Thanks everyone, in hospital now with covid. Presume she caught it on a trip to have MRI scans, next 2/3 days are quite critical in her coming home again. Not seen her now, for 4 weeks due to working away and all of us also having covid. Just desperately hope I get to see her again.
Great news to hear about everyone who is coming out the other side of this horrible situation, and a big man hug to Shine166 - we're all behind you mate.
Life's really quite a struggle atm, we've all had covid as previously mentioned.. my mum made it back home but still tests positive. She's has nausea every day and is struggling to eat, she's putting this down to the covid, but im sure it's due to the severity of her liver cancer.
Every time I try to make plans to see her, it's 'let's see how I feel' and... at least il feel better for Xmas. The reality is, she's never going to feel better again.. I'm scared il never see her again too, as its been a month now since the newest update and we've all been unwell with covid so kept away. Right now, her making Xmas seems impossible.
Also, does anyone have experience explaining this kind of loss, to a nearly 4 year old ? His autism makes anything relating to emotions, really hard to get across.
Sorry for the rambling and probable spelling issues, I just feel mentally broken atm.
Life's really quite a struggle atm, we've all had covid as previously mentioned.. my mum made it back home but still tests positive. She's has nausea every day and is struggling to eat, she's putting this down to the covid, but im sure it's due to the severity of her liver cancer.
Every time I try to make plans to see her, it's 'let's see how I feel' and... at least il feel better for Xmas. The reality is, she's never going to feel better again.. I'm scared il never see her again too, as its been a month now since the newest update and we've all been unwell with covid so kept away. Right now, her making Xmas seems impossible.
Also, does anyone have experience explaining this kind of loss, to a nearly 4 year old ? His autism makes anything relating to emotions, really hard to get across.
Sorry for the rambling and probable spelling issues, I just feel mentally broken atm.
Feel for you mate, awful situation. My dad died of cancer when my daughter was 3 and he was he number 1. We’d said to her that he was very ill beforehand (difficult to hide when he spent his last 6 months in a hospital bed at home) but was very difficult when he passed. She wasn’t too upset at the time but it did affect her later on. My advice would be as honest as you can with your son.
Life's really quite a struggle atm, we've all had covid as previously mentioned.. my mum made it back home but still tests positive. She's has nausea every day and is struggling to eat, she's putting this down to the covid, but im sure it's due to the severity of her liver cancer.
Every time I try to make plans to see her, it's 'let's see how I feel' and... at least il feel better for Xmas. The reality is, she's never going to feel better again.. I'm scared il never see her again too, as its been a month now since the newest update and we've all been unwell with covid so kept away. Right now, her making Xmas seems impossible.
Also, does anyone have experience explaining this kind of loss, to a nearly 4 year old ? His autism makes anything relating to emotions, really hard to get across.
Sorry for the rambling and probable spelling issues, I just feel mentally broken atm.
You have my deepest sympathy shine, cancer is a terrible disease. My mother died of pancreatic cancer at 70 and left a huge void. After diagnosis at 68, she subconsciously must have made a goal of celebrating her 70th in style, which she managed to do. But she deteriorated quickly soon after.
As for children, I don't have much wisdom except to say that I took my youngest son to see her a few days before she died: she had wasted away significantly but was moved by seeing her grandson. However, he was 5 years old at the time and too young to handle the situation. To this day 7 years later, I'm still not sure if I should have taken him.
Really not trying to make this the 'me' thread. My mums been in and hospital a few times the last month... covid twice and other issues. Unfortunately its spreading like wildfire, latest update is 4 weeks. Her 6 months, has turned into 2. She's doped up on Fentanyl and ora morph now, I'm glad she won't suffer for too long.
Really not trying to make this the 'me' thread. My mums been in and hospital a few times the last month... covid twice and other issues. Unfortunately its spreading like wildfire, latest update is 4 weeks. Her 6 months, has turned into 2. She's doped up on Fentanyl and ora morph now, I'm glad she won't suffer for too long.
Really heartened to read the stories of Lifers' successes at battling this horrible disease. Long may that continue until such time as they win the war.
The flip side of that is, of course, your Mum's desperate situation. My wife's twin brother, Colin, had a sadly similar journey - diagnosed, chemo, operation, given all clear, returned within six months and passed away 18 months ago at the age of 57 - some three months after he was given up to a year. He and his wife had been childhood sweethearts and together for over 40 years. They did everything together so naturally she still struggles on a daily basis to cope with the void in her life especially during the evenings. Their two grown up daughters have left the nest too so she is, very much, living on her own.
A few things to pass on from the experience and how everyone dealt with it. It was really important for Colin to know that he had done everything he could to prepare the family for the inevitable and for him to know that the service was going to be as he would like it to be - so reinforcing that and sticking as close to those wishes were equally important to the family - "that's what Colin would have wanted" became a well worn phrase. These were really tough conversations for the family to have and not ones that you or your Mum might want to have but, if she does, then "embracing", as much as you can in such circumstances and assuming your Mum is able to have them, those discussions will help you both.
Colin has two grandchildren who were two and five at the time of his passing. All the family could do was to prepare the kids for what was going to happen and to empahsise to them that he was going to a place where he would be feeling much better and that he would always be looking down on them. The two year old was too young to appreciate what was really going on but the five year old was used to seeing Colin, throughout her life, three or four times a week, so the decision was made to allow that to carry on throughout- one because it helped Colin but more so because his obvious deterioration was not going to be such a shock to her as much as if she hadn't seen him for weeks. After the funeral and back at the family home the kids released balloons with messages from them to Colin.
