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This friend is neither your relative nor your family, it seems. So, without further context, I'd be leaning toward going.
However, there are a few questions to consider:
- Does your other half usually compromise in situations such as this? Equally, do you?
- What does "Not majorly close friends by a long shot but chummy all the same" actually mean? The context here is key. If this was your gf's best mate then you go to the wedding, obviously. If she's her former accountant or some bollocks, then go football. In between the extremes is a judgement call.
- How would you feel with a similar situation the other way round?
- Do you know how important this wedding actually is to your missus?3 -
When faced with a difficult decision, it's sometimes best to describe the two alternatives. And when you do that, the choice seems much easier.
Option one - go to the wedding, but spend all afternoon glued to a telly in a bar at the reception, despite the rude comments and disappointed looks on all the guests' faces.
Option two - go to the football, but get your other half to stream the wedding, so you can watch it on your phone, and so that everyone knows you are there in spirit.
See? Everyone's happy. You get to go to Wembley. All your other half's friends know what a good guy you are, because, even though you couldn't be there, you did your best to be involved. And your other half need never know you had your phone switched off throughout the game.5 -
By arguing, you're implying that you're open to compromise. Just tell her you're going to the football and let her sulk it out for a few days. Ask for her friends partners number and call him yourself to explain and most importantly, offer to pay for money they'll have lost on catering for you.
And if we don't get to Wembey. Hide.3 -
CharltonLad88 said:Currently having massive Whatsapp arguments with her regarding this. Can't wait to get home tonight.
Send her a link to this thread in your next message4 -
More importantly send us the Argument so we can watchDaveMehmet said:CharltonLad88 said:Currently having massive Whatsapp arguments with her regarding this. Can't wait to get home tonight.
Send her a link to this thread in your next message
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If it does, she's not the one for you. I'm very lucky that Mrs Robin would bin the wedding off as well.clb74 said:
It depends robin , if Charlton lad attends the match would this lead to the break up of his relationship.The Red Robin said:Go to the final. You'll regret it if you don't.
Charlton at Wembley is a once in a generation experience for us Addicks. Pissed up people at a wedding making small talk and stuffing their faces with beige food happens all year round. She should love you for who you are, Charlton n all - go to Wembley!6 -
88 if you really don't want to go don't go.CharltonLad88 said:Currently having massive Whatsapp arguments with her regarding this. Can't wait to get home tonight.
You don't need a big argument.
Don't listen too much to the posts on here , you got to do what you want.1 -
more importantly send us a picture of her sisterForeverAddickted said:
More importantly send us the Argument so we can watchDaveMehmet said:CharltonLad88 said:Currently having massive Whatsapp arguments with her regarding this. Can't wait to get home tonight.
Send her a link to this thread in your next message3 -
Do what's in you heart 88. I highly doubt you'll get dumped for going to Wembley. You need to be true to yourself in life and whoever is with you needs to accept that.clb74 said:
88 if you really don't want to go don't go.CharltonLad88 said:Currently having massive Whatsapp arguments with her regarding this. Can't wait to get home tonight.
You don't need a big argument.
Don't listen too much to the posts on here , you got to do what you want.0 -
Does remind me when my Sister got married in 2010 though
They knew my Charlton support was going to be an issue so got from me a list of dates when Charlton were at home so they knew which games to avoid - they then of course booked the Wedding on the weekend of the Leeds United game @ the Valley ... 1-0 win when Randolph made that cracking save at the end and so kept us in touch with the automatic spots
Because they'd asked me dates and then booked on a Charlton home day I point blankly refused to attend the wedding so they were forced to move it a week - Got grief about it in the lead up to the wedding even got a snide remark in the Speeches
Have always had the last laugh though as the original day of the wedding was bloody awful in terms of weather; the day that it was moved to (Exeter away) saw beautiful sunshine, the day doesnt get mentioned anymore because when it would be brought up I'd always remind them that it was thanks to me they had the nice day3 -
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Season ticket holder and she has loads of friends there going. Its all her friends. I'm just the other half.Huskaris said:Are you a season ticket holder who has been going all season or just going to a couple games here and there? Not that it makes you more or less of a fan in my eyes but it would strengthen your claim to be able to go to final, it's the conclusion of what you've been going to week in week out!
