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Bad relationships
AFKABartram
Posts: 57,824
Semi seriously said 'partners' on the things you shouldn't compromise about thread, but seriously, why do people persist in a clear toxic relationship?
Just had the delights in sharing a train home with a couple mid mega row. They will never ever be happy, they can't the way they spoke, looked at each other.
Is it fear of being single / the unknown? Why do people stay in such relationships? Anyone been in a relationship that's gone more south than Antarctica?
Baffled of Belvedere
Just had the delights in sharing a train home with a couple mid mega row. They will never ever be happy, they can't the way they spoke, looked at each other.
Is it fear of being single / the unknown? Why do people stay in such relationships? Anyone been in a relationship that's gone more south than Antarctica?
Baffled of Belvedere
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The sex may be amazing1
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Yep. Married the bitch. Nothing but a distant memory now................2
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I think our relationship with Charlton is pretty bad.
She consumes so much of our money, makes us travel to such hellholes as Huddersfield and Rotherham, and mostly provides misery and worry.
Still, we keep coming back.19 -
I've had a long term relationship I just cant give up, we have breaks every now and again, but we always get back together again, before we do I am full of hope and anticipation, but I am always left disappointed, never the less I'll be back at the Valley next season .. hope over expectation4
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Finances? Children? Religious belief? Love/Hate? Sadism? Masochism?0
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I've been there (although not arguiing on a train in public bad)
Knew it wasn't right but can't explain why I didn't get out earlier. Probably a combination of fear of being single and wanting it to work (I genuinly thought I loved her)
The positive from it was that when I met my future wife, she had been in a shitty relationship too so not only did we know what we did want, we more importantly knew what we didn't want from a relationship.8 -
Bad experiences make you a better person for it, believe me.0
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yes, as variously stated, the old quandary many face, between unhappy/miserable in a relationship, but fearful of life beyond...0
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I was in a pretty awful one for a while, and I knew for a long time that it wasn't right. Tried to make it work for many reasons - she had a tough upbringing so I gave her a lot a leeway and forgave her for a lot of things. I am lucky enough to come from a settled background, so I think that played a part, thinking that you have to work at things to make relationships work etc.
I would like think I have learnt my lesson, in comparison to many bad relationships it was pretty short, but the last 6 months or so were hell. I don't really have any regrets, I think it made me better as a person and more confident to go with my gut feelings, and how to recognise the signs that you shouldn't be with someone.
I don't know how some people stay in these relationships long-term, I think I'd lose my marbles. But with kids etc. comes responsibility.2 - Sponsored links:
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very sadly, i sense the majority of relationships can be summarized as an unhappy truce, with occasional skirmishes - certainly many of mine over a coupla decades.2
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pubic rows : to be avoided at ALL costs - they tear at the core of any remaining empathy/understanding.0
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I've been in a relationship with Megan Fox for 5 years. She treats me like rubbish. She's called the police on me, shouts at me, tells me to go away, she hates it when I touch her, is always with another man who has an earpiece in, is huge and he keeps me away from her. But with all of this, I still go and sit outside our house in the car looking in...5
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Well she's got to keep it trimmed.shootershill2tropics said:pubic rows : to be avoided at ALL costs - they tear at the core of any remaining empathy/understanding.
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saw her recently dizzee, at el-lay raw/vegan eaterie, sun cafe (ooooooo look at me;>)- so, was that you pressed against the window?dizzee said:I've been in a relationship with Megan Fox for 5 years. She treats me like rubbish. She's called the police on me, shouts at me, tells me to go away, she hates it when I touch her, is always with another man who has an earpiece in, is huge and he keeps me away from her. But with all of this, I still go and sit outside our house in the car looking in...
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Oh mate, where do I begin! I have been messing around with the same toxic relationship for 7 years now! We will never be happy together long term and always end up going back and splitting up etc! Recently split and probably for the last time but god knows what has kept me there for so long! Never learn my lesson that's for sure!
