Unusual Insults and Put Downs

Hal1x

arny23394 said:

MrOneLung said:

My 11 year old in his under 12’s match the other week. He is centre back, they were defending a corner and all of a sudden could just hear him shout “ bruh, I ain’t your fucking boyfriend, if you wanna keep touching me you gotta take me on a date” 

didn’t know whether to be proud or aghast 

Unless he’s an American rapper, he needs grounding until at least 30 for saying “bruh”

excuse me sir, kindly unhand me!

Chizz

CatAddick said:

One that cropped up in a 1-1 meeting I just had with one of my team..

"Too many 'B' Ark people are involved in defining this process"

That is brilliant!

Gribbo

Solidgone said:

Lady Asnor to Churchill “you are drunk sir”

Churchill: you are ugly but I’ll be sober in the morning!

Don't mean to be pedantic Sols mate, but I think that was Bessie Braddock.

Lady Astor said - "Winston, if you were my husband, I'd poison your tea. To which Churchill said - "Nancy, if I were your husband, I'd drink it."

Only know this because I'm sitting in my local; The Grasshopper On The Green, and they've got Winston quotes all over the wall. 🇬🇧

AFKABartram

Leroy Ambrose referred to someone recently as ‘an absolute paint brush’ and that really made me chuckle in it’s simplicity 

Solidgone

Gribbo said:

Solidgone said:

Lady Asnor to Churchill “you are drunk sir”

Churchill: you are ugly but I’ll be sober in the morning!

Don't mean to be pedantic Sols mate, but I think that was Bessie Braddock.

Lady Astor said - "Winston, if you were my husband, I'd poison your tea. To which Churchill said - "Nancy, if I were your husband, I'd drink it."

Only know this because I'm sitting in my local; The Grasshopper On The Green, and they've got Winston quotes all over the wall. 🇬🇧

I think the quote is more important. 🤓

AddicksAddict

Solidgone said:

Lady Asnor to Churchill “you are drunk sir”

Churchill: you are ugly but I’ll be sober in the morning!

George Bernard Shaw sent Churchill two tickets for the opening night of his new play along with a note saying “bring a friend if you have one“.

Churchill sent a note in reply “can’t make opening night will make the second if you have it”

thenewbie

Well its simple and to the point but "Mr Idiot" surely deserves its time on this thread...

Stig

When compliments turn into insults: 'you don't sweat much for a fat girl'.

Chizz

NSFW 

The Thick Of It is perhaps the greatest ever production facility of insults and put-downs in the English language.  Here are some of my favourites.  

You look like a Quentin Blake illustration.
He's about as much use as a marzipan dildo.
You’re so dense, light bends around you.
He’s as much use as a fart in a jam jar.
You are a human bullhorn of hot, self-pitying air.
You’re like a sweaty octopus trying to unhook a bra.
He’s like a Quentin Tarantino version of the Honey Monster.
He’s a snooty, stuck-up snob. And I’m not saying he’s elitist, but his butler is more left-wing than he is. 

And, of course... 

Come the fuck in or fuck the fuck off. 

It’s like watching a lion rape a sheep… but in a bad way.
You are a fucking car crash, in a clown car, on fire, in the middle of fucking nowhere. 

Gribbo

Solidgone said:

Gribbo said:

Solidgone said:

Lady Asnor to Churchill “you are drunk sir”

Churchill: you are ugly but I’ll be sober in the morning!

Don't mean to be pedantic Sols mate, but I think that was Bessie Braddock.

Lady Astor said - "Winston, if you were my husband, I'd poison your tea. To which Churchill said - "Nancy, if I were your husband, I'd drink it."

Only know this because I'm sitting in my local; The Grasshopper On The Green, and they've got Winston quotes all over the wall. 🇬🇧

I think the quote is more important. 🤓

No, I shall take this up with the pub management this afternoon.