Got this sent today...seems appropriate to put it here too....(trying to find the brexit thread...haha...)
Letter to Mrs. May - Genius!!
Dear Mrs. May,
Please find below our suggestion for fixing Brexit.
Instead of giving billions of pounds to Euro crates, that will squander the money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan.
You can call it the Patriotic Retirement Plan:
There are about 10 million people over 50 in the work force.
Pay them £1 million each severance for early retirement with the following stipulations:
1) They MUST retire.
Ten million job openings - unemployment fixed
2) They MUST buy a new British car.
Ten million cars ordered - Car Industry fixed
3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage -
Housing Crisis fixed
4) They MUST send their kids to school/college/university -
Crime rate fixed
5) They MUST buy £100 WORTH of alcohol/tobacco a week .....
And there's your money back in duty/tax etc
It can't get any easier than that!
P.S. If more money is needed, have all members of parliament pay back their falsely claimed expenses and second home allowances
If you think this would work, please forward to everyone you know.
Also.....
Let's put the pensioners in jail and the criminals in a nursing home.
This way the pensioners would have access to showers, hobbies and walks.
They'd receive unlimited free prescriptions, dental and medical treatment, wheel chairs etc and they'd receive money instead of paying it out.
They would have constant video monitoring, so they could be helped instantly, if they fell, or needed assistance.
Bedding would be washed twice a week, and all clothing would be ironed and returned to them.
A guard would check on them every 20 minutes and bring their meals and snacks to their cell.
They would have family visits in a suite built for that purpose.
They would have access to a library, weight room, spiritual counselling, pool and education.
Simple clothing, shoes, slippers, PJ's and legal aid would be free, on request.
Private, secure rooms for all, with an exercise outdoor yard, with gardens.
Each senior could have a PC a TV radio and daily phone calls.
There would be a board of directors to hear complaints, and the guards would have a code of conduct that would be strictly adhered to.
The criminals would get cold food, be left all alone and unsupervised. Lights off at 8pm, and showers once a week. Live in a tiny room and pay £600.00 per week and have no hope of ever getting out.
Think about this (more points of contention):
COWS
Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that during the mad cow epidemic our government could track a single cow, born in Appleby almost three years ago, right to the stall where she slept in the county of Cumbria?
And, they even tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are unable to locate 125,000 illegal immigrants wandering around our country. Maybe we should give each of them a cow.
Think about this ... If you don't want to forward this for fear of offending someone -- YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM! It is time for us grumpy old folk of Britain to
What a load of bollocks.
and finished off with the classic “if you don’t forward this ...” bullshit.
Jesus Christ mate, I’m seeing an obvious sense of humour loss going on here, have you honestly taken it seriously? It’s just someone having an ironic OTT, tongue in cheek satirical rant.....I should imagine they’d be pissing themselves knowing you are so enraged.
This haha...👌🏻,oh & as for me writing that piece,I'm not quite so Shakespeare'ian to get all them words in the right places with all the correct punctuation to pass the CL edumacational test...😜...
When my dad died, my sister and I were going through the papers he accumulated during his last few years. Among them was the reciept for a new washing machine, fairly upgrade model. Some bright spark in the shop had convinced him to take out an insurance policy for the machine at around 15 quid a month. He could have bought a new one regularly for that money, especially bearing in mind most washing mashine coverage seems to include a clause paying for all reparations 'excluding any the claimant claims for', as you inevitably get told 'it'll be cheaper to buy a new one guv'.
Got this sent today...seems appropriate to put it here too....(trying to find the brexit thread...haha...)
Letter to Mrs. May - Genius!!
Dear Mrs. May,
Please find below our suggestion for fixing Brexit.
Instead of giving billions of pounds to Euro crates, that will squander the money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan.
You can call it the Patriotic Retirement Plan:
There are about 10 million people over 50 in the work force.
Pay them £1 million each severance for early retirement with the following stipulations:
1) They MUST retire.