Does your girlfriend have a lot of other friends there or will you be the only person she knows? If she knows a lot of people there I think that you not being there is nowhere near as much of a big deal.0 -
Your sister had to run t her wedding dates through you.ForeverAddickted said:Does remind me when my Sister got married in 2010 though
They knew my Charlton support was going to be an issue so got from me a list of dates when Charlton were at home so they knew which games to avoid - they then of course booked the Wedding on the weekend of the Leeds United game @ the Valley ... 1-0 win when Randolph made that cracking save at the end and so kept us in touch with the automatic spots
Because they'd asked me dates and then booked on a Charlton home day I point blankly refused to attend the wedding so they were forced to move it a week - Got grief about it in the lead up to the wedding even got a snide remark in the Speeches
Have always had the last laugh though as the original day of the wedding was bloody awful in terms of weather; the day that it was moved to (Exeter away) saw beautiful sunshine, the day doesnt get mentioned anymore because when it would be brought up I'd always remind them that it was thanks to me they had the nice day
Your having a laugh.2 -
Are you the only other half going out of her friends?CharltonLad88 said:
Season ticket holder and she has loads of friends there going. Its all her friends. I'm just the other half.Huskaris said:Are you a season ticket holder who has been going all season or just going to a couple games here and there? Not that it makes you more or less of a fan in my eyes but it would strengthen your claim to be able to go to final, it's the conclusion of what you've been going to week in week out!
Does your girlfriend have a lot of other friends there or will you be the only person she knows? If she knows a lot of people there I think that you not being there is nowhere near as much of a big deal.0 -
Nope that is a 100% genuine storyclb74 said:
Your sister had to run t her wedding dates through you.ForeverAddickted said:Does remind me when my Sister got married in 2010 though
They knew my Charlton support was going to be an issue so got from me a list of dates when Charlton were at home so they knew which games to avoid - they then of course booked the Wedding on the weekend of the Leeds United game @ the Valley ... 1-0 win when Randolph made that cracking save at the end and so kept us in touch with the automatic spots
Because they'd asked me dates and then booked on a Charlton home day I point blankly refused to attend the wedding so they were forced to move it a week - Got grief about it in the lead up to the wedding even got a snide remark in the Speeches
Have always had the last laugh though as the original day of the wedding was bloody awful in terms of weather; the day that it was moved to (Exeter away) saw beautiful sunshine, the day doesnt get mentioned anymore because when it would be brought up I'd always remind them that it was thanks to me they had the nice day
Your having a laugh.
Correction though, she didnt have to check with me, she chose to...
She then deliberately went and booked on a home game when she knew there was one so for me it she was booking on that date out of spite; had she booked her wedding with no knowledge of Charlton being at home I wouldnt have had issue
i.e. I've missed games over the last few seasons (three this year alone) due to being on my Honeymoon, and have skipped games to take my wife up to work conferences whilst I've spent the day sitting in the car so am not the "selfish monster" I was nine years ago0 -
No all the other halves are going. But all the other halves aren't Charlton fans lolForeverAddickted said:
Are you the only other half going out of her friends?CharltonLad88 said:
Season ticket holder and she has loads of friends there going. Its all her friends. I'm just the other half.Huskaris said:Are you a season ticket holder who has been going all season or just going to a couple games here and there? Not that it makes you more or less of a fan in my eyes but it would strengthen your claim to be able to go to final, it's the conclusion of what you've been going to week in week out!
Does your girlfriend have a lot of other friends there or will you be the only person she knows? If she knows a lot of people there I think that you not being there is nowhere near as much of a big deal.0 -
I've got to try not to be sexist here. And of course there are many women who are just as passionate about football as men, BUT.... Most women, whilst supportive of the passion we have in our lives do not understand it. And sadly, they never will. There is no way to avoid her being extremely cross with you for putting a silly game above a friend. Whatever you say, it will always be viewed in that context.2
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I think its the same about anyone who isnt into Football or doesnt get how it is here in England (looking at you Roland)... One mate who hates the sport watched me go mental when I saw Paul Benson had scored a late winner @ Carlisle in a 4-3 win, he still winds me up when he says its just a gameMuttleyCAFC said:I've got to try not to be sexist here. And of course there are many women who are just as passionate about football as men, BUT.... Most women, whilst supportive of the passion we have in our lives do not understand it. And sadly, they never will. There is no way to avoid her being extremely cross with you for putting a silly game above a friend. Whatever you say, it will always be viewed in that context.
