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Missed opportunities/ regrets

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  • My biggest regret.

    Not being born in 1970. Would have been able to buy a house for nothing, live through highest asset growth in history, best public services provision in history, most generous pensions, with my career and the most basic money management I would have been able to retire by 40 and focus on family and hobbies. 

    Instead I was born in 95 and I'll be stuck working till I die basically. 

    ;) 
    The 70's was overrated , all bin bags and candlelight   
  • MrOneLung said:
    Jessie said:
    Pet Shop Boys, Muse and Hard-Fi have all played in Shanghai in the past. I didn't go. They will probably never come again, especially Pet Shop Boys for reasons I can't mention on a public forum...
    Don't worry Jessie, Hard-Fi are one of the worst bands I have ever seen live. No idea how much work they had to do to get his voice to sound ok on a record, as he had an awful voice live.
    Jessie said:
    Pet Shop Boys, Muse and Hard-Fi have all played in Shanghai in the past. I didn't go. They will probably never come again, especially Pet Shop Boys for reasons I can't mention on a public forum...
    Love Hard Fi Jesse. Saw them at Brixton years ago and was a brilliant gig.

    Stars of CCTV is one of the few albums (like Killers Hot Fuss) where every song is great.
    Yes I do know Richard Archer sounds bad live🤣 Many years ago I uploaded a video of their performance on Later with Jools Holland on YouTube and many people commented on Archer's awful voice.😂 I have the Japanese release of Stars of CCTV which contains a DVD of their live show at the Astoria. I really loved it despite Archer not being a good singer live. I thought the atmosphere was great.
  • Jessie said:
    Pet Shop Boys, Muse and Hard-Fi have all played in Shanghai in the past. I didn't go. They will probably never come again, especially Pet Shop Boys for reasons I can't mention on a public forum...
    Love Hard Fi Jesse. Saw them at Brixton years ago and was a brilliant gig.

    Stars of CCTV is one of the few albums (like Killers Hot Fuss) where every song is great.
    I went to see Hard Fi at Brixton - must have been around 2005 or 2006 - Paul Weller joined them on stage and they did (I think) Town Called Malice with him - great gig, but yes his vocals were shocking - their debut album is superb, still listen to it a lot now - subsequent output has been poor though 
  • Jessie said:
    Pet Shop Boys, Muse and Hard-Fi have all played in Shanghai in the past. I didn't go. They will probably never come again, especially Pet Shop Boys for reasons I can't mention on a public forum...
    Love Hard Fi Jesse. Saw them at Brixton years ago and was a brilliant gig.

    Stars of CCTV is one of the few albums (like Killers Hot Fuss) where every song is great.
    I went to see Hard Fi at Brixton - must have been around 2005 or 2006 - Paul Weller joined them on stage and they did (I think) Town Called Malice with him - great gig, but yes his vocals were shocking - their debut album is superb, still listen to it a lot now - subsequent output has been poor though 
    Stars of CCTV was and still is a banger. I know a lot of people turn their nose up at Hard-Fi and the Twang but their lyrics especially on both of their first albums were so relatable. 

    Living for the weekend 
    Cash machine 
    Stars of CCTV 

    All could have been written about loads of our existences around 2004/5 

    Wide Awake is the best song about the day after the night before, generally a Saturday, head like a drill, regret about your own behaviour but having to kick on and get through Coventry away 

    The Enemy had a good go as well with their first album but I found it a little bit theatrical, still love them mind you 
  • Mate came to me with the exact same idea as uber a few years before it was a thing. I told him it'd never work. Granted we would never have had the capabilities to actually set it up but he has never forgiven me.
  • Carter said:
    Jessie said:
    Pet Shop Boys, Muse and Hard-Fi have all played in Shanghai in the past. I didn't go. They will probably never come again, especially Pet Shop Boys for reasons I can't mention on a public forum...
    Love Hard Fi Jesse. Saw them at Brixton years ago and was a brilliant gig.

    Stars of CCTV is one of the few albums (like Killers Hot Fuss) where every song is great.
    I went to see Hard Fi at Brixton - must have been around 2005 or 2006 - Paul Weller joined them on stage and they did (I think) Town Called Malice with him - great gig, but yes his vocals were shocking - their debut album is superb, still listen to it a lot now - subsequent output has been poor though 
    Stars of CCTV was and still is a banger. I know a lot of people turn their nose up at Hard-Fi and the Twang but their lyrics especially on both of their first albums were so relatable. 

