As a male it's easy to take the attitude 'lucky boy' But it's not lucky at all. The whole issue is damaging on many levels. She was in a position of trust. Unfortunately she is now a sexual abuser/criminal.
Very true, poor kid will be scarred by it. A bit like you always remember the kid who shit himself at school (Robert Richards, Days Lane Infants 1974), he'll always be known as the kid who shagged the teacher.
She's wrong no doubt, but at 13 I'd have given my right arm for a go on a woman like that. Surely nearly every lads fantasy. She is wrong for doing it though just to reiterate.
As a parent she should be locked up, but my 15 self would have been very happy. One of my mates at school was seeing one of our very fit teachers, we loved it as she would take us to the pub at lunchtimes.
Obviously looking back it was wrong but growing up it was every boys wet dream
As a parent she should be locked up, but my 15 self would have been very happy. One of my mates at school was seeing one of our very fit teachers, we loved it as she would take us to the pub at lunchtimes.
Obviously looking back it was wrong but growing up it was every boys wet dream
I would t have had a clue what was really going on at 13. You have to ask why she was sleeping with a 13 year old, it all looks very odd.
Regardless, can't abuse a position of trust and whether he enjoyed it or not if she was sleeping with him that's sexual abuse in a position of trust. Go to jail.
I've got a son and a daughter at school. Without giving this too much thought I'd have a far more violent reaction if it had happened to my daughter than my boy. Rightly or wrongly I believe most men would.
Serious question, what if the teacher was male?
What I meant was that there is a double standard between a female teacher and a male pupil and a male teacher and a female pupil. To be honest I only considered those two scenarios which was pretty naive looking at it again. Anyway this is every parents nightmare urrrgh.
I'm going to open now, I'm a big boy and I can take it, and will probably explain why I so vehemently jump on these topics. At the age of 14/15 back in the early 80s (In the words of Micky Flanagan, I was a looker, still am) I was seduced/groomed/bedded by a married woman in her late 20s early 30s. Husband was away in the army. Of course, I did have every teenage boys dream come true. When it was discovered, the shit storm it caused in my family was unreal. It didn't work out too well for her once my traveller side of the family got involved and she moved away sharpish, the law didn't get called and were not involved, different times, different attitudes. It's only 30+ years later that I realised how it had an affect on me in my past and current relationships, hard nosed cold bastard sometimes, so it wasn't just me who suffered. Anger issues, moodiness etc, I have been told can all be traced back to that period and how it formed my attitudes towards women and relationships. As the years role on that mellowed, so if anybody thinks it's a jape, good luck son, fill your boots etc, take a think, and whilst your at it, find a mirror and take a long hard look in it. This nearly 50, convicted ex con football hooligan has another version.
DA9. Respect your previous views on here. I'm prepared to be flagged but I suspect your social dynamic, particuarly at this early age was not caused by a randy housewife. At 15, even younger I knew right from wrong in a legal sense. I was lucky not to have a criminal record at this age. How many millions of kids have popped their cherries at your age? Were they only traumatised because it was a fit older woman? If you are a troubled man, it's not down to a cougar.
Sorry having real trouble sending posts from where I am. Got halfway through a comment and it went, without the rest of what I had said. Anyway, as a former teacher, it doesn't matter how attractive the teacher is, it is the teacher taking advantage in a teacher/pupil relationship that becomes physical. The position of trust afforded you in that role is not flexible on gender or looks, as it is about keeping children safe. That's it basically.
In this country a 21 year old babysitter was given community service for sleeping with her 11 year old charge, the "victim's" Dad gave evidence on her behalf saying his son was well up for it. If the sex of the participants had been reversed the sentence would definitely have been custodial.
DA9. Respect your previous views on here. I'm prepared to be flagged but I suspect your social dynamic, particuarly at this early age was not caused by a randy housewife. At 15, even younger I knew right from wrong in a legal sense. I was lucky not to have a criminal record at this age. How many millions of kids have popped their cherries at your age? Were they only traumatised because it was a fit older woman? If you are a troubled man, it's not down to a cougar.
