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Stupid Things People Say

2

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  • donnyaddick
    donnyaddick Posts: 315
    Friend of mines ex - "I've just seen that lass out of Rod, Jane and Freddy.....can't remember her name though"
  • SE18Addick
    SE18Addick Posts: 375
    At a barbecue a mate once asked 'what does BBQ stand for?'..
  • Sidneys_Flag
    Sidneys_Flag Posts: 10
    a lass i know always just puts "route to ...... " as her status instead of "en route to ......" it really annoys me
  • thai malaysia addick
    thai malaysia addick Posts: 18,332
    People who see that cricket is on TV with the score at 135-3 in the first innings of the game and ask "Who's winning?"
  • cafcpolo
    cafcpolo Posts: 3,811
    My Mum - "Where does the Mexican wave come from?"
    Actually more likely to have started in the States, so perhaps not so stupid ;)
  • InCurbsWeTrusted
    InCurbsWeTrusted Posts: 300
    My stepdad was as thick as pigshit, and constantly came out with them.

    Question on Blockbusters : "What 'I' is a middle-eastern religion".. he shouts out "Indu"..

    A News reports about Israeli soldiers filmed beating up Palestinian children. His comment : "Jesus. And these people call themselves Christians..."
  • golfaddick
    golfaddick Posts: 33,616
    People who see that cricket is on TV with the score at 135-3 in the first innings of the game and ask "Who's winning?"
    This
  • ShootersHillGuru
    ShootersHillGuru Posts: 50,619
    Mates missus when trying to say "it was a Mexican standoff" says "it was a Mexican hatstand"
  • thai malaysia addick
    thai malaysia addick Posts: 18,332
    Announcers on trains/at stations that tell you nothing - "All trains are running on time. There are no delays on any underground lines".
  • BIG_ROB
    BIG_ROB Posts: 5,274
    Don't worry, there's always someone worse off.

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  • DaveMehmet
    DaveMehmet Posts: 21,590
    Probably the most stupid thing my wife ever said was "Yes Russ, I'd love to marry you"
  • BIG_ROB
    BIG_ROB Posts: 5,274
    Probably the most stupid thing my wife ever said was "Yes Russ, I'd love to marry you"
    Especially as you names Dave?

    ; )
  • daveaddick
    daveaddick Posts: 1,926
    When playing golf:

    1) "Don't worry enjoy the walk"...if I wanted to go for a walk I would hump 25kg of golf clubs with me
    2) "Trees are 80% air"...really try hitiing 10 golf balls at a tree and see if 8 go straight through

    In certain circumstances murder should be legal
  • daveaddick
    daveaddick Posts: 1,926
    How about Rio Ferdinand when he took over as England captain from John Terry "It's my turn to pick up the mantlepiece"
  • Addickted4life
    Addickted4life Posts: 7,467
    An ex girlfriend of mine asked me who won in the end when we were watching Saving Private Ryan

    And also said "what does a football captain do? Does he ring all the other players and ask if they want to play?"

    Palm to head!
    image
  • CafcCrazy
    CafcCrazy Posts: 808
    Girl I know
    Me : Rome was great
    Girl : Rome? I thought you went to Italy....
  • iaitch
    iaitch Posts: 10,219
    Was watching us play Spurs at Selhurst Park one Christmas.

    Nico Classen was playing for Spurs, fan near us shouts out 'F*** off back to Holland you Belgian c***'
  • cafcfan
    cafcfan Posts: 11,198
    An American asking for directions to Shakespeare's house at Stratford station.
    I should add that this is Stratford, East London.
  • thai malaysia addick
    thai malaysia addick Posts: 18,332
    Girl I know
    Me : Rome was great
    Girl : Rome? I thought you went to Italy....
    It's a bit like Ian Rush who referred to living in Italy as "it's like living in a foreign country"
  • Curb_It
    Curb_It Posts: 21,218
    I heard a woman at the bus stop at Woolwich Arsenal the other day directions to somewhere, to which the American lady replied, "I'm sorry i dont know I only moved here to Greenwich yesterday"
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  • InCurbsWeTrusted
    InCurbsWeTrusted Posts: 300
    An American asking for directions to Shakespeare's house at Stratford station.
    I should add that this is Stratford, East London.
    Reminds me of trying to help a Japanese tourist in distress at Paddington station some years ago, almost in tears. Seems she'd spent most the day of the asking people how to get to Heathrow for a flight to Turkey, and had been taken by a taxi driver to Paddington, thinking she was trying to get to Torquay...

  • tom_k
    tom_k Posts: 1,207
    Heard some fans try and start a chant against Southampton " You dirty Northern B*****ds" and they weren't joking
  • Greenie
    Greenie Posts: 9,172
    Heard some fans try and start a chant against Southampton " You dirty Northern B*****ds" and they weren't joking
    Were they from the Isle of Wight?
  • colthe3rd
    colthe3rd Posts: 8,486
    I remember playing Trivial Persuit with the family at xmas one year, and I had my (now) ex-wife on my side. Asked to name a famous jockey, she replied.........

    Jockey Wilson.

    Similar to one I heard, some game at Christmas we were playing and one of the females in the room had the question "Name a famous Policeman" her response "John Constable".
  • guinnessaddick
    guinnessaddick Posts: 28,597
    Antti Niemi, he's Finnish.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zl9yiRwlfTg&feature=youtube_gdata_player
  • Uboat
    Uboat Posts: 12,194
    That's brilliant. Must be a joke, surely. Hope not though.
  • SE7toSG3
    SE7toSG3 Posts: 3,140
    Given my job as a military historian, my beautiful wife who I met at scholl still gets confused and occasionally calls it Napoleons Column in Trafalagar Square!

    More amusing is her incapacity to remember whether she likes dupiaza or dhansak when ordering a curry, in girls world one is a lot hotter than the other!
  • Huskaris
    Huskaris Posts: 9,844
    I love these. It also makes me thankful that my girlfriend is not a complete retard.
  • mickc
    mickc Posts: 573
    A few years ago a fella who works for me missing for a while one afternoon finally answers his phone.
    I asked " What's happened you've not been answering your phone?"

    He ans " Got a puncture"

    Me: " Well how did the tyre go down?"

    Deadly serious his ans was " WHOOOOOSSHH"

    My daughter 14 yrs old at the time listening on speakerphone went in hysterics.

    I said "Woosh?"

    He replied "Yer it came out the side of the tyre."

    Priceless!
  • SilentAddick
    SilentAddick Posts: 1,603
    At a barbecue a mate once asked 'what does BBQ stand for?'..
    Mine would say Bloody B & Q!!!

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