I had one last night that clearly lays out my current anxieties about Covid and Charlton whilst giving a nod to Charltonparklane's excellent Lego model:
Act 1: The state of lockdown has stopped the football programme with a few games to go and with Charlton in the relegation zone. The authorities are desperate to find a way of settling the season and, under pressure from the likes of Liverpool and Leeds, insist on promotions and relegations (everyone with me so far?). They decide to settle the season using some mathematical algorithm that would see Charlton relegated.
Act 2: We are in a courtroom and I am a hotshot lawyer. I give a rousing speech outlining exactly why the season should either be finished in its entirety or nullified. I sum up by saying that as the League didn't like finishing things properly, they'd obviously be happy foregoing their right to reply. Obviously they aren't happy, but despite their victorian protests (they are all dressed up like the Fat Controller) the judge agrees with me.
Act 2: The season restarts (I've no idea how the Corona problem was solved). Charlton now have just two matches to play. For reasons that I don't understand, we face Southampton away and at home. I don't understand the mathematics but all we had to do was maintain a goal difference of -2 over the course of these two matches to stay up. At St Mary's, The Saints were all over us but only managed to win by 1-0, meaning a 1 goal defeat or better at The Valley would see us safe. On match day I approached the game from Floyd Road, but as I reached Harvey Gardens I could see that the stadium had been dismantled and was laying all over the road in the style of lego bricks. As we approached were were handed leaflets saying that the ground was too expensive to run and that to save money the board were sending it to Big Yellow Storage for safe keeping.
Act 4: I woke up screaming.
Were you driving a big white Range Rover to a flat above the Thames at any point?
I was at one end of a room and Farnell and another bloke were at the other, both whispering but I could hear it all and kept repeating it back to them. Only thing I remember is him smirking while saying "they think I'm gone". Fuck you Farnell for invading my dream space too.
I was at one end of a room and Farnell and another bloke were at the other, both whispering but I could hear it all and kept repeating it back to them. Only thing I remember is him smirking while saying "they think I'm gone". Fuck you Farnell for invading my dream space too.
I hate to call this out again, I simply do not believe people dream about the ownership of the club... Seriously weird if they do.
I was at one end of a room and Farnell and another bloke were at the other, both whispering but I could hear it all and kept repeating it back to them. Only thing I remember is him smirking while saying "they think I'm gone". Fuck you Farnell for invading my dream space too.
I hate to call this out again, I simply do not believe people dream about the ownership of the club... Seriously weird if they do.
You realise you don't have control over what you dream right?
I was at one end of a room and Farnell and another bloke were at the other, both whispering but I could hear it all and kept repeating it back to them. Only thing I remember is him smirking while saying "they think I'm gone". Fuck you Farnell for invading my dream space too.
I hate to call this out again, I simply do not believe people dream about the ownership of the club... Seriously weird if they do.
You realise you don't have control over what you dream right?
Of course I do, but it just seems incredibly odd, even as dreams go!
Maybe I am over thinking it. I can fly in one sequence of recurring dreams I have and in another I can't lift my limbs off the bed.
I was at one end of a room and Farnell and another bloke were at the other, both whispering but I could hear it all and kept repeating it back to them. Only thing I remember is him smirking while saying "they think I'm gone". Fuck you Farnell for invading my dream space too.
I hate to call this out again, I simply do not believe people dream about the ownership of the club... Seriously weird if they do.
You realise you don't have control over what you dream right?
Of course I do, but it just seems incredibly odd, even as dreams go!
Maybe I am over thinking it. I can fly in one sequence of recurring dreams I have and in another I can't lift my limbs off the bed.
Never have recurring dreams. I actually don't think it's that weird given how much the twat has been in my head recently reading here and twitter obsessively.
I'd love to dream about the ownership situation. I dreamt I kept losing my balance as if I had some severe nervous disease and then fell face in to a urinal and couldn't breathe for the foam.
Got some serious issues now I'm not going to install a urinal at home
I was at one end of a room and Farnell and another bloke were at the other, both whispering but I could hear it all and kept repeating it back to them. Only thing I remember is him smirking while saying "they think I'm gone". Fuck you Farnell for invading my dream space too.
I hate to call this out again, I simply do not believe people dream about the ownership of the club... Seriously weird if they do.
You realise you don't have control over what you dream right?
Of course I do, but it just seems incredibly odd, even as dreams go!
Maybe I am over thinking it. I can fly in one sequence of recurring dreams I have and in another I can't lift my limbs off the bed.
The 'flying' dream is indicative of you trying to escape from something; except that the flying representation merely shows that it's an impossibility (as you'll never really be able to fly, therefore, you'll never escape from whatever it is you're trying to evade).
The 'can't lift your limbs off the bed' gig, simply reinforces the flying dream. In that, your limbs are that heavy that you are rendered completely helpless and have no control whatsoever over the situation. You're simply stuck and have no choice in life.
(PS: Completely made it up, but it sounds feasible and looks good. Anyway, I'm off for a fried egg sandwich before the start of Harry Potter. Sunny side up of course - representing a bright future! )
Can't understand why anyone wants to hear about other people's dreams, there's little more boring than someone else telling you about something that didn't really happen.
My wife does it about the most banal dreams. "Had this weird dream where my sister shouted at me, was really funny as she's not normally like that!"
Well, not that weird, because she didn't actually do it, did she?
