To be fair the only two people who can comment on this is myself and mfL. If, like mfL states, I did shout those words the I apologies for that single outburst. I am not an aggressive person and have never shown those traits, passion must not be confused with aggression.
If the language is deemed to be offensive then we can quite clearly hear the north stand chanting from where we sit. It doesn't make it right but you would have to sit in a cupboard to not hear any shouting or choice language of any kind.
Swearing in the Family Stand cannot be excused because you can hear swearing from other stands.
Not an excuse, but watching us does make you want to swear!
No one wants laddish behaviour in the family stand, but the really big BUT is that it is a football match where emotions run deep and language is such a subjective thing in such a diverse gathering.
I moved from the family stand as I was fed up with families that would turn up after kick off, unpack the picnic, have kids jumping up and down, kicking seats, shouting and arguing, and dropping off to sleep, all with little or non existent parental control.
If your kids do not want to watch the game for 90 minutes they really are a bit too young to go. That behaviour is just as unreasonable as my family and I had paid to watch the game and I think It is not unreasonable to expect parents to ensure they have found their seats and settled their children down before kick off. (Dropping off to sleep is of course totally understandable).
My son started going at 4 and after a lot of begging we used to get to the ground at 1.30 to watch all the warm ups etc. I am not sure if that is unusual or not, but he understood the game and loved it all. Still does.
Some kids are ready. Some are not. If one bloke shouting is so upsetting it would suggest to me that she is a bit too young at the moment. After all, we do not want to put her off football for life!
Had a similar situation in the covered end a few years back. The bloke in the row behind us (not directly behind us) used to shout all sorts and use some very colourful language.
One day a guy in front of him turned round and said “do you mind toning it down a bit please mate, you’re scaring my son?”
The bloke look mortified and apologied immediately. At half time he went and bought the kid a Mars bar to say sorry.
Since then they’ve been good mates and I’m pretty sure the kid (who is now in his early teens) shouts more and uses more colourful language than the bloke himself.
...........
I don’t know Justin, but if you’d told him he was scaring your daughter in a polite manner, you may have got a better reaction.
I would like to think that Justin will say that I was polite during our exchange.
We sit in the family stand and I can see both sides to this. I regularly get the back of my seat kicked, toddlers clambering over seats, needing to get up and down as kids go to the toilet /snack bar, annoying day trippers etc. It is irritating, but I take the view that you just have to roll with it as you are sitting in the section of the ground for children and, in some cases, those with special needs.
Sounds to me like you sorted the situation out by moving away from each other. I guess MFL is just a bit annoyed he had to move, when he was the one with the scared 5 year old.
Can’t comment on the specific scenario as I wasn’t there but I can see both sides. I’ve had a couple of instances this season when a family with kids who IMHO were just too young to be there sat behind us and I felt myself tempering my usual behaviour to the point where I was consciously uncomfortable (and I’m pretty well behaved, just prone to the odd expletive from time to time as are others around me). At that point I’m afraid I took the view that there’s is a family stand so I’ll carry on. From a personal perspective, I would make a conscious effort to moderate myself if I found myself in the family stand for whatever reason. Having said all that, taking young kids to a football match and hoping they don’t see/hear anything inappropriate is a bit like taking a vegetarian window shopping to a butchers. Live and let live folks.
I sit in the family stand and suffer tourettes whilst at Charlton and near other people Can't wait for Roland to go and I wont have to sit in the cheap seats any more amongst kids constantly spilling drinks and kicking backs of chairs
One good thing from this thread is I was sitting in the northwest quadrant discussing where to get season tickets should/when Roland goes.
It would be much cheaper for our group in the family stand as there are a couple of under 11s.
After the comments above there is no way on earth I am getting a season ticket there.
I don’t shout a lot and I hardly ever swear but when I do, the last thing I want is to feel like I’ve overstepped some boundary as a result of being in the family stand.
I sit in the family stand and suffer tourettes whilst at Charlton and near other people Can't wait for Roland to go and I wont have to sit in the cheap seats any more amongst kids constantly spilling drinks and kicking backs of chairs
I go with my 7 yr olds. Don’t sit in the family stand but near. I sing and shout and still go mad when we score. Haven’t managed to scare my kids yet though finding the non swearing bit a challenge. A mate took his 7yr old West Ham earlier this year and he was scared by the crowd noise.
Needs to be some acceptance. If you are behaving like you would in the north upper then you should be in the north upper. On the other hand you have to accept it’s a football ground not a Saturday morning cinema show and that shouting and hollering around you is part of the deal, including the family stand.