Not going to flag you, your entitled to your opinion. However, with all respect, I trust the opinion of the psychiatrists and relationship counsellors that I dealt with over the years rather than yours or anyone else (that includes family)
I'm going to open now, I'm a big boy and I can take it, and will probably explain why I so vehemently jump on these topics. At the age of 14/15 back in the early 80s (In the words of Micky Flanagan, I was a looker, still am) I was seduced/groomed/bedded by a married woman in her late 20s early 30s. Husband was away in the army. Of course, I did have every teenage boys dream come true. When it was discovered, the shit storm it caused in my family was unreal. It didn't work out too well for her once my traveller side of the family got involved and she moved away sharpish, the law didn't get called and were not involved, different times, different attitudes. It's only 30+ years later that I realised how it had an affect on me in my past and current relationships, hard nosed cold bastard sometimes, so it wasn't just me who suffered. Anger issues, moodiness etc, I have been told can all be traced back to that period and how it formed my attitudes towards women and relationships. As the years role on that mellowed, so if anybody thinks it's a jape, good luck son, fill your boots etc, take a think, and whilst your at it, find a mirror and take a long hard look in it. This nearly 50, convicted ex con football hooligan has another version.
Agree with all of that apart from one thing... You've never been a looker E!
“It comes out here when there is a breach of trust and grooming, insinuation into the life of the student and family. That damage may not have come out yet, but it will. It may be a slow, ticking bomb, but it ticks.”
DA9. Respect your previous views on here. I'm prepared to be flagged but I suspect your social dynamic, particuarly at this early age was not caused by a randy housewife. At 15, even younger I knew right from wrong in a legal sense. I was lucky not to have a criminal record at this age. How many millions of kids have popped their cherries at your age? Were they only traumatised because it was a fit older woman? If you are a troubled man, it's not down to a cougar.
I'm not flagging you, Harvey.......... but replace schoolteacher with mother/father/uncle/aunt/next door neighbour etc. He (not Da9) was a child and she was in a position where she was supposed to protect the children. My sisters are shot to pieces because of what happened to them in their teens, I haven't seen them for years. The reason, I have the same surname as the person they hold responsible for fucking their heads up when he was in a position of trust.
I'm going to open now, I'm a big boy and I can take it, and will probably explain why I so vehemently jump on these topics. At the age of 14/15 back in the early 80s (In the words of Micky Flanagan, I was a looker, still am) I was seduced/groomed/bedded by a married woman in her late 20s early 30s. Husband was away in the army. Of course, I did have every teenage boys dream come true. When it was discovered, the shit storm it caused in my family was unreal. It didn't work out too well for her once my traveller side of the family got involved and she moved away sharpish, the law didn't get called and were not involved, different times, different attitudes. It's only 30+ years later that I realised how it had an affect on me in my past and current relationships, hard nosed cold bastard sometimes, so it wasn't just me who suffered. Anger issues, moodiness etc, I have been told can all be traced back to that period and how it formed my attitudes towards women and relationships. As the years role on that mellowed, so if anybody thinks it's a jape, good luck son, fill your boots etc, take a think, and whilst your at it, find a mirror and take a long hard look in it. This nearly 50, convicted ex con football hooligan has another version.
Agree with all of that apart from one thing... You've never been a looker E!
That's not what the boys on A wing said, Macca didn't get a look in :-)
DA9. Respect your previous views on here. I'm prepared to be flagged but I suspect your social dynamic, particuarly at this early age was not caused by a randy housewife. At 15, even younger I knew right from wrong in a legal sense. I was lucky not to have a criminal record at this age. How many millions of kids have popped their cherries at your age? Were they only traumatised because it was a fit older woman? If you are a troubled man, it's not down to a cougar.
