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Your most unhinged "if I came to power" rule

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  • Based on my post on another thread. I'd make it compulsory to piss in the shower, that you're not allowed to leave the shower until you've done so.
  • So basically this is the same as “ The Things I dislike “ thread ? 
    wasnt meant to be - meant to be more random and unhinged but seems to have morphed into it.
    Things I dislike would be simply saying I dislike dogs jumping around me and trying to lick me. This thread allows you to be radical and mad so I’ll get it back on track:


    I’d introduce the right to shoot and kill on sight any dog, as long as it’s for consumption. 

    Only if the owner is vegetarian,  and therefore not speciesist, can compensation be awarded.
  • edited August 21
    I’d make sports truly inclusive by scrapping gender divisions entirely. Everyone - male, female, non-binary - would compete in the same tournaments. No more men’s World Cup, no more women’s World Cup, just the World Cup. The only thing that would matter is who’s best at the sport. If I was in charge, no one would be left out, no one would be excluded, and complaints about unfairness would vanish - because the system itself would finally be fair. Everyone would have the same chance to shine and excellence would speak for itself.

    It might also be interesting to see how long it takes for the same people who argue for trans inclusion in women’s sports to start complaining because now, everyone really is in the same arena, and no one gets special treatment.
  • Chunes said:
    People who make their children their whole personality should have their bodies removed, and their heads sown on to cabbage patch dolls. This will allow all normal people to avoid you and you can live with grotty kids for the rest of your life. All other organs can be used for donors.
    Likewise, people who talk about their dogs or cats as if they're real people. 
    "Mummy's fur baby"

    You mean your pet dog?
  • Gribbo said:
    I’d make sports truly inclusive by scrapping gender divisions entirely. Everyone - male, female, non-binary - would compete in the same tournaments. No more men’s World Cup, no more women’s World Cup, just the World Cup. The only thing that would matter is who’s best at the sport. If I was in charge, no one would be left out, no one would be excluded, and complaints about unfairness would vanish - because the system itself would finally be fair. Everyone would have the same chance to shine and excellence would speak for itself.

    It might also be interesting to see how long it takes for the same people who argue for trans inclusion in women’s sports to start complaining because now, everyone really is in the same arena, and no one gets special treatment.
    I think you're misunderstanding the word fair fella.


  • Gribbo said:
    I’d make sports truly inclusive by scrapping gender divisions entirely. Everyone - male, female, non-binary - would compete in the same tournaments. No more men’s World Cup, no more women’s World Cup, just the World Cup. The only thing that would matter is who’s best at the sport. If I was in charge, no one would be left out, no one would be excluded, and complaints about unfairness would vanish - because the system itself would finally be fair. Everyone would have the same chance to shine and excellence would speak for itself.

    It might also be interesting to see how long it takes for the same people who argue for trans inclusion in women’s sports to start complaining because now, everyone really is in the same arena, and no one gets special treatment.
    Contestants at the Women’s World Boxing Championships will have to undergo a gender check before competing. 

    That will look good on a CV, for whoever gets that gig 😂 
  • Can we keep the politics off this thread please? that does go both ways right? 
  • The first man who can win a starring contest with a goose is promptly crowned Lord of the Stare. Its a largely ceremonial position but he does win the respect of all men and is gifted a harem of the finest women in the land.
  • Gribbo said:
    I’d make sports truly inclusive by scrapping gender divisions entirely. Everyone - male, female, non-binary - would compete in the same tournaments. No more men’s World Cup, no more women’s World Cup, just the World Cup. The only thing that would matter is who’s best at the sport. If I was in charge, no one would be left out, no one would be excluded, and complaints about unfairness would vanish - because the system itself would finally be fair. Everyone would have the same chance to shine and excellence would speak for itself.

    It might also be interesting to see how long it takes for the same people who argue for trans inclusion in women’s sports to start complaining because now, everyone really is in the same arena, and no one gets special treatment.
    Contestants at the Women’s World Boxing Championships will have to undergo a gender check before competing. 

    That will look good on a CV, for whoever gets that gig 😂 
    I think there should also be someone performing that role for certain weightlifting disciplines. Obviously whoever did it would need to start out on a trial basis so the job would be advertised as Probationary Snatch Snatch Prober. 
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  • A firing squad for any tfl worker striking due to fatigue.
  • An electric shock for anyone walking on the right on a keep left corridor on the London Underground network 
  • Anyone who stops to take a selfie on Westminster Bridge shall first have their phone thrown in the Thames and then themselves. In case that's not enough they will be given a dose of dysentery.
  • Boy racers who modify their exhausts so they sound like a gun going off, make them stand in front of a firing squad.

    The idiots who have heavy bass playing in their car, they can spend a year in jail in complete silence.
  • I'd set up a very forceful recycling rule and make sure everyone has access to the correct and dedicated bin for specific waste. 

    Plastic, wasted food, wood etc

    The streets will also need to be clean. 

    If anyone is caught trashing our streets then they get fined £10,000. 

    No ifs no buts.

    I will provide british born homeless with hilton hotel accommodation. 

    They live there for free for 4 weeks and recharge their batteries. 

    If they stay, they work at the hotel for the right to live there. Something that is good for the business itself and makes money.

    I will say that every professional footballer can earn maximum of £30,000 a week.

    If they struggle on that and it brings debt due to significant reduction...tough shit.

    St georges = full paid Bank Holiday 


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