1800 days ago, England was a different country to the one it is today.
You could say ding dong to a young woman without being visited by the police. Leave your front door unlocked and someone would come in and do the washing up. Brexit was the name of the bathroom escape route when your lady friend's husband came home early from work. Policemen were still seen on foot with a 12 inch trucheon. Old folk were helped across the road whether they wanted to cross or not. You would get up on a bus to give a pregnant woman a seat before realising she had just eaten all the pies. You could buy a round and still have change of a £50 note. Men would wear woman's clothes because it was a hobby not some journey to a new self. You got more than 14 chips at the valley. Donald Trump was just a loud mouthed businessman. Fake news was just Alan Curbishley 16/1. Soapbox Sam's box didn't have a kink in it.
Oh fuck 1801 days of counting. Keep up the good work 3blokes you are the Rachel Riley of Charlton Life.
You want the country in the country out In out in out You brexit all about You don’t do the votey votey Cos they’ll turn it down And that’s how we fuck about.
Right, that’s quite enough of that. Anyway, he’s still here. Oh fuck...
You do the count each day Till he’s gone away Bins out Bins out Every bleeding week It slowly does your head in Till you have to shout WHY DONT YOU JUST FUCK OFF!!
(That’s the last one of Hokey Cokey week, I promise )
The B.O : Oh him, he’s already gone, he left ages ago!
Interviewer : ( looking round) Who did?
The B.O : That mixed up Scottish madman!
Interviewer : What??
The B.O : Yes, him! But look! Still no players sold during this interview! Remember that! Not one!
Interviewer: Seriously...what???
The B.O : ( getting irritated) Look stop keep going on about him, you fucking idiot!!
Interviewer : What do you mean?
The B.O : Yes I’m warning you, leave it, motherfucker!!
Interviewer: But I don’t know what’s upsetting you!
The B.O : He’s not! You fucking are!! AARRGHHHHH!!
( And with that, The B.O launches himself at the interviewer, who quickly tries to bring the interview to a conclusion)
Interviewer: Right, well, LET GO OF MY NECK...thanks for coming in... any final Christmas message for the fans?
The B.O : YES I WISH THEY’D ALL PISS OFF!
Interviewer: Don’t you mean you wish them all peace?
The B.O: NO I FUCKING DONT!! ARRGHHH!
Well, let’s leave the B.O to enjoy his festive strangulation attempts, let us turn instead to our own celebrations, have a cool Yule everyone, a happy crimbo, seasonal merriment, and try not to dwell on the fact he’s still here. Oh festive fuck...
Comments
He’s still here.
Oh recycled fuck.
He’s still here.
Oh fuck...
He’s still here.
Oh Christmas shopping fuck...
You could say ding dong to a young woman without being visited by the police.
Leave your front door unlocked and someone would come in and do the washing up.
Brexit was the name of the bathroom escape route when your lady friend's husband came home early from work.
Policemen were still seen on foot with a 12 inch trucheon.
Old folk were helped across the road whether they wanted to cross or not.
You would get up on a bus to give a pregnant woman a seat before realising she had just eaten all the pies.
You could buy a round and still have change of a £50 note.
Men would wear woman's clothes because it was a hobby not some journey to a new self.
You got more than 14 chips at the valley.
Donald Trump was just a loud mouthed businessman.
Fake news was just Alan Curbishley 16/1.
Soapbox Sam's box didn't have a kink in it.
Oh fuck 1801 days of counting.
Keep up the good work 3blokes you are the Rachel Riley of Charlton Life.
Ding Dong.
He’s still here.
Oh just fuck off fuck..
But first a song -
You want the country in
the country out
In out
in out
You brexit all about
You don’t do the votey votey
Cos they’ll turn it down
And that’s how we fuck about.
Right, that’s quite enough of that.
Anyway, he’s still here.
Oh fuck...
Great win last night
He’s still here.
Oh fuck...
You vote your leader in
Your leader out
In out
In out
What’s It all about?
It’s the Tory party
And it’s split in two
on the Brexiting roundabout
Anyway, he’s still here
Oh fuck..
Oh fuck...
And now a song
You put the backstop in
The backstop out
In out
In out
You move it all about
But you are fooling no one
It won’t pass the vote
Oh what a fuckabout
But anyway, he’s still here.
Oh fuck...
Still takes your mind off that Belgian buffoon DUTCHE.... OOAAAHH NO!!!!!!
We want Rexit.
How about a song?
You do the count each day
Till he’s gone away
Bins out
Bins out
Every bleeding week
It slowly does your head in
Till you have to shout
WHY DONT YOU JUST FUCK OFF!!
(That’s the last one of Hokey Cokey week, I promise
He’s still here.
Oh fuck...
Doing all right on the pitch.
He’s still here.
Oh fuck ...
He’s still here.
Oh jingle fuck....
He’s still here.
Oh cracker fuck...
There will be no overtures made to him on this thread.
He’s still here.
Oh bang fuck...
The "damnation" bit fits, at least!!
And his purchase of CAFC seems to have turned into a bit of a Faustian pact with the devil...
Oh, "All I Want For Christmas Is...." fuck!
How many more sleeps?
He’s still here.
Oh fuck...
This morning we are lucky enough to have a recording of a recent interview with the B.O. discussing the way forward for us all.
Interviewer : Welcome to Chatshite.
The B.O. : I won’t be selling any players during this interview.
Interviewer: I’m sorry?
The B.O : ( with a gracious smile) That’s quite all right, your apology is accepted.
(The interviewer looks rather confused)
Interviewer : Er....ok, well—
The B.O ( smiling benignly) : Have you noticed?
Interviewer: What?
The B.O. : Have you noticed? The interview’s going on full pelt? And look! I’ve still not sold a single player! Not one!
(The interviewer looks baffled)
Interviewer : I’m sorry, I’m not quite sure what’s going —
The B.O : Oh him, he’s already gone, he left ages ago!
Interviewer : ( looking round) Who did?
The B.O : That mixed up Scottish madman!
Interviewer : What??
The B.O : Yes, him! But look! Still no players sold during this interview! Remember that! Not one!
Interviewer: Seriously...what???
The B.O : ( getting irritated) Look stop keep going on about him, you fucking idiot!!
Interviewer : What do you mean?
The B.O : Yes I’m warning you, leave it, motherfucker!!
Interviewer: But I don’t know what’s upsetting you!
The B.O : He’s not! You fucking are!! AARRGHHHHH!!
( And with that, The B.O launches himself at the interviewer, who quickly tries to bring the interview to a conclusion)
Interviewer: Right, well, LET GO OF MY NECK...thanks for coming in... any final Christmas message for the fans?
The B.O : YES I WISH THEY’D ALL PISS OFF!
Interviewer: Don’t you mean you wish them all peace?
The B.O: NO I FUCKING DONT!! ARRGHHH!
Well, let’s leave the B.O to enjoy his festive strangulation attempts, let us turn instead to our own celebrations, have a cool Yule everyone, a happy crimbo, seasonal merriment, and try not to dwell on the fact he’s still here.
Oh festive fuck...
We wish you a Merry Christmas
We wish you a Merry Christmas
Now FUCK OFF ROLAND!
Ahhh christmas!
Bedecked with Boos and Ribaldry
And I pray you our Master be gloomy
And fuck thee off in January!
You must keep observing in case he disappears before the very sad 5th anniversary on January 3rd.
Oh tinsel fuck.
Day 1816.
He’s still here. Of course he is.
Oh fuck ...
If Roland were a Christmas Tree.
Christmas Dayand he’s still here.
Oh present day turkey fuck...
He’s still here.
Oh bubble and squeak fuck...