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Chat up lines

allez les addicks
allez les addicks Posts: 1,432
edited August 2010 in Fun, Jokes & Captions
I'm bored at work, and seeing as Ketman hasn't updated us on the other thread , I need another diversion.....

So, anyone wish to share their favourite chat-up lines/method of enticing past conquests?
«13

Comments

  • Plaaayer
    Plaaayer Posts: 8,997
    Do you work for DHL?

    Because I'm sure I saw you checking out my package!
  • ValleyGary
    ValleyGary Posts: 37,973
    Excuse me, do you have a fat penguin?

    no, why?

    looking for something to break the ice with!
  • DaveMehmet
    DaveMehmet Posts: 21,590
    Les Berry's Tash's opening gambit to the girl who eventually became his wife was to tell her that her spot concealer wasn't doing a very good job on the one on her chin.
  • Curb_It
    Curb_It Posts: 21,218
    [cite]Posted By: DaveMehmet[/cite]Les Berry's Tash's opening gambit to the girl who eventually became his wife was to tell her that her spot concealer wasn't doing a very good job on the one on her chin.

    now see that is funny. other corny allegedly chat up lines like the two above for example are shit.
  • nth_london_addick
    nth_london_addick Posts: 35,919
    I lick like a woman
  • nth_london_addick
    nth_london_addick Posts: 35,919
    should i call you in the morning or just poke you
  • ValleyGary
    ValleyGary Posts: 37,973
    i know. i dont need chat up lines, they come talk to me....

    brad-pitt.jpg
  • cafcdan18
    cafcdan18 Posts: 3,664
    I may not be the best looking guy here, but I am the only one talking to you
  • MickeyBennett
    MickeyBennett Posts: 676
    Can I touch your breasts?
  • Plaaayer
    Plaaayer Posts: 8,997
    Does this smell like chloroform to you?
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  • O-Randy-Hunt
    O-Randy-Hunt Posts: 10,632
    Me - do you want to dance love

    Girl - yea ok then

    Me - that's good cos I want to chat to your mate
  • Dave Rudd
    Dave Rudd Posts: 2,865
    "Relax, Rachel. You'll be fine."
  • cafcdan18
    cafcdan18 Posts: 3,664
    Here's 50p, phone your mum, tell her you are not coming home tonight.
    I'm no Fred Flintstone, but I can make your Bedrock
  • IA
    IA Posts: 6,103
    Nice shoes. Wanna fuck?
  • sam3110
    sam3110 Posts: 21,242
    dont use pick up lines, but put downs are much after anyway. if you see a lady who you have no intention of hooking up with, go up to her and say↲
    'id give you one↲
    she'll probably say something along the lines of↲
    'chauvanistic pig'↲
    at which point you can reply ↲
    'oh sorry i was rating you out of 10'
  • MrLargo
    MrLargo Posts: 7,989
    "Do you like chicken?

    Well suck my cock, it's fowl!"

    Works everytime.
  • Oggy Red
    Oggy Red Posts: 44,954
    Get talking to her mate.

    You're not trying to pull that one, so you're relaxed and you won't faff up.
    Then she'll introduce you to her friend, and it just flows effortlessly. See? Easy.

    If you run out of easy chat with your prime conquest and she's not that interesting after all, you've already broken the ice with her mate - so seemlessly transfer your attentions back to her.

    Just like girls always go to the loo together, if you're really lucky, you might go home with both of them.
  • O-Randy-Hunt
    O-Randy-Hunt Posts: 10,632
    @ Cafcdan18. Can you catch love. Cause there's a couple of balls coming your way.

    Max and paddy. Quality
  • johnnybev1987
    johnnybev1987 Posts: 11,410
    i've used this one which suprisingly didnt get a slap

    'if your left leg was breakfast and your right lunch i'd eat between meals'

    dunno how i got away with it
  • AFKABartram
    AFKABartram Posts: 57,822
    [cite]Posted By: O-Randy-Hunt[/cite]Me - do you want to dance love

    Girl - yea ok then

    Me - that's good cos I want to chat to your mate

    that made me chuckle
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  • Plaaayer
    Plaaayer Posts: 8,997
    edited August 2010
    [cite]Posted By: johnnybev1987[/cite]i've used this one which suprisingly didnt get a slap

    'if your left leg was breakfast and your right lunch i'd eat between meals'

    dunno how i got away with it

    She was deaf?
  • johnnybev1987
    johnnybev1987 Posts: 11,410
    edited August 2010
    [cite]Posted By: Plaaayer[/cite]She was deaf?

    lol no and i got her number aswell very suprising eh
  • Plaaayer
    Plaaayer Posts: 8,997
    [cite]Posted By: johnnybev1987[/cite]
    [cite]Posted By: Plaaayer[/cite]She was deaf?

    lol no and i got her number aswell very suprising eh

    And dumb?
  • petetheaddick
    petetheaddick Posts: 375
    Can I smell your fanny?

    No!!!

    It must be your feet then
  • JT
    JT Posts: 12,348
    [cite]Posted By: Dave Rudd[/cite]"Relax, Rachel. You'll be fine."



    v31vup.jpg
  • cafcdan18
    cafcdan18 Posts: 3,664
    I;ve lost my phone numbers, can I have yours?
    You may not be the best looking bird here, but beauty is only a lightswitch away.
  • ValleyGary
    ValleyGary Posts: 37,973
    [cite]Posted By: petetheaddick[/cite]Can I smell your fanny?

    No!!!

    It must be your feet then

    hahahahahaha
  • SE10Addick
    SE10Addick Posts: 2,963
    "you dont sweat much for a fat bird"
  • NathanPrior
    NathanPrior Posts: 3,577
    You're great!
  • JT
    JT Posts: 12,348
    [cite]Posted By: NathanPrior[/cite]You're great!

    Yeah, if you're chatting up Tony the tiger.

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