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Limericks
Chizz
Posts: 28,330
Is there a name in football that is better-suited to being immortalised in a Limerick than that of Middlesbrough manager Aitor Karanka?
And if there is, who is it, and what's the Limerick?
And if there is, who is it, and what's the Limerick?
1
Comments
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Boro boss Aitor Kranka
Thought a home win was a banker
But Chris Powell sowed some doubt
And Solly lead the rout
and now Boro fans think Aitor is a decent bloke but tactically naive coach who doesn't know when to make a substitution
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...and we should be beating teams like Charlton...Henry Irving said:Boro boss Aitor Kranka
Thought a home win was a banker
But Chris Powell sowed some doubt
And Solly lead the rout
and now Boro fans think Aitor is a decent bloke but tactically naive coach who doesn't know when to make a substitution
D'oh !
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There was an old groundsman called Powell
Who was constantly on the prowl
For a football pitch cover
And something or other
That could take the place of a towel2 -
How about one for our loanee Asrit?0
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Was it clear to us all that we need...
A fresh-faced young midfield Swede?
He was signed by our backer
He's a midfield-attacker
Up the table we hope he can lead
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There was a young lady called myrtle
Who had an affair with a turtle
and what's more abominable
a swelling abdominal
Proved to myrtle, the turtle, was fertile2 -
^^ PMSL0
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There was a young lady from Bude
Who went for a swim in the lake
A man in a punt
Stuck a pole in her ear
And said 'you can't swim here its private'.
2 -
Not for the squeamish:
There once was a vampire called Mabel,
whose periods were heavy but stable.
One night by full moon
she pulled out a spoon
but said, "I could do with a ladle"!0 -
The rain in south London keeps fallin'
So the pitch at the Valley's appallin'
The investor from Brussels
Flexed his financial muscles
And covered it all in tarpaulin
1 - Sponsored links:
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The right reverend Bishop of Birmingham
Liked to roger young girls while confirming 'em
He spent most of his day,
Just rogering away
as he pumped his episcopal sperm in 'em.1 -
I like the alternative silly ones...
There was a young Man from Dundee
Who got stuck on the neck by a wasp
Little Jack Horner sat in a corner
Cos he had a square arse
Humpty Dumpty sat on a Wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
All the King's horses and all the King's men
had scrambled egg for breakfast.
0 -
Their once was a mouse called Keith
Who circumcised men with his teeth
He didn't do it for leisure
Or sexual pleasure
He done it for the cheese underneath1 -
When asked what she liked most of of all
'A penis' said the lady of Gaul
Her husband said 'No,
It is not pronounced so
It's 'appiness as I recall'0 -
There was a young fella from Kent
Whose tool was exceedingly bent
to save himself trouble
he stuck it in double
and instead of coming, he went0 -
There was a young man from Devizes
Whose balls were of differing sizes
One was so small
It was no ball at all,
But the other was huge and won prizes1 -
there was an old fella from Belgique
who thought his idea was unique
he loans players between clubs
who turn out to be subs
and we're not allowed to critique3 -
We spent all week planning to play
The Middlesbrough team, away
We went up on the train
But it started to rain
And we found their home ground washed away1 -
There was a comic called Jim D
Who starred in celebrity BB.
Got cuffed to a bitch called Linda,
Surprised he never chinned her,
But he couldn't wait to be free.0 -
There was an old man called Frank,
He never washed and he stank.
He supported Millwall
Which made him a fool,
Because they're just a pile of w@&k!0 - Sponsored links:
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The game up at Donny was fowl
and the out-crowd all started to howl,
but none could agree
and some couldn't see
that the man for the job is Chris Powell!1 -
A young student name Frank, from Rockingham
Stood on the bridge at Buckingham,
Watching the stunts of the c****s in their punts,
and the tricks of the p****s,
that were f*****g 'em.
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All these Charlton supporters that howl
Because they can't get behind Chris Powell.
They need to get behind the team
Let Chrissy live his dream
Otherwise the negativity will make him fail!1 -
.0
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There once was a man from madras
With testicles made out of brass.
When he banged them together
They played "Stormy Weather"
And lightning shot out of his ass.0 -
There was a young man from Brighton
Who thought he'd at last found a tight 'un.
He said, "Oh my love,
It fits like a glove."
Said she, "But you're not in the right 'un."-1 -
Not quite a limerick, but one from a toilet wall:
Some come here to sit and think
Some come here to shit and stink
but I come here to scratch my balls
and read the writing on the walls0 -
A small cockney w**k*r named Wise
Would not take his eyes off the prize,
But try as he may,
No jobs came his way,
Perhaps it was because of his size.
(I couldn't get anything to rhyme with shortarse f*****r)
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There was a man from Montana
Who would do tricks for a tanner (old 6 pence)
His favourite trick
Was to stand on his prick
And tighten his balls with a spanner.0 -
There was an old man from Strood
Who seemed the worlds biggest prude.
When his wife got the horn
He made her watch porn
Because he secretly wanted a dude!0
