The first man who can win a starring contest with a goose is promptly crowned Lord of the Stare. Its a largely ceremonial position but he does win the respect of all men and is gifted a harem of the finest women in the land.
I would grant independence to Scotland, but only on the basis that most of the north of England also becomes part of the newly independent Scotland.
The frontiers of my beautiful new England would span from the top of East Anglia to the southern end of the border with Wales, cutting under Peterborough, because that's a shithole, but curving up to capture Royal Leamington Spa and Worcester, which are okay.
Newcastle would remain English, possibly becoming a Gibraltar-esque tax haven. Liverpool will also remain ours. However, I'd build a wall around it and use it in the same was as the French used French Guiana and we used Australia - basically a prison.
Separately from that, I'd shut down South Eastern Trains and replace it with something that works. All former employees of South Eastern Trains to be tried as war criminals.
do we really need to go as far east as Gillingham? and Leyton already sounds like they want to be asian?
I would grant independence to Scotland, but only on the basis that most of the north of England also becomes part of the newly independent Scotland.
The frontiers of my beautiful new England would span from the top of East Anglia to the southern end of the border with Wales, cutting under Peterborough, because that's a shithole, but curving up to capture Royal Leamington Spa and Worcester, which are okay.
Newcastle would remain English, possibly becoming a Gibraltar-esque tax haven. Liverpool will also remain ours. However, I'd build a wall around it and use it in the same was as the French used French Guiana and we used Australia - basically a prison.
Separately from that, I'd shut down South Eastern Trains and replace it with something that works. All former employees of South Eastern Trains to be tried as war criminals.
do we really need to go as far east as Gillingham? and Leyton already sounds like they want to be asian?
That's a very fair point. Gillingham feels like Barnsley - depressing, slightly inbred, apparent lack of access to dental services. Perhaps in my new and beautiful England, we could reduce our dependency on Chinese imports by using the people of Gillingham as slaves, forcing them to manufacture iPhones and various tat for a daily wage of 1 Greggs steak bake.
I’d bring back the Would Ya threads to a weekly basis. Then all members of CL have to comment, however, we are linked up to some sort of remote lie detector. Only the truth can be told.
Sky Sports golf channel would show live golf. No adverts. No interviews. No 15 replays of a putt. No swing analysis. No aerial drone pictures of the clubhouse. No live pictures of Scottie Scheffler and his caddie waiting around for the green to clear. Just live golf. Like the BBC's 1990s coverage of The Open. With "Ken on the Course".
Graffiti vandals to be spray painted all over with indelible paint and the word "twat" embossed into their foreheads. The same goes for anyone who refers to them as "artists".
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No adverts. No interviews. No 15 replays of a putt. No swing analysis. No aerial drone pictures of the clubhouse. No live pictures of Scottie Scheffler and his caddie waiting around for the green to clear.
Just live golf. Like the BBC's 1990s coverage of The Open. With "Ken on the Course".