There really are no winners in this situation. By the time Colin left us, my wife had lost, in a space of less than two years, not just her twin brother but her Mum and Dad too - with two of them passing during Covid and all the visiting issues that presented. All you can do is the best for your Mum, to tailor your efforts to her needs and to treasure the memories. I wish you all the very best in that respect and for the time you have left together.
Don't think it would occur to anyone that this might be becoming the shine thread. Thank you for sharing this devastating news. I can only give you, your mum and the family my very best wishes and hope you find the strength to get through the next months together. I hope that her remaining days are as comfortable as they can be. At least she has her family around her.
Really not trying to make this the 'me' thread. My mums been in and hospital a few times the last month... covid twice and other issues. Unfortunately its spreading like wildfire, latest update is 4 weeks. Her 6 months, has turned into 2. She's doped up on Fentanyl and ora morph now, I'm glad she won't suffer for too long.
Shine, mate, it's what the thread's here for. I'm really sorry to hear her prognosis has taken a turn for the worse, and I hope whatever time she has left is as pain-free as possible.
Had my six month CT scan a couple of weeks ago after my operation to remove a tumour , my pancreas and my spleen and the the initial results were mildly suspicious. Had a PET scan on Tuesday which highlights if the cancer has returned and tonight I got the results - it’s all clear ! Now I can breath again and enjoy Christmas 😅
Had my six month CT scan a couple of weeks ago after my operation to remove a tumour , my pancreas and my spleen and the the initial results were mildly suspicious. Had a PET scan on Tuesday which highlights if the cancer has returned and tonight I got the results - it’s all clear ! Now I can breath again and enjoy Christmas 😅
Had my six month CT scan a couple of weeks ago after my operation to remove a tumour , my pancreas and my spleen and the the initial results were mildly suspicious. Had a PET scan on Tuesday which highlights if the cancer has returned and tonight I got the results - it’s all clear ! Now I can breath again and enjoy Christmas 😅
Cracking news Bed's. Must be a huge weight off your mind and of course clears the way for the Xmas movie thread - your time to shine!
Had my six month CT scan a couple of weeks ago after my operation to remove a tumour , my pancreas and my spleen and the the initial results were mildly suspicious. Had a PET scan on Tuesday which highlights if the cancer has returned and tonight I got the results - it’s all clear ! Now I can breath again and enjoy Christmas 😅
Cracking news Bed's. Must be a huge weight off your mind and of course clears the way for the Xmas movie thread - your time to shine!
A massive weight off my mind ! Don’t worry the Christmas movie thread will be back soon 🎄
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Every time I try to make plans to see her, it's 'let's see how I feel' and... at least il feel better for Xmas. The reality is, she's never going to feel better again.. I'm scared il never see her again too, as its been a month now since the newest update and we've all been unwell with covid so kept away. Right now, her making Xmas seems impossible.
Also, does anyone have experience explaining this kind of loss, to a nearly 4 year old ? His autism makes anything relating to emotions, really hard to get across.
Sorry for the rambling and probable spelling issues, I just feel mentally broken atm.
As for children, I don't have much wisdom except to say that I took my youngest son to see her a few days before she died: she had wasted away significantly but was moved by seeing her grandson. However, he was 5 years old at the time and too young to handle the situation. To this day 7 years later, I'm still not sure if I should have taken him.
Really heartened to read the stories of Lifers' successes at battling this horrible disease. Long may that continue until such time as they win the war.
The flip side of that is, of course, your Mum's desperate situation. My wife's twin brother, Colin, had a sadly similar journey - diagnosed, chemo, operation, given all clear, returned within six months and passed away 18 months ago at the age of 57 - some three months after he was given up to a year. He and his wife had been childhood sweethearts and together for over 40 years. They did everything together so naturally she still struggles on a daily basis to cope with the void in her life especially during the evenings. Their two grown up daughters have left the nest too so she is, very much, living on her own.
A few things to pass on from the experience and how everyone dealt with it. It was really important for Colin to know that he had done everything he could to prepare the family for the inevitable and for him to know that the service was going to be as he would like it to be - so reinforcing that and sticking as close to those wishes were equally important to the family - "that's what Colin would have wanted" became a well worn phrase. These were really tough conversations for the family to have and not ones that you or your Mum might want to have but, if she does, then "embracing", as much as you can in such circumstances and assuming your Mum is able to have them, those discussions will help you both.
Colin has two grandchildren who were two and five at the time of his passing. All the family could do was to prepare the kids for what was going to happen and to empahsise to them that he was going to a place where he would be feeling much better and that he would always be looking down on them. The two year old was too young to appreciate what was really going on but the five year old was used to seeing Colin, throughout her life, three or four times a week, so the decision was made to allow that to carry on throughout- one because it helped Colin but more so because his obvious deterioration was not going to be such a shock to her as much as if she hadn't seen him for weeks. After the funeral and back at the family home the kids released balloons with messages from them to Colin.
There really are no winners in this situation. By the time Colin left us, my wife had lost, in a space of less than two years, not just her twin brother but her Mum and Dad too - with two of them passing during Covid and all the visiting issues that presented. All you can do is the best for your Mum, to tailor your efforts to her needs and to treasure the memories. I wish you all the very best in that respect and for the time you have left together.
Thank you for sharing this devastating news.
I can only give you, your mum and the family my very best wishes and hope you find the strength to get through the next months together. I hope that her remaining days are as comfortable as they can be. At least she has her family around her.
Not for the first time, our hearts go out to you, your dear Mum & the family.
Thinking of you all at this devastating time, with love.
Had a PET scan on Tuesday which highlights if the cancer has returned and tonight I got the results - it’s all clear !
Now I can breath again and enjoy Christmas 😅
Don’t worry the Christmas movie thread will be back soon 🎄