A mother's/fathers Day. is it something we need?

Dave2l

I don't want to create a talking point that makes me appear to be a pointlessly boring and bitter person. It's not something I can change and starting a conversation about it on CL will not alter anything anyway.

I'm sure today has been a pleasant afternoon for a lot of people and it's a nice day for mother's to feel special and have some extra family time.

My point being is that I think, overall these things may cause more emotional stress for people then what makes it worth having.

If all is not well in the family it could simply just act as a horrible awkward reminder of a turbulent situation, especially if parents or, even worse, any children have passed away.

Of course, if you are grieving for a lost one, then that is going to be on your mind for every day of the year...it doesn't need a mother's Day to remind you of a suppressed memory.

Having said that...we just really don't NEED it. I'm not entirely sure why it began. Maybe I should do some more research.

On the balance of things, I might be wrong but I think mother's days bring misery to people in a way that out does the any joy part.

Does anyone agree or am I completely wrong?

nth_london_addick

It’s a lovely day to celebrate the women in our lives

If you’ve lost a parent like I have it’s acday of fond relflection

limeygent

Dave2l said:

I don't want to create a talking point that makes me appear to be a pointlessly boring and bitter person. It's not something I can change and starting a conversation about it on CL will not alter anything anyway.

I'm sure today has been a pleasant afternoon for a lot of people and it's a nice day for mother's to feel special and have some extra family time.

My point being is that I think, overall these things may cause more emotional stress for people then what makes it worth having.

If all is not well in the family it could simply just act as a horrible awkward reminder of a turbulent situation, especially if parents or, even worse, any children have passed away.

Of course, if you are grieving for a lost one, then that is going to be on your mind for every day of the year...it doesn't need a mother's Day to remind you of a suppressed memory.

Having said that...we just really don't NEED it. I'm not entirely sure why it began. Maybe I should do some more research.

On the balance of things, I might be wrong but I think mother's days bring misery to people in a way that out does the any joy part.

Does anyone agree or am I completely wrong?

It's a great day for greetings card manufacturers.

Valiantphil

Card Factory 99p

Danny Addick

I agree, hate them both

cfgs

As a father I am not bothered about father's day, luckily it falls very close to my wedding anniversary so is usually completely overlooked anyway. We go all out for mother's day though.

Stig

I guess like a lot of 'days' it means different things to different people. I'm all for celebrating and thanking mums - they deserve it. I do find the blatant commercialism off-putting, though. I saw a card yesterday, 'happy mother's day, nan'. Now, unless you come from some six-toed town (insert name of football rivals here) your nan is not your mum. Such attempts to prize money from the paws of little kids is abhorrent.

agim

I can see where you are coming from on this one Dave but like a lot of things in life its down to personal preference. For me it's a chance to cook a meal, buy some flowers, bottle of wine etc for a woman that's done a hell of a lot for me in my life. Some people aren't so lucky and I get that.
It's like people getting their kids Christened even though they're aren't religious or go to church. I don't get it, but again it happens and personal preference.

johnnybev1987

I agree. My mum is literally the best person in the world and i will always do as much as i can regardless of what day it is.

My mate lost his mum 2 years ago and i cant imagine how he feel, add that with everyone posting photos with their mum and celebrating again has no consideration of those who have lost their. Its not people being selfish, but certianly isn't the sort of thing someone who has lost their mum needs to see.

Everyone seems to flaunt far too much on social media, no wonder there is so much anxiety and mental issues around.

Redskin

johnnybev1987 said:

I agree. My mum is literally the best person in the world and i will always do as much as i can regardless of what day it is.

My mate lost his mum 2 years ago and i cant imagine how he feel, add that with everyone posting photos with their mum and celebrating again has no consideration of those who have lost their. Its not people being selfish, but certianly isn't the sort of thing someone who has lost their mum needs to see.

Everyone seems to flaunt far too much on social media, no wonder there is so much anxiety and mental issues around.

My mother died of Althzeimer's seven years ago, and I'm glad that people still have their mothers around to make a fuss of.

Dazzler21

It's always been horrible since I was 13. Now though (last year and today) I see it as the Wife's day and I get to help our little one celebrate it by showing how important mummy is.

bobmunro

johnnybev1987 said:

I agree. My mum is literally the best person in the world and i will always do as much as i can regardless of what day it is.

