As the title says, how do you meet new friends in your 30s?
Had a few people mention how they meet new friends at work but having been in my current job for less than a year (with most of that being at home), I haven’t had any success in that department. In the past I’ve been to the odd away game by myself but don’t get talking to anyone as I am more of an east stand fan rather than a covered end fan, I’m sure most/all of you understand that reference!
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I mean, when I used to work I had work friends who I spoke to at work but never saw outside of work.
Then obviously there is the odd 1 or 2 people I speak to now who I would call a friend.
But seriously i have like 7 names in my contacts on my phone 4 of which are family.
I talk to one other person from here on WhatsApp @ForeverAddickted
And thats about it really I never socialise with anyone
These days the world is so "connected" in many respects , but it seems to me people have possibly never felt more lonely than they are now. That's not to say that people generally have less friends than they did in the past, but with social media being what it is (all those followers and likes) it seems the pressure is there to have lots and lots of friends and want more - the more you have the better person you are, rather than just focusing on the people you do know.
I do think people are slowly losing the ability to engage on a face to face and personal level, which is ultimately where deep friendships are cemented.
And then along came Covid, where we are now actively encouraged and told to mix and socialise less than before.
I can see how it's tough for some.
I don't think there is a magic answer to this. Try a sport, martial art or social event that interests you thats a good way to meet like minded people.
https://www.writechoice.co.in/writechoice/left-slanted-handwriting/
I tried fencing (swords not planks) recently and it had quite a good social, although I didn't try it for long after pulling a calf muscle in warm up and doing a class from a chair, martial arts too altho the group is a bit small and not that social.
I did an evening class years back and met people this way, one bloke decent fella good drinker a fireman as I recall, then I got to know his sister 'quite' well, and erm that didn't work out - got a bit awkward and we stopped being friends for some reason after that.. So there's how to quickly make, and lose friends (not a patch on Ketman's love life..).
Another time, we met a couple on holiday in Egypt, got on well and went on a holiday with them to Croatia, always good when your kids all get on so the adults can chill with a book.
My missus tried to help their daughter get a job, the daughter was useless and it backfired, they stopped being our friends... I often remind my missus about mixing business with friendships, but she never listens of course.
If you have an interest/passion find the right, sociable club to join.
Golf clubs (obviously need the £), are good too as they organise socials, competitions etc so you get to meet plenty of people.
Also, depending on personal circumstance (and maybe post-Covid) there are some interesting alternative rental accommodation providers, co-living space by the likes of "The Collective", "The Stay Club" and "tipi" or if you are buying then someone like "Pocket Living" where your flat will be small but in a block sold to other first time buyers who live or work in the same borough so more likely to be sociable places to live with like aged and minded people...
Not too sure what I'm trying to say, I personally have met most of the people on my contact list through CAFC or public houses.
Suppose I'm trying to say that work, football, pubs.
I'll go away now.
17 years ago we tried to address this problem and started cruising, we had great time, chatting etc with other couples for the duration of the holiday, but failed to convert these into friends, and we are stuck at the exchanging Christmas cards stage, which with some we still do.
Now retirement is looming. We are having another go, we have discussed this in detail, I’m thinking of giving bowls a go, perhaps a long cruise of around 60 nights or even 140 nights as we proved we can spend that long in each other’s company (problem here is that we have spoilt ourselves and will only cruise on an American cruise line we’re 90% of passengers are American and to hear an English voice is still fairly rare), during the cruise it’s my intention to try some form of art which if I enjoy it I would follow it with night school or similar in the UK, that’s the long term plan for me. The wife hasn’t got a clue what to do, so I’ve suggested volunteer work in a shop, but she reckons that’s impossible to get into, and any idea I got for her she’s pooh poo’s.
The football game I play on the heath each week was listed on there (I started playing years before that) and a lot of people joined specifically for the reason of meeting new people. 90 minute game and then a load go to the Princess of Wales.
There are hundreds of other things on there though, sport is by no means the biggest category.
A personal tip though for people meeting new people and trying to make friends. Don't force it and don't be too keen. Much like finding a lover, you will know when you "click" and it's time to slink off for a kebab a night bus.
I'm not someone looking to make new friends at all, but have made 3 good ones through there in just a couple of years and everyone is a nice acquaintance. The people who have turned up desperate for a mate end up scaring people a lot of the time.
Come along and say hi, I'll introduce to some people.
Joining a club where like minded people share your interest is a good avenue.
But did make me laugh.
I have over 200 contacts on my phone.
I must know at least 40 or 50 Charlton fan's from way back who I consider my best friends and we still meet up at most Charlton games.
Plus as I've lived in the same area for most of my life I have plenty of friends local to where I live.
Plus still keep in touch with loads of old workmates from the fire brigade.
On top of that I have met at least 50 people from Charlton life.
So all in all I concider myself to be very fortunate.