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Sofa Alternative

In the April Fans Forum minutes, Katrien has said that as part of their learning from mistakes and planning for next season they're working with Target 20K to investigate sofa alternatives.

I thought it would be useful for the SMT if we could have a brainstorm here for some alternatives in the spirit of Pinocchio's statement that "communications between the club and supporters have not broken down"

I'll get the ball rolling -

Stocks - each week a different member of the SMT watch the game from the stocks, while the North Stand throw club-provided rotten tomatoes at them. This serves multiple purposes, as well as improving the matchday experience for the customers it also keeps the objects thrown from the stands away from the pitch and focused on Katrien's smirking mug.

Jacuzzi - open to females only, Dickie Murray chooses two ladies each week from the pie cam to sit either side of him in the hot tub while he kicks back with his aviators on, arms around them gangster style.

Any more?
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Comments

  • iaitch
    iaitch Posts: 10,217
    Guillotine?
  • Fiiiiiish
    Fiiiiiish Posts: 1,671
    How about a pitch side stool?

    The stool football happening on the pitch would make the seat bearer really feel part of the action.
  • Nug
    Nug Posts: 4,623
    How about a kiss-cam in the Directors Box? Anyone who wins can kiss Katriens arse, oh wait most of them are doing that now.
  • I've got a great idea for a Sofa Alternative... Everyone buys a ticket for a seat in the stands and thats where they sit!!
  • Nug
    Nug Posts: 4,623

    I've got a great idea for a Sofa Alternative... Everyone buys a ticket for a seat in the stands and thats where they sit!!

    Serious suggestion only please
  • image

    Free half time psychoanalysis, "So tell me, why do you think you still come to The Valley even though it gives you no pleasure..?"
  • SheffieldRed
    SheffieldRed Posts: 3,772

    Miniature train - Railway loving Charlton customers can indulge twin passions simultaneously, watching the game from a replica of Stephenson's Rocket
  • SheffieldRed
    SheffieldRed Posts: 3,772

    Political hot potato - fans discuss middle eastern countries whilst sat in a giant jacket potato

  • Nug said:

    I've got a great idea for a Sofa Alternative... Everyone buys a ticket for a seat in the stands and thats where they sit!!

    Serious suggestion only please
    Sorry get too carried away sometimes with my silly ideas :)
  • image

    Free half time psychoanalysis, "So tell me, why do you think you still come to The Valley even though it gives you no pleasure..?"

    Excellent idea... Dont even need one of those chairs to lay out as can just lay across the whole of my empty row.
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  • Redrobo
    Redrobo Posts: 11,330
    A bank of commodes?
  • cafcfan
    cafcfan Posts: 11,198
    Taking a leaf out of the medieval castle building manual. I'm going for replacing the seats in the central block of the Upper West with garderobes that dump straight into the directors' box.

    Dover for the continent, Upper West stand for the incontinent.
  • Sam lloyd
    Sam lloyd Posts: 1,083
    Fiiiiiish said:

    How about a pitch side stool?

    The stool football happening on the pitch would make the seat bearer really feel part of the action.

    A very polite way of saying a pitch side sh*t Fiiiiish
  • Macronate
    Macronate Posts: 12,890
    edited April 2016
    we should invite back individually former players, managers and ex-employees on a week-by-week basis to undertake a raft of different activities whilst standing/sitting/crouching in that corner.

    former players in full kits should be made to do keepie uppies as the real game is going on. any former player who does over 10 is rewarded with a contract with a network club. any player doing keepie uppies will however need to complete the task and stay injury free otherwise the offer of a contract is withdrawn.

    former managers will be armed with a microphone and whilst the game is going on will be offfering coaching tips (for the whole stadium to hear) as play develops. Peeters (for example) will be permitted to speak up if a player messes up but has to honest with his assessement i.e. that was a fucking awful cross by Fox or, in the case of an easy chance missed will be allowed to say words to the effect-"my nan could have scored that" etc

    Luzon has to participate in a crouched position, only momentarily standing up to dance to Sweet Dreams which could be played over the tannoy at any given moment.

    Fraeye will be the expert on formations and any goals which may involve a laundry basket in the build-up.

    Riga can model next year's Next suit collection whilst commentating.

    ex-employees will have free reign to speak out (on a microphone) about the regime, pre-match, at half time and once we've lost the game. no holds barred here. during their week, a circular table will be set up so frank discussions can be held between up to 6 ex-employess (all miked up). crowd particpation is encouraged. (Louis Mend will not be invited to this).
  • c4fcdenmark
    c4fcdenmark Posts: 2,041
    Three of these in the boardroom?
  • Sybian machine?
  • c4fcdenmark
    c4fcdenmark Posts: 2,041
    Very funny!
  • Weegie Addick
    Weegie Addick Posts: 16,517
    @LouisMend is running a poll on Twitter - currently "an actual toilet" is just edging out an electric chair...
  • RedChaser
    RedChaser Posts: 19,885
    image
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  • A fence, for those who can't decide whether they just want to attend and watch football or not put another penny into RD's pocket.
  • sralan
    sralan Posts: 2,031
    Electric chair.
  • Anna_Kissed
    Anna_Kissed Posts: 3,302
    A pile of old tyres, broken fridges and perished carpet underlay.
  • shirty5
    shirty5 Posts: 19,215
    Stocks?
  • BartleyPark
    BartleyPark Posts: 430
    Pedal powered dildo machine
  • Boysie
    Boysie Posts: 701
    A bed, maybe ?
  • Sam lloyd
    Sam lloyd Posts: 1,083
    Highchairs for all of Roland's children !
  • Fumbluff
    Fumbluff Posts: 10,122
    A water butt and a composter....for all the veggies :wink:
  • cantersaddick
    cantersaddick Posts: 16,907
    I think what I posted on the ideas for target 20k thread would work.

    If they were to get KM to go on the pitch at half time and publicly 'stick her fucking sofa up her arse' (sideways optional) I think we would get 20000 in the ground!

    We could adapt this and use a different item of household furniture each week!
  • Dave2l
    Dave2l Posts: 8,863
    A sauna, a panic room, a sofa chair type thing, erm I don't know, appropriate alternatives to a sofa, there are not that many.

    How about this... why does it need a replacement/alternative. It was fine the way it was. I loved that little spot of nothing.