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Least Plausible Story involving you that's true.

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  • paulie8290
    paulie8290 Posts: 23,345
    I have performed at The Old Vic
  • ozaddick
    ozaddick Posts: 2,852
    harveys_gardener said:

    ozaddick said:

    Back in the beginning of September 2001 I woke up saying ‘what the f*ck..!???’ after a very realistic dream. I was rattled for days after.
    It wasn’t what happened in the dream, but the emotions I was experiencing. I was driving along in my work van when I turned onto a road, which had a palm tree in the middle of a roundabout further down the way. As I begin driving down the road I wanna suddenly over come with the emotions that were of absolute dread and dumbfounded disbelieve, and I’m my dream I was shouting ‘NO...NO!! Holy f*~k.. NO!!! .” etc etc. As I said, I woke up in a bit of a state, it felt so real.

    A few days later, I’m round my housemates mate, having a feed, I’d only met him a couple of times and it was the first time round his gaff.

    After I left, I got lost driving. I turned at a junction, into the road in my dreams a few nights before, with a palm tree in the distance. The emotions and feelings of the dream came back and hit my like a feckin tidal wave, I was punching the steering wheel yelling “NO!! No way!!” I was in disbelief.

    Finally made it home, grabbed a beer, switched on the box and tried to calm down.

    15 minutes later the program cut to a news flash... a commercial jet had crashed into one of the World trade centre twin towers.... the timing of the crash was exactly when I was driving along that road with the palm tree.

    I’ve had other ones, but not on that scale.

    Didn't realise the twin towers were shaped like palm trees. Thought they were in NY not Vegas.
    The clues in username. ;)
  • ricky_otto
    ricky_otto Posts: 22,600
    McBobbin said:

    StigThundercock said:

    Balearic beach bar circa 1990, uber tanned skandi motherly type Inga takes me back to her villa for a coupla days international relations. Two days later in the same bar, familiar looking but more my own age Steffi says "Hi, Mamma tells me you do very good sex, so come to my villa with me, yes?" Ever the gentleman I accepted. At breakfast next day I was the least relaxed of we 3 there present, to put it mildly. I & S however entirely at ease. And before all you perverts get overexcited, no, there was no 3 way, that would've been weird...

    image
    Hahaha - that’s cracked me up. I’m literally crying.
  • hoof_it_up_to_benty
    hoof_it_up_to_benty Posts: 22,487
    I saw Ricky Villa in his underpants when working as a postman - he had to sign for a letter and obviously thought this attire was okay.
  • hawksmoor
    hawksmoor Posts: 2,608
    I interviewed Alan Curbishley when he was in his underpants.
  • A-R-T-H-U-R
    A-R-T-H-U-R Posts: 7,678
    edited June 2018
    hawksmoor said:

    I interviewed Alan Curbishley when he was in his underpants.

    What, Ricky Villa's?
  • hawksmoor
    hawksmoor Posts: 2,608
    They could've been. They were briefs. Not boxers. Briefs.
  • SoundAsa£
    SoundAsa£ Posts: 22,506
    hawksmoor said:

    I interviewed Alan Curbishley when he was in his underpants.

    I would have been more impressed had you have written.....”I interviewed Alan Curbishley when I was in my underpants”.
  • Valiantphil
    Valiantphil Posts: 6,413
    paulie8290 said:

    I have performed at The Old Vic

    A bird I know performed on Old VIC.

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  • ross1
    ross1 Posts: 51,034
    charente addick said:

    Used to be related via my dad's second marriage to Michael Crawford.

    Your dad was married to Michael Crawford, I don't believe you :smiley:
  • paulie8290
    paulie8290 Posts: 23,345
    ross1 said:

    charente addick said:

    Used to be related via my dad's second marriage to Michael Crawford.

    Your dad was married to Michael Crawford, I don't believe you :smiley:
    He married him twice as well.
  • ross1
    ross1 Posts: 51,034
    Valiantphil said:

    paulie8290 said:

    I have performed at The Old Vic

    A bird I know performed on Old VIC.
    Lucky old Vic
  • rina
    rina Posts: 2,337
    Wilma said:

    With thanks to my Mum, who mentioned this story last night and reminded me.