Ten million job openings - unemployment fixed
2) They MUST buy a new British car.
Ten million cars ordered - Car Industry fixed
3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage -
Housing Crisis fixed
4) They MUST send their kids to school/college/university -
Crime rate fixed
5) They MUST buy £100 WORTH of alcohol/tobacco a week .....
And there's your money back in duty/tax etc
It can't get any easier than that!
P.S. If more money is needed, have all members of parliament pay back their falsely claimed expenses and second home allowances
If you think this would work, please forward to everyone you know.
Also.....
Let's put the pensioners in jail and the criminals in a nursing home.
This way the pensioners would have access to showers, hobbies and walks.
They'd receive unlimited free prescriptions, dental and medical treatment, wheel chairs etc and they'd receive money instead of paying it out.
They would have constant video monitoring, so they could be helped instantly, if they fell, or needed assistance.
Bedding would be washed twice a week, and all clothing would be ironed and returned to them.
A guard would check on them every 20 minutes and bring their meals and snacks to their cell.
They would have family visits in a suite built for that purpose.
They would have access to a library, weight room, spiritual counselling, pool and education.
Simple clothing, shoes, slippers, PJ's and legal aid would be free, on request.
Private, secure rooms for all, with an exercise outdoor yard, with gardens.
Each senior could have a PC a TV radio and daily phone calls.
There would be a board of directors to hear complaints, and the guards would have a code of conduct that would be strictly adhered to.
The criminals would get cold food, be left all alone and unsupervised. Lights off at 8pm, and showers once a week. Live in a tiny room and pay £600.00 per week and have no hope of ever getting out.
Think about this (more points of contention):
COWS
Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that during the mad cow epidemic our government could track a single cow, born in Appleby almost three years ago, right to the stall where she slept in the county of Cumbria?
And, they even tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are unable to locate 125,000 illegal immigrants wandering around our country. Maybe we should give each of them a cow.
Think about this ... If you don't want to forward this for fear of offending someone -- YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM! It is time for us grumpy old folk of Britain to
What a load of bollocks.
and finished off with the classic “if you don’t forward this ...” bullshit.
Jesus Christ mate, I’m seeing an obvious sense of humour loss going on here, have you honestly taken it seriously? It’s just someone having an ironic OTT, tongue in cheek satirical rant.....I should imagine they’d be pissing themselves knowing you are so enraged.
Enraged? Nah, think you’ve mistaken me for Lennie Glover !
Got this sent today...seems appropriate to put it here too....(trying to find the brexit thread...haha...)
Letter to Mrs. May - Genius!!
Dear Mrs. May,
Please find below our suggestion for fixing Brexit.
Instead of giving billions of pounds to Euro crates, that will squander the money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan.
You can call it the Patriotic Retirement Plan:
There are about 10 million people over 50 in the work force.
Pay them £1 million each severance for early retirement with the following stipulations:
1) They MUST retire.
Ten million job openings - unemployment fixed
2) They MUST buy a new British car.
Ten million cars ordered - Car Industry fixed
3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage -
Housing Crisis fixed
4) They MUST send their kids to school/college/university -
Crime rate fixed
5) They MUST buy £100 WORTH of alcohol/tobacco a week .....
And there's your money back in duty/tax etc
It can't get any easier than that!
P.S. If more money is needed, have all members of parliament pay back their falsely claimed expenses and second home allowances
If you think this would work, please forward to everyone you know.
Also.....
Let's put the pensioners in jail and the criminals in a nursing home.
This way the pensioners would have access to showers, hobbies and walks.
They'd receive unlimited free prescriptions, dental and medical treatment, wheel chairs etc and they'd receive money instead of paying it out.
They would have constant video monitoring, so they could be helped instantly, if they fell, or needed assistance.
Bedding would be washed twice a week, and all clothing would be ironed and returned to them.
A guard would check on them every 20 minutes and bring their meals and snacks to their cell.
They would have family visits in a suite built for that purpose.
