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Your most unhinged "if I came to power" rule

cantersaddickcantersaddick
edited August 21 in Fun, Jokes & Captions
Not looking for actual sensible suggestions. The most out there things you would ban or make law if you had complete power.

Mind would be - immediate deportation to a remote island (not pleasant) for anyone wearing a cravat. 

Go.
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Comments

  • ShootersHillGuruShootersHillGuru
    edited August 21
    People who drop their chewing gum on the floor should be made to spend a week cleaning it off.

    Edit : with their teeth.
  • cantersaddickcantersaddick
    ShootersHillGuru said:
    People who drop their chewing gum on the floor should be made to spend a week cleaning it off.
    Not unhinged enough. Punishment needs to me more out there. Try again
  • iaitchiaitch
    sam3110 said:
    Cyclists who still cycle down the middle of the road, ignoring their dedicated cycle lane, are made to ride naked tandem for a week, behind overweight men with explosive IBS and a penchant for spicy curries
    Harsh but fair.
  • josejose
    edited August 21
    People who get on a bus with seats available yet stand in the exit doorway blocking it should be made to get off the bus and push it along every uphill part of the road.
  • arthurarthur
    People who consiously drop litter get fired into space. They are absolutlely no use to the human race. 
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  • SporadicAddickSporadicAddick
    I would ban people that annoy me from being in public spaces. There would be a number of criteria:-

    Eating with your mouth open.

    Not moving to the left on motorways.

    Not saying please and thankyou.

    Parking in parent and child spaces when you then just sit in the car with the kid whilst one parent gets out.

    anyone ever wearing a facemask for the purpose of hiding identity.

    Anyone with a fake accent.

    etc etc.

  • cfgscfgs
    arthur said:
    People who consiously drop litter get fired into space. They are absolutlely no use to the human race. 
    I want tazers used on people who drop litter. And return of stocks for antisocial behavior and shoplifting.
  • letthegoodtimesrollletthegoodtimesroll
    Reading the Fat Jab thread I’d make it law that wine can only be served in small wine glasses. Anyone that quaffs a drink that has a high alcohol content like it is lemonade, which is what they are doing if they use any glass bigger than a standard small one, needs all the help they can get. 


  • cfgscfgs
    Huskaris said:
    Anyone who plays mobile phones out loud on public transport to have the phone inserted up their arse.
    Then forced up their left nostril.
  • cfgscfgs
    Pavements to be widened and made like motorways. The left being for dawdlering and stopping. 

    Banning umbrellas for anyone under six foot. Fed up with nearly having an eye gouged out every time it piddles it down.
  • bobmunrobobmunro
    Henry Irving said:
    Anyone pronouncing "H" as "Haitch" rather than "Aitch" to be forced to eat gobstoppers non-stop.

    I'd agree with that, Enry.
  • Henry IrvingHenry Irving
    bobmunro said:
    Henry Irving said:
    Anyone pronouncing "H" as "Haitch" rather than "Aitch" to be forced to eat gobstoppers non-stop.

    I'd agree with that, Enry.
    Well, you did work in Haitch R
  • fenaddickfenaddick
    Kinsella87 said:
    Anyone who arrives at a till, bar, service area, ticket barrier, getting on a bus etc and does not have there money/card ready to use.

    Also getting to a bar and taking ages to chose what drink you want...

    All should be kicked in the shin.
    Addition to this, any establishment that makes it hard to see what drinks are available (like chain coffee shops with TV screens with rotating slides) have to make all products free on a Friday afternoon 
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  • Kinsella87Kinsella87
    fenaddick said:
    Kinsella87 said:
    Anyone who arrives at a till, bar, service area, ticket barrier, getting on a bus etc and does not have there money/card ready to use.

    Also getting to a bar and taking ages to chose what drink you want...

    All should be kicked in the shin.
    Addition to this, any establishment that makes it hard to see what drinks are available (like chain coffee shops with TV screens with rotating slides) have to make all products free on a Friday afternoon 
    Very true, TVs never had to be introduced to just show what’s on the menu. 
  • Six-a-bag-of-nutsSix-a-bag-of-nuts
    cantersaddick said:
    Every tuesday there would be a public gathering in all local parks around the country where people who litter are lined up and we can all throw tomatoes at them. We all get to then chill out have some nice food and beer while they clean all the tomato from the park.

    Need a name for this festival though.
    I was going to suggest Scumfest, but didn't want to sow confusion with Millwall's annual Open Day
  • Clem_SnideClem_Snide
    Anyone who uses the word So as punctuation to be executed on the spot. No trial required. Victim of the hate crime can choose the method of killing.
  • AndyGAndyG
    Drivers that sit in the middle lane of motorways !!! they should be suspended naked from motorway bridges for all to see
  • swordfishswordfish
    Mobile phone life bans for those who use them to film accidents happening for likes rather than offering practical assistance. 

  • blackpool72blackpool72
    Anyone who refers to Millwall as Wall to get a custodial sentence. 
    If you have to use an abbreviation just say scum 
  • BedsaddickBedsaddick
    So basically this is the same as “ The Things I dislike “ thread ? 
  • The Red RobinThe Red Robin
    An IQ test before you’re allowed to vote in any election. 

    No pension until you retake your driving test. Doesn’t matter if you fail, it means you shouldn’t be on the road.

    Basic minimum wage for everyone, working or not.

    Free School Meals for all U18s.
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