Spent so much longer in it than I should have and don't really know what the reason was, possibly because I was afraid of upsetting her regardless of my own feelings etc0 -
Everyone has their own circumstances, when the brown stuff does hit the twirly thing you find out who your true friends are and families can be a wonderful thing. Or just an earhole is truly therapeutic. Having the Charlton family, through highs and lows will always be there - longest relationship of my life:)1
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Mate I have had those poisonous rows and you might have had to
Never pre judge what goes on behind other doors
Me and the wife pre kids had some shockers but we are more in love now than ever *
*soppy bastard1 -
I believe it was shakespeare who said it first ... I did it all for the nookie.2
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I have always said that a happy marriage is the best thing in your life, and an unhappy one the worst. I have enjoyed wonderful loving relationships with family and friends, and they are much more important than money, big houses etc. Add to that how much more pleasure you can get from giving to others, rather than receiving. Say hello to the richest man in the World.3
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Any relationship where you don't argue is as bad as one where you do2
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The worst ones are the one way relationships. It starts off all lovely and then after a while you notice the only person doing their best is you, and rhen she goes and breaks your heart and you shouldn't really care because of how she's been, but you do and it hurts. This is something I never want to experience again.5
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As the Persuaders sang
"It's a thin line between love and hate"0 -
I've had a few bad relationships over the years, don't tell my wife though!!9
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Roger Moore and Tony Curtis were deeper thinkers than you'd imagine.Henry Irving said:As the Persuaders sang
"It's a thin line between love and hate"
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You have to work at them. Most people think that relationships stay the same over time, that you're always going to feel the same way about each other as you did when you first together. They don't, and you won't.
I've been married for 14 years, together for 16. We split for 2 years and were halfway through divorce before reconciling. During the split I had a few flings with women - only one of which meant anything (and she was insane, so it doesn't count!). What they taught me is that if you're with someone for a long time, then there has to be something in the relationship worth fighting for. The idea of 'Love' is a romantic concept, but one that is doomed to fail. Long, lasting relationships are built on companionship, understanding, empathy, friendship and a genuine enjoyment of the other person's company.
I often look at people who stay in horrid relationships and wonder why they bother. However, over time I've come to accept that my view of a relationship is just a snapshot of it. When I was a kid, we did nothing but argue in my house. My mum is extremely volatile and my brother was an absolute twat growing up. This is what has made me the argumentative sod that I am now - but when I'm with my wife, we don't argue. I avoid confrontation with her because I don't want to argue and row in every facet of my life. Maybe that's why I'm never judgemental of other peoples' relationships.6 -
^^^ Feck me, I sound like Dr Phil10
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the art of arguing is something me and my GF havent mastered, even after 14 years. We separated for a while and i had a relationship with a girl that was awesome at it, having an argument with someone that has mastered the art of arguing is bliss.
Love my gf but when we are having misunderstandings or a row she can get me crazy furious, the kind of fury that makes you hurt your hands because you smashed through the door out of frustration. Never hit her though, she has but she really hits like a girl and thats so funny that i cant even be mad at her. Would just love to find a way to disagree about things and finding a more zen way of dealing with it. Come from a long line of broken homes and i cant stand shouting and arguing, cant see the need to lose your head over trivial things but she ... disagrees
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You're absolutely right NLA!nth london addick said:The sex may be amazing
I was with my second wife for 4 years, married after two years, once the sex (which was amazing!) tails off and you realise what you are left with it can go wrong. In my case, I was left with a total fruitcake who like the first wife fleeced me for everything she could. If it hadn't been for those two, I would have been a very rich man!
In saying that though, I took the plunge for a third time and have been happily married for 26 years, but even that had its problems in the early days, but we worked through them. I may be a lot poorer, but at least I'm happy!0 -
You need a good row now and again, clears the air and gets any issues in the open so you can actually chat about them. Then again depends how feisty the two people are.0
