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Basic skills that you are rubbish at

2

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  • Typnig!

    Oh and according to my wife.....Listening. Surely not
  • Mrs McMoist says I'm rubbish at the following...

    Making the bed
    Pegging out washing
    Having a wee without making a mess
    Gardening
    Shagging
    Eating without dribbling or dropping food down my shirt
    Bringing the Tea up in the morning without spilling it on the stairs
    Putting on the washing machine
    Loading the dishwasher

    However, Mrs McMoist says I'm brilliant at the following...

    Making her Happy (Though god knows how in view of the above list)
    Mixing a perfect Vodka and Tonic
    BBQing
    Kissing
  • edited July 2007
    Don't be too disheartened. At least 4 of your "rubbish" things should only be done by women anyway - and as you know ALL of us blokes go to "how to make a mess when you wee" school in the womb!
  • Sky diving
  • I wish I could throw further. And my teeth don't meet at the front when I bite so I can't bite sellotape. You'd be amazed how much you miss it when you can't do it.
  • anything left-handed.
  • [cite]Posted By: ThreadKiller[/cite]anything left-handed.


    ah now you're talking.

    My missus says because I am left handed Ican't cut bread properly because I aM cack handed. Whilst it pisses me off I have to agree.

    Us lefties are not good at those sort of things but we are much more adept at other things.

    All lefties say AYE LOL
  • My wife is left handed and she can't cut bread to save her life. Always cuts it wonkily so you end up with a wedge of bread rather than a slice.
  • Ah, i'm a leftie. Which means i am completely incapable of using scissors.....
  • [cite]Posted By: Off_it[/cite]Last year I forgot how to do up a tie. I'd been doing one up every day for years and years and then I suddenly forgot.

    When I got into work I had to go on the internet to find out how to do it and basically teach myself over again. I thought it would be a temporary thing but it took me about two weeks to finally get it down to where I didn't have to think about it too much, but even now it still doesn't "feel" right when I'm doing it - or look right for that matter.

    Now how weird is that?!

    Is that true Off-It or are you pissing around? Really weird if it is. I sometimes have a complete mental block on spelling a word that I must have spelled correctly without thinking literally thousands of times before. No matter how much I change it and look at it it just doesn't look right.

    I'm absolutely terrible at DIY. Don't really understand why, I'm a fairly bright lad, have always been a good footballer and cricketer so my eye hand co-ordination is fine yet I can't screw a cupboard door on. Spent a whole bank holiday weekend once just changing over the kitchen unit doors - couldn't believe what a mess I was making of it and even when I finally finished it was a shoddy job and a couple of them fell off within a couple of weeks. Have never touched DIY since - just pay for a professional to do it - it's just not worth the effort!
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  • Falling asleep. Can't do it properly unless I am shit faced. Well that's my excuse anyway...
  • falling asleep - so true. takes me a minimum hour to go asleep at night, sometimes up to three hours. very frustrating.

    writing it also something i struggle with. My handwriting resembles a six year old and a pen feels completely unnatural in my hand.
  • Cutting toenails as I can't reach to bite them anymore.

    Can't see any problem falling asleep, if I'm stationary for more than a few minutes with nothing to do I'll happily doze off.

    Cutting tiles seems beyond me too, I'm good at most DIY things but cutting tiles which is really simple just seems like climbing Everest for some reason.
  • [cite]Posted By: Carter[/cite]Cutting toenails as I can't reach to bite them anymore.

    you filthbag - seriously - biting toenails how gross
  • Fear not, I haven't been able to do that for about ten years. I used to get my missus to do them for me but now she's gone I struggle on my own.

    Don't know why as it is a very basic task.
  • [cite]Posted By: Ledge Knows[/cite]
    [cite]Posted By: Carter[/cite]Cutting toenails as I can't reach to bite them anymore.

    you filthbag - seriously - biting toenails how gross

    Ledge mate seriously you are having a pop at someone who posted his own arse on here earleir this week :-)
  • edited July 2007
    Just out of interest. Is anybody on here actually flexible enough to be able to do this. Not to do it obviously as that is minging ;-)
  • i can, quite easily. i'm a skinny git though
  • I had a mate who is in america now who could suck his own **** whilst in the bath...!
  • [cite]Posted By: Ketman[/cite]I had a mate who is in america now who could suck his own **** whilst in the bath...!

    At the Gills game I'll tell you a story about someone who tried to do that. Not sure if it's worse than the Mars bar story or not.
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  • 'I used to get my missus to do them for me but now she's gone I struggle on my own.'

    ***

    No offence mate, but i'm not suprised she left if you made her bite your toenails off. What kind of sicko are you !!

    :-)
  • [cite]Posted By: Carter[/cite]
    [cite]Posted By: Ketman[/cite]I had a mate who is in america now who could suck his own **** whilst in the bath...!

    Any particular reason why it only worked when in the bath ??
  • Christ anyone who can suck their own ding dong must have a neck like a swan.
  • [cite]Posted By: AFKA Bartram[/cite]
    [cite]Posted By: Carter[/cite]
    [cite]Posted By: Ketman[/cite]I had a mate who is in america now who could suck his own **** whilst in the bath...!

    Any particular reason why it only worked when in the bath ??

    Not sure, might be something to do with the hot water & soap thing I think try not to find out too much detail on stories like this.
  • Hot water and SOAP?!?!

    Was the word you covered with stars actually arse then????


    [cite]Posted By: AFKA Bartram[/cite]'I used to get my missus to do them for me but now she's gone I struggle on my own.'

    ***

    No offence mate, but i'm not suprised she left if you made her bite your toenails off. What kind of sicko are you !!

    :-)

    I couldn't see the problem myself. Tasted fine to me
  • [cite]Posted By: Bexleyheath_Red[/cite]Christ anyone who can suck their own ding dong must have a neck like a swan.

    wouldnt it feel slightly gay as well?
  • edited July 2007
    Not if you didn't tell anyone!!
  • Eeeeeewww. Willies (even my own) and my mouth just dont go together...........
  • [cite]Posted By: Charlton Dan[/cite]Eeeeeewww. Willies (even my own) and my mouth just dont go together...........

    I should dearly hope not too!
  • [cite]Posted By: Carter[/cite]
    [cite]Posted By: Charlton Dan[/cite]Eeeeeewww. Willies (even my own) and my mouth just dont go together...........

    I should dearly hope not too!

    You can talk....I saw you flirting with my old man
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