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First day of work advice

13

Comments

  • cafcdave123
    cafcdave123 Posts: 11,491
    First day - brush your willy onto the bosses hand whilst walking past, make sure others see it and also hear you comment on it.

    The rest of your employment there - do what ever the fuck you like.
  • Brendan_O_Connell
    Brendan_O_Connell Posts: 8,938
    How did you get on Canters mate?
  • cantersaddick
    cantersaddick Posts: 16,929
    Brendan_O_Connell said:

    How did you get on Canters mate?

    Monday is my first day I will let you all know! :)
  • Brendan_O_Connell
    Brendan_O_Connell Posts: 8,938
    cantersaddick said:

    Brendan_O_Connell said:

    How did you get on Canters mate?

    Monday is my first day I will let you all know! :)
    Good luck pal.
  • cantersaddick
    cantersaddick Posts: 16,929
    Brendan_O_Connell said:

    cantersaddick said:

    Brendan_O_Connell said:

    How did you get on Canters mate?

    Monday is my first day I will let you all know! :)
    Good luck pal.
    Cheers! :)
  • Covered End
    Covered End Posts: 52,008
    Good luck canters.
  • MartTheTaxi
    MartTheTaxi Posts: 173
    cantersaddick said:

    So I saw all the great advice dished out on the university advice thread and I wonder what words of wisdom Charlton life would have for me.

    On monday I'm starting a years placement at a government department working as an economic analyst.

    This is my first "real" job so I'm a little nervous... anyone do a similar sort of thing and have any tips or just any new job/first day at work tips!

    Thanks!

    Dont be late look smart and dont be lazy be good starting points
  • Granpa
    Granpa Posts: 2,995
    Take your Mum with you, and ignore this lot.
  • Granpa
    Granpa Posts: 2,995

    And don't tell them you are Charlton. Then, when you bunk off to get to an away game they will just think you are ill.

    Or insane.
  • ShootersHillGuru
    ShootersHillGuru Posts: 50,621
    Never think it's too early to put a tiny bit extra into your pension. You will seriously regret not doing a bit more eventually.
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  • SOTF
    SOTF Posts: 1,149
    Under promise, over deliver.

    That one phrase has meant I've managed to get away with reading Charlton Life all day whilst still looking good.
  • Fumbluff
    Fumbluff Posts: 10,127
    Brush your teeth
  • happyvalley
    happyvalley Posts: 8,996
    Good luck canters. Don't work too hard to start with or they will expect you to keep it up throughout your time there.
  • killerandflash
    killerandflash Posts: 69,849
    Good luck

    Don't be arrogant, there will be people there who've been doing their job for 10/20 years, and won't appreciate some kid after 2 days questioning what they do (even if you think they're useless and doing everything wrong)
    Ask questions, and listen to the replies. Try and look enthusiastic, even if you have the "Charlton 4-0 and down to 10 men" feeling.
    Generally laugh at office humour rather than trying to be the life and soul of the party, but the odd witty contribution will be good as well, to show people you're not completely boring
    Don't spend ages on personal phone calls, as other people will find it annoying!
    Don't get into a fight at the Christmas party...(not me I hasten to add)
  • Big William
    Big William Posts: 3,841
    Good luck on Monday morning, if you take some of the advice on here you'll be back home revising your CV by Monday afternoon:-)
  • Vinnie V.
    Vinnie V. Posts: 1,509
    LenGlover said:

    AddicksAddict said:

    DaveMehmet said:

    Try not to bone the secretary in your first week.

