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Things your other halves say
Comments
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"why can't I be Joanna Lumley?"! Yep, she just said that.0
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No0
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"oh yes! you got a hole in one" ( on the mini golf course) "what's that called again?"me: ""a hole in one?her: "Yeah that! what's it called?"0
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Whilst watching the recent England v Wales game, my lovely lady came out with: 'How come Gareth Bale can play for Wales and Spurs?'
For an easy life I said he works part time for both...0 -
Is it in yet?
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how is he nath?0
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In the car keeping kids occupied by running through alphabet on animals, plants etc.. get to 'D' on birds and the Mrs answers 'Dildo'. She wouldn't have it that she was thinking of a Dodo. Had to let her have it (no pun intended) and explain later.
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"You spent how much on a Charlton poster"
And the one that always bloody irks me, "If you bothered learning Latin you'd understand"
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My wife says to my daughters " Daddy is going to football AGAIN for some more ME time!"0
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Like the dildo one. But fave is valley11s so far.0
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Actually, the worst one ever.
My misses was a Chelsea supporter for 20 odd years and knows as much about football and what's going on in the leagues if not more than me.
She got very dissolusioned after Ambromrvich took over and started splashing cash and sort of lost interest. When Chelsea spent 50 million on Torres it was the last straw.
Then she saw how excited i was when SCP came in (whom she has a lot of respect for) and she has always been a bit jealous of my pride in Charltons off field achievements, she asked a few weeks later.
"Darling, do you mind if i follow Charlton from now on"
"Of course not" said I "We are your kind of club after all"
Then we lost 11 on the bounce.
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Told my ex Peter Schmeichel's first name was Michael, when ever footy came up in conversation, she would always say she likes the Man U goalie Michael Schmichael.
What a laugh it was when she found out the truth............
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Me. "Baby, do you mind if i go to the playoff Semi final?"
Her. "No of course not when is it?"
Me "Thanks Honey, it's on your Birthday."
Her "You can go if you want"
Me "Really? You won't get the hump?"
Her "No of course not."
She did. Massively. Say what you mean Woman!
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You should know that when women say yes they really mean no
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Actually, the worst one ever.
Great story.
My misses was a Chelsea supporter for 20 odd years and knows as much about football and what's going on in the leagues if not more than me.
She got very dissolusioned after Ambromrvich took over and started splashing cash and sort of lost interest. When Chelsea spent 50 million on Torres it was the last straw.
Then she saw how excited i was when SCP came in (whom she has a lot of respect for) and she has always been a bit jealous of my pride in Charltons off field achievements, she asked a few weeks later.
"Darling, do you mind if i follow Charlton from now on"
"Of course not" said I "We are your kind of club after all"
Then we lost 11 on the bounce.0 -
Actually, the worst one ever.
Is she still hanging in there or have you since banned her?
My misses was a Chelsea supporter for 20 odd years and knows as much about football and what's going on in the leagues if not more than me.
She got very dissolusioned after Ambromrvich took over and started splashing cash and sort of lost interest. When Chelsea spent 50 million on Torres it was the last straw.
Then she saw how excited i was when SCP came in (whom she has a lot of respect for) and she has always been a bit jealous of my pride in Charltons off field achievements, she asked a few weeks later.
"Darling, do you mind if i follow Charlton from now on"
"Of course not" said I "We are your kind of club after all"
Then we lost 11 on the bounce.
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One of my exes thought Stephen Hawking was Superman.0
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"You said you were on your way home at 10 past 10. It's now 1.42. Precisely how far away IS Camden from Bromley?"0
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After we sold Rob Elliot
Me: "We have just sold our 1st choice goalkeeper to Newcastle"
Her: "Oh right............ What position is he going to play?
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The worst one ever is. "Its only a game" or "why are you so angry they always lose you should be used to it by now"0
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Told my ex Peter Schmeichel's first name was Michael, when ever footy came up in conversation, she would always say she likes the Man U goalie Michael Schmichael.
Brilliant! One of the Jewish Schmeichel's no doubt!
What a laugh it was when she found out the truth............
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"I don't want to go to the pub quiz. You can go if you want though"
I'll give you 3 guesses what happens if I do!
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"It's selfish of you not to let me do what I want"
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"I don't want to go to the pub quiz. You can go if you want though"
I'll give you 3 guesses what happens if I do!
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"It's selfish of you not to let me do what I want"
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"I don't want to go to the pub quiz. You can go if you want though"
I'll give you 3 guesses what happens if I do!
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"I don't want to go to the pub quiz. You can go if you want though"
I'll give you 3 guesses what happens if I do!
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Whoa!!! I've heard of double posting but this is taking the piss. Any admin-y types who can sort it out please?
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Me: Do you know what the capital of Germany is?
Her: obviously...*tuts*.........
Me: Go on then, what is it?
Her: Belgium
True story
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