I'm not flagging you, Harvey.......... but replace schoolteacher with mother/father/uncle/aunt/next door neighbour etc. He (not Da9) was a child and she was in a position where she was supposed to protect the children. My sisters are shot to pieces because of what happened to them in their teens, I haven't seen them for years. The reason, I have the same surname as the person they hold responsible for fucking their heads up when he was in a position of trust.
Please see my statement "don't condone her actions" not quoted in later replies. My point is that males having consensual sex before the age of consent is widespread. I can't see that the age of the woman implies some extra psychogical element. Position of Trust is a no no and I don't think anyone disputes this or that the yank is a wrong-un. Don't mix my comments on her with DA9' issues.
In all seriousness the woman should be locked up for a very long time. At his age he will be forming his opinions on life and relationships. This bomb will tick. One day he will likely have a relationship, maybe get married, probably have a child and he will suddenly become very aware of what was lost when a child abuser abused him. The boy is 14 years old and has an aborted child.
I'm nearly 30, have 1 child, and my partner has miscarried twice. That cuts me up. That child doesn't deserve to be put in that situation.
As a parent she should be locked up, but my 15 self would have been very happy. One of my mates at school was seeing one of our very fit teachers, we loved it as she would take us to the pub at lunchtimes.
Obviously looking back it was wrong but growing up it was every boys wet dream
At 15 maybe but certainly not 13.
The law says this boy can't have sex yet God gave him sperm to have babies. I have to say though if my 15 year old son had knocked up a women her age I would expect the law to intervene. Could be a difficult situation though if both wanted to have the child.
DA9. Respect your previous views on here. I'm prepared to be flagged but I suspect your social dynamic, particuarly at this early age was not caused by a randy housewife. At 15, even younger I knew right from wrong in a legal sense. I was lucky not to have a criminal record at this age. How many millions of kids have popped their cherries at your age? Were they only traumatised because it was a fit older woman? If you are a troubled man, it's not down to a cougar.
I'm not flagging you, Harvey.......... but replace schoolteacher with mother/father/uncle/aunt/next door neighbour etc. He (not Da9) was a child and she was in a position where she was supposed to protect the children. My sisters are shot to pieces because of what happened to them in their teens, I haven't seen them for years. The reason, I have the same surname as the person they hold responsible for fucking their heads up when he was in a position of trust.
Please see my statement "don't condone her actions" not quoted in later replies. My point is that males having consensual sex before the age of consent is widespread. I can't see that the age of the woman implies some extra psychogical element. Position of Trust is a no no and I don't think anyone disputes this or that the yank is a wrong-un. Don't mix my comments on her with DA9' issues.
What an ignorant post.
Is there any point at which you could see the age of the woman, seducing a child, may cause the child psychological issues ? What if she was aged 50 for example ?
Okay, I was sort of in the 'bad woman but wish it had happened to me' sort of camp until DA9 came along to make me think. The fact is the law says under age sex, and the lad is underage - end of. Had it been a girl, there would have been none of the macho stuff anywhere on here, a girl would have been seen as a vulnerable victim at 13, and anyone having sex with them would have been rightl put in the Gary Glitter/Jimmy Saville bracket. Now we have a boy who has been abused. The woman is a stunner but I can't see the law making exceptions on the basis of looks. Deep down, I read what DA9 has written, and imagine myself then and there - it's a struggle, I could'nt pull girls in my class at that age, let alone become attractive to the teachers. So is there psychological damage? DA9 says yes, and he knows. They are formative years, do you go on from that assuming sex is something you just take from anyone? If the teacher got sentenced to prison, there may be a part of the learning curve here that breaking the law doesn't pay - or his mates may bully him for shagging someone who then goes to jail as a result..or...or...lots of variables. In the end, a lot of people have put very concisely what I now reckon is the result. The boy is a victim, the teacher is an abuser, and everything else is by the way.
By definition and imho it is abuse but of course life and circumstance get in the way and attempt to blur lines that should never be crossed.
