an away game they will just think you are ill.