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The shits

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  • edited January 2023
    I had the ‘I need to find a toilet and I can’t’ dream last night. When I woke up I nipped down to the bog and pretty much stayed there for an hour with the wateriest shits I’ve ever had. The day before id felt really cold and just couldn’t get warm. Been feeling like this all day followed by hot plus achy. I had a couple more shits but after half a packet of Imodium it’s stopped. 
    Is there a bug going round like this? I can’t think of anything I’ve eaten that could have done this. Not felt this bad since COVID.
    I'm willing to bet that your username has never been more apt  :open_mouth:  ;)

    EDIT: @R0TW beat me to it.
  • Poor Carter. I bet your arse looks like the Japanese flag at the minute
    Do you mean the new one or the old one? image
    There’s no old and new.  The one on the right is the ensign for the Japanese Self Defense Force.  Just saying.
  • Thought it was a bad “The Slits” tribute act…
  • Poor Carter. I bet your arse looks like the Japanese flag at the minute
    Do you mean the new one or the old one? image
    There’s no old and new.  The one on the right is the ensign for the Japanese Self Defense Force.  Just saying.
    Its taken you 7 years to google that? How slow is your Internet speed?
  • As the great Barry Cryer once said

    Shit=Sean Connery training his dog
  • I had the ‘I need to find a toilet and I can’t’ dream last night. When I woke up I nipped down to the bog and pretty much stayed there for an hour with the wateriest shits I’ve ever had. The day before id felt really cold and just couldn’t get warm. Been feeling like this all day followed by hot plus achy. I had a couple more shits but after half a packet of Imodium it’s stopped. 
    Is there a bug going round like this? I can’t think of anything I’ve eaten that could have done this. Not felt this bad since COVID.
    An image shattered 😕
  • Day 2 - another hot and cold night and still have the shits. Running low on Imodium 😐. I guess this is probably Norovirus, although I haven’t been sick - yet.
  • I had the ‘I need to find a toilet and I can’t’ dream last night. When I woke up I nipped down to the bog and pretty much stayed there for an hour with the wateriest shits I’ve ever had. The day before id felt really cold and just couldn’t get warm. Been feeling like this all day followed by hot plus achy. I had a couple more shits but after half a packet of Imodium it’s stopped. 
    Is there a bug going round like this? I can’t think of anything I’ve eaten that could have done this. Not felt this bad since COVID.
    I had exactly the same thing on Wednesday evening, even down to the feeling cold (so much so I was watching the tv with a water bottle up my jumper to keep warm). 

    Imodium has helped block it up but when that wears off it's back to shitting water. TMI ALERT. More solid this morning but I'm fearing the worst as the day progresses. 

    I did wonder if this might be part of a new strain of Covid or just another bug floating around this planet.
  • Wouldn't it be better not to take Immodium or anything that blocks you up?
    Best to get rid of whatever is causing the upset.
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  • IdleHans said:
    Probably not if you're on the 07:12 to Charing Cross.
    What about the 07:42? Don’t they mind if you shit yourself on the later train?
  • Better out than in 
    but if you have to be in transit then best Imodium up to the eyeballs but I’m always scared once the seal re breaks 

  • IdleHans said:
    Probably not if you're on the 07:12 to Charing Cross.
    What about the 07:42? Don’t they mind if you shit yourself on the later train?
    Can't speak for them but the people on the 7:12 had a right moan at me last time. 
  • I remember a doctor telling me that it’s fine to take Imodium with a stomach virus….. he called the shits like a runny nose with a cold. It’s a symptom of your body fighting a virus rather than your body deliberately causing diarrhoea to flush something out (which is what I thought).

    So if you can stop the symptom it doesn’t mean your body isn’t still killing the virus 
  • When I saw the thread title I was expecting a story about millllll and palice.
  • When I saw the thread title I was expecting a story about millllll and palice.
    You are sort of right Elfs, you get crap from both of them..😉
  • Just in the interests of accuracy I thought I'd drop one (chart) here and move on.


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  • Type 6 is my poo (of no choice )
  • I had the ‘I need to find a toilet and I can’t’ dream last night. When I woke up I nipped down to the bog and pretty much stayed there for an hour with the wateriest shits I’ve ever had. The day before id felt really cold and just couldn’t get warm. Been feeling like this all day followed by hot plus achy. I had a couple more shits but after half a packet of Imodium it’s stopped. 
    Is there a bug going round like this? I can’t think of anything I’ve eaten that could have done this. Not felt this bad since COVID.
    An image shattered 😕
    I agree. When I first saw this username I found it amusing, but upon gleaning the user is in fact female, my enjoyment increased. Now, however, I am wishing that I never gleaned! 
  • Wouldn't it be better not to take Immodium or anything that blocks you up?
    Best to get rid of whatever is causing the upset.
    A good question & I've always wanted to know the answer.
    I asked my GP once but never got a straight answer.


  • Too much of this ends in dire consequences!
  • Just in the interests of accuracy I thought I'd drop one (chart) here and move on.


    Mine is probably a 10. 
  • I will do all I can to avoid taking immodium, it makes me feel bloated and I know when it has done its thing I will birth something akin to a tube of pringles that inevitably will need breaking up manually to rid the pan of. 

    That said, as I've aged I've lost the ability I used to have to almost choose when and where I defecate, to swallow it back up if you will 

    Now I get a maximum 15 minutes notice from my lower colon before I need to be hanging my ringpiece over a porcelain bowl and some occasions, memorably a recent Noel Gallagher gig, an away day, a friends funeral, a coach trip and a journey up North purely because I cant have the need to shit crop up especially in most of those situations where finding somewhere to drop anchor or spray brown faecal matter like a can of lynx is out of the question. 

    I believe lockdown has ruined a lot of peoples bowel regimens. I used to rise and be empty for the day before 6am now as much as I aim to have emptied my bowels before I leave for work often I am left with a low level anxiety that I will have to do an al fresco Barry
  • TBF I thought this was going to be another thread on the transfer window. :blush:
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