    A couple of years ago my Mum was driving my car to Hythe to visit family whilst I was at work, when the car was hit from behind on the A20. A Dutch ambulance transporting a patient back to the UK had rammed my car into the back of an AA recovery truck. Everyone was okay, whiplash and some cuts & bruises but the car was a write off. Police attended briefly and then left everyone to sort themselves out once they realised that everyone was okay. The ambulance staff had even offered to check over my Mum and sister, but a UK service attended thankfully.

    Following up with the insurance company was a nightmare as it was a foreign registered vehicle, lots of back and forth with emails/letters/phonecalls to try and sort it out. A couple of weeks later, I was watching the news when the ambulance that had written off my car popped up on the screen. Turned out that it was a fake ambulance being used to smuggle drugs. The police had been watching/tracking them for ages. Insurance paid out pretty quickly after I phoned and told them that!

    The ambulance pictured in this story is the exact one that smashed my car up: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-birmingham-36702589

    @wilma these guys caused me a bit of inconvenience

    My brother, a friend and I were taking 3 ex NHS emergency ambulances from Manchester to Donetsk to donate to the Ukrainian army so were getting a ferry from Hull to Rotterdam. Before we could board we had to have a meeting with the counter terrorist police who checked over the vehicles and told us about this group who were using ambulances to smuggle drugs over from the Netherlands
  • LawrieAbrahams
    LawrieAbrahams Posts: 3,780
    letthegoodtimesroll said:

    .

    LawrieAbrahams said:

    When I was at school, aged 12, I was shot at point blank range by a Bobcat air rifle.

    Did you live ?
    The pellet stuck in the fleshy bit between the lower lip and the chin. He thought he was just firing air at me but the pellet must have still been stuck in there. We made up some story about how I'd been shot from the woods behind the bus stop (Chislehurst War Memorial).
  • holyjo
    holyjo Posts: 1,330
    I once was the pianist for Linda Hamilton the woman who sang the theme tune for Prisoner Cell Block H ........You used to give me roses
  • BDL
    BDL Posts: 6,001
    Freddie Flintoff once nicked my Cab at Birmingham New Street, he was in a real 2 and 8 though.
  • Chris_from_Sidcup
    Chris_from_Sidcup Posts: 36,103
    holyjo said:

    I once was the pianist for Linda Hamilton the woman who sang the theme tune for Prisoner Cell Block H ........You used to give me roses

    Think you mean Lynne Hamilton. Linda Hamilton was in the Terminator.
  • McBobbin
    McBobbin Posts: 12,057
    Mark Morris from the Bluestones gave me a ciggie once. Lame story, but not as lame as the silk cut light ffs. Charlotte from Ash bought me a Stella the same night. That's more like it.
  • Pelling1993
    Pelling1993 Posts: 6,732
    In 2008 I came back to my hotel room in Vilamoura to see Luke Young & Robert Huth having a cigarette on my terrace/balcony (it was on the ground floor). They had jumped over the railings as the management team at Middlesbrough had walked round the corner. They did sort me out free tickets to their Pre-Season tournament games though!

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  • The Red Robin
    The Red Robin Posts: 26,154
    Pelling1993 said:

    In 2008 I came back to my hotel room in Vilamoura to see Luke Young & Robert Huth having a cigarette on my terrace/balcony (it was on the ground floor). They had jumped over the railings as the management team at Middlesbrough had walked round the corner. They did sort me out free tickets to their Pre-Season tournament games though!

    Luke Young always seemed a sociable bloke and as club captain you'd regularly see him having a beer in the Millenium Lounge after a game. Best right back I've seen at Charlton.
  • Ormiston_Addick
    Ormiston_Addick Posts: 8,813
    The Red Robin said:

    Pelling1993 said:

    In 2008 I came back to my hotel room in Vilamoura to see Luke Young & Robert Huth having a cigarette on my terrace/balcony (it was on the ground floor). They had jumped over the railings as the management team at Middlesbrough had walked round the corner. They did sort me out free tickets to their Pre-Season tournament games though!