They would have access to a library, weight room, spiritual counselling, pool and education.
Simple clothing, shoes, slippers, PJ's and legal aid would be free, on request.
Private, secure rooms for all, with an exercise outdoor yard, with gardens.
Each senior could have a PC a TV radio and daily phone calls.
There would be a board of directors to hear complaints, and the guards would have a code of conduct that would be strictly adhered to.
The criminals would get cold food, be left all alone and unsupervised. Lights off at 8pm, and showers once a week. Live in a tiny room and pay £600.00 per week and have no hope of ever getting out.
Think about this (more points of contention):
COWS
Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that during the mad cow epidemic our government could track a single cow, born in Appleby almost three years ago, right to the stall where she slept in the county of Cumbria?
And, they even tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are unable to locate 125,000 illegal immigrants wandering around our country. Maybe we should give each of them a cow.
Think about this ... If you don't want to forward this for fear of offending someone -- YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM! It is time for us grumpy old folk of Britain to
What a load of bollocks.
and finished off with the classic “if you don’t forward this ...” bullshit.
Jesus Christ mate, I’m seeing an obvious sense of humour loss going on here, have you honestly taken it seriously? It’s just someone having an ironic OTT, tongue in cheek satirical rant.....I should imagine they’d be pissing themselves knowing you are so enraged.
Enraged? Nah, think you’ve mistaken me for Lennie Glover !
Good to see you back and firing on all cylinders Old Bean!
My mother in law was persuaded to invest 8000 US dollars yesterday.
The perpetrators had listened in to her phonecalls and so they knew the names of other members of her family.
They used this information to call her, pretending to be her grandson. Her (fake) grandson said that his mother (her daughter) was sending someone around to collect the money. Somehow they knew that she had this hidden in her house in cash.
The guy duly came around as promised, supposedly sent by her daughter, and she gave him the money.
My mother in law was persuaded to invest 8000 US dollars yesterday.
The perpetrators had listened in to her phonecalls and so they knew the names of other members of her family.
They used this information to call her, pretending to be her grandson. Her (fake) grandson said that his mother (her daughter) was sending someone around to collect the money. Somehow they knew that she had this hidden in her house in cash.
The guy duly came around as promised, supposedly sent by her daughter, and she gave him the money.
My mother in law was persuaded to invest 8000 US dollars yesterday.
The perpetrators had listened in to her phonecalls and so they knew the names of other members of her family.
They used this information to call her, pretending to be her grandson. Her (fake) grandson said that his mother (her daughter) was sending someone around to collect the money. Somehow they knew that she had this hidden in her house in cash.
The guy duly came around as promised, supposedly sent by her daughter, and she gave him the money.
@jimmymelrose - really sorry to hear this. Must be upsetting for all involved. However, if, big if, your mother in law was targeted for exactly the amount of cash she had in the house, which your account tends to suggest, then that to me suggests an inside knowledge. Not saying that is the case but ......
I'm old voted Leave and don't give a fuck what snowflakes think
Good for you mate. That's the spirit. Fuck everyone else.
Bit of a silly comment that Off_it.
I am old, I voted leave and like GH did not give a fuck what others thought. The vote was a simple "leave" or "remian" choice. I did not enter the polling station thinking about the poor people who wanted to remain, I was focused on my vote and my team won.
Comments
They had some rib ticklers.
My mother in law was persuaded to invest 8000 US dollars yesterday.
The perpetrators had listened in to her phonecalls and so they knew the names of other members of her family.
They used this information to call her, pretending to be her grandson. Her (fake) grandson said that his mother (her daughter) was sending someone around to collect the money. Somehow they knew that she had this hidden in her house in cash.
The guy duly came around as promised, supposedly sent by her daughter, and she gave him the money.
I am old, I voted leave and like GH did not give a fuck what others thought. The vote was a simple "leave" or "remian" choice. I did not enter the polling station thinking about the poor people who wanted to remain, I was focused on my vote and my team won.