    Living for the weekend 
    Cash machine 
    Stars of CCTV 


    Living for the weekend summed up my dead end job suburban existence of the time of getting obliterated in places The Venue in moody Lacoste Polo's and doing a fortnight's wages on a night out then waking up somewhere dealing with the consequences for the rest of the month which then lead nicely ( or not so nicely) into the cash machine reality.

  • JohnBoyUK said:
    Sorry for going a bit serious with this one, but mine is going home to sleep the night before my Mum died in Bexley Hospice.

    We knew she wasn’t going to last much longer and the nurses said they would call if the end was near.

    My dad (understandably) totally melted down and couldn’t cope and had to get out of there. I was sitting with my mum and wanted to sleep in the chair next to the bed. He wouldn’t have it and we ended up having a frayed and stressed row in reception before he pretty much dragged my arse back home. Leaving mum asleep at the hospice.

    lying at home that night I just knew I should have held my ground.

    Phone rang at 6am. Mum had died and it happened very quickly. And she was alone.

    I have never forgiven myself or got over it.

    Always trust your gut and never ever forget to tell your parents you love them.
    Damo, I think I've said this on here before but my Father-in-law was a very private man and he was hanging on and hanging on and he waited until my brother-in-law had taken my mother-in-law out for a coffee, and my wife was left in charge and she'd gone to answer the doorbell to one of the nurses.  The only 30 seconds he was left totally unattended in about 5 months since he was diagnosed with his brain tumour and he'd gone and done it in his way.  In private.

    Your Mum very likely hung on until you'd all left to give her some privacy.  Please dont beat yourself up any more.  Remember the good times and the good stuff.
    My mum did the same. Dad sat with her all morning, told her he was nipping out to get a newspaper. She checked out while he was gone.

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  • Swisdom said:
    Massive one for me

    I was playing youth team football at Charlton alongside Jamie Stuart, Lee Bowyer and Jason Tindall.  I had been with them for a few months but only played a couple of matches as I was second choice goalkeeper to a guy called Dean Lee - who was decent tbf
    Anyway one Saturday we were playing Arsenal away and we were 2-0 up at half time.  The manager (the great John Cartwright) decided it was time for me to get some minutes so he told me to get warmed up.  I had a tight groin which I had aggravated in the warm up so I told him I wasn't fitto play.  So I stayed on the bench and we went on to win the game.

    That afternoon I went to watch my Sunday team play.  They didn't have another goalie and we were playing the league leaders so I agreed to play but I would have to kick using my left foot and obviously couldn't run much (not that this was my forte anyway)
    We lost the game heavily but I had an absolute blinder and was really busy all game.  Sadly there was a Charlton scout there and he put my name forward to the club as someone worth looking at.

    I turned up to Charlton training the following Tuesday, trained hard and was then called in at the end of the session to be told "You've got potential for Division 3 or 4 but we are looking for Division 1 or 2 so we are letting you go.  We also don't think you have the right attitude"  Basically they thought I had blagged being injured.  I was absolutely devastated and that was the end of my dream.

    I'll never forget that evening for as long as I live.  My sliding doors moment.
    Similar to one of my mates. Was on Charlton's books around 1985 as 14/15 year old, and  turned out for a first half for his old mans Sunday team when they were short one week. Promptly broke his leg.
    Charlton let him go because of it but think they did let him rehab with them
  • I'm honestly not sure if I regret this or not. I change my view depending on my mood. Just over 2 years ago, my mum was diagnosed with terminal cancer. She explicitly told us that she did not want us to tell our kids (7 & 9 at the time) about it and she just wanted to carry on for as long as possible. They knew she was ill but not that it was terminal. We eventually told them after she went into a hospice but she only lasted 3 days after that and was out of it on morphine for one of those days. So the kids only got to see her a couple of times after they found out and when she was still 'with it'. It was what mum wanted but I do wonder if the kids would have wanted to do anything different if they had known she was dying. 
  • Not necessarily a missed opportunity, because I managed to pull it back together again. When I started uni I was working in job also that ended up not being very nice. I prioritised however it over my uni work and was at uni basically for this job, when I should have got a better balance between that, uni work and going out.

    The job ended badly and I also had a fling with a girl at the time for a few months, and when that ended I didn't take to it well. I went out a lot, way too much doing stupid things on nights out when drunk. 