I was at one end of a room and Farnell and another bloke were at the other, both whispering but I could hear it all and kept repeating it back to them. Only thing I remember is him smirking while saying "they think I'm gone". Fuck you Farnell for invading my dream space too.
I hate to call this out again, I simply do not believe people dream about the ownership of the club... Seriously weird if they do.
You realise you don't have control over what you dream right?
Of course I do, but it just seems incredibly odd, even as dreams go!
Maybe I am over thinking it. I can fly in one sequence of recurring dreams I have and in another I can't lift my limbs off the bed.
People who dream that they can’t lift their limbs also report alien abduction.
Can't understand why anyone wants to hear about other people's dreams, there's little more boring than someone else telling you about something that didn't really happen.
My wife does it about the most banal dreams. "Had this weird dream where my sister shouted at me, was really funny as she's not normally like that!"
Well, not that weird, because she didn't actually do it, did she?
One way to shut her up mate. Just say, "That IS really weird, because I had a dream about your sister too where she let me do gary - and she's not normally up for that".
Can't understand why anyone wants to hear about other people's dreams, there's little more boring than someone else telling you about something that didn't really happen.
My wife does it about the most banal dreams. "Had this weird dream where my sister shouted at me, was really funny as she's not normally like that!"
Well, not that weird, because she didn't actually do it, did she?
One way to shut her up mate. Just say, "That IS really weird, because I had a dream about your sister too where she let me do gary - and she's not normally up for that".
Can't understand why anyone wants to hear about other people's dreams, there's little more boring than someone else telling you about something that didn't really happen.
My wife does it about the most banal dreams. "Had this weird dream where my sister shouted at me, was really funny as she's not normally like that!"
Well, not that weird, because she didn't actually do it, did she?
One way to shut her up mate. Just say, "That IS really weird, because I had a dream about your sister too where she let me do gary - and she's not normally up for that".
I was at one end of a room and Farnell and another bloke were at the other, both whispering but I could hear it all and kept repeating it back to them. Only thing I remember is him smirking while saying "they think I'm gone". Fuck you Farnell for invading my dream space too.
I hate to call this out again, I simply do not believe people dream about the ownership of the club... Seriously weird if they do.
You realise you don't have control over what you dream right?
Of course I do, but it just seems incredibly odd, even as dreams go!
Maybe I am over thinking it. I can fly in one sequence of recurring dreams I have and in another I can't lift my limbs off the bed.
People who dream that they can’t lift their limbs also report alien abduction.
The memory wipe after the anal probing must have worked. I don't think I would want to remember that.
I was at one end of a room and Farnell and another bloke were at the other, both whispering but I could hear it all and kept repeating it back to them. Only thing I remember is him smirking while saying "they think I'm gone". Fuck you Farnell for invading my dream space too.
I hate to call this out again, I simply do not believe people dream about the ownership of the club... Seriously weird if they do.
You realise you don't have control over what you dream right?
Of course I do, but it just seems incredibly odd, even as dreams go!
Maybe I am over thinking it. I can fly in one sequence of recurring dreams I have and in another I can't lift my limbs off the bed.
People who dream that they can’t lift their limbs also report alien abduction.
The memory wipe after the anal probing must have worked. I don't think I would want to remember that.
I had a dream that I went for a beer with an old friend that I haven’t seen for 5 years. In the dream, he didn’t speak, he communicated by playing songs on Spotify
Had a weird one last night.
Was on holiday and got into the hotel lift with another man and instead of going up the lift went down and sideways and when the doors opened we were in North Korea where our western shoes were confiscated and we were give party approved ones.
Can’t remember any more.
Have had the one about a lift going sideways quite a lot, not heard anyone mention that before.
Rest are pretty standard, can't run forwards, taking exams without studying, back in old house etc etc
My first property was a two bed flat and I rented out a room to one of my mates. I had a dream one night that a black mist got in through the gaps in the window frames and tried to strangle me.
When I woke up, I went into the living room where my mate was telling his girlfriend about a dream where black mist got in through the window and tried to strangle him.
Right. So I woke up this morning after having a dream that I had won an award for “Best Newcomer Actress” for my depiction of Whoopie Goldberg playing as a goalkeeper in a 5-a-side team.
Right. So I woke up this morning after having a dream that I had won an award for “Best Newcomer Actress” for my depiction of Whoopie Goldberg playing as a goalkeeper in a 5-a-side team.
Comments
Fuck you Farnell for invading my dream space too.
Maybe I am over thinking it. I can fly in one sequence of recurring dreams I have and in another I can't lift my limbs off the bed.
Got some serious issues now I'm not going to install a urinal at home
The 'can't lift your limbs off the bed' gig, simply reinforces the flying dream. In that, your limbs are that heavy that you are rendered completely helpless and have no control whatsoever over the situation. You're simply stuck and have no choice in life.
(PS: Completely made it up, but it sounds feasible and looks good. Anyway, I'm off for a fried egg sandwich before the start of Harry Potter. Sunny side up of course - representing a bright future!
My wife does it about the most banal dreams. "Had this weird dream where my sister shouted at me, was really funny as she's not normally like that!"
Well, not that weird, because she didn't actually do it, did she?
* awaits wife based comments.
Rest are pretty standard, can't run forwards, taking exams without studying, back in old house etc etc
I’m not even a woman.