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First day of work advice

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  • First day - brush your willy onto the bosses hand whilst walking past, make sure others see it and also hear you comment on it.

    The rest of your employment there - do what ever the fuck you like.
  • How did you get on Canters mate?
  • How did you get on Canters mate?

    Monday is my first day I will let you all know! :)
  • How did you get on Canters mate?

    Monday is my first day I will let you all know! :)
    Good luck pal.
  • How did you get on Canters mate?

    Monday is my first day I will let you all know! :)
    Good luck pal.
    Cheers! :)
  • Good luck canters.
  • So I saw all the great advice dished out on the university advice thread and I wonder what words of wisdom Charlton life would have for me.

    On monday I'm starting a years placement at a government department working as an economic analyst.

    This is my first "real" job so I'm a little nervous... anyone do a similar sort of thing and have any tips or just any new job/first day at work tips!

    Thanks!

    Dont be late look smart and dont be lazy be good starting points
  • Take your Mum with you, and ignore this lot.

  • And don't tell them you are Charlton. Then, when you bunk off to get to an away game they will just think you are ill.

    Or insane.
  • Never think it's too early to put a tiny bit extra into your pension. You will seriously regret not doing a bit more eventually.
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  • Under promise, over deliver.

    That one phrase has meant I've managed to get away with reading Charlton Life all day whilst still looking good.
  • Brush your teeth
  • Good luck canters. Don't work too hard to start with or they will expect you to keep it up throughout your time there.
  • Good luck

    Don't be arrogant, there will be people there who've been doing their job for 10/20 years, and won't appreciate some kid after 2 days questioning what they do (even if you think they're useless and doing everything wrong)
    Ask questions, and listen to the replies. Try and look enthusiastic, even if you have the "Charlton 4-0 and down to 10 men" feeling.
    Generally laugh at office humour rather than trying to be the life and soul of the party, but the odd witty contribution will be good as well, to show people you're not completely boring
    Don't spend ages on personal phone calls, as other people will find it annoying!
    Don't get into a fight at the Christmas party...(not me I hasten to add)
  • Good luck on Monday morning, if you take some of the advice on here you'll be back home revising your CV by Monday afternoon:-)
  • LenGlover said:

    Try not to bone the secretary in your first week.

    Don't get involved romantically with anyone you work with in any way whatsoever.
    Or, to put it more succinctly, don't poke the payroll
    Don't dip your pen in the company ink.
  • edited September 2015
    Don't do what I did on my first day, I tried to have sex with the bacon slicer and I ended up marrying her.
  • Fiiish said:

    Don't do what I did on my first day, I tried to have sex with the bacon slicer and I ended up marrying her.

    eh?
  • Make sure you don't let your receipts end up as a claim for expenses that I pay through my taxes. Make your own sarnies and ride a bike to work and refuse to attend any event with outside catering. Anyway shouldn't you be doing this as an unpaid intern?
  • se9addick said:

    Be early, but not ridiculously so - say 10/15 mins.


    Really hate being late for anything, although however hard I try I never can seem to be late for something...

    Means that if there is a rare occasion when your going to be late, they'll just ignore it, and like with me, it became a dept joke when I was late by 15mins once and was so annoyed about it
    I read this with the thought of premature ejaculation.
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  • Good luck fella... As Henry said right at the start take every development chance going. Especially as its a one year contract. Brown nose the bosses. You may need their help eventually
  • good luck 'kid' .. and knock 'em dead ((:>)
  • When I started my first job the receptionist was the secretary she was fit
  • se9addick said:

    Be early, but not ridiculously so - say 10/15 mins.


    Really hate being late for anything, although however hard I try I never can seem to be late for something...

    Means that if there is a rare occasion when your going to be late, they'll just ignore it, and like with me, it became a dept joke when I was late by 15mins once and was so annoyed about it
    I read this with the thought of premature ejaculation.
    Whatever turns you on.
  • On the very first day it is very important to show them you are not going to take their shit so when the boss is getting water at the cooler wait for him to bend over and kick him as hard as you can in the arse make sure the office sees you do it they will have the up most respect for you after. Also it would not hurt to drink a couple of fizzy drinks and rip off one of the loudest tearass farts you can muster they will bow down to you from then on out. As a backup to not being gassy then just wait for them to start eating lunch and just start picking your nose. Good luck and may the job last a lifetime for you, am confident it will.
  • edited September 2015
    McBobbin said:

    Good luck fella... As Henry said right at the start take every development chance going. Especially as its a one year contract. Brown nose the bosses. You may need their help eventually

    So you suck off your boss in order to improve your career?
    You must have no self esteem.
    Would you approve of your child doing this?
  • If 'Orange is the New Black' has taught us anything, it's that you shouldn't complain on your first day, especially when you don't know what authority people have.

    Otherwise you end up being served a used-tampon-sandwich for lunch.
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