End of the day he'll have his interests he's passionate about; 88's missus will have her interests, its about respecting them, especially as this isnt a family wedding we're talking about2 -
I found out (in 1987) that my sister was getting married on the same day as we played Everton (who won the league that year) away. I didn't get along with my sister (still don't), and hadn't for ten years or so, since she split from her first husband. It was our mother who told/invited me to the wedding one evening. I replied to my mum that I couldn't go, and she asked why? I said I've been to my sister's wedding before, but I've never been to Goodison Park!
Strictly, that was true, but I ended up going to the Full Member's Cup quarter final there a few weeks before the league game so by the time of the wedding, I had been to that ground. Didn't make any difference to me though! We lost 2-1 by the way...and she's still married to the same bloke!
As for your dilemna, go to Wembley. If you don't, you will harbour way too much hate!4 -
We had a Christening yesterday as well. With said friends. The Christening was at 2pm so had to miss the last 20 mins of yesterday's game also.
The other halves yesterday were all saying you've got to be there (Play off final). I didn't ask the Groom for his permission - thought that would of been taking the piss somewhat lol.2 -
I have the same predicament - except that it's my mates wedding.
I am working out if i can get to Wembley and back between speeches and the cake cutting.
I'm consoling myself that if i dont go, it'd be my luck that I'll miss the best win ever...0 -
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Go on the piss the night before and don't come home, simples
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I wouldn't worry about it until after Friday.
However, where is the wedding? Is there any way of compromising? go to the game and turn up for the evening bit of the day? Granted you'd rather be out with your mates celebrating/comiserating but by agreeing to miss that part of the day shows willing rather than a blanket 'dont fancy the wedding' I dont think any men enjoy the ceremony part of the wedding anyway and you might get there for the speeches.
doesn't really work with us and football, but neither of you are going to enjoy the wedding if you do go. You'll be preoccupied with the hump, and she's going to have the hump with you anyway for not enjoying the day knowing you'd rather be somewhere else. she should suck it up and find another plus 1!
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F@ck me you never told us that.CharltonLad88 said:We had a Christening yesterday as well. With said friends. The Christening was at 2pm so had to miss the last 20 mins of yesterday's game also.
The other halves yesterday were all saying you've got to be there (Play off final). I didn't ask the Groom for his permission - thought that would of been taking the piss somewhat lol.
You can now tell her she's taking the p!ss and your going to Wembley9 -
Wait a sec.ForeverAddickted said:
Nope that is a 100% genuine storyclb74 said:
Your sister had to run t her wedding dates through you.ForeverAddickted said:Does remind me when my Sister got married in 2010 though
They knew my Charlton support was going to be an issue so got from me a list of dates when Charlton were at home so they knew which games to avoid - they then of course booked the Wedding on the weekend of the Leeds United game @ the Valley ... 1-0 win when Randolph made that cracking save at the end and so kept us in touch with the automatic spots
Because they'd asked me dates and then booked on a Charlton home day I point blankly refused to attend the wedding so they were forced to move it a week - Got grief about it in the lead up to the wedding even got a snide remark in the Speeches
Have always had the last laugh though as the original day of the wedding was bloody awful in terms of weather; the day that it was moved to (Exeter away) saw beautiful sunshine, the day doesnt get mentioned anymore because when it would be brought up I'd always remind them that it was thanks to me they had the nice day
Your having a laugh.
Correction though, she didnt have to check with me, she chose to...
She then deliberately went and booked on a home game when she knew there was one so for me it she was booking on that date out of spite; had she booked her wedding with no knowledge of Charlton being at home I wouldnt have had issue
i.e. I've missed games over the last few seasons (three this year alone) due to being on my Honeymoon, and have skipped games to take my wife up to work conferences whilst I've spent the day sitting in the car so am not the "selfish monster" I was nine years ago
You refused to go to your sister's wedding because it clashed with a Charlton game. And yet you went on honeymoon and missed Charlton games?
