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Really stupid Questions!!

2

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  • rikofold said:

    Went to the British Legion years ago,
    mates young nephew asked for half a pint of Snakebite'!

    Maybe I'm not getting it and setting myself up for a whoosh but, doesn't it just have to be half lager and half cider?
    Well there's no room for HALF lager AND HALF cider in a HALF pint glass. Obviously. Duuuhh...


    :wink:
    It isn't half a pint and half a pint it is half the drink and half the drink. So you can have a half of snakebite.
  • MrOneLung said:

    rikofold said:

    Went to the British Legion years ago,
    mates young nephew asked for half a pint of Snakebite'!

    Maybe I'm not getting it and setting myself up for a whoosh but, doesn't it just have to be half lager and half cider?
    Well there's no room for HALF lager AND HALF cider in a HALF pint glass. Obviously. Duuuhh...


    :wink:
    It isn't half a pint and half a pint it is half the drink and half the drink. So you can have a half of snakebite.
    Whoosh
  • Got a phone call just now from some numpty.

    "This Media Release we have published on our website - am I OK to share that with a supplier or is it confidential?"

    FFS.
  • Some stuffed suit ex Etonian twat asked me if I thought the UK should remain part of the EU.
  • BBC Interviewer to Gordon Strachan when he was Southampton manager:

    "Are you disappointed at losing that game Gordon?"

    GS: "no, no, I absolutely delighted, it was just what I wanted!!"

    Strachan was always good at that sort of thing. One of his teams hadn't scored a goal at home all season and a reporter asked him if he'd like his team to score at home before the end of the season. The look Strachan gave him and the withering reply were tremendous!
  • edited October 2016
    When the IRA were planting bombs in London and others Cities in England;
    the stupid question put by so many TV Journalists ?

    "What do you think of people who plant these bombs"

    Other than maybe Kay Burly on Sky, we do seemed to have moved on in the TV media, if not on social media which is just a platform for some to prove they only use a Minute % of their brain.
    ( most of us use 20% of our capacity on a good day !)
  • When you've got a load of stuff at the till and the person goes 'would you like a bag with that'

    No, I'll just juggle it
  • edited October 2016
    MrOneLung said:

    rikofold said:

    Went to the British Legion years ago,
    mates young nephew asked for half a pint of Snakebite'!

    Maybe I'm not getting it and setting myself up for a whoosh but, doesn't it just have to be half lager and half cider?
    Well there's no room for HALF lager AND HALF cider in a HALF pint glass. Obviously. Duuuhh...


    :wink:
    It isn't half a pint and half a pint it is half the drink and half the drink. So you can have a half of snakebite.
    Ever tried asking for a quarter of a pint in a pub. Not really the done thing.
    Surely the whole point of a snakebite is to get you blotto as quickly as possible, I think of any other reason to drink such a concoction.

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  • MrOneLung said:

    rikofold said:

    Went to the British Legion years ago,
    mates young nephew asked for half a pint of Snakebite'!

    Maybe I'm not getting it and setting myself up for a whoosh but, doesn't it just have to be half lager and half cider?
    Well there's no room for HALF lager AND HALF cider in a HALF pint glass. Obviously. Duuuhh...


    :wink:
    It isn't half a pint and half a pint it is half the drink and half the drink. So you can have a half of snakebite.
    Ever tried asking for a quarter of a pint in a pub. Not really the done thing.
    Surely the whole point of a snakebite is to get you blotto as quickly as possible, I think of any other reason to drink such a concoction.

    he was drinking half's as he was driving...
  • Not sure where I heard it (may even have been on here) - about a bloke on his bird on holiday somewhere.

    They were looking up at the moon and she asked if it was the same one that they could see when back home.

    this was someone I worked with. she admitted to saying it to her boyfriend when they were on holiday.
  • CEO's wife asked me "how many cigarettes are there in a ten pack". She was dead serious, not the sharpest knife in the draw.
  • Not sure where I heard it (may even have been on here) - about a bloke on his bird on holiday somewhere.

    They were looking up at the moon and she asked if it was the same one that they could see when back home.

    this was someone I worked with. she admitted to saying it to her boyfriend when they were on holiday.
    think @DA9 posted this once.
  • MrOneLung said:

    Not sure where I heard it (may even have been on here) - about a bloke on his bird on holiday somewhere.

    They were looking up at the moon and she asked if it was the same one that they could see when back home.

    this was someone I worked with. she admitted to saying it to her boyfriend when they were on holiday.
    think @DA9 posted this once.
    I did, the ex wife, Corfu 1994
  • Do you want a BJ?
  • Is it in yet?
  • At lunch today, they'll ask, wine list sir, course I do, ok minor, but irritating.
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  • Mother in law - They're nice, where did you get them?
    Wife - Poundland
    Mother in law- How much were they?

    I hate to admit knowing this, but poundland sell many things for over a pound and absolutely nothing for under.

    https://www.theguardian.com/media/2015/mar/04/poundland-must-no-longer-claim-everything-it-sells-costs-1-says-asa
  • edited October 2016

    When the IRA were planting bombs in London and others Cities in England;
    the stupid question put by so many TV Journalists ?

    "What do you think of people who plant these bombs"

    Other than maybe Kay Burly on Sky, we do seemed to have moved on in the TV media, if not on social media which is just a platform for some to prove they only use a Minute % of their brain.
    (most of us use 20% of our capacity on a good day !)

    Almost everyday we use nearly 100% of our brain, in fact that little 3% of our body mass actually uses 20% of our energy.

    You're without knowing constantly engaging almost every little part of your brain's capacity.

    That 20% is a complete myth, the myth used to stand at 10%.
  • Bloke at work reminiscing over football asked "when was France '98?"
  • Does my bum look big in this ?

    Yes, it does, your bum is enormous.

    My wife does seems happy when I reply "no love it doesn't - your bum looks the same in that as it does in everything else you wear".
    "Does this dress make me look fat?"

    "No, Darling, of course not......"






    "Your fat makes you look fat"

    Never said it though!
  • When someone orders a coke...

    "Is Pepsi OK?"
  • An unnamed girl at school (let's call her Louise Parker for illustrative purposes) asked the science teacher.

    "Reinforced concrete is made out of steel and what, Sir?"
  • fattmatt said:

    An unnamed girl at school (let's call her Louise Parker for illustrative purposes) asked the science teacher.

    "Reinforced concrete is made out of steel and what, Sir?"


    I hope he replied air, cement, gravel, sand & water.
  • Reporter to Mike Gatting after he left a bit of his nose bone in Malcom marshalls bouncer.... "where did it hit you?"
  • I work in customer service, don't get me bloody started...
  • Fiiish said:

    When someone orders a coke...

    "Is Pepsi OK?"

    No thanks I'd like an 'enry.
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