    I hated the way I was back then and it affected my uni work as a result for the first year and also first half of 2nd yr. Now I would have a much stronger mentality to deal with it, although the events of it still frustrate me to this day. 

    I managed to get through it and achieved what I wanted in my history degree, but I probably wished I was like the person I am now back then.
  • Rizzo said:
    Dating my mate's sister. Only lasted about 4 months but ruined a 10 year friendship. 
    I missed the word mate first time and thought you dated your 10 year old sister!!!!
  • But really it's crypto for me. 

    Had an in depth conversation with a mate about crypto when we were in 6th form in 2012. Then like now I didn't trust it as it isn't based on anything real not backed or regulated. His argument was it doesn't matter if it is gonna be long term and the claims about replacing conventional money are all false but it will still take off as an investment even if its not regulated. He mined some (somehow) and bought a chunk, I didn't. 

    He sold when it all took off and has lived off what he made for the last few years. If I had matched him I'd be set for life.

    Same. Was told about it by a colleague back in 2010. Her boyfriend had started buying it.
  • When I was 15 we come back from an away game and as per norm our crowd decided to have one in The Oasthouse at London Bridge station before getting our different lines home. The was an old Scottish drunk in there with snot running down his nose that took a shine to our group and me in particular.

    All of a sudden he tries to give me a carrier bag, it was stuffed full of Scottish notes. Thousands upon thousands of quid (bear in mind this was about 1991). We got a bit spooked, I got talked out of it by @Swerve and a few other sensible heads that something was majorly off and we ended up scarpering. But always wondered what would have happened if I’d taken that bag. 
    Good grief, I hadn't recalled that for probably 30 years! Probably wise though, one Scottish ten pound note is hard enough to shift ;-)
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  • Not so much a regret more like a near miss but a guy i used to work with was a well scouted youth player in the north of England. He had a few trials arranged and then was offered one by a scout butbit would involve him staying overnight so the scout could drive them early in the morning. Long story short it was lnt feasible so turned it down.


    The scout was Barry Bennell.
  • Rizzo said:
    I'm honestly not sure if I regret this or not. I change my view depending on my mood. Just over 2 years ago, my mum was diagnosed with terminal cancer. She explicitly told us that she did not want us to tell our kids (7 & 9 at the time) about it and she just wanted to carry on for as long as possible. They knew she was ill but not that it was terminal. We eventually told them after she went into a hospice but she only lasted 3 days after that and was out of it on morphine for one of those days. So the kids only got to see her a couple of times after they found out and when she was still 'with it'. It was what mum wanted but I do wonder if the kids would have wanted to do anything different if they had known she was dying. 
    Ask them Rizzo…..maybe?
  • edited March 23
    Had the choice of supporting Chelsea or Charlton, the latter I thought would win many cups and league titles. 
    There's probably a universe were that happened, Roman Abramovitch fell foul of the FSB and Chelsea are languishing in the National League South.
  • Not joining the Royal Marines at the earliest opportunity.
  • Wanted to join the British Army - in particular become a Para - my Dad, who served in the British Army in the REME, talked me out of it - his view being there are not many jobs post army for a bloke trained to fight battles - he said if you join up, join a branch of the army where you learn a trade e.g. REME, Signals, Engineers etc so you are employable post army - and yes he was right

    My stance was ‘sod that, I want to run about firing a gun / jumping out of aeroplanes, and be mega tough nut hard’ 

    If I had done a bit of research, then I would have found out (the teenage me, mid 1980’s) that you can join up with REME or Signals, and then join the Para’s - so best of both worlds 😡

    I ended up working for a bank, joined 1987, still working for same bank, been a bank manager since 2004 

    After all these years, I still wish I had joined the army - hey ho 
    You could have died somewhere like Belfast, Iraq, Kabul, so look on the bright side.
  • Gribbo said:
    ...... oh and not taking the offer of a threesome (2 birds and me) up from an ex I had a short lived thing with.

    Em from Bermondsey, if you're reading this - there's been a few transactions from the w*** bank over the last 18 odd years from that one entry alone, maybe more than the rest put together, so thanks for that at least x
    ……and they say Romance is dead. 
  • Gribbo said:
    ...... oh and not taking the offer of a threesome (2 birds and me) up from an ex I had a short lived thing with.

    Em from Bermondsey, if you're reading this - there's been a few transactions from the w*** bank over the last 18 odd years from that one entry alone, maybe more than the rest put together, so thanks for that at least x
    Probably a little too much information.  :o
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