Isn't that a bit... inconsistent?0 -
Very true - it is just our other halves are women for the most part. I'm sure there are football mad women who might have male partners who are not so into football. They will humour us football fans, but there will always be things, and quite a lot of them, that are more important than football. What they don't understand is that in our worlds this isn't the case.ForeverAddickted said:
I think its the same about anyone who isnt into Football or doesnt get how it is here in England (looking at you Roland)... One mate who hates the sport watched me go mental when I saw Paul Benson had scored a late winner @ Carlisle in a 4-3 win, he still winds me up when he says its just a gameMuttleyCAFC said:I've got to try not to be sexist here. And of course there are many women who are just as passionate about football as men, BUT.... Most women, whilst supportive of the passion we have in our lives do not understand it. And sadly, they never will. There is no way to avoid her being extremely cross with you for putting a silly game above a friend. Whatever you say, it will always be viewed in that context.
End of the day he'll have his interests he's passionate about; 88's missus will have her interests, its about respecting them, especially as this isnt a family wedding we're talking about0 -
luckily me and mrs were invited to a wedding the weekend of play off final but we sacked it off as it was too pricey and a lot of messing about ( wedding was in tuscany and involved car hire etc ) so am now free for the weekend.
to put it into context though it is a league 1 play off final and not a premier league one so they arent compariable even still its a chance for the reds at wembley.0 -
I have missed about 6 home games in 47 years and all have been due to weddings.
I think only 1 marriage has survived, the other 5 selfish bastards divorced.
If you're going to make me miss a game, then you can at least stay married for the duration.
Charlton make it to Wembley every 20 years or so.
The friend will most likely have another wedding before then.
Go to the game, no question, if your brave enough to take the flak.
Tell your other half, if she really loves you, she'd let you go.
PS I wouldn't even go to my own wedding, if Charlton were playing at Wembley.16 -
Me too. I guess it's because I hate my sister and love my wife.... I didn't miss many games back in the eighties, but the last twenty years or so have seen priorities change. Not having a season ticket (thanks Roland!) has made it easier to be cavalier!Chizz said:
Wait a sec.ForeverAddickted said:
Nope that is a 100% genuine storyclb74 said:
Your sister had to run t her wedding dates through you.ForeverAddickted said:Does remind me when my Sister got married in 2010 though
They knew my Charlton support was going to be an issue so got from me a list of dates when Charlton were at home so they knew which games to avoid - they then of course booked the Wedding on the weekend of the Leeds United game @ the Valley ... 1-0 win when Randolph made that cracking save at the end and so kept us in touch with the automatic spots
Because they'd asked me dates and then booked on a Charlton home day I point blankly refused to attend the wedding so they were forced to move it a week - Got grief about it in the lead up to the wedding even got a snide remark in the Speeches
Have always had the last laugh though as the original day of the wedding was bloody awful in terms of weather; the day that it was moved to (Exeter away) saw beautiful sunshine, the day doesnt get mentioned anymore because when it would be brought up I'd always remind them that it was thanks to me they had the nice day
Your having a laugh.
Correction though, she didnt have to check with me, she chose to...
She then deliberately went and booked on a home game when she knew there was one so for me it she was booking on that date out of spite; had she booked her wedding with no knowledge of Charlton being at home I wouldnt have had issue
i.e. I've missed games over the last few seasons (three this year alone) due to being on my Honeymoon, and have skipped games to take my wife up to work conferences whilst I've spent the day sitting in the car so am not the "selfish monster" I was nine years ago
You refused to go to your sister's wedding because it clashed with a Charlton game. And yet you went on honeymoon and missed Charlton games?
Isn't that a bit... inconsistent?0 -
What did the groom think of u being on the honeymoon ?1
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Game changer. If we get to the final then you're sacking the wedding off.CharltonLad88 said:We had a Christening yesterday as well. With said friends. The Christening was at 2pm so had to miss the last 20 mins of yesterday's game also.
The other halves yesterday were all saying you've got to be there (Play off final). I didn't ask the Groom for his permission - thought that would of been taking the piss somewhat lol.
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