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Things to do when the wife and kids are away...help needed!
Bcaddick
Posts: 445
My wife and boys have gone to South Africa for 3 weeks leaving me at home...bloody hell the house is quiet! Wondering what the hell to do! Suggestions?
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work0
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Brass0
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Can I come round with some beers?0
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Get yourself some good Johnny Vaughen, and spend the next 3 weeks throwing yourself about the house.0
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[cite]Posted By: MCS[/cite]Get yourself some good Johnny Vaughen, and spend the next 3 weeks throwing yourself about the house.
You kids calling it Johnny, it's Frankie.0 -
a good poo with the door open.0
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Leave all your clothes on the floor where you take them off
Leave wet towels on the bed
Put the forks in the knife compartment in the draw
Leave the seat up
Watch sport 24/7
That should do for a start0 -
masterbate like buggery0
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Teach the cat to swim.
Try and find a new cat that looks just like the one you drowned.
Wish you didn't listen to idiot suggestions on Charlton Life!0 -
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eat a kebab in the front room, without having to open every window in the house for about 4 days.
send yourself a text saying you'll be home from the pub at 9pm and then give yourself a good dressing down when you have the temerity to stay out until 9.10pm
Let an empty used cup enjoy the freedom of being placed on the side for longer than about 45 seconds before it is kidnapped and held hostage by the dishwasher for 3 days.
Turn on the television and discover there is a whole world outside of Corrie, Eastenders, Emmerdale and Hollyoaks (the last one is manageable)0 -
Halo marathon shooting annoying yanks in the back on your team...0
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Pee all over the toilet seat then put it up straight afterwards.
Carter would also probably suggest to try soiling yourself at least once in your life.0 -
XHamster0
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glad I'm not the only one who leaves wet towels on the bed and clothes on the floor..
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[cite]Posted By: oohaahmortimer[/cite]Brass
My first thoughts!0 -
cliche0
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Walk around the house naked scratching yourself
Fart really loud and belch
Go to the pub and come home 3 days later with whip marks that you have no idea where they came from
Hire a dwarf and keep him for a week as your drinking buddy0 -
get box of tissues sign up to adult channels, sorted :P0
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Perhaps the thread should be titled...
things NOT to do when the wife and kids are away! ;-)0 -
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The fact that you're on here shows you have internet access, the rest should be obvious.
With the house to yourself a runwank should be a tantalisingly achievable possibility!0 -
Emmigrate, oh how they will laugh when the get home and the house has been sold!!!0
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Your sister in-law.0
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see if you can knock out 10 in a day and whether dust really does come out on the tenth time.0
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About the only thing above i'm not guilty of is leaving the toilet seat up - i just leave it down. Do yourself a favour, type 'porn hub' into your search engine.0
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what bibble says...........serves them right for leaving you on your tod !
that or move a new Doris in............reason as above.0 -
Re-decorate a room
Do all those little jobs you've been putting off
sort all your old clothes out and give them to charity
Finish all the ironing0 -
[cite]Posted By: Henry Irving[/cite]Re-decorate a room
Do all those little jobs you've been putting off
sort all your old clothes out and give them to charity
Finish all the ironing
And then have a big w**k0 -
[quote][cite]Posted By: Henry Irving[/cite]Re-decorate a room
Do all those little jobs you've been putting off
sort all your old clothes out and give them to charity
Finish all the ironing[/quote]
I cant wait for your memoirs Henry!!!0 -
[cite]Posted By: Henry Irving[/cite]Re-decorate a room
Do all those little jobs you've been putting off
sort all your old clothes out and give them to charity
Finish all the ironing
I thought he said his wife had gone away not the other way round?0