My mate lost his mum 2 years ago and i cant imagine how he feel, add that with everyone posting photos with their mum and celebrating again has no consideration of those who have lost their. Its not people being selfish, but certianly isn't the sort of thing someone who has lost their mum needs to see.

Everyone seems to flaunt far too much on social media, no wonder there is so much anxiety and mental issues around.

We lose our parents at some point in our lives, and that’s as it should be. It’s the natural order of things. I’m not sure I agree that flaunting is the right word to describe someone sharing with others that their parents are still with them, although being sensitive to those around you is what anyone should be.

My wife and I have lived for the past four years with the risk of that natural order failing which made the fact that both our boys came over last night and stayed so they could be with their mum this morning so special for my wife (and me of course).

Mums are precious and should be loved and treasured everyday. That applies to me and my dear mum, but now the memories of that love are treasured as I lost her 25 years ago. One day set aside to explicitly celebrate that is no bad thing and it only becomes a commercial rip-off if you allow it.

johnnybev1987

Redskin said:

johnnybev1987 said:

I agree. My mum is literally the best person in the world and i will always do as much as i can regardless of what day it is.

My mate lost his mum 2 years ago and i cant imagine how he feel, add that with everyone posting photos with their mum and celebrating again has no consideration of those who have lost their. Its not people being selfish, but certianly isn't the sort of thing someone who has lost their mum needs to see.

Everyone seems to flaunt far too much on social media, no wonder there is so much anxiety and mental issues around.

My mother died of Althzeimer's seven years ago, and I'm glad that people still have their mothers around to make a fuss of.

Of course Redskin i expect most have who have lost either parents. My point is more the impications it has for others who may have lost their parents and either arent as strong or suffer from depressio etc. My friend who lives with me again puts on a brave face but i can see today be is not himself, he has suffered depression and some would say he will always have that somewhere and days like today i really worry that he falls on dark times.

Even i find it tedious and i am very fortunate to have my mum and see he pretty much everyday.

johnnybev1987

bobmunro said:

johnnybev1987 said:

I agree. My mum is literally the best person in the world and i will always do as much as i can regardless of what day it is.

My mate lost his mum 2 years ago and i cant imagine how he feel, add that with everyone posting photos with their mum and celebrating again has no consideration of those who have lost their. Its not people being selfish, but certianly isn't the sort of thing someone who has lost their mum needs to see.

Everyone seems to flaunt far too much on social media, no wonder there is so much anxiety and mental issues around.

We lose our parents at some point in our lives, and that’s as it should be. It’s the natural order of things. I’m not sure I agree that flaunting is the right word to describe someone sharing with others that their parents are still with them, although being sensitive to those around you is what anyone should be.

My wife and I have lived for the past four years with the risk of that natural order failing which made the fact that both our boys came over last night and stayed so they could be with their mum this morning so special for my wife (and me of course).

Mums are precious and should be loved and treasured everyday. That applies to me and my dear mum, but now the memories of that love are treasured as I lost her 25 years ago. One day set aside to explicitly celebrate that is no bad thing and it only becomes a commercial rip-off if you allow it.

I understand and what you and redskin are saying are correct. I agree with OP where it can also be looked at in a completely different light. Yes people who have lost arent going to be looking down on people etc. Just all these posts could make them feel 10x worse.

Today's society too much things on social media which cause alot more serious issues sometimes.

iainment

It's a bastardisation of an old religious festival where you were expected to go back to your mother church. That is the church where you were christened or baptised.
I suspect that Hallmark saw the opportunity to turn it from Mothering Sunday into Mothers Day and the rest is just the buy in from us all.
Is it good or bad? Well although it is ubiquitous it isn't compulsory - even if opting out might be very difficult.

hoof_it_up_to_benty

All a bit overhyped - a lot of parents would prefer to see their kids rather than get an unwanted present.

Time is the most precious thing you can share with parents and kids - hopefully you like each other.

Addickted

I love these kind of annual celebrations.

Indeed I'm starting a campaign for '2nd cousin twice removed Day' for the third Sunday in October.

2nd cousins are so overlooked in todays modern society and it's time we bought some parity back for the sake of us all.

ricky_otto

hoof_it_up_to_benty said:

All a bit overhyped - a lot of parents would prefer to see their kids rather than get an unwanted present.