    Don't get involved romantically with anyone you work with in any way whatsoever.
    Or, to put it more succinctly, don't poke the payroll
    Don't dip your pen in the company ink.
  • Fiiish
    Fiiish Posts: 7,998
    edited September 2015
    Don't do what I did on my first day, I tried to have sex with the bacon slicer and I ended up marrying her.
  • Baldybonce
    Baldybonce Posts: 9,648
    Fiiish said:

    Don't do what I did on my first day, I tried to have sex with the bacon slicer and I ended up marrying her.

    eh?
  • theeenorth
    theeenorth Posts: 2,278
    Make sure you don't let your receipts end up as a claim for expenses that I pay through my taxes. Make your own sarnies and ride a bike to work and refuse to attend any event with outside catering. Anyway shouldn't you be doing this as an unpaid intern?
  • Robbo on the wing
    Robbo on the wing Posts: 4,135
    ForeverAddickted said:

    se9addick said:

    Be early, but not ridiculously so - say 10/15 mins.


    Really hate being late for anything, although however hard I try I never can seem to be late for something...

    Means that if there is a rare occasion when your going to be late, they'll just ignore it, and like with me, it became a dept joke when I was late by 15mins once and was so annoyed about it
    I read this with the thought of premature ejaculation.
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  • McBobbin
    McBobbin Posts: 12,051
    Good luck fella... As Henry said right at the start take every development chance going. Especially as its a one year contract. Brown nose the bosses. You may need their help eventually
  • Lincsaddick
    Lincsaddick Posts: 32,355
    good luck 'kid' .. and knock 'em dead ((:>)
  • floydroadfaithfull
    floydroadfaithfull Posts: 4,778
    When I started my first job the receptionist was the secretary she was fit
  • AddicksAddict
    AddicksAddict Posts: 15,791
    cantersaddick said:

    Another question I have a cousins wedding at the beginning of November which I would like a few days off for.. when/how do I bring this up and to who?

    I don't wanna leave it to late that it's not possible but I don't think it's a great idea to walk in the door saying can I book holiday...

    Bring it up as quickly as possible; just be sensible about it and you shouldn't have a problem.

    PS. Best to say it's a "cousin's wedding" , not a "cousins wedding". You don't want them thinking you're from an inbred family.
  • AddicksAddict
    AddicksAddict Posts: 15,791
    Robbo on the wing said:

    ForeverAddickted said:

    se9addick said:

    Be early, but not ridiculously so - say 10/15 mins.


    Really hate being late for anything, although however hard I try I never can seem to be late for something...

    Means that if there is a rare occasion when your going to be late, they'll just ignore it, and like with me, it became a dept joke when I was late by 15mins once and was so annoyed about it
    I read this with the thought of premature ejaculation.
    Whatever turns you on.
  • guinnessaddick
    guinnessaddick Posts: 28,633
    If you're not sure, don't give a corner.
  • Indianaaddick
    Indianaaddick Posts: 2,965
    On the very first day it is very important to show them you are not going to take their shit so when the boss is getting water at the cooler wait for him to bend over and kick him as hard as you can in the arse make sure the office sees you do it they will have the up most respect for you after. Also it would not hurt to drink a couple of fizzy drinks and rip off one of the loudest tearass farts you can muster they will bow down to you from then on out. As a backup to not being gassy then just wait for them to start eating lunch and just start picking your nose. Good luck and may the job last a lifetime for you, am confident it will.
  • Robbo on the wing
    Robbo on the wing Posts: 4,135
    edited September 2015
    McBobbin said:

    Good luck fella... As Henry said right at the start take every development chance going. Especially as its a one year contract. Brown nose the bosses. You may need their help eventually

    So you suck off your boss in order to improve your career?
    You must have no self esteem.
    Would you approve of your child doing this?
  • Powell Is Pleasant
    Powell Is Pleasant Posts: 1,443
    If 'Orange is the New Black' has taught us anything, it's that you shouldn't complain on your first day, especially when you don't know what authority people have.

    Otherwise you end up being served a used-tampon-sandwich for lunch.
  • aliwibble
    aliwibble Posts: 26,291
    Be nice to the support staff - receptionists, switchboard, IT and even the security guards. They've got a job to be doing just like you, and can make your life much easier or much harder depending on how willing they are to put themselves out for you.

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