The likelyhood here chaps is that neither of you is either fully in the right or wrong, so suspect The sensible thing to do would be to respectfully leave it there.
That is a far too reasoned response and for that you have been given a flag.
I obviously cannot comment on the individual circumstances of the disagreement between the two posters featured on this thread.
However in a clearly designated Family Stand it is not unreasonable to expect 'Family' standards of behaviour.
The difficulty is that one person's 'passion' is another person's 'over reaction' and it is difficult to hit a happy medium and know what are acceptable standards of behaviour.
For example I have posted elsewhere that I often feel in the wrong and a weirdo for trying to teach my grandchildren respect and consideration for others in public places as it seems de rigueur for those supposedly in charge of children to allow them to run riot annoying everybody in the vicinity without any form of censure.
If the parents have no standards as to acceptable behaviour in public how can the children be expected to have any?
Sat up in the North-East for a few years when my two were kids. The swearing was outrageous and many people complained, but I always took the view that they are only kids so let them have some fun!
last time we went in the FS was Burnley at home a couple of years back. Wasn’t a very kid friendly atmosphere that day! On a normal match day, it’s a good area for little ones to ease their way into proper football, we all have to start somewhere, even if they can’t concentrate for 90mins. It’s a decent place to sit in my opinion.
Appreciate the comments on all sides of the argument here - has been an interesting discussion.
I suppose this brings me back to the original question which is: if a parent feels uncomfortable (politely) challenging inappropriate behaviour in the Family Stand (accepting this is a subjective judgement), then is there any point in having a stand designated for families at all?
I think families are better off going in the East Stand if they don't want any rowdiness. No offence to you East Standers but I couldn't help noticing the other day in the East Stand that the average age there must be at least 70!
I think families are better off going in the East Stand if they don't want any rowdiness. No offence to you East Standers but I couldn't help noticing the other day in the East Stand that the average age there must be at least 70!
That is the second time in a fortnight you have had a pop at my age, I was a silver surfer the other week. You can go off people you know
I think families are better off going in the East Stand if they don't want any rowdiness. No offence to you East Standers but I couldn't help noticing the other day in the East Stand that the average age there must be at least 70!
I think families are better off going in the East Stand if they don't want any rowdiness. No offence to you East Standers but I couldn't help noticing the other day in the East Stand that the average age there must be at least 70!
I think families are better off going in the East Stand if they don't want any rowdiness. No offence to you East Standers but I couldn't help noticing the other day in the East Stand that the average age there must be at least 70!
This seems a fair shout. I take my 5 year old daughter and we sit in the West Lower. The very back row has only two seats and she is able to run along the back without upsetting others as there are, sadly, no fans anywhere near us. The youth teams sit there and are all too preoccupied with their phones to watch the match so swearing isn't an issue. If the ground was anywhere near full I probably wouldn't take her as she thinks it's noisy as it is !!
I think families are better off going in the East Stand if they don't want any rowdiness. No offence to you East Standers but I couldn't help noticing the other day in the East Stand that the average age there must be at least 70!
This seems a fair shout. I take my 5 year old daughter and we sit in the West Lower. The very back row has only two seats and she is able to run along the back without upsetting others as there are, sadly, no fans anywhere near us. The youth teams sit there and are all too preoccupied with their phones to watch the match so swearing isn't an issue. If the ground was anywhere near full I probably wouldn't take her as she thinks it's noisy as it is !!
I think families are better off going in the East Stand if they don't want any rowdiness. No offence to you East Standers but I couldn't help noticing the other day in the East Stand that the average age there must be at least 70!
This seems a fair shout. I take my 5 year old daughter and we sit in the West Lower. The very back row has only two seats and she is able to run along the back without upsetting others as there are, sadly, no fans anywhere near us. The youth teams sit there and are all too preoccupied with their phones to watch the match so swearing isn't an issue. If the ground was anywhere near full I probably wouldn't take her as she thinks it's noisy as it is !!
It's a great shout if money isn't an object.
I have no idea what the family stand or East stand costs. Depending on the opposition I think I pay 17 or 19 quid for my ticket and it always seems to be a fiver for my daughter. Is that much dearer than being in the family section?
I think families are better off going in the East Stand if they don't want any rowdiness. No offence to you East Standers but I couldn't help noticing the other day in the East Stand that the average age there must be at least 70!
This seems a fair shout. I take my 5 year old daughter and we sit in the West Lower. The very back row has only two seats and she is able to run along the back without upsetting others as there are, sadly, no fans anywhere near us. The youth teams sit there and are all too preoccupied with their phones to watch the match so swearing isn't an issue. If the ground was anywhere near full I probably wouldn't take her as she thinks it's noisy as it is !!