    Luke Young always seemed a sociable bloke and as club captain you'd regularly see him having a beer in the Millenium Lounge after a game. Best right back I've seen at Charlton.
    I guess it shows the difference in eras in that a class player like John Humphrey never got near an England cap at Charlton or Palace whereas Young won seven caps at Charlton.

    In Humphrey’s time there was only one foreign full back in the top league - Sivebaeck at United - now there are probably only only a handful of Englishman.
  • DA9
    DA9 Posts: 11,093
    edited June 2018
    I once discussed motorbikes with Elvis Presleys’ step brother Billy Stanley (Honda cub 90 to be precise)
  • SporadicAddick
    SporadicAddick Posts: 6,906
    masicat said:

    I represented Kent at boxing. Nobody at the Orpington Amateur Boxing Club could understand how I was picked as I was hopeless. But my name was chosen and I fought bravely against a lad from Essex for just over 45 seconds.

    Did you ever have another fight?
  • AddicksAddict
    AddicksAddict Posts: 15,838
    edited June 2018
    StigThundercock said:

    Balearic beach bar circa 1990, uber tanned skandi motherly type Inga takes me back to her villa for a coupla days international relations. Two days later in the same bar, familiar looking but more my own age Steffi says "Hi, Mamma tells me you do very good sex, so come to my villa with me, yes?" Ever the gentleman I accepted. At breakfast next day I was the least relaxed of we 3 there present, to put it mildly. I & S however entirely at ease. And before all you perverts get overexcited, no, there was no 3 way, that would've been weird...

    And that's not even why he's called Thundercock.
  • AddicksAddict
    AddicksAddict Posts: 15,838
    smudge7946 said:

    I had sex with a woman.


    I had sex with more than just one.
  • uie2
    uie2 Posts: 4,596
    ozaddick said:

    Back in the beginning of September 2001 I woke up saying ‘what the f*ck..!???’ after a very realistic dream. I was rattled for days after.
    It wasn’t what happened in the dream, but the emotions I was experiencing. I was driving along in my work van when I turned onto a road, which had a palm tree in the middle of a roundabout further down the way. As I begin driving down the road I wanna suddenly over come with the emotions that were of absolute dread and dumbfounded disbelieve, and I’m my dream I was shouting ‘NO...NO!! Holy f*~k.. NO!!! .” etc etc. As I said, I woke up in a bit of a state, it felt so real.

    A few days later, I’m round my housemates mate, having a feed, I’d only met him a couple of times and it was the first time round his gaff.

    After I left, I got lost driving. I turned at a junction, into the road in my dreams a few nights before, with a palm tree in the distance. The emotions and feelings of the dream came back and hit my like a feckin tidal wave, I was punching the steering wheel yelling “NO!! No way!!” I was in disbelief.

    Finally made it home, grabbed a beer, switched on the box and tried to calm down.

    15 minutes later the program cut to a news flash... a commercial jet had crashed into one of the World trade centre twin towers.... the timing of the crash was exactly when I was driving along that road with the palm tree.

    I’ve had other ones, but not on that scale.

    Blimey mate , that's amazing
  • Alwaysneil
    Alwaysneil Posts: 13,822
    AddicksAddict said:

    smudge7946 said:

    I had sex with a woman.


    I had sex with more than just one.
    Is that supposed to be the most unbelievable situiation ever?

    Well done. Hahahahaha
  • smiffyboy
    smiffyboy Posts: 4,314
    My dad took me probably 20 - 25 years ago to watch the practice day for the open at sandwich. I was hanging around the greens with my spotters jotter and a pen getting the players autographs whe seve ballasteros walked off, so I ran up to him with my pen n book and thrust it in his face asking for him to sign it. At the same time as doing so his foot went down a hole and the end of the pen ended up up his nostril to which point he said hey what are you trying to do shove the pen up my nose!!!! Before storming off with the hump, Fred couples was behind him and see what happened so signed his golf ball and gave it to me as compansation.
  • SuedeAdidas
    SuedeAdidas Posts: 7,760
    I once fully investigated a suspected murder at Grove Park station.

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