From a teachers perspective i must say that the school in question should also be investigated. I have safeguarding procedures coming out my earholes in the place i am at, surely the situation should of been spotted and reported at a far earlier point?
I thought about it a bit more this morning. My nephew is 13 and the thought of him with her is just wrong, he's so childlike. Its totally bizarre behaviour from a woman.
Wrongun. But the parents should be charged too, what with I dont know but something.
Comments
Obviously looking back it was wrong but growing up it was every boys wet dream
Regardless, can't abuse a position of trust and whether he enjoyed it or not if she was sleeping with him that's sexual abuse in a position of trust. Go to jail.
At the age of 14/15 back in the early 80s (In the words of Micky Flanagan, I was a looker, still am) I was seduced/groomed/bedded by a married woman in her late 20s early 30s. Husband was away in the army. Of course, I did have every teenage boys dream come true. When it was discovered, the shit storm it caused in my family was unreal. It didn't work out too well for her once my traveller side of the family got involved and she moved away sharpish, the law didn't get called and were not involved, different times, different attitudes.
It's only 30+ years later that I realised how it had an affect on me in my past and current relationships, hard nosed cold bastard sometimes, so it wasn't just me who suffered. Anger issues, moodiness etc, I have been told can all be traced back to that period and how it formed my attitudes towards women and relationships. As the years role on that mellowed, so if anybody thinks it's a jape, good luck son, fill your boots etc, take a think, and whilst your at it, find a mirror and take a long hard look in it.
This nearly 50, convicted ex con football hooligan has another version.
Got halfway through a comment and it went, without the rest of what I had said.
Anyway, as a former teacher, it doesn't matter how attractive the teacher is, it is the teacher taking advantage in a teacher/pupil relationship that becomes physical. The position of trust afforded you in that role is not flexible on gender or looks, as it is about keeping children safe.
That's it basically.
However, with all respect, I trust the opinion of the psychiatrists and relationship counsellors that I dealt with over the years rather than yours or anyone else (that includes family)
We had a case here in Calgary where a female teacher groomed and seduced a young boy
http://news.nationalpost.com/news/canada/im-yours-forever-two-years-in-prison-for-calgary-teacher-30-caught-having-sex-with-boy-16
Echoing DA9 the sentencing judge said
“It comes out here when there is a breach of trust and grooming, insinuation into the life of the student and family. That damage may not have come out yet, but it will. It may be a slow, ticking bomb, but it ticks.”
In all seriousness the woman should be locked up for a very long time. At his age he will be forming his opinions on life and relationships. This bomb will tick. One day he will likely have a relationship, maybe get married, probably have a child and he will suddenly become very aware of what was lost when a child abuser abused him. The boy is 14 years old and has an aborted child.
I'm nearly 30, have 1 child, and my partner has miscarried twice. That cuts me up. That child doesn't deserve to be put in that situation.
Throw away the key
Is there any point at which you could see the age of the woman, seducing a child, may cause the child psychological issues ? What if she was aged 50 for example ?
Deep down, I read what DA9 has written, and imagine myself then and there - it's a struggle, I could'nt pull girls in my class at that age, let alone become attractive to the teachers. So is there psychological damage? DA9 says yes, and he knows. They are formative years, do you go on from that assuming sex is something you just take from anyone? If the teacher got sentenced to prison, there may be a part of the learning curve here that breaking the law doesn't pay - or his mates may bully him for shagging someone who then goes to jail as a result..or...or...lots of variables.
In the end, a lot of people have put very concisely what I now reckon is the result. The boy is a victim, the teacher is an abuser, and everything else is by the way.
From a teachers perspective i must say that the school in question should also be investigated. I have safeguarding procedures coming out my earholes in the place i am at, surely the situation should of been spotted and reported at a far earlier point?
Looking at her now, I do feel split between 'she's a perverted skank' and 'Shiit still would'
Wrongun. But the parents should be charged too, what with I dont know but something.