It's a great shout if money isn't an object.
I have no idea what the family stand or East stand costs. Depending on the opposition I think I pay 17 or 19 quid for my ticket and it always seems to be a fiver for my daughter. Is that much dearer than being in the family section?
No don't think so but season tickets are a lot cheaper in FS so depends how much you go.
I think families are better off going in the East Stand if they don't want any rowdiness. No offence to you East Standers but I couldn't help noticing the other day in the East Stand that the average age there must be at least 70!
This seems a fair shout. I take my 5 year old daughter and we sit in the West Lower. The very back row has only two seats and she is able to run along the back without upsetting others as there are, sadly, no fans anywhere near us. The youth teams sit there and are all too preoccupied with their phones to watch the match so swearing isn't an issue. If the ground was anywhere near full I probably wouldn't take her as she thinks it's noisy as it is !!
It's a great shout if money isn't an object.
I have no idea what the family stand or East stand costs. Depending on the opposition I think I pay 17 or 19 quid for my ticket and it always seems to be a fiver for my daughter. Is that much dearer than being in the family section?
No don't think so but season tickets are a lot cheaper in FS so depends how much you go.
Oh ok. I've taken my daughter 5 times this season so probably done it the cheapest way.
I think families are better off going in the East Stand if they don't want any rowdiness. No offence to you East Standers but I couldn't help noticing the other day in the East Stand that the average age there must be at least 70!
This seems a fair shout. I take my 5 year old daughter and we sit in the West Lower. The very back row has only two seats and she is able to run along the back without upsetting others as there are, sadly, no fans anywhere near us. The youth teams sit there and are all too preoccupied with their phones to watch the match so swearing isn't an issue. If the ground was anywhere near full I probably wouldn't take her as she thinks it's noisy as it is !!
It's a great shout if money isn't an object.
I have no idea what the family stand or East stand costs. Depending on the opposition I think I pay 17 or 19 quid for my ticket and it always seems to be a fiver for my daughter. Is that much dearer than being in the family section?
No don't think so but season tickets are a lot cheaper in FS so depends how much you go.
Depending on your daughters age,her season ticket could be free.
Comments
No one wants laddish behaviour in the family stand, but the really big BUT is that it is a football match where emotions run deep and language is such a subjective thing in such a diverse gathering.
I moved from the family stand as I was fed up with families that would turn up after kick off, unpack the picnic, have kids jumping up and down, kicking seats, shouting and arguing, and dropping off to sleep, all with little or non existent parental control.
If your kids do not want to watch the game for 90 minutes they really are a bit too young to go. That behaviour is just as unreasonable as my family and I had paid to watch the game and I think It is not unreasonable to expect parents to ensure they have found their seats and settled their children down before kick off. (Dropping off to sleep is of course totally understandable).
My son started going at 4 and after a lot of begging we used to get to the ground at 1.30 to watch all the warm ups etc. I am not sure if that is unusual or not, but he understood the game and loved it all. Still does.
Some kids are ready. Some are not. If one bloke shouting is so upsetting it would suggest to me that she is a bit too young at the moment. After all, we do not want to put her off football for life!
Sounds to me like you sorted the situation out by moving away from each other. I guess MFL is just a bit annoyed he had to move, when he was the one with the scared 5 year old.
Can't wait for Roland to go and I wont have to sit in the cheap seats any more amongst kids constantly spilling drinks and kicking backs of chairs
It would be much cheaper for our group in the family stand as there are a couple of under 11s.
After the comments above there is no way on earth I am getting a season ticket there.
I don’t shout a lot and I hardly ever swear but when I do, the last thing I want is to feel like I’ve overstepped some boundary as a result of being in the family stand.
Dictatorship at its finest :-)
However in a clearly designated Family Stand it is not unreasonable to expect 'Family' standards of behaviour.
The difficulty is that one person's 'passion' is another person's 'over reaction' and it is difficult to hit a happy medium and know what are acceptable standards of behaviour.
For example I have posted elsewhere that I often feel in the wrong and a weirdo for trying to teach my grandchildren respect and consideration for others in public places as it seems de rigueur for those supposedly in charge of children to allow them to run riot annoying everybody in the vicinity without any form of censure.
If the parents have no standards as to acceptable behaviour in public how can the children be expected to have any?
I suppose this brings me back to the original question which is: if a parent feels uncomfortable (politely) challenging inappropriate behaviour in the Family Stand (accepting this is a subjective judgement), then is there any point in having a stand designated for families at all?
u-11 £25 season ticket or £3 per match
Adult £175 (i think) season ticket or £17 per match