Time is the most precious thing you can share with parents and kids - hopefully you like each other.

Agreed - my mum wasn’t too happy with the Charlton v Fleetwood tickets I gave her.

stevexreeve

Agree - my son does not really know how to be "kind" to his mother in the way society tells her she should expect. So we just end up with tears and arguments all day.

Hate the whole bloody thing - totally evil!

If you love your mum - be nice to her. You don't need an excuse or permission from Hallmark!

palarsehater

my mum is a 2 in 1 as the old mans a no show, took her for dinner at cau in blackheath, she enjoyed it.

EastTerrace

Happy Mother’s Day from the bump. Wtf?

HantsAddick

I personally don't need it as I don't have kids, and no longer have a Mother. So guess the answer to your question is no.

suzisausage

I have no children but got a picture from my friend of her children saying 'Happy mother's day to our lovely godmother' (I am their godmother btw) which i thought was a nice thought.

Raith_C_Chattonell

I don’t recall Father’s day being taken seriously in the UK when I was a kid. It was only made official in the USA in 1966, and then gradually taken up here by a sceptical public who were well aware of the commercial advantage to business and card companies.

Mother’s day or Mothering Sunday was a different kettle of fish entirely. Mothers bore the responsibility of the home and child raising pretty much on their own and often in very tough economic conditions. I don’t think anyone begrudged ‘mother’ a day of grace and pampering.

The lines are more blurred nowadays of course. Modern marriages (I am told) consist of a far more equal partnership. Women are no longer chained to the kitchen sink and they share the financial burden. Meanwhile, men are far more hands on with childcare, they help around the house, and have even learnt to operate the vacuum cleaner and washing machine.

I s’pose you pays your money and takes your choice. I’d be delighted to partake in both festivals, but sadly both parents long gone. As for my own grown up kids, I prefer their presence to presents.

_MrDick

nth london addick said:

It’s a lovely day to celebrate the women in our lives

If you’ve lost a parent like I have it’s acday of fond relflection

Here, Here ...

Wheresmeticket

Load of nonsense IMO. I remember my parents on their birthdays.

A mum is for life, not just for mother's day.

Algarveaddick

Neither my dead Mum or my dead Dad ever expected me to celebrate either day. They were of the opinion that you should be kind to them all the time. As others have said, their "days" were birthdays.

A few friends on Facebook who have lost parents were down about it "Worst day of the year" as one who lost his Mum very young, put it. Most were happy that they had Mums still with us now we are mostly late middle aged, others celebrating the lives of Mums they missed.

I am totally unsentimental about it, it would have been my Mum's 89th birthday on Saturday, I was lucky enough to be at a marvelous wedding, and didn't even think about it all day.

Everyone is different. Social media is going to show people celebrating, if you are of a mind to get upset, stay away from Twitter or facebook for a day or two.

Curb_It

I understand what the OP is saying. Back in the 90's when we didn't have FB it was barely noticeable, I just knew certain mates wouldn't be out that day as they were doing family stuff and to avoid going for a sunday roast as it would be full of happy families.

But with the invention of FB it really does bring it all back in to focus and makes it all a bit more difficult, more so than in the early days.

Though nowadays my timeline is 50% full of lovely pictures and memories of dead people. I feel like im in Sixth Sense.

I always tell myself ill stay off it that day but cant help peeking.

3blokes

Personally, I think Mothers Day has degenerated into another marker in the retail calendar, slotted neatly in between Valentines Day and Easter as another money spinner. BUT I can appreciate that for many people and plenty of mums it is a happy day and you can’t really knock that.
Fathers Day always feels a bit contrived to me, as though we have to have one because there is a Mothers Day.

T_C_E

As someone that had a turbulent relationship (to say the least) with my mum, but spent the last five years of her life trying to put things right. I find it very commercialised and mum would have agreed, as with Valentine's Day. Sitting across the room from me I'm lucky enough to have, my wife, my best friend, mother to our children and I tell her everyday how special she is too me. If I want buy her chocolates, flowers or take her out for a meal I do it because I want too not because someone says it's the right thing to do on a certain day. Equally you can do as you chose.

Addickted

suzisausage said:

I have no children but got a picture from my friend of her children saying 'Happy mother's day to our lovely godmother' (I am their godmother btw) which i thought was a nice thought.

How near are their birthdays?